Essays / "Two kinds" by Amy Tan - literary analysis paper [2]

First google this:
Character analysis essay thesis
If you google those words, you will get some good descriptions of ways to do char. analysis.

Next, google this:
two kinds by amy tan character analysis
You can look at the points other people made about the characters and see if you agree or have slightly different ideas to suggest about them.

It's all about what to google.

The idea is not to steal the ideas of other people who have written about it, but instead to use their ideas to help you form your own opinions. It is hard if you just read the story. Read what other people say, and get into the discussion. :-D

Undergraduate / "an artist's mind" - SCAD Statement of Purpose [2]

Tim did such a thorough job, I can hardly find anything to correct...

Here is something I can help with:
This quantifies SCAD's commitment to provide their students with the best technology available.
Whenever you are writing something that is important to you, use a noun after "this" for excellent style.

This boat got me to the island.
This attribute reflects SCAD's commitment ...

I used a noun, "attribute," and I changed quantify to reflect. The word "quantify" has no place in this sentence! :-)

Writing Feedback / "to create original movie advertisements" - Personal essay [4]

When you eat, small portions are better. When you write, same thing. Look at this subtle difference:
Everybody has that one dream, of being famous or even infamous, that and they hope to achieve the dream within their lifetime.
This leads the reader with small steps. Reduce complexity.

Another important quality requirement for reaching my goal is to plan out significant steps required in completing it.

I have a dream of attending college, majoring in promotions, and creating original movie advertisements.

I know that this dream of mine is achievable and will be achieved within my life time. Attending college will be the hardest part of my goal to accomplish. It is not impressive to say college will be hard.It is impressive to be so passionate that you know you will succeed, driven by passion.

In the words of Carter from A Christmas Carol; "Anything is possible if you just believe." --- this is a little cliche, a little corny. If you want to make it seem more serious, you can change th "I believe" theme to something less overdone... like... instead of "believe" you can write about a "vision."

:-)

Essays / The story of the next hour : creative writing GCSE [2]


Well, my policy in school was always to rise to the occasion and do it the way the teacher prefers. Things go better that way!

Your strategy for getting ideas has a flaw. If I give you my idea, you won't be inspired about it like I am. What you need is not an idea, but inspiration. Look around you right now. Whatever is happening for you right now, whatever is important to you in this moment, write about it. That is your hour. Write about what is meaningful to you right now... is it the plane crash in Moscow? Is it Haiti? Is it the earth quake in China? You do not have to actually write about those things, but take the energy from what you feel strongly about and use it... write about what is happening for you right now.

And give yourself permission to lie. You can lie, an you can express ideas through symbols... write a story about an hour, and let that twist be something that expresses a feeling that is important to you.

Scholarship / Community service: This is an essay for the nordstrom scholarship [3]

It should probably all be capitalized: Make A Wish Foundation

The desire they have to continue on living even with their conditions has led me to have the desire to continue helping this organization. Due to that, if I were to devote one year to a community service project I would like to help the Make A Wish Foundation in any way possible.

commas:
Just as their organization helped me initiate my club, I would like to help this organization by talking about the organization to other schools and hopefully encourage them to pursue initiating a club as well. As of right now, a wish is granted every 40 minutes, but the truth is that more than a million kids have to go through living with experience life threatening conditions, and the rate of wish fulfillment is not adequate .

Even though this is a well known organization, I feel that sharing the power of a wish can help change the lives of many people.

Poetry / My Five Senses Poem about Compassion: Any ideas/suggestions? :/ [4]

I think you can find a better feeling than kindhearted.
I think the word "it" could be omitted so that it does not weigh the poem down.

This is a nice expression of how one might sense compassion if it were... sensible. hahah...

Nice job...

Writing Feedback / Descriptive narrative on a person (a woman who is in an abusive relationship) [3]


Don't change to the present tense here if you are writing in the past tense. Choose one or the other.

"Yes , its over.

Use a comma after every adjective when there is more than one: accentuating her slim, elongated figure.


