Undergraduate / Evaluate ethical dilemma you have faced & its impact to you - questbridge nat'l college match [7]

Indonesia is a multicultural country, consisting more than 400 ethnic tribes with their own different traditions and cultures. However, there are two characteristics that we have in common : religiousness and conservativeness. We are tolerant to different religious affiliations, but we are not tolerant to atheism; people must believe in God. We are tolerant to different cultures and traditions, but we are not tolerant to significant differences to the society such as unusual sexual preferences. Beliefs that are unconventional are generally considered immoral, no matter how logical they may be.

So, when I was in an open debate about LGBT marriage, which was a part of the selection test for student government membership, I wasn't surprised that there were only two people who supported LGBT marriage : Astri, my debate team member, and I.

Personally, I support the marriage of people with unusual sex preferences : lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT). People can be forced to do anything but to feel or think, because feeling and thought are something physically nonexistent. So, when two individuals with same gender love each other, what can people do? Can people force them to stay away from each other? Yes. But can people force them to stop loving? Of course not!

I believe in my religion, and my holy Qur'an states that engaging in same sex activities is sinful. But I also believe that people have the ultimate right to believe (or not to believe) in something. LGBT people have the right to believe if being LGBT is a sin or not. And even if they believe that being LGBT is a sin, they still have the right to choose to sin or not. Beliefs and choices, similar to feelings, are physically nonexistent thus cannot be forced.

In debate tournaments, I would be happy to express my opinion towards LGBT marriage. I had to support any statements assigned to me anyway. But supporting LGBT marriage in other situations (such as this open debate test), where I can choose not to support, is a different case. People might think I am kafir, extremist, and consider me unethical and immoral.

But I couldn't deny my own thoughts. I couldn't say that I believe in something while I actually don't. I also didn't want to spread more hatred towards LGBT people, which are marginalized already. So, with Astri, I supported LGBT marriage. Two against fifty.

The debate went as predicted. The rest of the participants refused LGBT marriage, still not convinced with our logical arguments that usually convinced the adjudicators in debate tournaments. There was no winner of the debate since the debate is aimed only to measure communication skills; we were supposed to forget anything that happened in the debate. Yet people mocked me after the debate, accusing me as lesbian (Astri was lucky to have a boyfriend at that time). But I didn't regret my decision. People would soon forget anyway.

However, I passed the test. At least my arguments convinced the selection committees.

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For review :
1. Do you enjoy reading this essay?
2. What character(s) do I have according to this essay?
3. Any grammatical / language mistakes? Please point out!
Thank you {}

Undergraduate / I sent a disinfectant package to fight bullying - Questbridge Nat'l College Match 2014 [7]

8th grade. The last day before first semester break. 06.10 a.m.

I stared to a wrapped box in front of me, sticked with a paper written "To Jane".
Should I send it? Should I take the risk of more humiliation, more ostracism, and discipline sanctions from school?

The previous day.
My class was free of lesson. Some classmates were playing dakon, an Indonesian traditional board game. I asked them to join, and they said, "Ask Jane". The dakon was hers.

I asked, and she yelled, "I withdraw! I'm not playing!!!"

Of course.

Jane, and most of my classmates, ostracized me for my sinusitis in 7th grade, which made me snot regularly. They seemed to believe that my hands still contained dangerous bacteria or something, regardless of the fact that my sinusitis was cured in the beginning of 8th grade.

But unlike the others, Jane blatanly showed her consideration of me by the way she treated me in daily life. She would throw her new notebook to trash bin because I touched it, while the others would only secretly rub it with tissue papers (but I knew).

For Jane's blatant humiliation, I usually yelled at her. But for the rest of the rejection I received, there was nothing I could do. The constant rejection made me feel unworthy, that I deserved the maltreatments. It swept every courage and dignity I used to have.

I became trapped in vicious circle of depression. When I felt rejected, I retracted myself from the society. The more I retracted myself, the more ostracized I became and the more I felt rejected.

The cycle repeated itself everyday until this day, when Jane yelled, "I want my dakon be washed with Dettol!!!" after I touched her dakon.

My mouth was silent, but my mind was seething with anger. For the first time, I felt numb instead of becoming more depressed to the mistreatments and rejections I received. In my mind, I said, "OK, fine!" Challenge accepted.

After school, I bought a bottle of Dettol and several other cleansing products. I packed them in a box, along with a note :
I'm sorry for contaminating your dakon with bacteria from my filthy hands. As my apology, please accept this gift from me to clean up your dakon. Melati.

The last day before semester break. 06.45 a.m.

I put the box in front of Jane's house.

First day after semester break.

I was summoned by the discipline office of my school. Jane reported me. Gossips spread.
But it worth. The action succeed. Jane, and also the others, treated me better since then.

