Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by YULIS
Name: yulis susanti
Joined: Sep 15, 2014
Last Post: Oct 26, 2014
Threads: 9
Posts: 16  
From: Greece
School: unicef

Displayed posts: 25
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YULIS   
Oct 26, 2014
Writing Feedback / People should find what their talent is, to support what they do, to reach their goal in live [2]

I try to make essay by my idea, but i think it is so simple so i need some ideas to make better this essay.thank you everyone

Prompt : Some people say that the success is 10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work. Is hard work the key to success or is talent also important?

Many people want to get success in their life. They always try to get it,but 10 percent of them do the work with their talent and 90 percent the people do hard work to get success without talent. For me personally, i agree that to be success is not only do hard work but, i think people must have the talent also. Be a success person is a dream of every person. For example, the sales or marketing who work in the company, they can rise their level position on their job if they do hard work. In this case, when the employees only do alots in one way, it does not give benefits and improvement in their job. They need talent like as talent in speech. It can help them to speak up and make other people more interest to them when they give presentation. So, it will be able to increase their status level be higher in the company.

However, talent is the most important thing which people have to getsuccess in their life. In this case people have to know and understand what their talent is. Beside it will helps the people's succes, they must do hard work and never give up to try the failed of what they did in the past.

In conclusion, people should find what their talent is , to support what they do to reach their goal in the live and they must stuggle to make their live better than other people.
YULIS   
Oct 23, 2014
Undergraduate / Family of doctor and geophysicist - international student/ penn state personal statement [2]

Being born in a family of scientists, my mother a doctor my mother is a doctor ## and my father a geophysicist my father is a geophysicist ## I have enjoyed sciences from a young age since i was young ##, so it only felt natural that I should pursue a career as a computer scientist.

During the 2nd Term of year 10, I had a leadership training program in school where we were taught we taught ## the skills required of a leader through a variety of challenging activities.

Your essay is good, but you should watch out with your grammar.i read many error gramatical in to be (was / were ) + V2... and (have /has) + V3...because sometimes u talk about present tense but u used the past tense grammar.
YULIS   
Oct 22, 2014
Letters / consume the chemical food usually do by people from past time to nowadays, because organic vegetable [3]

Prompt : consume the chemical food usually do by people from past time to nowadays, because organic vegetables is difficult to find.

Consuming the chemical food is bad trend that usually do by people. This bad trend has happened since in the past until nowadays. We live in modern time where everyone need something in quick time, such as instant food, but they do not think what consist in. This essay will explain about the dangerous risks and outweigh the advantages of that trend.

These days, people who work in the companies, offices, departments, banks or many others, they need quick something to manage their time everyday. Sometimes people need some instant food, so they will not spend their time on the dining table. People can get the instant food by supermarket such as, instant salad, fresher vegetables and others. They do not think about some disadvantages of those food. This paragraph will explain some of the bad effects of instant food which contains some chemicals on it. Cancer , heart disease, cholesterol and bad fat are some of the diseases that will happen if people consume in much portion. It is because the supermarket gets much of vegetables from the farmer, and supermarket need all requirement for consumers everyday so everyday they must have much stock of vegetables and other instant food.

Even though, in the fact the vegetables cannot grow up on quick time, it can a rise faster if it is given more chemical product. They need some days to make some nutrition in their leafs and their body. They give some special product to get quick time for harvest to get fresher vegetables and more benefits from supermarket. They do not think about the risks for long term. It is why the chemical food is very dangerous to consume everyday. Beside that, the chemical or instant food also have few advantages, for example : it will save the time, will give more benefit to farmer because they can get much money if people buy the unorganic vegetables everyday, quicker and easier to get it in supermarket especially.