I don't get it... it seems like a cool choice of scenario for the assignment, and a meaningful one.

This story is powerful, but you can improve it by getting the verb tense consistent. Don't switch back and forth between past tense and present tense! :-)

Undergraduate / Trying to get accepted into an ACT Academy [12]


oh yeah, see, that is what the thing is all about, so there was no reason for me to get all over your case about talking about if your parents graduated. Don't mind me! Sometimes I rant senselessly.

Also, when I said it was not relevant, I was wrong! Obviously it is relevant!

Well, I still stand by my original suggestion: write it in a way that shows you are on a mission to do specific things in life. Let the reader feel inspired.

:-)

Writing Feedback / IELTS [Chart Interpretation]:Domestic access to modern technology by residents of UK [7]

Hi Vivien (or Wei, what do I cal you?)

I always have trouble commenting on these because i don't know how they are scored. Your writing is wonderful, and I hope you proceed with the kind of confidence that makes you feel relaxed and bold. You are doing so well!!

don't be intimidated by charts... they are just things to talk about. To make this interesting, give a meaningful observation about what it all means, what can be expected, etc.

:-)

Undergraduate / SOP - The reasons to choose the university: employment upon graduation [4]

Well I am not going to do it for you, or this site would be pointless. I want to help you to be able to do it.

Nail the reader with an unexpected word in the first sentence.
Express yourself like an inspired artist.

The field of XXXXX is meaningful to me, because _________________. For the past six years I have been spending my free time reading about ________________. I know what kind of company I like, what I want to do, and what schools are able to get me there. In this paper, I am going to explain the reasons for my decision in favor of YYYYYYYYYYYY as my first choice...

I gave you these blanks to fill in so that you can get started writing. You can do it!! And continue the paragraph by writing some of those points above...

let's see what you come up with...

:-)

Graduate / SOP for photography college -- capturing a moment [3]

...because of some financial constraints, so after finishing my Masters in software engineering from one the well acclaimed and premier university, [X], India, I started my career at T-mobile India operations as an analyst. During my ...

Once identified , I started nurturing my love for photography as an independent and amateur enthusiast. Be it a portrait or landscape or else an abstract shot, I have been learning the nitty-gritty of a good exposure and some of my most appraised shots are presented in my portfolio.

To satiate my hunger for this unmatched the science and art of still photography, I have worked with some of the professional photographers in Hong Kong as a part of short workshop programs. ---unmatched made it "too much" .. too modified... too fancy of a sentence, hahah...

This is well written, but it is nothing extraordinary. It could be something that will blow the reader's mind. Don't settle for mediocrity. What are your most profound insights into photographic art? Choose one, and make it your theme. Let this essay be like a mental photograph that captures a moment of reflection.

Don't get me wrong; it is obviously impressive. However, it could be better if you find that spark of inspiration, that perfect word.

Essays / Need topic to practice, writing an essay for the first time [4]

You sure are in the right place, Josh. I admire your effort to improve. I wish I knew what the criteria were for scoring you so I could help. I wish I knew what misconceptions or bad habits you have, so I could correct them. I do know that a book by Strunk and White called the Elements of Style has been most important for me personally.

Please do your best to explain to me the requirements for a perfect score.

Please whip up an essay with good topic sentences, and I will critique it. A topic sentence is the first sentence of a paragraph, and it should tell the whole meaning of the paragraph in a single sentence.

Put your thesis statement at the beginning of the first paragraph.

If at all possible, we will turn you into a writer whose skill is just as good as anyone's... and you will have no uncertainty about what it takes to write well.

Find that book by Strunk and White!!!

Writing Feedback / A mystic path [8]

Need a question mark in that first sentence...


I tend to think of it as something without a deliberate purpose. A veil is a naturally occurring phenomenon, I think. This is just the thought that comes to mind when I read that 2nd sentence.


yes! And once something becomes a semi-conductor, it stays a semi-conductor. :-)


Awesome!!

I like the ending, too.

