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Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays

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Waterloo Computer Science Application - Question #2

2 - Your response is over the allowable limit by 17 words. The statement must be edited for content in this...

Undergraduatedanyal_asghar21 - 4 hrs ago / Holt - 1 hr ago
PlayTouchless Project - UBC Admission - Important Activity

2 - The requirement is for an activity that you have listed in the previous section of the requirements. I am...

Undergraduateayred_99 - 1 day ago / Holt - 1 day ago
short fuse guy - ubc personal profile. who i am what/im proud of/how would people describe me

3 - It would be better if you could extend and clarify the character development to make a better profile...

Undergraduateghosthunter81734 - Dec 31, 2024 / Edukid2309 - 1 day ago
Computer Science - applying for ODYLP: Vietnam

4 - @Edukid2309 So NVIDIA is hiring employees majoring in programing or computer science in Vietnam, so yeah I set my...

Undergraduatejohnydong - Jan 1, 2025 / johnydong - 1 day ago
Searching Beyond the Surface- Common App Essay

2 - Grace is not really relevant to the rest of the story so her inclusion at the beginning is...

Undergraduatealexmorales - Dec 31, 2024 / Holt - Jan 1, 2025
Academic and Giving back to the community activities - KAIST undergraduate

3 - @Holt Thankyou so much for the feedback. Seems like I got a lot to work on. Do you mind...

UndergraduateNoTeCh - Dec 30, 2024 / NoTeCh - Dec 31, 2024
Imagination and Design - Supplementary Application Essay - UOFT

2 - There is too much emphasis on the past in your essay. You have solidly established your background in design...

Undergraduatej2easy - Dec 29, 2024 / Holt - Dec 30, 2024
"Impact of sports on my life as an asthmatic" - CMU Prompt

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for your feedback! I agree with your points and worked to fix them. I'm...

Undergraduateazheng2006 - Dec 28, 2024 / azheng2006 - Dec 29, 2024
My final match - College Application Question

2 - The response that you have provided is good, but not aligned with the requirements of the prompt. A more...

Undergraduatedoomar321 - Dec 29, 2024 / Holt - Dec 29, 2024
A driven and dedicated person - UBC Personal Profile

2 - Try to present a well rounded personality in the essay. You can do that by separating the descriptions that...

Undergraduatewdeng592 - Dec 27, 2024 / Holt - Dec 27, 2024
Tufts Engineering - community essay

2 - It is important that you focus on the value of teamwork in this case. I assume that the team...

Undergraduatefranksredhoteats - Dec 25, 2024 / Holt - Dec 26, 2024
Engineering and robotics club - KAIST undergrad

3 - Thank you! But shouldn't I show motivation for my dream? Or is it unnecessary here?...

Undergraduatemelindahey - Dec 23, 2024 / Aimanomania - Dec 24, 2024
Empowering others and helping - UGRAD sop

3 - I like the way you have written your essay. Bear in mind, I am not an expert. What I...

Undergraduateferfl - Dec 12, 2024 / habibraza22 - Dec 22, 2024
My Karate dojo - my response to a problem and/or an unfamiliar situation (UBC)

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for the response. I forgot to remove the parenthesis. Im sorry for the confusion....

UndergraduateLUX0930 - Dec 22, 2024 / LUX0930 - Dec 22, 2024
Volunteer experience in the highlands - PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR COLLEGE

2 - I am not sure which of the common app topics you are writing this essay for so I cannot...

Undergraduatechauchau1901 - Dec 21, 2024 / Holt - Dec 22, 2024
NUS - MEDICINE UNDERGRADUATE APPLICATION

2 - ONE QUESTION PER THREAD Your response to the first question is not convincing. Perhaps it is because of...

Undergraduatebminh - Dec 19, 2024 / Holt - Dec 21, 2024
stipendium hungaricum undergraduate essay for applying to BsC in biology

3 - I would recommend to specifically mention why you want to study biology in hungary. Rsearch about the market trends...

Undergraduateunitzetazeta - Dec 17, 2024 / habibraza22 - Dec 20, 2024
Physics and Basketball -KAIST entrance - what you learned from extracurricular/curricular activities

2 - You have to edit this essay in relation to the 200 maximum word count. Unfortunately, I cannot edit the...

Undergraduatehunggamo - Dec 17, 2024 / Holt - Dec 18, 2024
Dream and efforts you have made to achieve it and your future plan / KAIST

2 - You can delete the introductory paragraph and revise the 2nd paragraph to serve that purpose instead. The 2nd paragraph...

Undergraduateuser23440778 - Dec 14, 2024 / Holt - Dec 16, 2024
Fostering Connections Through Communication and Leadership (GLOBAL UGRAD program)

2 - The focus of this essay is more team building related than community building. The reviewers are looking for active...

Undergraduatelimpio - Dec 14, 2024 / Holt - Dec 16, 2024
Common App personal statement about getting over uncertainty

2 - Well, this is certainly a very personal essay. You have shown not only the development of your interest in...

