Writing Feedback / IELTS: Overweight and Diminish healthy caused by Overworking and Financial support.What is solution? [NEW]

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.

What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them.

It has generally been conformed to some countries that people suffer from overweight and diminish levels of health and fitness. In fact, it might caused by overworked time and financial supporting. Therefore, I strongly believe that time management and diet program can make a contribution to solve the unhealthy lifestyle.

As a rule, modern lifestyle makes people doing many activities every day for the purposes of better life. For example, a worker who have full-time job will do hard one activity without do other activities. They prefer to take a rest or go out for meals in busy time and did not think to do some exercise for healthy balance. In turn, people in this condition have predominant sedentary activity in life.

In addition, high salaries for financial support require someone to meet a need for daily basics such as food. Some people think that they should spend much money for happiness that is earned by them. Take a career woman as an example, high salaries make them obsessed with satisfy their appetite and the end result prefer to consume the unhealthy diet. As it can be seen, people might forget the important physical activity to keep in health.

However, balanced activity should be paid by people for well-being lifestyle. A regular scheduled time and diet program can solve this problem. Firstly, busy people need an exercise program in overworked time activity. For example, they can manage an exercise time in weekend or just take a rest. Secondly, diet program is commonly method for obesity. A research by Medical Department report that 63% of woman who get diet program has success to keep fit leads to escape from some diseases. As far as I am concerned, healthy lifestyle with balanced activity need attention of people for escaping unhealthy problems.

The aforementioned evidence shows that fattiness and sedentary activities are caused by busy activities and financial support. Having balanced schedule time and diet program play a important role to solve people's health problems. Where possible, people should consider whaat the best activities that suitable with their physical needs.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Solving the traffic and pollution problems by increasing the petrol price - Agree/disagree? [NEW]

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?

Because of the increasing technology invention, the human lifestyle is changing over the years. As such, the big problem of rising private transportation usage plays a crucial role in the growing of traffic and pollution. One argument said that recent increase in the petrol price is the best method to solve growing transportation problems. Therefore, I personally argue that this method is good solution, but other ways such as implementation of private car taxes might be an effective measure.

By and large, the increasing the petrol price will be a primarily considering of some people who want to use private transportation. In South Korea, the price of petrol is more expensive than other countries at around $2/litre leading to make Korean people use public transport. As it can be seen, others can do as well as this method to reduce the main factor of traffic jam and pollution problems.

Conversely, government policy to increase the petrol price is not always to be effective method for all people. The growing of petrol price exerts an influence to public transport fees. In Makassar as an example, when it comes to increase the petrol price, public transport owners start to raise the prices for passengers from Rp 3.000,- to Rp 5.000,-. As a result, some people of under poverty line will find it difficult to use public transport.

As far as I am concerned, other ways such as implementation of private vehicle taxes might be effective. Firstly, private car user will consider spending much money as taxes payment. In Japan, this policy has been started to implement, and results in citizen who prefer to use public transport or cycling. Secondly, government can take advantage of the private car taxes for additional income. Thus, it is possible as funding support to make advances in transportation systems for the purposes of reducing traffic and pollution problems.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that although the policy of increasing petrol price is the best way to reduce transportation problems, the implementation of private car taxes might be effective. Where possible, the government should evaluate the contemporary problems of transport systems and match with the several kinds of solution that is suitable to be implemented.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: environmental influence could become the major influence to personal development [NEW]

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life.

Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Human personality might influence a person's attitude in social relationship. A research shows that the characteristics we are born have more influences for personality and development than any experiences that people have in life. However, I personally argue that environmental influence such as friends, parents, and jobs could become the major influence to personal development.

Firstly, birth of people actually brings out the specific characteristic from their parents. A Neuroscience Institute reports that a baby has specific DNA that consists of information relating to specific characteristic. It might combine from their parents' chromosome which determines a specific gene. As it can be seen that it is possible the current characteristic might have much influence on personality and development as natural effects.

However, many other factors are possible to change human personality in development stage. Firstly, in golden age of children is predominant age of capacity building in children. Research by psychology Department indicates that in this age, children have high record equipments by their hand, eye, and feeling of around. They are also fast copying-paste what happen in their environments. As a result, although they have a nature characteristic, it might be changed with teenagers start to know more depending on around them. It is true that unstable life-principle in some teenagers is easily to be changed by environment's influence. For example, the rising of crimes attitude by youngster are impossible as generate by parents. It affected by outside influences such as friends, and their places. Thirdly, in adult aged, money and job position might be the major influences for personality. It means that people's perspectives are possible to be changed hinge on economical condition in their lives.

The aforementioned evidence shows that although current characteristic affects the personality and development in the first time, the environmental influences might change the natural characteristics along the time. Where possible, these development needs more attention by parents for children's development to get the best personality.

