Writing Feedback / IELTS - Education should be considered as the most important factor in a country's success [10]

Economic progress is often used to measure a country's success. However, some people believe that other factors are more important. What other factors should also be considered when measuring a country's success? Do you think one factor is more important than others?

Some experts usually evaluate a country's development based on its economy alone. However there are more important factors contributing to the success of a nation, and among which education should be considered as the most important element.

The success of a country depends on a number of aspects in close relationship. Beside the economy, the national education, health, environment and culture play even more significant roles. In fact, the education provides skilled workforces for a country's job market. In addition, the remaining factors help to define the living standard and the sustainable development of that country. Take Vietnam for an example. If the government had allowed mining raw resources in highland areas, its forests would have been destroyed and its water resources would have been polluted. What seemed economically benefited at first would have resulted in a great impact to the environment and people heath, costing a large amount of government budget to fix problems.

In my opinion, among all factors that decide a national advancement, education plays the most important part. Firstly, every individuals need to be educated to the right level before they can join the workforce, especially when the modern work place is becoming more knowledge-based. These people will directly determine the quality and gains a country can make. Another important point is that without education, people have to turn to jobs which are usually low-paid, or they even hardly find a job. These people will rely on unemployment or low-income support from the government. Also, companies with low quality employers will hardly compete with others overseas.

In conclusion, there are many factors which are more important than the economy of a country in accessing its success, and education should be considered as the most important part.

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay, Men and women are different in terms of their characteristics and abilities [7]

Please comment on my essay below, much appreciated

Men and women are different in terms of their characteristics and abilities. For this reason, some jobs are better done by men and others by women. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is well-known that male and female are different in both mental and physical aspects. Because of this some people think that many jobs are more suitable for men than women. Despite this conception, it is believed that women are capable of doing most of careers that men can do.

The preconception of favouring men for labour-intensive, innovative and stressful works has its reasonable reasons. Firstly, men, on average, are born with stronger physical body than women. Secondly, in earlier time, women used to busy nurturing babies and bringing up children while men had more time and were trained better for more important works. Thirdly, for dangerous and stressful situations such as fighting in the wars or operating to rescue a patient, men have been more tolerable than women. For these beliefs, many people prefer men to women as they employing them.

Despite these reasons, it can be shown that females completely have the abilities to do nearly all the professions of which males are capable. For example, in the early 90s, no woman could study and worked as a doctor because of the aforementioned preconceptions. However, several decades later, an American lady, regardless of all prejudices, successfully finished her doctor degree with highest honour. She even later invented the concept of disease prevention education and taught many households about the importance of proper sanitary and good nutrition food and helped them live much healthier. Without her leading work, community health would not have been as good as nowadays.

To conclude, although there are some opposing thoughts that women may not have abilities as men in some areas. It has been proved that this is not the case, and that women even are more innovative in many fields.

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before [3]

Please comment on my essay below. Many thanks

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

The last 50 years have seen an increasing number of immigrants to other countries. People moved due to a number of reasons, namely better educations or higher salary jobs. Some people thought that they should follow the local customs in order to integrate into their adopted countries' cultures. However I strongly believe that they are able to sustain their cultural identities and doing so help they keep their origin values.

Firstly, maintaining one's cultural identity is a key important rule to help individuals emerge in the new multicultural environments. Take Australia for example, immigrants from varieties of nations have a day called multicultural day where people from each country prepare their food and traditional activities for displaying in the public venues. Many Australians come this day to enjoy the shows, learn about the cultures and admire the diverse values. These feedbacks, in turn, help raise one's pride of their cultures and help people understand each other more. Thus this makes it clear that sustaining the cultural values of immigrants is paramount essential.

Secondly, it is crucial to keep one's identity for they need a connection back to their country as well as teach their children their value of origin. For instance, children immigrated to a new country will face social troubles in school with new friends. In this new environment, parent should find friends coming from their same country so that they can socialize in a very familiar manner as feeling being home. Fail to create this familiarity makes them felt isolated, in the extreme can lead to social disorder like autism. Hence, it is clear that keeping the cultural traditions in the destination countries is tremendous important.

To conclude, although there are opposing ideas of neglecting one's cultural values to adapt in the new cultures. As far as I am concerned, sustaining the traditions will make the immigrated people keep their cultural identity and give them confident among the many culture society.

Writing Feedback / International tourism promotes many aspects of the destination country's economy [3]

Please comment on my essay below. Thanks a lot for your time

International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions on this?

The last decade has seen an increasing number of tourists travelling to visit natural wonder sights, ancient heritages and different cultures around the world. While some people might think that this international tourism has negative effects on the destination countries, I would contend that it has contributed to the economic development as well as preserved the culture and environment of the tourist destinations.

