Nhasir Rahmatia
May 11, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: How Dangerous Products are Dealt with in Three Countries [4]
what does it mean?
with through five ways
what does it mean?
Nhasir Rahmatia
Apr 17, 2014
Writing Feedback / WRITING IELTS TASK 2: Artists, Money and Government [3]
some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the thing they create, while others struggle to survive. Government should take steps to resolve this unfair situation.
to what extend do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, all people need money to survive their life. Even every body spends part of their life time for earning money as much as possible. In pact, It is disagreed that many citizens think that It is uneven situation between artists and folks commonly so they demand government to solve it. Analyzing using time and maximizing potency connecting income both of kinds of society will show this.
Firstly, artists are more able to manage and use their time as well as possible. They can range their activity by making good timetables each activity which can help them to remember the structure of their job so that their time will not be useless. In instance, some artists have a manager or assistant to prepare their necessity. Thus this makes it clear why artists can collect more money than other societies.
Secondly, artists can be more able to maximize and improve their prospects which they have. Every body has potential which has to be maximized for being better because talent is one of the important things in catching success. For example, professional painter will attend painting course to develop and improve their painting talent to get the best result of their painting and become professional or famous painter. From this, it becomes immense evident that artists are smart to heighten their self prospects and easy to merit more money.
In summary, commonly society cannot organize and boost their time and self potential. Thus this prove that they will not be professional in working and no knowing their talent. In this case, it will not be solved as long as the society cannot use their time better so if they want to change their life they have to be able to move their life way in managing time and potential.
some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the thing they create, while others struggle to survive. Government should take steps to resolve this unfair situation.
to what extend do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, all people need money to survive their life. Even every body spends part of their life time for earning money as much as possible. In pact, It is disagreed that many citizens think that It is uneven situation between artists and folks commonly so they demand government to solve it. Analyzing using time and maximizing potency connecting income both of kinds of society will show this.
Firstly, artists are more able to manage and use their time as well as possible. They can range their activity by making good timetables each activity which can help them to remember the structure of their job so that their time will not be useless. In instance, some artists have a manager or assistant to prepare their necessity. Thus this makes it clear why artists can collect more money than other societies.
Secondly, artists can be more able to maximize and improve their prospects which they have. Every body has potential which has to be maximized for being better because talent is one of the important things in catching success. For example, professional painter will attend painting course to develop and improve their painting talent to get the best result of their painting and become professional or famous painter. From this, it becomes immense evident that artists are smart to heighten their self prospects and easy to merit more money.
In summary, commonly society cannot organize and boost their time and self potential. Thus this prove that they will not be professional in working and no knowing their talent. In this case, it will not be solved as long as the society cannot use their time better so if they want to change their life they have to be able to move their life way in managing time and potential.
Nhasir Rahmatia
Apr 17, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : Male graduate from Cullum university [9]
1500 student
graduat males
Nhasir Rahmatia
Apr 17, 2014
Writing Feedback / Life is unfair; Big money for some modern artist while other struggle to survive [5]
most people who work in art industry isare usually associated withas rich people
It is quite understandable knowing they sell their creativity in the right way.
It is quite understandable knowingconjunction they sell their creativity in the right way.
Nhasir Rahmatia
Apr 15, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK1; the number of Canadian university based on sex [7]
Helloo,,, Friends My Name Is Khan...
This is WRITING IELTS TASK 1
The following chart illustrates university graduate numbers in Canada based on sex from 1992 to 2007.
Graduate numbers over 15-year period got peak in 2007 but the number of female was always more than total of male. In 1992 both had slightly different numbers at just over 70.000 males and about 100.000 females. Inversely, in 2007 they had much more different increasing of the number of both. The total of female were well above 140.000. by comparison, the number of males was about 90.000. The line chart between female and male formed winder and winder.
A more detailed look at the graph reveals that the growth was not steady. From 1992 to 1995, there was steady climb, it was followed by slightly decreasing between 1995 and 2000. After 2000, there was strong increasing rate, from just about 100.000 to almost 150.000 female and male went up from less than 75.000 to 95.000 in 2007.
Clearly, the growth of them was similar, even thought graduate women were more than men.
Helloo,,, Friends My Name Is Khan...
This is WRITING IELTS TASK 1
The following chart illustrates university graduate numbers in Canada based on sex from 1992 to 2007.
Graduate numbers over 15-year period got peak in 2007 but the number of female was always more than total of male. In 1992 both had slightly different numbers at just over 70.000 males and about 100.000 females. Inversely, in 2007 they had much more different increasing of the number of both. The total of female were well above 140.000. by comparison, the number of males was about 90.000. The line chart between female and male formed winder and winder.