Would you charactrize this view of existence as an optimistic one? Is it optimistic to speculate about what lies beyond the scope of our perception? Or is it neither optomistic or pessimistic? I really need to know!!

Research Papers / Help thinking of several points for my Death Penalty Research paper! [5]

I think callow means something like "superficial." Ha ha, I'll google it later. Maybe Mustafa meant that it is callow to even make such a comparison. The value of a life and all that. Like, maybe it is callow to even do the math, because it means you would possibly have your opinion on the death penalty swayed by what would save money.

However, this question of cost is a BIG question associated with the issue, so it deserves investigation!! That means you are not callow, ha ha...

Graduate / PhD Statement of Research Interests: physicist going into Neuroscience [13]

hi wiggie!
This is an example of a compound sentence, so it needs needs a comma after the conjunction:
"The road one travels in life is not always a straight one, and my personal history so far exemplifies this quite well.

I also crossed out "so far." Try reading it without those words and see if it is a more respectable sentence. I often look at some stuff I wrote and see that words need to be taken out... and it is weird, because when I originally wrote it they seemed to belong!

Most of all I would like to get to know and use real time fMRI to study on-line training and conditioning. ---- instead of saying most of all, try rephrasing this sentence to express a specific vision for the future, so the reader sees that you are obviously putting thought into a future of using this technology. Then the reader will draw her OWN conclusion that you especially want to get to know and use real time fMRI to study on-line training and conditioning.

:-)

Dissertations / Suggest topics: HR Doctorate in Human Resource Management [25]


Oh, I'm sorry, in my last response I had not seen this part! :-)

Well, you also have to choose an industry to focus on...


Don't make it too hard for yourself. Books are longer and it might stop you before you begin. Choose ONE journal article as your foundation. If you read an article and it is confusing, move on to the next one. Soon, you will find one that has a lit review all about competitive advantage and managing diversity.

The lit review will tell all about research that has been done about the topic, and it will give you ideas. You MUST read many articles in order to get familiar with the lit review, and then you must choose ONE of those articles to use as a model while you write.

You can't avoid reading many articles. It is the only way to learn how to write one. If you need more help, read several articles and list them here. I'll take a look at some of them if I can, and we can talk about methods.

When you see an article you like, you may want to use the same research design. If you like an article that uses a case study approach, ask your teacher if you can use a case study approach.

Now I have spent a lot of time helping you, so I hope you will help some other people by commenting on their essays!! :-)

Student Talk / Looking for short writing exercise for beginner or elementary English learner [6]


Sounds like you need to google this:

"lesson plan" grade writing

That will get you about a bazillion lesson ideas.

:-)

Writing Feedback / Motherhood in Mother Courage (needs grammatical editing or any other critique) [5]

This is full of excellent material, but I want to criticize the way you introduce paragraphs...


I think it is never good to start with a statement of the obvious. You MUST make it intriguing in some way...

Start with this:
The unconditional love mothers feel towards their children is a perpetually unique notion, which tends to be idealized in literature.--- this is interesting!! It makes me think, "Yeah, it does get idealized..."

A fundamental concept of motherhood is giving birth to one' s child. --- here is another statement of the obvious. Don't do that! :-D Replace this with a topic sentence that tells the main idea of the paragraph.

Providing protection and nurturing a child also come as a natural maternal responsibility for women. --- not relevant to the essay. The essay is about the literature, not about obvious truths of motherhood.

If you do topic sentences right, the reader could understand your whole essay by reading just the topic sentences. Many people take this approach that you take and say something general and obvious. This is a good topic sentence:

Through the subject of motherhood, Brecth manages to bring about a much more arcane thought of the general prioritization of various aspects of life.--- it should be followed by sentences that give examples to support the assertion.

From the colorful backgrounds of her children, Mother Courage was obviously a sexually active and frivolous individual with multiple partners.