Firstly, international tourism promotes many aspects of the destination country's economy in order to serve various demands of tourists. Take Cambodia for example, a large number of visitors coming to visit the Angkowat ancient temple need services like restaurants, hotels, souvenir shops and other stores. These demands trigger related business in the surrounding settings which in turn create many jobs for local people improve infrastructure and living standard. Therefore tourism has clearly improved lives in the tourist country.

Secondly, through tourism industry, many cultural values have been preserved and natural environments have been protected. For instance, in Vietnam, many cultural costumes and natural scenes, namely 'Trong Dong' drum performance and 'Ha Long' bay, are being encouraged to preserve and funded by the tourism ministry. Without this support and profit from tourism, many traditional cultures would disappear due to its low income works. Thus, tourism has survived many non-tangible cultural values and beauty scenes.

To conclude, as far as I am concerned, international tourism has both triggered economic development and maintained cultural and environment values of the tourist countries. In addition, the authorities should adequately support these sustainable developments.

Writing Feedback / IELTS, Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular [4]

Please comment on my essay below. Thanks

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not.

What are your opinions in this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Modern and busy society makes fast food become more and more popular. Debates on whether this is a good or bad tendency has been a controversial topic. However despite its negative points, I believe fast food bring us more benefits.

Most people considered fast food as junk food, unbalance diet and unhealthy as compare to food made at home or in restaurants, thus discouraging its development. In fact, people having this food on a regular basis are likely to have health problem. For instance, high saturated-fat, large amount of calories and low fiber intake when having burgers for a long time will cause high risk of heart diseases and diabetes. In addition, competitions between these quick serve and take away restaurants drive them to make tastier fattier food to satisfy customer appetite regardless of its nutrition.

Despite these facts, I believe that that fast food are extremely convenient, cheap, filling and can be made healthier. A better burger can be processed by using good quality oil, mayonnaise, lean meat, light cheese and a variety of veggies. Different burger options such as less fat, salty, lean meat and more vegetable will also help people with dietary concerns. Moreover, new fast food dishes that are healthier, more balance and good nutrition should be investigated to meet the need of informed customers.

To conclude, although fast food is considered not as nutritious as restaurant or home meals, as far as I am concerned, it can be created healthier and more optional, its popularity also help us buy it almost everywhere and every time thus should be developed.

Writing Feedback / IELTS, Even though developing countries receive financial help, poverty is still an issue [2]

Developed countries are supporting developing countries to fight poor conditions mainly through financial aid but perceived improvement is not as desired. Experts suggest considering more effective and long-term help so poor countries can most benefit. I strongly agree that stable help such as economic investments and skill and education training are practical and affordable approaches.

In fact, economic investments trigger various developments in developing countries in many aspects. The governments in both sides should encourage companies to invest infrastructures and specialists to developing countries through their policies, such as free tax. This will create many jobs and employers will be better trained to meet the high quality requirement. Also, this will in turn make the development of different services in the surrounding area.

On the other hand, scholarship aid to excellent students in developing countries to study in developed countries is a long term help. They will learn high-tech skill and knowledge as well as professional working environments. Later on, they will train other people in their countries what they have learned, hence more and more people can receive better education by this method. To achieve effective help, the governments should take more priority to give scholarships to the areas that developing countries most demand, have potentials and that the develop countries are strong in these area.

To conclude, financial aids to developing countries are necessary for their immediate expense. However longer term help such as economic investments and education help such as scholarships have been shown to have good impacts for future development of developing countries.

Writing Feedback / Ielts essay, The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades [3]

Internet has revolutionized how people communicate, entertain and receive information; it is part of our day-to-day activities. Controversy on whether internet bringing us more good or bad is becoming even hotter as more and more people finds internet essential. So far the trend is on the positive side.

As far as I am concerned, many parents are increasingly worrying about the harmful content that their children accidentally or incidentally see on the internet when they browse the web pages and search for the needed information for their homework. Some might think parents sometimes over-imagine the bad effects of internet but I would argue that they should do so and teach their children how to use internet properly so that when a stranger, for instance, ask their privacy information, they should seek advice from parent.

However, I completely believe that the World Wide Web bring us far more benefits than harms. People can search for massive knowledge on Wikipedia, an open access and editing library, while they can also enter new knowledge missing in the library for others. Online shopping boosts sale numbers since people can buy and sell goods much easier using a laptop connected to internet at their home. If the websites, for example bank website, are attacked by hackers for bad purpose, it appears to me that it can also help the side administrators to see the vulnerable and fix that security breach.

To conclude, from my point of view, internet carries us a lot more advantages than disadvantages as shown above. I believe that if people use it properly, they can utilize it to make their life better.