Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by gbekil
Name: Gulsah Bekil
Joined: Oct 3, 2014
Last Post: Oct 25, 2014
Threads: 7
Posts: 17  
Likes: 2
From: Turkey
School: University of Kocaeli

Displayed posts: 24
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
gbekil   
Oct 25, 2014
Graduate / Large factories bring pollution which affects people both physically and mentally - TOEFL [3]

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory?Explain your position.

Some of the people may support the factory, since it brings new jobs to community. However, the disadvantages weigh much heavier than the advantages. Factories cause both air and noise pollution and they destroy the quiet life of a smal town. In this essay, the reasons for why I oppose building a large factory near my community will be explored.

Firstly, factories causes air and noise pollution. If a factory is built near my community, it will make the air dirty with its smog, and this smog affects the health of people adversly. For instance, I often visit my aunt who lives in a big city where a great amounts of factories locate, I realize that everything is covered with dust,additionally a multitude of people get health problems because of air pollution. Moreover, the large factory make a lot of noises, because of the large machines. According to the researches, this noises causes mental illness.

Secondly, factories change the life of a smal town deeply. After building the large factory, a great amount of people migrate to our small town to have a job in this factory, therefore the population will increase, this migration firstly affects the price of renting a house, because there isn't enough. Not just the renting cost, but also increasing the cost of goods, for example fruits, vegatables. Actually, this factory makes our small town expensive place to live.

Last but not least, factories causes also traffic problems, since a myriad of trucks will come to factory to bring raw materials, or any other materials, furthermore the products which be sent any other places to be sold, so this actions causes traffic problems. In addition, increasing of the populution makes the traffic crowded, one day we may not find a space to park our cars.

To conclude, large factories bring pollution which affects people both physically and mentally, cause traffic problems and increase the cost of live. Some people may advocate that large factories give a chance to have a job, however the benefits of a factory are outweighed by the risks.

gbekil   
Oct 25, 2014
Undergraduate / HORROR MOVIES! - UChicago Q#2 Interests: books/movies/artitsts [3]

salmaelazhary, firstly your exmples is good,and you explain it well. But no need to seperate all of the sentences different paragraphs, all is just about one thing, and you explain the same events that's why you should write this in the same paragraph.
gbekil   
Oct 22, 2014
Writing Feedback / In personal live, we have some responsibilities towards other people (TOEFL) [5]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

People should sometimes do things, even though they don't enjoy it. This is basic part of the lives. There may be small or big things, but at last people should accept them, because most of them is about responsibilities. Moreover, sometimes by doing things helps the people learn about live. In this essay, the reasons for why I agree that people should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing will be explored.

Firstly, most people's lives are filled with tasks that they don't enjoy doing.In personal live, we have some responsibilities towards to other people, there is nobody who likes all of these responsibilities. For instance, housework is very difficult for me, although my husband helps me some of them , but it is my responsibility. I really don't like any of them, however I should do.

Secondly,professional lives are filled with tasks that is neccessary parts of the jobs. Nobody likes attending boring conferences, or working a person who isn't well in with anyone. I'm a research asistant at a university, and as any of the univesity in ours we have a professor who isn't good at human relationships, most of the asistans don't enjoy to talk with him about any situation, although we have to ask about his field.

Thirdly, doing something which an individual doesn't enjoy can led to enjoyment. People sometimes can attend any activities by insisting on any of their friends although they don't really want. For example, one of our friends tell my husband and me about a dance course which we both don't like.

After insisting on some of our friends, we attended, and got really enjoyable time, we continued the course about six months although most of our friends left the course after a month.

Nobody has a life with a lot of fun; there are sometimes unpleasant and boring parts which is not liked by anyone , but most of them are about responsibilities which is the part of individual's live.

gbekil   
Oct 22, 2014
Writing Feedback / Study without teacher? You should choose the right way which suits your learning. [3]

Almost all students now study at school with teachers, but some students like studying without a teacheryou can say--> Although, most of the students at school like studying with a teacher, some of them don't want.