Undergraduate / Trying to get accepted into an ACT Academy [12]


This is not relevant. Be careful not to make your parents feel like you judge them or compare yourself to them. Doing a degree program is not like winning a race or anything, it's just one of the moves you can make in life. Oftentimes, the people with the most wisdom have not completed a degree.

What is this ACT academy? Do they help prepare for the SAT too?

I think you are doing very well. The thing to do is come up with a memorable theme for the essay. Why do this kind of program? Because you know that your time is best spent enhancing your ability. You need to maximize your preparedness because you are so hell bent on achieving success in the field you choose... you need to have as many options open to you as possible, because what you do is who you are, and you want to find meaning through expertise and scholarship.

paragraph 1: introduce theme ... body paragraphs give examples... conclusion paragraph reaffirms theme.

:-)

Graduate / 'It wasn't a quick decision' - SOP for a Master Degree in Chemical Engineering part-time [6]

Simple is good, but the idea is to keep each component simple so that you can convey many powerful ideas to the reader.

This essay is respectable and impressive. A way to improve it would be to make it enjoyable to read by adding a theme to intrigue the reader. You establish a theme at the start:

My decision to apply for master degree in chemical engineering was not a quick decision. It has been built over a long time and deep thinking and searching.

Take inspiration from this idea, and add some conclusion sentences to the ends of your paragraphs. Especially add to that last paragraph. Add sentences that mention how these things you did are part of a long process that brought you to a place of CERTAINTY and DETERMINATION.

Show how your enrollment in this school is based on a process of refinement -- the refinement of your ideas about how to involve yourself with meaningful work.

Writing Feedback / An invention we'd be better off without - essay critique [4]


What is unstructured voice? structure means to have topic sentences that tell the main idea of paragraphs and support the thesis statement. That is sometimes important, sometimes not. For admission, structure is important.

Use dashes in this situation:
I suppose if I could pick an invention the world would be better off without, I'd have to choose -- in a squeaker over Crocs, Hummers, and pre-ripped jeans -- the television.

And the god damn commercials that come on--- Be careful, "Goddamn" is super offensive to some people because of religious sentiment. If you do use it, I think it is one word, not two. :-)

haha oh wow, this is the most profanity I have seen in an admissions essay. It is fine in the practice essay but not in the real one.

You have a GREAT writing style and a promising future for sure. I see that what you meant by "unstructured voice" was "informal tone." I like it. However, when you do the real essay choose a topic that expresses your plan for th future. So if you plan on being a dentist, write about the folly of the invention of soda. If you plan to be an activist for peace, write about the folly of inventing the gun.

Your goal is to show that you have a clear plan and that you are hell bent on achieving it. That is what inspires readers. :-)

Writing Feedback / "a freshly mowed lawn in summer" - Descriptive Senses Composition [7]


It depends on the teacher's expectations. If the teacher is trying to teach a particular method, follow it. Otherwise, I like your original intro. It is okay for a descriptive essay to have some movement through the scene -- a narrative element.

I like the original intro more.

The persistent puppy is panting, and every now and then--- this alliteration is too obvious. I don't know how to explain what I mean... alliterations should seem coincidental, not forced. :-)

If you still want to improve it, add 2 sentences to the conclusion paragraph to talk about what the arrival of summer "represents." Go beyond description and allow it to spill into a bit of speculation about what all of this means, what the season symbolizes for someone in the human condition.

Writing Feedback / Mohammad and Nour - help me my comparison/contrast essay [7]


Well, you had asked how to make it interesting to read. The way to do that is to create tension. Create tension by raising a question, and then provide RESOLUTION by answering it. Raise a question in the reader's mind.

This requires you to get inspired with an idea. For now, just understand what it means to create tension and then resolve it. Later today, you might get a great idea about how to raise a question in your intro and resolve it for the reader in the conclusion.

:-)

Poetry / T. S. Eliot's The Waste Land--Sex and love [7]

I would change this so that the first sentence expresses the idea of the paragraph:
The typist readies her house for a young male guest in the third part of The Waste Land, The Fire Sermon, and there is clearly no love involved in this encounter. Once the "young man carbuncular" leaves, the young girl...--- do you see how this makes it so that the first sentence expresses the idea of the paragraph?