A more detailed look at the graph reveals that the growth was not steady. From 1992 to 1995, there was steady climb, it was followed by slightly decreasing between 1995 and 2000. After 2000, there was strong increasing rate, from just about 100.000 to almost 150.000 female and male went up from less than 75.000 to 95.000 in 2007.
Clearly, the growth of them was similar, even thought graduate women were more than men.
228872_1.jpg
Nhasir Rahmatia
Apr 14, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS-International tourism should respect local cultures; 'Chinese restaurants' [7]
S+ver agreement
Quantifier and noun marker...
Commonly, you have many mistakes in grammatical
it cause
S+ver agreement
Others thing
Quantifier and noun marker...
Commonly, you have many mistakes in grammatical
Nhasir Rahmatia
Apr 7, 2014
Undergraduate / The Broken Boy / CommonApp Essay - Background [7]
story or background of our life is the interesting thing which can write. I like the content of it. However you should pay more attention about your structure. It has some error grammatical.
story or background of our life is the interesting thing which can write. I like the content of it. However you should pay more attention about your structure. It has some error grammatical.
Nhasir Rahmatia
Apr 7, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS; tuition fees, who are responsible to pay? [5]
this sentence is not complete, the main verb is not clear and many words get miss spelling,
Over the last few decades, ...
this sentence is not complete, the main verb is not clear and many words get miss spelling,
Nhasir Rahmatia
Apr 1, 2014
Writing Feedback / impressive buildings are important for a city or hospitals and schools [4]
Question:
Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Other believe the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Answer:
Many people think that some cities have to build large, luxurious or great building. However, others say that it just wastes more money because it is not important. It is more important if that money is spent for essential things such as health service and education facility.
Many buildings are designed to be impressive building. Many people think that it is important in developing city to interest foreigner visiting the city. There are three main reasons why it becomes important. Firstly, luxurious building brings big income and increases economic system of city from tax. For instance, Wisma Kalla in Makassar invites many people to go there for making office or establishing their business, because it is comfortable and strategist place to Establish some businesses or office. Secondly, it can recognize the city to strangers and makes the city famous to other countries. Thirdly, the number of big or excellent buildings are as proof that a city is modern or big city.
On the other hand, others say that it is just to waste money for harmful thing because it will not influence the folk life. It is better if the money is used to improve health service and education facility numbers improving the quality of human life. Quality of human life depends on health status and education status. For instance, firstly, if there are many folk getting sick they will be suffer and do not do activity as usual to survive their life. If it happens automatically they need hospital where they can be cured. Secondly, the folk needs education facility for studying to make them smart as preparation to face the world and their future such as maintaining their health, looking for job, educating their family, using the high technology and others.
Overall, big and luxurious building is important for city because of its advantages but the most important is about health and education of folk which need more facilities.
Question:
Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Other believe the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Answer:
Many people think that some cities have to build large, luxurious or great building. However, others say that it just wastes more money because it is not important. It is more important if that money is spent for essential things such as health service and education facility.
Many buildings are designed to be impressive building. Many people think that it is important in developing city to interest foreigner visiting the city. There are three main reasons why it becomes important. Firstly, luxurious building brings big income and increases economic system of city from tax. For instance, Wisma Kalla in Makassar invites many people to go there for making office or establishing their business, because it is comfortable and strategist place to Establish some businesses or office. Secondly, it can recognize the city to strangers and makes the city famous to other countries. Thirdly, the number of big or excellent buildings are as proof that a city is modern or big city.
On the other hand, others say that it is just to waste money for harmful thing because it will not influence the folk life. It is better if the money is used to improve health service and education facility numbers improving the quality of human life. Quality of human life depends on health status and education status. For instance, firstly, if there are many folk getting sick they will be suffer and do not do activity as usual to survive their life. If it happens automatically they need hospital where they can be cured. Secondly, the folk needs education facility for studying to make them smart as preparation to face the world and their future such as maintaining their health, looking for job, educating their family, using the high technology and others.
Overall, big and luxurious building is important for city because of its advantages but the most important is about health and education of folk which need more facilities.
Nhasir Rahmatia
Apr 1, 2014
Writing Feedback / 'culture of conserve'; company should give money to support the arts [8]
hello ridwan:
commonly the mistakes or your writing are about:
1. S and Verb
2. connector of verbs
3. Pronoun
4. about the meaning and word choices
Note: I have gave you correction in other of your writing,,,
hello ridwan:
commonly the mistakes or your writing are about:
1. S and Verb
2. connector of verbs
3. Pronoun
4. about the meaning and word choices
Note: I have gave you correction in other of your writing,,,
Nhasir Rahmatia
Mar 30, 2014
Writing Feedback / 'Internet is helping humankind for getting information important from corner of the world' [15]
There is no doubtthe internet is one a network that helping humankind's for getting information important from corner of the world. However, some of people think that the internet can be able to access to so much information creates problems. I think that the internet brings us to advantages as well as disadvantages.