Undergraduatetltle - Dec 14, 2024 / Holt - Dec 14, 2024
An efficient Data Analyst - UF Statement Intent

3 - @Holt Thank you for the advice, I'll rewrite my answer to emphasize the specific skills I would like...

Undergraduatejoaquint561 - Dec 9, 2024 / joaquint561 - Dec 11, 2024
Mechanical engineering as my major - common app

2 - I do not really see the story you are relating as an obstacle or setback for you. There was...

Undergraduatetattoedtoots - Dec 10, 2024 / Holt - Dec 11, 2024
Global UGRAD - Eternally Loving Hearts - Young leaders committed to serving home communities

2 - This reference is good in terms of experience, but limited in exposure. Since you are being considered a leader...

Undergraduatettquyen301 - Dec 10, 2024 / Holt - Dec 11, 2024
UBC Activity Essay - Debate

2 - Do your best to discuss 2 activities in this essay because the reviewer is looking for the ways by...

Undergraduatepystudent - Dec 9, 2024 / Holt - Dec 11, 2024
Statement of Purpose- Bachelor of Fine Arts Graphic Design Track

3 - @Holt Thanks for the advice. I understand that a Statement of Purpose is simply just to talk about your...

Undergraduatedragonflypie - Dec 8, 2024 / dragonflypie - Dec 11, 2024
Shy and awkward - UBC: Tell us about yourself

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for your help! I really appreciate it!...

Undergraduates_enav - Dec 8, 2024 / s_enav - Dec 11, 2024
Father's Birkenstocks - Common App Essay

3 - Thank you, I have thought all of which you said. Do you have any suggestions?...

Undergraduatemaaxx - Dec 9, 2024 / maaxx - Dec 9, 2024
"You write, so you exist" - KUAS Admission Essay

4 - The opening quote feels doesn't relevant to the major that you will pursue....

Undergraduateblissuueticktack - Dec 2, 2024 / Nugraha - Dec 6, 2024
A resilient person - UBC Personal Profile

5 - You could refer instead to how your parents reacted to your desire to help the family financially. How...

Undergraduatehighschlstudent - Nov 29, 2024 / Holt - Dec 2, 2024
Open-minded and empathic - UBC: Tell us about who you are.

3 - I think you should focus on one or two achievements or skills you have that are widely known by...

Undergraduatetsuikirsten - Nov 30, 2024 / jakartainrain - Dec 1, 2024
"Detail Oriented and Dependable" - UBC application essay: Tell Us About Who You

3 - Thank you so much for the feedback!...

Undergraduatepurinverse - Nov 30, 2024 / purinverse - Dec 1, 2024
VEX robot - University of Toronto Computer Science Supplemental Question

3 - I believe that you should structure your response with a heavier emphasis on what you actually learned from the...

Undergraduatergdg - Nov 12, 2024 / highschlstudent - Nov 30, 2024
Success - What is important to you? Why? - Personal Profile

3 - @Holt Thank you for the feedback. Is there anything else that would be worth changing?...

Undergraduatesarcasticswarley - Nov 24, 2024 / sarcasticswarley - Nov 28, 2024
Mind Chatter (Common App)

3 - I think the story line is good especially the metaphoric interface but it's too abrupt...

UndergraduateTakataka - Nov 25, 2024 / Blahblah222222 - Nov 26, 2024
Varsity basketball team (responding to a problem) - UBC SAUDER SCHOOL OF BUSINESS

2 - This is a very interesting presentation. This is one of the few times that I have come across this...

Undergraduatesugarcookie - Nov 25, 2024 / Holt - Nov 26, 2024
Entrepreneurial aspirations - Keio PEARL 2025 Admission : Academic and Future Plans

2 - These are 2 separate essays that should be submitted to the system. You should not be combining them...

Undergraduatekkpia1234 - Nov 25, 2024 / Holt - Nov 26, 2024
UBC Personal Profile - who you are. "I care deeply"

2 - For the first part of this response essay, you should avoid using the first person pronoun in the discussion....

Undergraduateplantpreyer - Nov 25, 2024 / Holt - Nov 26, 2024
Hardworking, motivated and caring - University of BC Personal Profile

3 - Interesting essay but I think that this could be more engaging with some changes. First, I think that starting...

Undergraduateproco101 - Nov 11, 2024 / sugarcookie - Nov 25, 2024
surprised by how much you learned - UOFT ONE IDEA ESSAY ARCHITCTURE

2 - The first paragraph needs to be heavily tweaked. Since you are referencing how you developed a love for ocean...

UndergraduateJszyuan - Nov 24, 2024 / Holt - Nov 25, 2024
University of Toronto Computer Science Supplemental Question

3 - I agree with Holt, you should restructure the essay for more clarity. It comes off a bit as confusing...