Studying without a teacher has many advantages that studying with teacher does not have
--> Studying without a teacher has many advantages
But at school, you have teachers and friends, so you can ask them for help.you don't need to write this in the second paragraph.
gbekil   
Oct 22, 2014
Writing Feedback / In the professional work life there is just one factor that motivates people - money [6]

Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.

Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.
it says so I think I do not need to compare this two choices, moreover I read some essays which were also written about the same topic, their writer also

chose one of them and, wrote about their reasons;besides, all of them also got higher marks from toefl.
gbekil   
Oct 21, 2014
Writing Feedback / In the professional work life there is just one factor that motivates people - money [6]

Which would you choose: a high-paying job with long hours that would give you little time with family and friends or a lower-paying job with shorter hours that would give you more time with family and friends?Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.

Some people may prefer having a lower-paying job which provides these people more spare time for spending with their families and friends. However, I would like to have a high paying job with long hours which gives me little time with my family and friends. Of the numerous aspects of this, perhaps the most attractive ones are being motivated in the job, spending quality free time, and helping family and friends.

Firstly, in the professional work life there is just one factor that motivates the people is money . People have a job which provides a high-paying makes them motivated , and loved the jobs, since they know that with this money they can get whatever they want. In fact, there is a health problem they can go the best hospitals to get recover because of money.

Secondly, a person cannot spend their spare times without money. For instance you have more time to spend with your family, you want to organize a picnic to see all of them, a picnic even costs a great of money. On the other hand, if you have a job which has a high- paying you can invite them a very famous restaurant, they may reprove you because of your limited spare time, but they probably understand your reason, and get proud of you, therefore just succesful people get a job with high-paying.

Thirdly, people sometimes face with difficult situation in this time, they want to see their people near them. For example, your brother gets an important health proplem,you do everything for his recovering, being with him is very important no doubts, but you also need money to pay his hospital expenses, may be more than this. If you have a high-paying job , you can help him to be cured by the best doctors.

In summary, after elaborating extensively on the positive preeminent attributes of having a high-paying job with limited free time making the people motivated in their work, supplying them quality free time, and having a change to help their families and friends in their difficul times. With this positive aspects, there is noone who prefer getting a low-paying job with more spare times.

gbekil   
Oct 21, 2014
Writing Feedback / 'Airplanes became the most outstanding vehicle' - Automobiles or Bicycles or Airplanes? [3]

if you will be travelling by ships, then it would require from tremendous amount of time

if you will be travelling by ships, then it would require from tremendous amount of time
If you travel by ships, then it will require tremendous amount of time.
people these days can travel
In these days, people can travel
In terms of military, it increased the power of your country. By having it , airplanes can strengthen your military power
I think both of the sentences have same meaning
gbekil   
Oct 11, 2014
Writing Feedback / My new neighbor is a restaurant [4]

It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan?Why?Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

I have been working a university as a research asistant, and completing my doctorate, therefore I usually go home late, and there is no time to prepare food. There are several benefits for why I prefer being neighboor with a restaurant.

The first benefits I always come back to my home late, inasmuch as not only because I worked as an asistant of enginnering departmant, but also because I have to attend the courses of doctorate. After arriving at home , I don't have any energy to perepare some food. Hence, a restaurant, which is built in my neighborhood, can make my life more convenient.

The second benefits sometimes you can get some guests who will visit you surprisingly. At this time, probably you don't have any things to serve them if you work really hard.For instance, my mother-in-law told me that she was at bus to visit us; I got really surprised , since I have nothings in my refrigerator. But, if there was a restaurant near the home , I would order to it whatever she liked.

The third benefits of being neighbor with a restaurant is getting some different meal which is hard to cook at home since I am not good at cooking. Fish, for example, my husband and I really like to eat, but we can't cook it well, moreover we both work hard, there is no time to go a restaurant which is far to our home, so being built a nearer restaurant gives a chance to us eating whatever we like eventhough we can cook it.