Commonly, you have many mistakes about grammatical...
keep studying...
Commonly, you have many mistakes about grammatical...
keep studying...
Nhasir Rahmatia
Mar 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / money as a cause of happiness; the important necessity in human life [5]
Question
Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness.
Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?
Answer:
Money is one of the important necessities in human life, many people judge that money is as main determiner of human happiness. However, some people do not think so. Happiness is not able to be bought by money. As an individual, money is not every thing, many things influence the happiness.
All people use part of their life time to work for earning money to survive their life. They need many things in their life which need money to get them, because nothing free in the world, every thing needs money. For instance, firstly, people comfortable house for living together with their family, it needs money. As we know that goods are more expensive day by day. Secondly,people need education to change their life to be smart, it needs money for tuition fee. Even though in Indonesia there is free education as government program, it is not free for all. The students need shoes, uniform, transportation, and other things. Because of them, some people measure the happiness by money as measurement.
On the other hand, some people disagree it. They say that happiness cannot be bought by money, many wealthy people have much money, they can buy anything which they want. But they are not happy. Fighting is habit in their home, because they have less time to educate their children to be better. Their children do free sex and consume drugs because they have much money given by their parents which they can use to pay and buy everything they want, but they have no control from their parents. The effect is their life being suffer and being bad family. So they assume that the most important for happiness is not about money, but many sides, such as attention from their family, time, educated children, and others.
In my view, I think that happiness does not depend on money, many things determine it, for instance artist, they have much money but some of them cannot maintain their house hold and educate their children.
Overall, money is needed in our life, but it is not determiner of happiness. We do not just earn money but do not care about family. We have to make balance them.
Question
Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness.
Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?
Answer:
Money is one of the important necessities in human life, many people judge that money is as main determiner of human happiness. However, some people do not think so. Happiness is not able to be bought by money. As an individual, money is not every thing, many things influence the happiness.
All people use part of their life time to work for earning money to survive their life. They need many things in their life which need money to get them, because nothing free in the world, every thing needs money. For instance, firstly, people comfortable house for living together with their family, it needs money. As we know that goods are more expensive day by day. Secondly,people need education to change their life to be smart, it needs money for tuition fee. Even though in Indonesia there is free education as government program, it is not free for all. The students need shoes, uniform, transportation, and other things. Because of them, some people measure the happiness by money as measurement.
On the other hand, some people disagree it. They say that happiness cannot be bought by money, many wealthy people have much money, they can buy anything which they want. But they are not happy. Fighting is habit in their home, because they have less time to educate their children to be better. Their children do free sex and consume drugs because they have much money given by their parents which they can use to pay and buy everything they want, but they have no control from their parents. The effect is their life being suffer and being bad family. So they assume that the most important for happiness is not about money, but many sides, such as attention from their family, time, educated children, and others.
In my view, I think that happiness does not depend on money, many things determine it, for instance artist, they have much money but some of them cannot maintain their house hold and educate their children.
Overall, money is needed in our life, but it is not determiner of happiness. We do not just earn money but do not care about family. We have to make balance them.
Nhasir Rahmatia
Mar 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Boys and Girls leisure activities; computer games, netball, basketball [5]
percent+Vsing
it followsit followed by playing basketball as the second chosen by 26 percent . While reading taketakes high proportion in girl's leisure, just only 2 percent boys preferprefers to do this activity. The other 17 percent boys are more likely to play soccer than skateboarding, then listening to music coming the fifth as 10 percent boys spending in their leisure time.
By 34 percent boys spend
percent+Vsing
Nhasir Rahmatia
Mar 23, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 the most important thing in applying for jobs [2]
I need your hand all to correct my essay. I need your input...
QUESTION:
The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job?
do you agree or disagree?[/i]
ANSWER:
[i]All of people need a job for earning money for surviving their life. Before working, there are many things which should be considered, one of them is money. Some people say that the most important thing is money. However, some others argue it.
Money is one of human needs. Some people say that money is the most important thing in their life because they are able to buy whatever they want by money. For example, they are able to pay their children education until high education and to buy luxurious car, house, and many others. People who think it, commonly because they think that happiness is caused by money. It causes them to consider money as the most important considered in looking for job.
However, some others argue it, because they have different views about meaning of happiness in their life. It is caused by reality around us. There are many wealthy people who have more money is not happy because they have many problem in their life. The common problem that they have is about their children or family. They have less time to mother their children caused by their jobs. They are busy to do their jobs. It causes broken home, juvenile delinquency, drugs abusing, child abusing and others. Commonly, jobs which give more money will take more time of employees.