Writing Feedback / It is important for host country to keep their culture identical (IELTS TASK 2) [NEW]

I need some corrections in my essay here...

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views.

The different cultures by some parts in the world are the essence of various human civilizations, which make people have come to recognize on a global level. While some people believe that visitors to other countries should accept and follow the local culture, others disagree and think that the host country should welcome the differences cultural. However, I personally believe that it is important for host country to keep their local customs and behaviour as their identity.

Basically, learning a new culture might be difficult and need much time. For example, Kajang a small place of South Sulawesi have a unique culture. Their tradition makes visitor should wear black clothes and "Walking Backward" for entering this village. As a result, some visitors find it hard and exert an influence with the declining number of visitors.

In addition, learning the cultural differences is needed for some people to open wider knowledge. For instance, the foreign culture from developed country, US, UK, Japan is essential to be known because it might have strong relation with their development of advanced technology such as high discipline attitude. It is possible to drive visitor do this attitude as well. As it can be seen, this trend is useful for improving knowledge in intercultural sharing.

On the other hand, keeping our cultural identity is dominant action for tourism places which a culture should be followed by visitors, namely assimilation. Firstly, it is beneficial for visitors to learn more new cultures using "learning by doing" method. For example, in Toraja, Indonesia, some visitors will be attracted by some spectacular scenery in there, although they should follow its culture when visit a historical places or join in a local celebration.it is possible make visitors learning more a new culture. Secondly, essential maintenance of culture is possible to give indigenous people earning much money since visitor will purchase some souvenir. Take Dayak ethnic group in Kalimantan, Indonesia, as an example. Some visitors should wear their custom clothes when they lived on this place.

The aforementioned evidence shows that although host countries should welcome with other difference cultures, they should consider the aim of keeping cultural identity. I would argue that, keeping own culture will make the areas to be famous in International views and give more benefits for local income. Where possible, government should pay more attention to this advisement for saving identical of culture.

Writing Feedback / The Influences of High sales to the advertisement and people attracting (IELTS Task 2) [2]

In recent years, the rising of sales based on popular consumer goods boosts the improving of advertisement. As such, many goods are possible bought by some people while are not their necessity. Therefore, I personally believe that the popular advertisement from companies has significant influenced people to buy unnecessary goods.

Basically, goods on the advertisement are the point of view from a company to introduce their products. A research by Business Management Department, advertising as the popular high sales influences the increasing of consumer's attracting in 45%. As it can be seen, high sales promotion can be a power to increase the famous of product to be a popular advertising campaign.

In addition, high and popular sales will be a point references for people who want purchase a product. For example, a famous brand in fashion style such as Shopie Martin can make people attracting, although it will not be the real needs for some people. As a result, some people tend to purchase the trend brand without enough consideration.

However, the popular sale not only has benefits for company, but also has drawbacks for human. Firstly, people will spend much money for purchasing the famous brand. Take a famous brand of electronics as an example, Sharp, which its advertisement is very colorful and makes people's feel as living in a convenience home with some invention of technology, whereas it is not as essential necessity. Secondly, people tend to buy the famous brand rather than others. On the other hand, there are many kinds of goods which are cheaper with high quality. Furthermore, people will start to have consumptive attitude in their lifestyle. It will give damage for some people, whereby there are some significant necessities that should be fulfilled in life. Therefore, actually the high sales popular consumer goods reflect the power advertisement and people's attracting.

The aforementioned evidence shows that the high sale of popular consumer is the medium of advertising companies leads to increase of people fascinating, beside it is not become the real needs of society. Where possible, people should be careful and make their own decisions to determine the standard of quality goods. It is consequences the rising of popular advertisement in many method making people sway.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: Causes of Worldwide land degradation (Pie Chart and Table) [2]

The pie chart provides that there are four reasons why agricultural land has been experienced the worldwide degradation and is measured in percentage. The table highlights the percentage of these causes in the three largest regions in the world during the 1990s.

Clearly, what stands out on the graph is that there are three main causes of degradation fairly in similar patterns: over-grazing, deforestation, and over-cultivation. Interestingly, Europe suffered more farmland degradation than others, where the highest percentage is deforestation activity.

The pie chart shows more than a third of degradation globally is caused by animal grazing. This trend is the highest percentage, where coming second and third are tree clearance and over-cultivation. The deforestation regarding stood at 30% of the cause percentage almost similar with over cultivation which stood at nearly a third. Other causes account for only 7% collectively.

The table indicates that these causes affected different regions differently during 1990s. Europe has experienced a much higher total land of degraded in which 9.8 % of deforestation and 7.7 % of over-cultivation as the biggest ones. Likewise, North America showed over-cultivation is the highest main cause percentage, beside the overall percentage was no more than 5%. In contrast, Oceania group had as much as 11.3 % of degradation due to over-grazing. However, the total of degraded farmland was the second highest proportion after Europe at 13 %.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: General Approaching versus Vocational Systems in Secondary Education [2]

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a wide range of subjects. While in others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to particular careers. Which education system according to your opinion is more appropriate for today's world?