Overall, this bad trend should be changed by people themselves . It is because when people consume much unhealthy food their body will make diseases in the future.
YULIS   
Oct 22, 2014
Letters / cover letter - theoretical physics [2]

I am interested i interest ## in applying for the graduate program at your institution and I'd like i like ## to inquire about the availability of any positions at your Research Group. In February 2015, I'll get the Master degree supervised by Prof XXX in the Physics Department of XXX University, XXX. My Master thesis is about Supergravities, so I I've read (or am reading) i read your book and some ofof your papers and found i found## some information give "s" because u said "some"## about your Research Group. I am enclosing my resume for your review.

I think, should u use the present tense and combine with past tense. I read ur letter u used the present continous tense.

i hope it can help u.
YULIS   
Oct 21, 2014
Writing Feedback / People should choose their mindset to have a small family to live happier with their wife/husband [2]

Prompt:advantages and disadvantages of having small family than large family

Having a small family is new trend which will be chosen by people around the world than a large family. This trend is popular in many countries in the world where many families will make their life most useful for their small family. This essay will explain about advantages and disadvantages of new trend, but the writer gives example in Indonesia especially.

Nowadays, Indonesia has many populations where each family in this country has three until four children. It is a big problem for Indonesia's government and they have to solve this problem because if they cannot fix this issue, it will be able to a prolong problem for long term. But , in modern time like these days, Indonesia's people who start to married in youth age they try to change their mindset about "having more children, having much prosperity". That statement is totally true, but people who live in this era they will not follow that old advice and prefer choose small family than large family.

A small family has some advantages for example : need simple vehicles if want to go somewhere, more caring with the children, more saving money to their food and requirements. Be a small family and full of happiness is expectation of every family in the world. They can enjoy their time in one house, open mind each other with their parent so nothing problem and no secret in the family. This new trend will help the country's problem to manage the overpopulation in some countries.

Beside that, a small family can make disadvantage also, for example : when there is special day in some religion, usually family who live in the city they will visit their big family in the village or it called "mudik", it is popular good habit in Indonesia for moslem especially. So, if people have no big family they will not do this good habit to meet each other in.

Overall, people should choose their mindset to have a small family to make their life happy with their wife/husband, children and increase their prosperous to be better in the future until die.
YULIS   
Oct 21, 2014
Writing Feedback / [IELTS] International aid should be prioritised as foreigners are facing more serious problems [4]

International aid is critical because people from other countries may be facing much more choose one serious problems. Many people, for example in some African countries,without comma are living below the basic standards. They lack food, water or clothes which keep them warm, not to mention the education needs. What is worse, people who live in countries that are confronted with wars or natural disasters are facing even more severe issues such as security, homelessness or the pain of losing best friends or family members. It is clear that those people are in desperate need of international support.
YULIS   
Oct 21, 2014
Writing Feedback / Social networks (Facebook) are harmful: agree vs disagree. [3]

In conclusion, i once again reaffirmi think better use other sentences. my position that the social networks that are similar to Facebook facebook have been very positive trend due to the aforementioned reasons.
YULIS   
Sep 24, 2014
Writing Feedback / These days, most of universities have many subjects for male or female only [3]

University and Gender

I agree that the universities open many subjects and will increase more quote for students who enrolling in universities. Also, they do not make limit for male or female who will study in special subjects which are usually the subjects for male only.

These days, most of universities in Indonesia especially, they have many subjects for male or female only. The subjects are such as engineering, information technology (IT), industrial technical, nurse, baby doctor, physical therapy, and others. In my opinion, in Indonesia's government they are giving many scholarships for everyone who takes those special subjects. Those are engineering, information technology and industrial technical, not all students for female especially, more interest with those subjects. It is usually only few men or women who are working in other job field out of their gender range.

The Other fact, the universities only accept student likewise the subjects like as nurse, baby doctor and physical therapist for female only. In the fact, most of female students like with the subjects which are it for male only and conversely. It is because, in modern time like nowadays is it possible if a woman be an engineer or something else which is job only for male range. Other subjects which only for women are not close opportunity for the men students get jobs where it does by male in reality. These days are many nurse, baby doctor, physical therapy which are usually those jobs field are only for women carrier but the men also can join it and they can do better and women.