In my view, I disagree that money is the most important thing considered in applying for jobs. In my mind, the most important thing is job environment which is comfortable with us. The second is time, we need to share our time for our family, it is important to maintain family psychology. Family prosperity will influence and go up job productivity.
In conclusion, all of people have right to choose everything in their life. It depends on our view about happiness and money, but we have to consider all sides in our life, about family, health, time and others. We have to be wise to them for better life.
I need your hand all to correct my essay. I need your input...
QUESTION:
The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job?
do you agree or disagree?[/i]
ANSWER:
[i]All of people need a job for earning money for surviving their life. Before working, there are many things which should be considered, one of them is money. Some people say that the most important thing is money. However, some others argue it.
Money is one of human needs. Some people say that money is the most important thing in their life because they are able to buy whatever they want by money. For example, they are able to pay their children education until high education and to buy luxurious car, house, and many others. People who think it, commonly because they think that happiness is caused by money. It causes them to consider money as the most important considered in looking for job.
However, some others argue it, because they have different views about meaning of happiness in their life. It is caused by reality around us. There are many wealthy people who have more money is not happy because they have many problem in their life. The common problem that they have is about their children or family. They have less time to mother their children caused by their jobs. They are busy to do their jobs. It causes broken home, juvenile delinquency, drugs abusing, child abusing and others. Commonly, jobs which give more money will take more time of employees.
In my view, I disagree that money is the most important thing considered in applying for jobs. In my mind, the most important thing is job environment which is comfortable with us. The second is time, we need to share our time for our family, it is important to maintain family psychology. Family prosperity will influence and go up job productivity.
In conclusion, all of people have right to choose everything in their life. It depends on our view about happiness and money, but we have to consider all sides in our life, about family, health, time and others. We have to be wise to them for better life.
Nhasir Rahmatia
Mar 21, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Most significant invention of the last 30years - Internet [4]
Question:
The Internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different.
To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Answer:
Over 30 years, the most significant invention is the internet, our lives has been influenced by the internet and it has changed human lives more than 50 percent. Every day, the scientists do trial and renovate every thing in the world. The result is that there are many technologies discovered by them. One of technology discovered is internet. Internet has many functions in many sides such as economic, education, health, social, communication and others. The main function of the internet is to communicate. Life is communication. Every thing in our lives need to be communicated each other. By internet, we can do every thing.
Internet makes human lives to be easier. Internet helps human to do the human job and decreases physical activities because many human jobs are changed by internet. For example, we can communicate by our family without visiting them, we can send letter, duty, document to someone by email, we can lecture by online (learning distance), we can apply job or university overseas by internet, internet can solve social problem like traffic jam because many companies allow their employee doing their job in their home and internet is able to stop criminal action like stopping drugs distribution.
However, internet has negative effect for society. There are many irresponsible people doing their bad action by internet such as gambling, terrorism, insulting, selling drugs, distributing sex movie and others. Internet influences child behavior and child psychology, internet can cause quarrel and internet also causes many kinds of disease because of decreasing of physical activities causing obesity, cancer, blindness and others.
Overall, All of people in the world know that everything has negative and positive effects, so does internet. the most important thing is we can divide between negative and positive effects and take positive side and avoid negative side.
Question:
The Internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different.
To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Answer:
Over 30 years, the most significant invention is the internet, our lives has been influenced by the internet and it has changed human lives more than 50 percent. Every day, the scientists do trial and renovate every thing in the world. The result is that there are many technologies discovered by them. One of technology discovered is internet. Internet has many functions in many sides such as economic, education, health, social, communication and others. The main function of the internet is to communicate. Life is communication. Every thing in our lives need to be communicated each other. By internet, we can do every thing.
Internet makes human lives to be easier. Internet helps human to do the human job and decreases physical activities because many human jobs are changed by internet. For example, we can communicate by our family without visiting them, we can send letter, duty, document to someone by email, we can lecture by online (learning distance), we can apply job or university overseas by internet, internet can solve social problem like traffic jam because many companies allow their employee doing their job in their home and internet is able to stop criminal action like stopping drugs distribution.
However, internet has negative effect for society. There are many irresponsible people doing their bad action by internet such as gambling, terrorism, insulting, selling drugs, distributing sex movie and others. Internet influences child behavior and child psychology, internet can cause quarrel and internet also causes many kinds of disease because of decreasing of physical activities causing obesity, cancer, blindness and others.
Overall, All of people in the world know that everything has negative and positive effects, so does internet. the most important thing is we can divide between negative and positive effects and take positive side and avoid negative side.