Now.

I am first-ranker, debater, programmer, student government committee, tourism ambassador, and researcher. I am no longer the depressed kid in junior high school. I have many friends, no rejection.

Flashing back to that very moment, I realize that this event made me who I am today. The success of this event gave me the courage to try everything and take risk, to be bold and confident, and to demand what I deserve. The ending of the maltreatments I received returned my dignity and self-esteem. In the end, the dignity and courage I regained returned my confidence to reach my maximum potentials, to achieve far beyond my peers as I should normally do.

Undergraduate / A Jealousy - Harvard commonapp writing supplement (free topic) [5]

You may wish to include an additional essay if you feel that the college application forms do not provide sufficient opportunity to convey important information about yourself or your accomplishments. You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following topics:

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Few days ago, the result of the National Science Olympiad was published. Stacia, a friend I met in the provincial olympiad of informatics, won gold medal in Informatics and would likely be presented for the International Olympiad of Informatics (IOI). I was happy for her, but I couldn't deny my own feeling that I was jealous.

My chance to present my country in the IOI was vanished by two cups of coffee that I drank before the provincial selection. The coffee made my heart beated too fast, thus I couldn't concentrate on the problem sets. I couldn't even solve a Riemann's sum, which was usually my specialty. All my effort, my sleep hours that I dedicated for solving problems in online judges, classes that I skipped for training, became useless. The coffee also wept away the hope of the whole civitas academica of my school to see me getting a medal in the national olympiad.

For Stacia, minor physical disturbance as I endured won't be a problem, she'd been too experienced. She went to Petra, an expensive private school in the capital city of our province, which had a very good olympiad preparation program. She had won a prestigious national programming contest in 9th grade; she'd probably learned programming in elementary school and had robotic courses since kindergarten.

But I wasn't as lucky as Stacia. I live in a small city with not many opportunities to develop myself. I'd never touched a computer until 5th grade. I learned programming just three months prior to the selection, thus I needed total focus to solve problems that are pieces of cake for her.

I'm not saying that Stacia didn't deserve it, she truly deserve the medal. She prepared herself much better than I; she had been trained for years, while I only had less than three months. I just want to have a chance to prepare myself better, so I can achieve higher.

It was painful to realize that my chance of presenting my country in the IOI gone forever. There's nothing I can do for it, nothing I can do to relieve the pain and jealousy I felt. I have to let it go. But I'm not going to let go my passion in computer and my chance to be a world-class computer engineer in the future.

I won't say I'm excellent in computer science. I can make some simple computer programs and imagine the algorithm for many computer processes, but I can't make complicated programs yet. But my addiction to solving programming problems make me sure to be engaged in this field in my entire life; I would love to spend the next six years drowning in codes and algorithms. I may not be good now, but I will be a world class computer engineer in the future.

As for now, I study my friend's computer science college lecture from Nanyang Technological University and enroll myself in HarvardX online course, while watching Stacia's progress towards the IOI.

Undergraduate / My Father's Dedication - my values and principles were altered because of him [3]

Prompt : Tell us about a person who has influenced you in a significant way.
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My father is the most dedicating person I've ever known. When doing something, he doesn't expect any return; all he expects is merely good impact to the community. He wanted to give his best, not to get the best. For eleven years, I saw him going to work at 4 a.m. and commuting 100 kilometers away everyday to go to work, something you wouldn't find in any other teachers. Yet he still involved himself much further beyond teacher's duties in his community. He iss only a physical education teacher, but he has revolutionized school health system in Jombang, the city where he previously taught before he was finally transferred to Madiun, my family's city of residence, last year.

Growing up with such dedicating person, I found my values and principles were altered. I felt ashamed to be selfish. I judge people based on their dedication in things they care about. I want to give the best to my community and leave signatures in everything I am involved.

Besides altering my perspective, my father taught me how to win honor; that honor can only be won not by mere ambition, but also by dedication, for mere ambition will only lead to jealousy and hatred. Proven by the award my father received from the Minister of Environment, I learned that dedication will eventually brings you honor; ambition was only to make it faster. I practiced them, and as the result, I held leadership positions in clubs and organizations I was / am involved. I was the captain of my school debate team and 10th division of the student government, and now I am the secretary of Pakandayu, the organization of tourism ambassadors of my city.

The most precious lesson I learned from my father is not to let circumstances prevent me from contributing to my community and achieving my goals. Just like his position as regular high school teacher didn't prevent him from revolutionizing school health system in the entire city, I do not let my limited resources prevent me from achieving my goals.