Undergraduatewoodg - Nov 9, 2024 / sarcasticswarley - Nov 24, 2024
Smiles After Tears - common app essay

4 - I really like the style and one of voice of this essay however, I found myslef needing to reread...

UndergraduateBlahblah222222 - Nov 23, 2024 / sarcasticswarley - Nov 24, 2024
"Strumming: My Journey in Music" - Common App Personal Essay

3 - Hi Holt thank you so much for responding. My prompt chosen was "Share an essay on any topic of...

Undergraduatejeremynolol06 - Nov 22, 2024 / jeremynolol06 - Nov 22, 2024
PERSONAL STATEMENT REVIEW: Keio University's PEARL program 2025 Fall Admission

3 - @Holt Hi I've checked the PEARL's admission handbook and theres 2 essays: 1 introduction essay with 250 word limit...

Undergraduateanniechu06 - Nov 20, 2024 / anniechu06 - Nov 21, 2024
My journey through athletics - UBC - Tell us about who you are

2 - The students who respond to this prompt always make this common mistake. They always write from their personal perspective...

UndergraduateBenjiT12 - Nov 14, 2024 / Holt - Nov 15, 2024
Most significant challenge: rebuilding my self-esteem after losing a love for a sport - UC prompt

3 - @fififlower373 - begin by describing your initial love for flag football - share the sense of fulfillment it gave...

Undergraduatefififlower373 - Nov 7, 2024 / woodg - Nov 11, 2024
How I've been a Bridge Builder in High School (250 word limit) NYU Supplement

3 - @gigi_aa - explain your experience on the international debate stage. - emphasize how observations inspired a desire to act...

Undergraduategigi_aa - Nov 5, 2024 / woodg - Nov 9, 2024
The Innovators Club - U of T Computer Science Supplemental Question

2 - You cannot use a group setting for this response because the prompt is asking you to respond on an...

Undergraduatewoodg - Nov 4, 2024 / Holt - Nov 4, 2024
Common App Essay—Grandfather's watch

7 - @vamin007 It is definitely engaging. That said, I agree with the other commenters: your essay should focus primarily on...

Undergraduatevamin007 - Oct 17, 2024 / woodg - Nov 3, 2024
My Passion for Helping Children in Need (350 words) - Boston University Supplemental Essay

3 - Merged: My Passion for Helping Children in Need (340 words) Revised Version - BostonU Supplemental Essay I...

Undergraduategigi_aa - Nov 2, 2024 / gigi_aa - Nov 3, 2024
My Determination and Inspiration for Mathematics in High School (Common App Prompt 1)

3 - What I like about this essay is its simplicity. You are able to convey your love for mathematics in...

Undergraduateessayhelp77 - Nov 3, 2024 / gigi_aa - Nov 3, 2024
"Unity in Diversity" - How to become a good candidates for GLOBAL UGRAD ESSAY

2 - While your discussion about your growth and development as a community leader is admirable, you have missed out on...

UndergraduateDhani_ja23 - Nov 3, 2024 / Holt - Nov 3, 2024
The podium in Panama - University of Toronto Computer Science Supplemental Question

2 - This is a good response but it is not an accurate response. The prompt is focused on having you...

Undergraduatewoodg - Nov 3, 2024 / Holt - Nov 3, 2024
Mechanical Engineering to be my professional career

6 - @Pallaz The essay is generic. You need to focus on a direct career path that outlines what you want...

UndergraduatePallaz - Oct 29, 2024 / woodg - Nov 3, 2024
The Ideological and Emotional Interconnectedness of Humanity: Common App Main Personal Statement

4 - @gigi_aa Sorry if im too late! After reading this through, I really believe that this an Ivy-league tier essay....

Undergraduategigi_aa - Oct 30, 2024 / franksredhoteats - Nov 2, 2024
Why data science - personal statement (650 words limit)

3 - This essay is great, but considering that this is your Common App essay, I'd suggest focusing on a topic...

Undergraduateundvmn - Oct 30, 2024 / gigi_aa - Nov 2, 2024
AI markets - Chevening Study in the UK Essay

7 - You mention wanting to meet specific professors, but consider adding a sentence on how you plan to engage with...

UndergraduateChiedu_10 - Oct 23, 2024 / jasminee - Nov 2, 2024
My passion for robotic - AIF Waterloo Comp Eng Question #1

2 - There are 2 ways that this essay can actually proceed for the interest of the reviewer. The first way...

Undergraduatewoodg - Oct 30, 2024 / Holt - Oct 31, 2024
Essay on how Art Inspires me - fascinated forever.

2 - Universities and colleges request their reviewers and admissions committee members these days tend to run plagiarism checkers on the...

Undergraduatelushiousn - Oct 28, 2024 / Holt - Oct 28, 2024
Journey with food - personal essay

2 - I would open the essay with a story about how my distaste for food negatively affected my health. Discuss...

Undergraduatesmerab2207 - Oct 22, 2024 / Holt - Oct 22, 2024

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