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Posts by Sawsana
Name: Sawsan
Joined: Apr 1, 2016
Last Post: Apr 15, 2017
Threads: 5
Posts: 16  
From: Palestina
School: AlAzhar University

Displayed posts: 21
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Sawsana   
Apr 15, 2017
Writing Feedback / Translation of a short movie to my little brother at school [5]

Bluemoon
I have not practiced writing or speaking in English since the last August
So I forgot everything

Iam trying to be like before, however the time doesn't help because I am busy all the time
, by the way here is the second attempt to translate

Play . Come on
Each one has his place
Ali you have your own miracle, just do it
The dream of Abeer was holding marionette and running happily like her friends
I was always crying , wailing and I wanting to play hopscotch with my friends but I was not able to.
I spent my childhood between operations and doctors but I studied and lived my childhood I tried to live like any child but I wasn't like any child

In spite of all the difficulties I was facing, view's society towards me and the sayings of people who told me what is this disabled lady goung to be

Abeer was born Al - Shajaiya is definitely the well - known Shajaiya after the last war on Gaza
Of course, Abeer spent her childhood, nor like the childhood of any kid
I defied all the circumstances that were around and started to see the side which shows me how much I am creative

Of course I practiced basketball and it was such a wonderful thing that I change the society's view towards a person with disabilities that he doesn't only need treatment

I have the talent of acting and I love the name of theater, but there was a big problem, it wasn't necessary for Abeer to play a role in a series , she should play roles which prevents persons with disabilities . it means that they just only needed me to play a role which represent the disabled people for a day each year , this day is the day of disabled people

They asked me to play a roleof any person who has disability

The problem was a big
I can represent any role
I xan represent my homeland , I can be as an ideal for love. Every role means that I have a role in it and it does not mean that I am escaping from the reality of disability, of course not

I am very proud of my disability , However the artist should have a role in every field and I feel that I am an artist and I have the possibility of to practice talent.

Okay ,now inter as spaceman
Uh Shafiq Hello how are you
Of course, our society has a negative vies towards for women who are exercisingor making workout , so what is their vies if those women are disabled

24 years ... Of course, everyone knows the harsh conditions of Gaza and its circumstances became the hardest for people with disabilities
the last I went to school and did my routine of my life, however I only heard from all people around that what is this disabled lady going to be

The days have gone by and I graduated from university
And now all the people, saying, "We are learning from your inspiration ."

the Dolphins said that there was a worm in the water
And every fish that ate a worm was disappeared
Soso has gone ? Who is soso
My friend the silver fish
Now I am guided by the idea that I exercise my talent in a role which doesn't represent people with disabilities nor a girl I have a disability

I created A special play for the children, hoping that the work succeeds despite all the productive disabilities, hoping that we will arrive at the end
Sawsana   
Apr 15, 2017
Writing Feedback / Translation of a short movie to my little brother at school [5]

Can you help me to correct a small paragraph ?

Hi everyone I left this a wonderful website for a long time and I forgot everything about the language because I am talking Turkish and Arabic all the time

So I need your help in translation of a short movie to my little brother at school
I have translated into English language
But I don't know if I wrote each sentence correctly by using the grammar
Also I need other suggestions for using words which can be so effective and touching
With much appreciated

Abeer from Alshujaeyya



Hey , play don't mention
Everyone please take your place
Ali you can get it from your side
My dream was holding a bubite and running like kids
I always crided and wished if I could play hopscotch like my friends but I wasn't be able to do it
I lived my childhood's period among getting many operations and consultancy of doctors, however I studied and lived my childhood, I just tried to live it like any child but it wasn't like the childhood of any kid

Despite all the obstacles that I faced
The society towards me and everyone against me said that what this disabled girl will achieve in her life ?
Abeer was born in Alshujaeyya district, for sure that everyone knows Alshujaeyya city and for those who don't know this city . I think last war on Gaza allowed them to know Alshujaeyya

Of course Abeer started her childhood like not any childhood of any kid , I challenged all conditions around me that were tough and started to see my self in something that I can be creative in

I played basketball and it was such a wonderful thing to change the thoughts of the society against disabled person that he only needs treatment.