They are only a clattering, mindless, loveless machine, churning out exploitation.--- Yep, I do like it! All except for the last word. They do not churn out exploitation. Exploitation is taking place, and in the process they churn out... what?

:-)

Cleopatra, if we assume that the woman represented is referring to Cleopatra, demonstrates several abuses of sex in A Game of Chess.
(sounds nicer)

If you don't get an A on this I will be surprised!!! :-)

Writing Feedback / Addressing the one or two problems of not utilizing your Course Textbooks [3]


I can't say I blame those kids!! The text books cost hundreds of dollars, and sometimes the prof does not even use it.

Textbooks contain so much more content than one teacher can cover on their her own.

Yes, this essay lacks inspiration, but it is not your fault! You have been assigned to write an essay about something that is rather mindless, I think. Then again, maybe you can find a unique approach...

You could write this as an essay about the dynamic process that involves three parts: teacher, student, text book. You could write a beautiful essay about this meaningful process that is as old as academia itself. Do not stick to the simple and obvious stuff. Allow yourself to write an essay about the very process of education, and show that an education without text books is incomplete.

Try starting with an outline of the essay with the major points you want to make. :-)

Writing Feedback / Mercy & Grace - eternal life, eternal punishment [7]


I'm afraid I don't know the grading criteria!! Every person interprets criteria differently. I don't know how to grade these, but maybe somebody else does!

Graduate / PhD Statement of Research Interests: physicist going into Neuroscience [13]

:-) haha nice...

Writing Feedback / IELTS TOPIC: Telecommuting ; GOOD OR BAD? [5]

As a consequence, the productivity will improve as people can shun avoid the long tedious hours spent on traveling . This also offers..

However, there are still some drawbacks lurking behind. --- good sentence!!Good use of the word lurk.

You write very, very well. I think it will be better if you lengthen the intro and conclusion, the most meaningful parts of the essay.

:-)

Writing Feedback / In order to maximize the efficiency of our scientists we should put few restricts on them [2]

You need more practice with singular/pluraland with verb tense.

to some extent

... some things which is so are important to this subject.

However, the statement has ignored some very important (...) freedom to our scientists , otherwise, it will cause ...

... whether it will damage the human rights ...

Whether Should our government spend ...

... as much as freedom as possible to our scientists . However we should also consider the aftermath and other ...----- this is a good sentence!!!!

Keep practicing!! Look at other essays here at EF and help people find their errors, and ask those people to look for errors in your essay. I hope you check out essayforum.com/ef-contributor-page

I have so much respect for out bilingual writers.

Essays / Structure of a Personal Narrative Essay (gender and culture influence) [5]


Sounds like you understand composition! That is great.


This is like what I was thinking. Can you link the stories together as parts of one ongoing story?

I really can't predict if it will work or not, but I can't wait to see it! I am intrigued.

Writing Feedback / Let's face the music! ; School Uniforms Persuasive Essay [8]

I remember when I was in middle school. I did not wear the cutest clothes or keep up with the current fashion trends and was often left out when my friends were talking about clothes.

Even though it is important for students to be able to express their individuality, uniforms should be adopted in some public schools because they lowers disciplinary referrals and helps students focus on learning.---- this is a nicely stated thesis!!

a school is not a fashion show.--- very good point!! I love this essay. Also, I sort of agree with it. I guess uniforms are good sometimes and bad sometimes. But I really like your argument.

Writing Feedback / Essay: Learning to live with Big Brother [2]


This is a case where you try to say too much in just a few sentences. I would take out the dictatorship part and give it its own sentence:

Since no one really knows where such development will led our world, controversy over modern state possibly becoming a new kind of dictatorship is arising. Some are concerned that the nation is possibly becoming a new kind of dictatorship...

...and go on to really thoroughly soak the reader in the idea you are introducing.