To conclude, a new restaurant, which may be built in my neighboorhood , will make my live easier, because it has provided me good meals when I get tired from work, and have a surprising guest, or I want to eat food which I cannot cook well. This kinds of facilities as a restaurant makes the life of people ,whom have no time to prepare food to themselves and their guest, more convinent.

gbekil   
Oct 11, 2014
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: working alone appears to be better. It helps us to be more responsible. [9]

I think your reasons are pretty good, but supoortings are poor.
Moreover, there are a lot confusing factors which makes the reader unsure about your saying. For instance, subjects; you started with "I" and then you

continued to use "we" ıt makes the readers confused.
Your conclusion included new ideas but in conclusion you can rephrase the thesis with your main reasons.
gbekil   
Oct 9, 2014
Writing Feedback / Vast majority of people fully comprehends the truly important attractions of moving number of times [3]

Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place?

Having moved a lot while my father was working as a district attorney, thus I have most certainly experienced many of the primary advantages of moving a alot. As a direct consequence of these observations, I firmly believe it absolutely imperative that an individual move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Of the numerous positive aspects of this, perhaps the most attractive ones are learning new places, meeting different people, and tasting new traditional food.

The first suubstantial benefit of moving a number of times is learning new places inasmuch as an individual come to world just one time, there is a multitude different and beautiful places to live and visit. Mardin, for example, one of the city in Tukey, which is located in the east part of Turkey. My family, and I lived there almost one year, because of my father's job. In one year period, I visited the places which is important about our history, and learned about our own history thoroughly.

Not only is learning new places a major advantage, but also meeting new people is a crucial attraction due to fact that in different cities has different cultures, lifestyle, and different religions. As an illustration, in Urfa, which is also located in the east part of Tukey, we lived there about two years, thus in there I met great people, who were different from the people who lived in the west part of Turkey, had different life and experiences.

In addition to learning new places, and meeting new people, tasting new traditional food is a final compelling benefit since this traditional food is an inheritance to us. To exemplify, traditional food one of the main factor that helps a country about introducing their culture to the world.

In summary, after eloborating comprehensively on the positive preeminent attributes of moving a number of times, including learning new places, meeting new people, and tasting new traditional food, I feel it is almost irrefutable that this is considerably more expedient choice. As a matter of fact, it is crucially vital that individuals maximize these impressive benefits; otherwise, they may never fullfill their goals of having a satisfying and constructive personal life. Actually, even though some people still advocate living in one place in their whole life, the vast majority fully comprehends the trully important attractions of moving a number of times.
gbekil   
Oct 9, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS- We are more dependent on each other than ever? [3]

"A good example for this would be the application of computers, with which a skillful engineer could figure out every details of a huge project, which used to be done by a large group of people. "no needs the second "which"

I think coclusıon must be stronger.
Supportıng details are really good.
gbekil   
Oct 5, 2014
Writing Feedback / As a student I always prepared my own food - it is a considerably more expedient choice [4]

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer and eat food at home. Which do you perefer ?

Having lived while studying at university in Istanbul, which is the most expensive city in Turkey, I always prepared my own food , because I was a student ,that's why my budget was limited. As a direct consequence of those observations, I firmly believe it is absolutely imperative that a person prepare and eat at home. Of the numerous positive aspects of this, perhaps the most attractive ones are eating at food restaurants is expensive, not all the restaurants are hygenic, and the food which is prepared at restaurants is fatty.

The fist substantial of having meal at home is cheaper than eating at restaurants , there is a multitude of supermarkets where a person easily could buy vegatables, meats, or chickens to perepare his or her own meal. From Migros, which is a supemarket, a person can purchase vegatables which are always fresh and cheap, and cook it at home. As a matter of fact, when I was student , I shopped from Migros wahatever I wanted to cook vegatables which was always fresh and cheap, thus I save a great amounts of money.