I had acting talent and I adored thing which called theatre but there was a big trouble I faced that Abeer must not play any role in series or on participate in theatre unless if it's talking about the disabled people

And I the producers just remembered me for one day each year the day of international disabled people
You will enter like allian and say hello. ..how are you
Iam getting 24years old
, everyone know the hard situation in Gaza and it's become so harder on the disabled people.
When I went to school and did my normal routine
All the sightseeing towards Abeer thatwhat will this disabled lady will achieve
the days have flied out and I graduated from the University
And now everyone told me that I am inspirationfor others to learn
The dolphin told me that there were worms in the sea and when every fish ate worm it disappeared
Soso has gone
Who is soso
It was my friend ,The silver fish
and now I have been guided to the bright idea so I can practice my talent by playing a role which examplify the disabled people and this role does not show me like a disabled lady

It's a special thearte forkids I do hope that this work will succeed and achieve my goal in the end inspite of all the obstacles we faced to produce I didn't escape from the reality of being disabled. of course not

Iam so proud of my disability
The actor should have a character in any areas of acting and I feel I am actor and I have a bility to be
So why I can't do this talent
Are they any comments on me
Not yet
So there is nothing good or bad ?
Sawsana   
May 15, 2016
Scholarship / Objectives upon completion of degree / Contribution to the home country as an effect of scholarship. [8]

Hi guys, i faced troubles with power and i was waiting for it , i have to send attach this essay as soon as possible, so please help me

I apply for vice chancellor scholarship and the question of this scholarship about your objectives upon completion of your degree and demonstrate how your exceptional extra-curricular activities with particular focus on leadership and enterprise and your chosen degree will help you make a contribution to your home country upon your return

It must be 500 words

Spare me to win glory's forbidden prize,Glory in hardship , sloth in comfort lies . Em'enence is not with cheap comfort bought ,hear the honey gathers bee-stung cries . ''AlMutanabbi,Arabic poet'' these words reminded me of the days when moved from the founder of compaign and working as a volunteer for three years to help students in both college English language and my previous college faculty of applied science through my studying undergraduate degree that gives

me a sense of purpose and achievement, whilst enabling me to
communicate in an empathic and systematic manners, i have
learnt how to take control and organise different activities. I have
always been interested in the wellbeing of others reaching
to translator during the three wars on Gaza city . despite the dangerous situation where I was i knew i that I will be killed because all wars against my city were the most aggressive, it targeted everything can be moved. This experience taught me love to live in hate of death ..it is further supported me by my work in

speech and writing , when I have both delivered and judged speeches and
debates, teaching me how to assess objectively and give constructive
and positive feedback.
after the last war i have taken courses in English writing ,medical and political translation. I didn't stop at this point, but also i used the hours of electricity when it was on to gain new experience by taking courses relate to the origions of langauges such as french,Turkish and Persian language by distance learning with international universities from Spain,Astralia,south Africa,USA ,Canada and Britain. till i broaden my social life, I experience new skills such as how to learn Catalan languages speaking with hands hearing with eyes courses , i feel that those people who used this language are exiled in the language so i initiate myself to share some of my time to talk with friends who can't speak like us , am trying to varied my background in Business , and project management because it gives me it reinforce discipline, dedication and performance skills.