Your essay will be about one big idea. It is not the same as the article's idea. Your response to the article is your own unique contribution.

Considering the interferance of new surveillance technologies in our lives, the risk of our life to become another "Truman Show" is increasing.---- here is another idea that I think requires more explanation than you give it. Either leave it out or write a whole paragraph about the Truman Show. I don't really think that movie is the best example of what you are saying... it was about commercialism I think.

This is thoughtful and interesting!! I hope you will add some of your own unique insights rather than just reporting what the article said. Give YOUR response to it.

Also, develop that intro paragraph a lot, so that the reader understands exactly what point you are making. Develop the intro so that the last sentence captures your unique contribution to this ongoing discussion, among scholars, about info collection.

Research Papers / Help thinking of several points for my Death Penalty Research paper! [5]


Hi Sarah, this will make it difficult. Using this theme will make it so that your whole essay is based on only one point.

The thing to do is write a few paragraphs about what each author says and then let your thesis take form after you have written lots of paragraphs. Always be willing to adjust your thesis at the end, because that allows for you to improve your perspective through research.

I recommend this one a lot:
"No, capital punishment is not morally required: deterrence, deontology, and the death penalty."(response to article by Cass R. Sunstein and Adrian Vermeule)

That article, if you can find it, has an introduction that outlines the whole argument as it usually takes form.

Research Papers / How do I write a research paper on the cultural foods of America, China & Mexico [4]

Take an approach you can get excited about. This stuff doesn't need to be boring. You can make a theme for your paper: "searching for the similarities." That is just the first idea that comes to mind for me. "In this paper, the cultural characteristics of American, Mexican, and Chinese cuisine are explored, and special attention is given to the the task of identifying the similarities among them so that cultural differences can be overcome via cuisine."

or

"In this paper, the cultural characteristics of American, Mexican, and Chinese cuisine are explored, and special attention is given to the ways in which the cultural characteristics are reflected in the cuisine.

DON'T FORGET: American cuisine consists of cuisine from other places. Besides the hot dog and apple pie, and maybe fast food, I don't know what kind of "American" cuisine exists... maybe I am wrong, though!!! :-)

Writing Feedback / TOEFL:children should begin their formal education at a very early age [3]

You write very well, better every time. You don't have many mistakes, so I want to talk about STYLE:
Add a thesis sentence to that first paragraph. Maybe you think this is a thesis statement:
Actually, each point of view has some strong reasons to support their position. However, it is not meaningful enough to make the essay worth writing. Add a sentence that will share an interesting insight that came from doing this comparison.

Then, start paragraph 2:
People who believe that sending children to the school at a very early age is good they think that it ...

... will gain the habit to study. They will learn that study is an important thing in life. They will have the ...

The other point of view, that contradicts the first one, admits that young children have to take all the advantage from their childhood. They have to spend most of their time playing in order to feel the happiness , the comfort and the enthusiasm of life. However, spending most of their time playing prevents children from having any regrets about their childhood.

You write without many errors, but I think this sentence is a logical fallacy. Many people shirk their studies during childhood and have regrets, while others who study hard have fewer regrets. Students should become "lifelong learners," and the only way to achieve that is for us to instill in them an appreciation for study... so that study and enjoyment become one thing.

Because they have spend all the necessary time to play, and they will be plenty ready to study. ...--- again, I don't think play prepares students for study. Study prepares them for study. :-)

In my opinion, children should begin their formal education at a very early age.--- oh, I see that we agree.

In the childhood, children should have some equilibrium in what they do. --- wow, very good ending!!

Writing Feedback / My intro paragraph: a cause and effect essay on getting my first hamster [4]

All the "she" in this sentence is confusing and distracting:
She would talk about how cute she was and how she would bite people she did not get along with, like her twin sister.
She would talk about how cute she the little creature was and how it would bite people she did not get along with, like her Lauren's twin sister.

Hagertis and yuvly, this is a great thread because of you. Thanks!!