To pursue my goals, I can rarely depend on anyone except myself; I have to act. I don't have much money to do charity, so I conducted fundraisers. My school couldn't fund events because it charged no tuition, so I looked for sponsors to fund my school's events. There's no debate coach in Madiun, so I trained my debate team with merely my experience as guide. I self-trained for the regional selection of the National Science Olympiad in Informatics because I was out of teacher's radar.

I achieved most of my goals. However, my ultimate goal, which is to be a world-class computer engineer and make works that impact globally, is still far from my reach. I can't self-train for this ; one needs world -class mentor and resources to be a world-class in something. Thus, my plan after high school graduation is to go to university with world-class faculty, resources, and adequate research opportunities for undergraduates, which currently doesn't exist in Indonesia. I have to go abroad.

Usually, such plan is only possible for rich kids living in big cities and going to expensive international schools. They have money, access, and guide to reach it, while regular students (including I) usually have none, despite that many of them actually possess exceptional skills and intelligence. But if I succeed in pursuing this plan, everyone in my community will at least have a guide to pursue the same.

Undergraduate / Challenge. From jaw-breaking rides to ambitious projects - Essay for Stanford [4]

Challenge. From jaw-breaking rides to ambitious projects, from pageant contest to semi-military clubs, I can't live without challenge. I doubt anyone else could, as we were grown up by challenges since we were born. Just for example, everyone challenges themselves to walk and take the risk of falling when they were babies. Indubitably, challenge advance people to their next level.

Many people stop challenging themselves as they grow up and find their comfort zone. They settle down, play safe, and risk nothing. But for me, what a monotonous life is that! I see no point in life without challenge, as challenge give purpose to life. Challenge also create thrill in the process and satisfaction in the end, which keep life interesting.

I've been through three years of bullying, wrong arrest, student delinquencies, and some other troubles in junior high school. Those were unintentional at first, I felt them hard to get through. However, when everything became 'normal', I found myself trapped in monotony; I no longer had purpose to live. My troubles had unexpectedly given me challenge that drove my life day by day.

Now, I may be a role-model student; I rank first in my class and won many competitions. But deep inside, I'm still the same person as I was in junior high; I live with the thrill. I take risks and push my fears; I challenge myself. Only I have objectives instead of troubles as challenge.

Undergraduate / Describe interesting interaction you've had, who's the person and what's the nature (500) - Yale-NUS [3]

Please describe an interesting interaction you've had with someone different than yourself. Who was the person and what was the nature of the interaction? (500)

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X is a strange, freak person. He doesn't think like normal people do, he has his own perspective as if he sees the world through some kind of fish-eye lenses. He talks and walks like a robot and unable to understand certain norms. His minor autism, combined with exceptional intelligence, should contribute to them. As the result, he doesn't have many friends. Rarely people understand his uniqueness, but I do. He's one of my best friend.

The first days in junior high school, I was told that it was difficult to understand what he talked, but we talked for hours when we first met in junior high school. We talked about one topic to another, and I found myself 'clicked' with him. I was amazed, trapped in curiosity by his unique perspective that I'd never found in anyone else. I also learned that he had no prejudgment in people, that's why he seemed very happy although many people avoid him. He made jokes that was surprisingly funny to me. Maybe deep inside, I am as freak as him!

We didn't send texts; he would quickly fill my inbox with his formal, unshortened texts. We just had conversations after school, sitting on our own bicycles as if we were going to go home but we didn't leave the parking lot until hours.

He left junior high school earlier because he took the acceleration class. When we meet again in the same high school, I found him to be school legend already. He turned off the electricity of the entire school for the sake of curiosity. He announced his unflushed poop in front of his class. He made the sharpest teacher in the school cry. His last record, he is the first student of my school to be accepted in Singapore's prestigious university.

We never talked in person anymore since he is now in NTU, studying computer science. But we still chat and exchange stickers regularly. Our conversation topic have changed from random matters to something technical like digital algebra and stuff, but the energy is still the same. He understands my obsession of studying abroad, thus he keep supporting me in my pursuit. He also send his lecture slides regularly to help me 'prepare for NTU', as he keep persuading me to go to the same university as him.

However, digital interactions are not as fun as real ones. I miss his freak, robotic gestures in walking and talking. I miss his funny curses for teachers he dislike. I miss his fish-eye perspectives. I wish I can reunite with him in Singapore next year as college freshman, although I have different university preference.

Undergraduate / I felt rejuvenated when researching about issues completely unknown - MIT Short essays [5]

1. We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (100)

I should have retired from any extracurricular activities as senior, but I still coach my juniors in the debate team. I found it hard to leave the club I built and raised, the place where I can freely express unorthodox ideas without judgment.

I felt rejuvenated when researching about issues completely unknown and get prepared to support any side. I enjoy creating an internal pre-debate with myself as both affirmative and negative sides simultaneously, trying to tackle every arguments I made; enabling myself to break any restraints in thinking.