Not only to take courses in how to improve my knowledge but also i take courses relate to the beauty i know that the translator must be marvellous in looking ,solmn and neat . Despite the challenges that i faced like to be the first generation of my family to study abroad , the restricted society that prevent girls to study what they want Because she is a girl , all these troubles don't prevent me to reach my dream as the embassador of language in the world

At present I have only just ventured into the translation and how to speak other langauges and I am eager to dive in this world . After graduation i would like to set up my own

international languages and translation unit in my country to assiss talented students who interested in various cultures and languages. I will try to employ the translators of by making agreement with news agencies to translate news into other langauges, I believe that the land will expand as much as my dreams, so I am looking for making this unit bridge construction with domestic and international universities, I have a spired to lead this unit ,i will arrange meetings, foreign delegations delegated responsibilities, and edited the final reports .this scholarship will give me opportunity to be Belfast Queen university representative for palestinian students to help them

And listen to prospectuses and remain uninvolved, and follow certain guidelines on how to deal with any
situation.
It will be the most rewarding experience at this pointing in my life.
I will do my very best to help students on how they can invest their knowledge ,new skills in the most needy side of the world of English language.

I understand that the arts of translation master degree is a highly demanding course
and needs dedication and hard work

I myself as a very capable and enthusiastic person who will grasp this
challenging degree with both hands to further my academic potential
and become an asset to your university
Sawsana   
May 2, 2016
Poetry / O' home of dearones, where have they gone... - My poem for graduation ceremony of prep school [4]

Hi guys , I want to share this poem with you

I have to make rythm but it hasn't worked out with me and I need to correct this poetry grammatically , also i want meaningful words instead of words i used

O' home of dearones , where have they gone
They didn't leave any tincture and I became alone
The bitterness of nights fulled up my heart
Their smell still remained in my mind till they brighten the home again
O' my sweetie pie who is dowdling on her way to the fount
My hear is burning ,save it and salute
She greated her lover with generosity and bountifulness
And he asked God to choose his destiny with her
Sawsana   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / The pie chart presented the plus points and problems the most general categories of Fairmont Islands [2]

You have to use high academic words
It's not a problem to use word such as good but there are many words have the same meaning
Also if you want to get a high score try to avoid writing the same words more than once,because this can harm your score like catagories you mentioned it more than thred times while you can use figures,amounts,ratio,kinds,types,sorts ...etc

Also the unity disappeared between the paragraphs
Try to use conjunction and connectors
Like (first, secondly, all in all ,in addition, beside, however, furthermore,from another side , one advantage of that , one disadvantage of that , on my way of conclusion, on the top of that )

This is whatI think that your report missed so don't forget to remember it and enhance your vocabulary if ou want to get high score inIELTS Writing

I recommend you to read the writing section on IELTS EBUDDY.
It's very helpful
Best of luck
Sawsana   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Almost a half of the Fairmont Island disbenefits come from high cost living [2]

It's a quite good but you need to give a taste use the adjectives ,connectors such first and foremost, generally when you want to conclude, however,in addition, due to and so on

describe the low(fall down -decrease -decline )slowly _dramatically -sharply and high (go up -jump _climb-increase -rise ) significantly - fastly -clearly -incredibly ) even the stability (remain-at the same level )

You have to enlarge your report with what I supposed before
To me you can get 6 at least
Best of luck to you
Sawsana   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / The general merits and demerits of visiting Fairmont Island; expensive living cost was complained [2]

Dear , you discussed it generally you have to be specific
And you forgot to complete the introduction of the the pue chart . after the paraphrasing of the question you should mention what is making the pie chart distinctive .

Overall (and write first and foremost instead of it ) it is immediately apparent that the expensive cost living was complained by the guests at most, while the citizens are the thing that guests liked about Fairmont Island

And you have to follow the same tense in writing
Also you have to ensue all ratio with the numbers
And as we see the pie charts clarify the advantages and disadvantages
So it would be nice to explain it clearly
For example you can use this sentence to start talking about the second chart
(One disadvantage of the Fairmont Island according to the visitors that the ratio of entertainment recorded a sharp high in average, about 30 % and so on

So as i mentioned above you need to give a taste use the adjectives to describe the low(fall down -decrease -decline )slowly _dramatically -sharply and high (go up -jump _climb-increase -rise ) significantly - fastly -clearly -incredibly ) even the stability (remain-at the same level )and when it comes to percentage you have to write the numbers even the years