Overall, the universities should increase more quote for some subjects like in above. So, the students will have more spirit to study.
YULIS   
Sep 22, 2014
Writing Feedback / theme ::: > Eating a balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life. [2]

Nowadays, to be health is the most important ?. One of the actions to get healthy in a life is by consuming enough nutrition food. This statement is totally true.

In my view, people have to need much organic food to maintain good health. Vegetables and fruits are essential for human body. Both of them contain vitamins, minerals and fibers, which cannot found in meat. Moreover, vegetables and fruits are low in calorie, so they will not affect to obesity. For example, soybean product, such as 'tahu' and 'tempe' have much protein that people's body need. Also, soybean milk is proven to be as nutrition as cow's milk.

In addition, eating too much meat, especially red meat can affect to some diseases, such as obesity, cholestherol, and heart attack. It is because meat usually contains a large amount of fat. For me personally, that meat in fast restaurant is the worst, because it is very fattening, high in salt, sodium, calorie and addictive. All of them will broke bnhuman's body health for long term. However, especially for young people, they will not think about their food, where the food is nice to eat they will like it so much. Eventhough, it is made from bad ingredients.

To summarize, I feel that the organic food is healthier than other food. All food that people eat, will influence to their body health, so people should be a smart person to choose food to their body.When their body health, people can have good feeling everytime and can do positive thinking for their life and can enjoy their days with full of happiness.
YULIS   
Sep 19, 2014
Writing Feedback / Keeping dogs and cats as companion. How it influences ownership and the community? [3]

In Europe, most of families have pets, such as dogs and cats. In the fact, pets can be a friendly animal to the people, but also can be dangerous to the people. In this essay, the writer will explain what is are advantages and disadvantages of having pets.

First of all, this paragraph will explain about advantages of having pets for ownership community and the animal involved. Some advantages for the animals are love, cared for, well-fed. And for community are pet owners healthier and happier, can be a service guide and guard dogs. If the people choose having pets they must give their love to the animals because when they are giving much love they will be friendly and the owner will be healthier and happier to spend time with them. In Europe, some people prefer keeping the animals if they have no couple to spend their time to live. Care for each other between pets and ownership are will be ownership will be natural feeling for them. Beside that, pets can be a service guide and guard dogs if people giving well-fed for them. Animals will give some feedback for the ownership because they also can be a kind person who saving their live.

In the other hand, having pets also give gives some disadvantages for the animals which are some examples ; lack of freedom and natural activity. People who having who have pets the fact they lack the animals fro freedom and natural habit of them if they do not care with their pets. Sometimes animals will make some problems to ownership such as make a noise which will disturb the people or belled (cats ) and muzzled (dogs). Beside that community who have pets sometimes they have some problem with themselves. For examples : not always well-treated and respected, more regulations : to protect native animal from cats to control dog, cost of abandoned pets. That of all some examples why people must to think how to handle if they are choose keeping pets.

To conclude, people who keep pets in their house should give love for them. It is because, if people choose having pets such as dogs or cats they must try to be more patient and diligent to care with them.
YULIS   
Sep 19, 2014
Writing Feedback / What life would be like without the internet? [4]

You not only couldn't can chat with your friends does not only by yahoo, but also couldn't and if u want to post your feeling you do not only on the Facebook. Beside but , you couldn't send your report for your manage or couldn't confirm sales for your customer (by skype).

YULIS   
Sep 19, 2014
Writing Feedback / 'Modern time makes all people busy with their job' - how to solve traffic problem? [2]

Nowadays, the modern time makes all people busy with their job. They must come to the office on time, work quickly and sometimes go home faster for their family. But, this problem is on the bad condition with traffic problem. Government have to solve this problem with some actions like as increasing of tax private car be more expensive and use the money to makes good public transport so people will be more interest to go anywhere by it.