As the world is changing, countries increasingly encourage young people to remain in compulsory education year such as primary and secondary school as a possible way to face a global competition. In some places, secondary school aims and purposes are providing a general education hanging around in wide range. One argument is that secondary school should make children just focusing on a narrow range of subjects in accordance to specific careers. Therefore, I personally believe that vocational education and training system should be paid more attention as the strongest ones for economic and capacity building rather than general education approaching.

Basically, general approaching in secondary education might have strong argument as well as improving human being in various skills. Finnish advocate for generalist education showed general approaching is beneficial for students who leave an individual skill able to adapt or change than one with very specific skills. As it can be seen, this is particularly goal given rapid technological change, where will give a very advanced understanding of current equipment in many areas.

In addition, secondary school in general method drives students to get higher education. Take Indonesian students as example, more than a half of high school-leavers continue their study to university, whereas more vocational education-leavers tend to get a job first. It means that general students are more likely to get professional grades by university that is useful for reaching better job.

However, vocational and training system is advantageous in human perspective related to economic and capacity building. Firstly, the vocational qualification has been designed to respond for labour market needs. The qualification include 120 credits in three years of full time study, where consists of on-the-job-learning at least 20 credits, and 30 credits for working life or other learning environments, and other credits for implementation Narrow Based Program and Bridging Program. Secondly, vocational schools help students who come from poverty economic to get fast-study of improving skills in work force. A statistic showed in Hungary, 54 % of pupils in vocational schools came from bottom socioeconomic, and in South Korea the figure is 52%. Thirdly, vocational school provides higher productivity skills for graduate school. Finland as the best education systems in the world has 119 study programmes leading to 53 different vocational qualifications confirmed by Ministry of Education. It is possible way to provide nation professional labour which changed from human-load to national assets.

The aforementioned evidence shows that although general education gives flexible skills appropriate in recent technology development, vocational approaching can provide an excellent graduation in professional skill that support economic development and capacity building. Where possible, this trend might change and disappear over the decade, the curriculum education system should be adjusted with citizens need.

Writing Feedback / Effects of balanced numbers of male and female students in universities [3]

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, having higher education is becoming a mainly purpose of some people. Many universities are opening wider possibility following subjects for all kinds of students. While, some people think that universities should provide equal numbers of male and female students in every subject, I personally argue that it is not being an essentially requirement, more attention for academic qualification should be paid by universities.

However, while making balance numbers both sexes gives benefits, it has its drawbacks too. Firstly, it is better to accept student in particular course or meeting entry requirement based on academic qualification. A professional doctor should have high ability as important role without consider in gender. Secondly, the number of woman in the world five times more than male rate. Consequently, university is not possible to make equal requirement. Furthermore, the higher number of female's population that are supported by learning opportunities of university will reduce the woman unemployment rate. A statistic by Bureau Labor showed women took 68.7 % joblessness rate in South-East Asia. As a result, if there is no accepting equal numbers of genders, it was making possibility for woman getting career opportunities.

Writing Feedback / Giving work to unemployed people is a good idea for better life in society. [2]

Some people believe that unemployed people should be made to work for their welfare/benefit payments. Others, however, see this as cheap labour.
Discuss the possible advantages and disadvantages of making unemployed people take any job. Do you believe it is a good idea?

In recent years, having a job might be an essential activity for getting better life. As such, some people believe that unemployed people should have a work for their welfare payments which are needed in life. Others think that it is consequences being as a cheap labour. Therefore, I personally argue that although this trend has merits and demerits, I strongly believe that making unemployed people work is a good idea for better life in society.

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Writing Feedback / Young people know best their natural skills and it is better when a future job is selected by them [3]

Should young people choose their professions, or should their parents choose for them?

In recent years, society places too much emphasis on people having a profession. Choosing a career is an extremely important decision that has influence to individual's future. Some people believe that further children's profession should be chosen by parents. However, I personally argue that young children know best their natural skills and it is better to be selected by them....

Writing Feedback / How to behave in doing business internationally? An example - saying "No" in different cultures. [NEW]

Many internationally business ethics discussions going on that believe how to behave in doing business are the central point. A culture in Business Internationally is a set of beliefs and values that the members of a particular society commonly share. However, when businesses are engaged, many variety of answering method is used by companies. In Japan and American, one area of differences is about saying "No". In Japanese business person, they are rarely say "No" to each other, making prolong discussion and finally realize answer in negative means. In contrast with American, they are saying "No" better quickly.