Not only preparing the food at home is cheap a major advantage, but also hygiene is an important attraction due to fact that nobody could be sure that all of them are careful about hygiene. As a illusturation, in a restaurant could be cooked delicious meal, and served well, but anybody couldn't know about the kitchen.Indeed, one of my friends who went a one of the most expensive restaurant in Istanbul to audit, because of her job, she faced with a mouse in the kitchen.

In addition to eating at home is cheaper, and hygienic, preparing the meal at home is healthier is a final compelling benefit since most of the food which is prepared at restaurants, or food stands is not always healthy, because of most of them are fatty. To exemplify, one of my friends, who always ate at restaurants , started to weight up quickly, then she went to a dietician. The dietician adviced her to prepere her own meal , not to eat so much at restaurants , becuase of many of the foods are fatty more than which is prepared at home, and she get formed quickly.

In summary, after eloborating extensively on the preminent attributes of preparing and eating at home, including helping you saving your money and health, I feel it is almost irrefutable that this is a considerably more expedient choice. Actually, even though some stil advocate eating at restaurants, the vast majority fully comprehends the truly important attractions of preparing and eat home.
gbekil   
Oct 5, 2014
Writing Feedback / Ielts: Parents should be more involved with their children's upbringing. [8]

what we have mentioned above

"On the other hand, there will be limited contact which, I think, may lead to the deterioration of offspring's behavior. Because they will do anything they want owing to the lack of parenting attention. Hence, parents should be more involved with their " you shouldn't use "becuase" when you start new sentence; but you can use in the same sentence. The raters mostly are careful about that.

You need to write one conclusion, because your conclusion give a different opinion, but it could be used as adiffetent paragraph.
gbekil   
Oct 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / Too much attention on small things! [4]

for example in your first paragraph money is just an example if you first mention about your main reason it can be more fluent.
gbekil   
Oct 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / Watching television together makes communication among friends and family stronger [5]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Television has destroyed communication among friens and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Having watched televison , which supplies a funny and instructive time with friends and family , I have mostly ceratainly experienced many of the advantages of television. As a direct consequence of these observations , I firmly believe it absolutely imperative that a person learn a lot from television. Of the numerous positive aspects of this, perhaps the most attractive ones are having a lot of funny time, learning new places on the world, and gathering from television about cooking new meals.

The first substantial benefit of watching television with your fiends is having funny time while watching your favorite movie which makes your time enjoyable , not destroyes your communication among friends. How I meet your mother, for example, is the funniest movie which is watched by a myriad of people. As a matter fo fact, my best friend and I really like "How I meet your mother". While we are watching this movie , we get a lot of fun, after the movie we find a lot of things to talk.

Not only is having fun a major advantage, but also learning about new places on the world is a crucial attraction due to fact that there is a myriad of places which a person can not see all of them. As an illustration, Travel&Again Travel, is a television program which a girl visit a multitude of cities , and explain about them. Indeed, my father and I love this programme. We always watch it together, and we always talk about that one day we may go and visit these places.

In addition to having enjoyable time, and learning about new places on the world, gathering from television about cooking meals is a final compelling benefit, since there is a lot of meals which a person never knowns about it. To exemplify, "Let's Cook Together", which is a program a man both cooks a variety of meals ,and talk about their history. In fact, this program is my mother's and my favorite program which we watch it together. After learning a meal that looks so delicious, we sometimes try to cook it, and have great time with my mum.

In summary, after elabrating extensively on the positive preeminent attributes of watcing television, including having funny time, learning new places on the world, and gathering from television about cooking new meals, I feel it is almost irrefutable that this is a considerably more expedient choice. As a matter of fact, it crucially vital that individulas maximize these impressive benefits; otherwise, they may never fullfill their goals of having a satisfying and constructive personal life. Actulally, even though some still advocate watching television destroyed communication among friends and family, the vast majority fully comprehends the trully altractions of watching television makes communication among friends and family stronger.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