This essay will explain about some advantages of that bad condition. For example; the country will be able to save fuel for their vehicles, no traffic jam , makes decreasing pollution , makes good the road infrastructure, and care with environment. People can be a member of those actions or probably some communities with other population. It is because when people are understanding and care with country's problem, they will be able to think for 5 - 10 years later. If government try improving public transport, people will be interest to use it and probably they use the private vehicles only for 2 until 3 times a weeks. And it will be effective action to decrease pollution and solve the traffic issue.

On the other hand, the country who has actions like above, it is also makes some disadvantages for example, it make going down profit of the car company business, everything will be more expensive, people will buy the vehicles by credit, many people will load the money from the bank, and many people will resign from their job because their salary is not enough to cover their requirements. Government must think about those disadvantages, because if that problems happen it will make many people do criminal to other people and many demonstrations in the country.

In conclude, when government will do some action like in introduction paragraph, they must to think about what effect for poor people on the country.
YULIS   
Sep 17, 2014
Writing Feedback / Theme : about alternative medicine treatment and dangerous risk from it [9]

Theme : Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at the best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Presently, alternative forms of medicine are the most popular in the rural area and cities. Usually ,a person who gives alternative help will give inexpensive tax for their patients, it is one of the way for them to make other people interesting with their action. But, sometimes the medical patient do not thinking with its risk. Eventhough not all alternative medicals make dangerous risks for the patient.

In my view, people who live in the villages or cities they will choose the alternative medical rather than going to the doctor. It is because doctor's tax will be more expensive than alternative treatment. This paragrapgh, will explain about some of bad alternative treatments and dangerous risks for the patient. First of all, people who have disease such as stroke or blind will choose going to resource medication. They will call a person in an alternative medical place "the doctor" , doctor will give some therapies with traditional medicine ,where some of them do not know about specification of the disease. And they do not know what are the effect for long term. Some of them are illegal places, they will take much profit from their patient. In fact, they do not give expensive price for their treatment, but when per day they get 100 patients , they will get much money from customer. It is all about education from the patient and their family to choose which one is right and wrong way.

On the other hand, people who have good education and some knowledge about healthy range will choose the right way to keep their body health. For example for stroke or blind people, they will choose going to the doctor to get some operate or going to the other alternative such as physiotherapy, chemotherapy or acupuncture. By this way, the therapist are people who understand specifically about their disesase because they learnt before in the school and have good competency on their job. And the patient must not to be afraid with the dangerous risk of the therapy because they can handle and was thought before giving therapy.

To conclude, people have to choose the right way to get health for their body. Eventhough, the tax is expensive , that is ok if they will not get more dangerous risk for long term in the future, so people can enjoy the life until die.
YULIS   
Sep 15, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: "CLIMATE CHANGE" - politicians should take a step to save our environment [3]

TASK 2
tittle : CLIMATE CHANGE IS NOW AN ACCEPTED THREAT TO OUR PLANET, BUT THERE IS NOT ENOUGH POLITICAL ACTION TO CONTROL EXCESSIVE CONSUMERISM AND POLLUTION

These days, our planet accepts many climate changes, it will make some disturbing trends for human and animals who live in the earth. But, the political action is not enough to handle pollution and much consumerism.

In my opinion, that statement is true and I agree almost 100%. Many problems from climate change make some bad effects for human and animal life. Some of bad effects are global warming, the earth is warmer than in the past, much pollution, difficult to find organic food, overuse the air conditioning , electricity and high cost.

The biggest bad trend of this problem is global warming. It will give new problem to the earth for human life. Many consumers who have vehicles will make pollution problem, it will be bad condition when in the world produce many vehicles so many gasoline also need to all vehicles.

This causes pollution and much consumerism for climate change. When global warming happen, automatically people have difficult way to find organic food for their live. People will overuse of air conditioning because the earth will become hot and not comfortable for live in. When this problem happens, the electricity price will become expensive and high cost for everything.

To get some goals from this bad trend the politician should give some announcements to the company decreased to producing vehicle and not give the easy way for people to buy it by credit, so it will help decline the pollution problem and excessive consumerism.

To conclude, time to time if the politician can solve this problem to make better place for life, this earth will become healthy planet to live in.
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