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2. Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why?(100)

Computer Science and Molecular Biology program.

There is a question that I cannot answer yet : how exactly cells differentiate? Zygote divides into exact copies, but how do they arrange themselves into various kinds of cells forming various kinds of tissues? I wonder who regulates which cells will be which tissues, since they are no regulation center like brain regulates human system. My biology teacher said that it was the DNA codes that regulate it, but how? Can cells communicate each other?

Through UROP and assistances by professors and staffs in EECS and Biology, I hope I can understand this.

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Questions for review :
What do you catch about me based on these essays?

Any suggestion and correction is welcome :)

Undergraduate / My activity in Tourism Ambassadors, because I broke out of my comfort zone - Columbia Univ. [6]

What single activity listed in the activity section of your Common Application are you most proud of and why? (150 words or less)

​My activity in Tourism Ambassadors, because I broke out of my comfort zone.

Being a tourism ambassador of my city, or pageant in another term, was never in everyone's mind. Most people associated me with intelligence, not beauty. My usual circle is among people who were involved in the same activity as I : fellow debater, fellow programmer, and my simple bestfriends. None of my friends were photomodels like my fellow tourism ambassadors now.

But I tried for the tourism ambassador selection of 2014 despite of my zero experience in ambassador-ing. I transformed myself from a bookworm into a lady. I learned things I would never learn otherwise : make-up, catwalking, and public relations.

My tourism ambassador activity is something to be proud of, not only because it brought me out of my comfort zone, but also it gave me experiences and friends I'd never have otherwise.

Undergraduate / I believe in God because scientific theories are more trustworthy than fantasy novels; Stanford [2]

Questioning is the most important part in intellectual development, as every pursuit of truth starts with questions. My questioning habit started in the age of 11, after reading His Dark Materials trilogy by Phillip Pullman. The concept it delivered, that God was not divine, blew the whole doctrines and values I'd been taught in my life.

For my whole life, I was taught to believe that God was the creator of the whole universe. People who question are considered infidels in my society. When my classmate Naswa proclaimed that she didn't believe in God, there were murmurs in my fellow classmates saying what an immoral person she was.

However, I faced the same dilemma soon after; I started questioning the whole religious and moral values I've been educated. Was God divine? Did the religious rules and rituals I've been doing even had sense at all?

After deeply thinking and researching for a while, I came to a conclusion that the phenomenons depicted in the trilogy couldn't exist in real life, thus the concept it brought, that God was not divine, might be right or wrong. Meanwhile, I found that the big bang theory combined with Newton's law of inertia are the proof of the existence and divinity of God.

In the end, I believe in God because scientific theories are more trustworthy than fantasy novels. The novel didn't alter my belief, I am still a faithful Muslim, but it taught me to question.

Undergraduate / My belief, that Indonesians are not inferior in science, has been proven by my own bestfriend. MIT [5]

I live in Indonesia. Here, the school (public school) you can go depends on your previous school and examination grades.

For my high school education, I go to SMAN 2 Madiun, where the brightest students from the region gather. There's competition atmosphere to earn stellar credentials to be accepted in ITB, the Indonesian version of MIT, or other top-tier universities. Grades are extremely hard to earn; the teachers put higher standards since the students are mostly straight-A's in their previous schools. Everyone strives.

Most of my school's graduates go to Indonesia's best universties. However, going to world's best universities is generally considered far from reach, mostly because of the common disparaging stereotype that Indonesians are inferior than other nationalities in science, which I have never let myself to believe. Being a world-class scientist has been my dream since I was 5, the first time I watched Discovery Channel. The prospect of researching and inventing things fascinated me even until now. As far as history has proven, except Einstein, one has to get world-class education to be a world-class scientist, so I have to go to world-class university with rich research resources.

My belief, that Indonesians are not inferior in science, has been proven by my own bestfriend Eric. Formerly ranked 100th in his class, he's now studying Computer Science in NTU, Singapore, one of the best in the world. He can be the first Madiunese to go to NTU, why can't I be the first to go to MIT?

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1. Does it answer the question?
2. Who am I based on the essay?

Please consider keeping the explanation about my school in your review, because I have to explain why my grades are not A's (this is MIT :D). Just for overview, I alwaysget the highest score in my city for national exam since in elementary school, now rank 1st in my class, but my average grade is only about 87. I'd get stellar grades in other schools, but I didn't think about applying to MIT when I enrolled myself in this school; it didn't matter for me as Indonesian universities respect my school's grades more than others in the region. However, the reputation of my school doesn't reach MIT, thus the only thing that MIT can see from my report is my grades -.-"

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