tal105
Jul 27, 2009
Undergraduate / "My Own Dr. 90210" - common app essay [7]
this is the essay i wanna use for my common appp (or one of them)
please tell me what you think and some grammar corrections.
thanks!
Prompt: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
My Own Dr. 90210
I remember like it was yesterday, although this October would make it year eight. It seemed like any other morning: wake up, shower, brush teeth, but then the phone rang. I saw my dad's name on the caller ID so I answered, thinking it was strange for him to call this early in the morning; he had never done this before. Even at the age of nine I knew something was wrong. He asked to speak to my mom. As it turned out my dad called to ask her advice on a little accident he had. As he made his way to take his shower the handle fell off and my dad, being the handy man he is attempting to fix it, burned his hands in the process since the water was piping hot.
Since my parents are divorced I used to see my dad every other weekend, but he was hospitalized for eighteen days from this accident-which left him with third degree burns. Even after coming home, my dad was still unable to have me over for months since there was a lawsuit involved and the bathroom had to be repaired. This was disturbing because I missed him. Realizing a reconstructive surgeon performed his skin graphs, this was the beginning of my interest in a career path in cosmetic surgery.
Years later I started to watch the television show Dr. 90210. It's a sneak peak into my future career but sometimes it gets a little scary. When I tell friends, family, or strangers even that I want to be a doctor someday their eyes stretch to about twice their normal size and, I hear that common reply of "Doctor? That's a lot more years in school you know." Their comments make my dreams seem so faraway, absurd even. With comments like these I can't help but get a little nervous and wonder if that's what I really want to do.
One morning I was watching Good Morning America when I saw an episode that would keep plastic surgery in the centerfolds of my thoughts. I saw a woman who's named the best female plastic surgeon. She also resides in my home state of New York and is one of only three female cosmetic surgeons in New York. This woman was talking about a new product she's invented to improve the way you look which in turn will improve your self-esteem.
The show didn't last forever, but I was so intrigued that after I decided to do my own research on her. I went to my trusted friend Google. I learned that she was the first female surgeon to have earned combined doctorate degrees in dental and medical from Harvard Medical School. Smart, and gifted along with impressive firsts, I found a woman who's influenced me. From setting up her practice here in New York, to raising the confidence of men and women through her book Change Your Looks, Change Your Life; she's done everything I aspire to do.
Through all of this I was impacted so much I thought more people should know about her. I wanted to tell others that I hope to be just like her someday and that my dreams weren't so absurd. My idea of doing this was through speeches. I've even gotten into character, and dressed up in a white doctor lab jacket along with a stethoscope. I've won first and second place for these speeches as I've sincerely told crowds of people how she's impacted me and the cosmetic world.
My role model, and my heroine, shes proved that while my journey towards performing liposuction will be long, it certainly is possible. Dr. Michelle Copeland inspires me every nip and tuck of the way.
this is the essay i wanna use for my common appp (or one of them)
please tell me what you think and some grammar corrections.
thanks!
Prompt: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
My Own Dr. 90210
I remember like it was yesterday, although this October would make it year eight. It seemed like any other morning: wake up, shower, brush teeth, but then the phone rang. I saw my dad's name on the caller ID so I answered, thinking it was strange for him to call this early in the morning; he had never done this before. Even at the age of nine I knew something was wrong. He asked to speak to my mom. As it turned out my dad called to ask her advice on a little accident he had. As he made his way to take his shower the handle fell off and my dad, being the handy man he is attempting to fix it, burned his hands in the process since the water was piping hot.
Since my parents are divorced I used to see my dad every other weekend, but he was hospitalized for eighteen days from this accident-which left him with third degree burns. Even after coming home, my dad was still unable to have me over for months since there was a lawsuit involved and the bathroom had to be repaired. This was disturbing because I missed him. Realizing a reconstructive surgeon performed his skin graphs, this was the beginning of my interest in a career path in cosmetic surgery.
Years later I started to watch the television show Dr. 90210. It's a sneak peak into my future career but sometimes it gets a little scary. When I tell friends, family, or strangers even that I want to be a doctor someday their eyes stretch to about twice their normal size and, I hear that common reply of "Doctor? That's a lot more years in school you know." Their comments make my dreams seem so faraway, absurd even. With comments like these I can't help but get a little nervous and wonder if that's what I really want to do.
One morning I was watching Good Morning America when I saw an episode that would keep plastic surgery in the centerfolds of my thoughts. I saw a woman who's named the best female plastic surgeon. She also resides in my home state of New York and is one of only three female cosmetic surgeons in New York. This woman was talking about a new product she's invented to improve the way you look which in turn will improve your self-esteem.
The show didn't last forever, but I was so intrigued that after I decided to do my own research on her. I went to my trusted friend Google. I learned that she was the first female surgeon to have earned combined doctorate degrees in dental and medical from Harvard Medical School. Smart, and gifted along with impressive firsts, I found a woman who's influenced me. From setting up her practice here in New York, to raising the confidence of men and women through her book Change Your Looks, Change Your Life; she's done everything I aspire to do.
Through all of this I was impacted so much I thought more people should know about her. I wanted to tell others that I hope to be just like her someday and that my dreams weren't so absurd. My idea of doing this was through speeches. I've even gotten into character, and dressed up in a white doctor lab jacket along with a stethoscope. I've won first and second place for these speeches as I've sincerely told crowds of people how she's impacted me and the cosmetic world.
My role model, and my heroine, shes proved that while my journey towards performing liposuction will be long, it certainly is possible. Dr. Michelle Copeland inspires me every nip and tuck of the way.