Apart from saying "No", in personal distance or how close people stand to each other in talking, also are distinguish. Japanese and several Latin American are almost close together with negotiation. They tend to stand and sit contiguous each other, namely partiality judge. On the other hand, American is not close each other, where they always make a space and did not respect in negotiating. When Japanese make a conversation, American will move slightly as a battle way to avoid suspicious each other.

In addition, Business Cards might be another area of difference. Japanese tend to concern making business cards as important gradually. On a more personal in Japan give precedence to discuss business cards along 10-15 minutes for every detail particular in qualification and experience. Though unlike with American consider the business card is not important to know. They collect business cards after looking in 2 or 3 seconds left and read more later when back to office.

Furthermore, other difference of Ethical Behavior, namely Bribery is an act of business gifts. In United States, bribery conducts to illegal business, judging criminal activity and being jailed. It is different attitude with Europe, where they are acceptable a briber as a partner business. For example, Spain applied them and nothing takes places as illegal business. On the other hand, Germany considers the briber is not problems, but their incomes should be deducted as taxes. In Russia, bribery is dealing close business organization in which bribes and its personal connection are necessary in order to business activity by government.

Escaping the difference acceptable behavior, companies need some regulations to handle the Ethical Issues. First, Have a 'Code of Ethics". In order to avoid confusion, companies should make clearly statement in running are or not acceptable in particular organization. Second part is "whistle-blower" laws to prevent the organization from term mining and discriminating against employees whose reported ethical behavior. Many businesses is being a part on going training in acceptable business practices. For example, International Sail Business conducts to train employees of mining culture from other countries. "Think Global and Act Local" using approach of corporate many ideas and procedures are used in training employees to describe the values and local culture of business behavior conducts to ethical issues.

Writing Feedback / Now it is almost impossible to avoid the influence of the media on our lives [2]

In the recent year, the media have developed rapidly. Consequently, it is difficult for some people to escape the influence of the media on their lives. Therefore, I personally argue that living in a media-rich society has merits and demerits for individuality and its relationship.

The first positive effect of media is the fact that information spreads around the world very fast. One of media types is Media Communication, such as smartphone and the internet. In a 2013 study on this topic, finding showed that 75% of people in China use this trend to visit social networking. As a result, people can easily to keep in touch with their relationship and find out news that happened on the other side of the world in few minutes.

In addition, another advantage of living in a media-rich society intends to give more information that people needs or just entertainment. A number of significant studies demonstrate that there is a existed correlation between the significance people assign a solution and the frequency and amount of space or time of media mass such as newspaper, magazines, journal and television give to it. It is possible be a point of view for some people will get more benefits for supporting their activities in availability more solutions.

However, media will be damage for some people if the function is abused. First, the disadvantage of media communication is there is more wrong information which is provided by some people on a bad purpose . For example: fraud purposing that use media communication to give wrong information about a sale, and it is possible some people believed and spent more money without receiving the goods. Also, the bad news of media mass can be harmful for some people especially famous people. A bad behavior of Celebrities which is exposed in news has influence to reduce their popularity leads to the job will be gone.

The aforementioned evidence shows that although media is beneficial for human living is also gives drawbacks for living in a media-rich society. However, following these analysis, I strongly believe that media is a powerful device. Where possible, some people need to be extremely aware to choose the best media for supporting their activity and be considered the drawbacks of media's function.

Writing Feedback / The past, 100 years ago, was a discovery era, and this time significantly influenced our life today [2]

In recent years, namely modern lifestyle, is different with several years ago. As such, some people believe that life now is better than it was 100 years ago. However, I personally argue that it is true when it looked by the development of science and technology.

Basically, the lifestyle in 100 years ago tends to be reputed as discovery era. Result shows of Anthropology Department by Oxford University reported that in nineteenth centuries, the socialization style among people influence the modern lifestyle in some countries. As it can be seen, there is no revealing difference between recent time and in the past about some lifestyle.

In addition, in 100 years ago is well-known as the peak of famous scientists born who has significant influence in the world. Many references according to biography of scientists explained in this era, there are many new inventions that affect the modern technology down-to-earth recent years. Therefore, there is existed correlation between living in 100 years ago and modern lifestyle which is being a part in better life now.

However, living in recent times is more beneficial for getting easy lifestyle than 100 years ago. Firstly, as the modern technology is developing, the accessibility spreads around the world very easy. For example, worker and student can enjoy some technologies which support their activity. Secondly, the development of science is becoming more popular and competitive which making human life is better. For instance, many sciences such as medical and engineering is reached by children that is useful in future for helping their life. Furthermore, the modern culture makes people having various activities which are not bored. Some people find easier to get many exercises, holidays, or spending quality time with their family. It is possible to make people enjoy and getting happy in life.

The aforementioned evidence that, although lifestyle in 100 years ago admittedly has significant influence to better life over this period, living in latest times is always better than one. Where possible, some people should be more aware with their lifestyle as a better life with considering the human right.