Best of luck to you
Sawsana   
Apr 3, 2016
Scholarship / The war frustated my dreams about becoming a dentist [3]

My dream was to be a dentist but i lived in the area that becomes war zone for many years , and I finished studying at secondary school during the first war on my city after that i decided to choose a cheap college and I could pay a little amount of fees so I joined English education college to teach new generation of kids that can help them to achieve their goals and make their dreams come true. after that I finished undergraduate degree and now I am looking for studying abroad to broaden my knowledge and show the world the skills i have ,i applied for many distinctive scholarships to complete master degree in English field but all of them cover the half fees of my travel.. However I applied for the university which granted to disaccount reach to 5% on the fees of course so I should pay the rest of my course tution fees , from the other side the situation of my family doesn't help to take out a big loan so I took out a small amount and the procedures of getting loan takes a long time even this a mount of money is not sufficient to meet the conditions of getting a British visa

Because I have to show the Embassy bank statement of mine that i have 10.000 £ at to cover my living expenses during my studying at least , I have tried to secure my place at the University but I missed the period of payment so they give me only one week to pay the half of fees before the start date of my course , also this is 15th chance to study abroad, i missed the previous scholarship i have got and all professors, tutors and friends encouraged me to take this opportunity for many reasons

Firstly to show the creativity and how we can affect positivelyand the second one to build a school in the future which can employ many alumnus like me and tjose who have ability to improve the services of society and to be able to exchange the information relate of the modern teaching methods with other from all over the world

This is my dream But I can't achieve it without your support
It can change my life for better and I can help my family too
To share it with your friends will be a good help for me .
Sawsana   
Apr 1, 2016
Research Papers / I need to recorrect my words that i used in Compaign [3]

Thank you so much
U really helped me alot
Actually re-Online shop it's a new method we create to sell products by meeting the trader then choose your product online and get discount

Anyway i really appreciate what you did for me
But can you tell me what is the main problem i faced with writing
Kind regards
Sawsana   
Apr 1, 2016
Research Papers / I need to recorrect my words that i used in Compaign [3]

What does re- online shop mean?
It means that you can meet us face to face and choose your product if you like ,so you can order it online and get 5% discount on the price of any product .

those products mimic foreign and Arabian cultures such as Itali,Spain, Turkey,India, Jordan, China and Palestine which can suit all tastes.

How many branches of Embrosanistina shop will be opened up in UK?
Our shop will have 3 branches in one which can make your day enjoyable with us in distinctive ways .
Yes , one of those departments will provide courses online include learning Arabic language natively ,cooking arabian foods ,learn with us the art of sweing and embroidery.Besides there will be a course to learn how to dance different types of Arabian Dabka .

The rest will provide services for all customers like making arabian dishes for private occasions such as wedding, graduation ceremonies , birthday parties. In addition you can rent embroidered clothes from our shop.

What are the troubles in our way to achieve our aims ?
Due to the trave restrictions on Palestine, we could hardly get some of the products to the UK . each product needs a twice amount of cost as much as the cost of each product to be shipping.

What do we need the money for ?
We will finish paying for the groups of people who made those lovely things ( Embrodired bracelets, necklaces, embroidered medals , embroidered dresses, embroidered bags ) to you all

Also the part of money will pay for :
Products expenses specially embroidered accessories
To rent the place of the shop monthly in Coventry -Uk
Our travel tickets from London to Ireland -Glasgow to Brighton
Liverpool to Coventry to sell our products .

Please don't forget to check the perks ;)

Why do people name us that we are as different as chalk and cheese?
Because our shop will be Peripatetic , we can offer services from Coventry then we will move to Liverpool -Glasgow, - London Ireland (Belfast )and many cities.

With your support we can cover our final expenses for us . your generosity can make us to keep on what we start !
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