Take out the part about it looking like a raccoon. The paragraph needs to be about one solid idea. This paragraph is about your friend causing you to become interested in having a hamster. You can describe what it looks like in a body paragraph.

End this paragraph with a sentence like this: Because of my friend's influence, I became the owner of a pet that taught me two important things: animals need a lot of care and attention; like humans, hamsters have feelings and are loyal when treated very well.

paragraph 2:
Around my eleventh birthday I asked my mom if I could get a hamster. She said yes, so a little before my birthday and she took me to Gaiser Pets to pick one out . The one that I chose was white and had black patterns on his body. One pattern got to me, which is the reason I chose him. He had the pattern of a raccoon. Since it appealed to me so much I even named him Maskious...

:-)

Writing Feedback / Essay:Studying at home by using technology or studying at traditional schools? [2]


College students already do!

...and that they are irreplaceable, but others,in contrast,deem ...------ I just added some words to improve the clarity.

... deem studying at home by using technology as the premier choice, a nd that is also my point.There are numerous reasons why I choose this method of studying,and I would explore only a few of the most important ones here. ---- very nice introduction.

The main reason Why why I agree with ...
even better:
The main reason for my agreement with...

...always work under the guide of teachers -- especially when you face up to problems in study. In school, you don't have to worry about problems, as the teacher will show you how...

In contrast, at home students use technology to study knowledge subjects, and that means they have to find information on their own, which is more effective than when they are provided it.---- Good point! That is called "active learning" or "cognitive engagement of the learning material."

Additionally,knowledge in traditional schools is limited to textbooks, whereas just a click of mouse you can access websites with full of information in any field. In a word,from reasons I've mentioned above,you might get the idea that I'd prefer studying at home using technology,which I think is the best method of study. helping me study better.

Well, I disagree!! :-D In a traditional classroom, computers are used. In a traditional classroom, teachers try to achieve active learning. In a traditional classroom, teachers often require students to find the answers themselves. So, traditional classrooms have everything online classrooms have and one more thing: a teacher!

Dissertations / PhD Topic Help on Database Management Systems [5]

Hello! I do not know this subject well, but I hope other people will have good ideas for you. I want to tell you that you will find your ideas if you read 5 recent articles published in professional journals. Each article will probably have a "Literature Review" which summarizes ALL of the major research that has been done lately, in recent years. Therefore, you can find out what will be most helpful if you read some lit reviews. :-)

Each time you read a lit review, you will see an example of some work that someone else did recently, and you will get ideas about how you can contribute in your own unique way.

I will ask some people to visit your thread.

Writing Feedback / College education: available to all or to only good students? [4]


I thank you, too, Zhang, for helping to make EF an excellent forum.

...education was still a far-fetched idea for many people, nowadays anybody can receive education. However, some people ...

...where students have chance to gain experience before entering real society.

You do not have many errors!
This is not an error, just my idea to improve clarity: Finally, it is not certain that a student who does well in high school will do well in higher education.

It requires students to have flexible studying methods.

Students need to spend much time on self-study, while teachers just play a small role.

Therefore, not struggling students can adapt to new studying environment. And, there is no promise that every good high school student going to a college will graduate successfully. Nam, my close friend, is a good example. He was ...

Subsequently, he had to drop out. Thus, in this case, higher ...

Very good job. You write beautifully in English, with only small mistakes, and despite your mistakes your intelligence is obvious.

Zhang and Handonguyen, Please check out essayforum.com/ef-contributor-page/

Writing Feedback / Hotels in Taipei, Taiwan: need help on transitions between paragraphs. [3]


Well, I was thinking that this is one of those situations where less is more. I would do this:
There are 35,000 hotels in Taipei. the largest city in Taiwan.
A short sentence like this is like a punch to the reader's nose. It captures attention.

Also, when you explain every detail it lulls the reader into a passive state of mind. When you don't explain every detail, the reader's mind will become...

Well, you know what I mean.

Also, I think that last paragraph is too short. You can add one more sentence to mention some benefits the reader can have by choosing the best hotel.

:-)