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Posts by sharfina
Name: sharfina21
Joined: Dec 1, 2015
Last Post: Feb 5, 2016
Threads: 35
Posts: 21  
From: indonesia
School: brawijaya university

Displayed posts: 56 / page 2 of 2
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sharfina   
Jan 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 - nowadays people feel hard to change their sedentary lifestyle as they live in busy time [2]

some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be

discuss both these views and give your own opinion


Today's issue is society health. As such, It is believed that having a healthy lifestyle is extremely hard in this modern age. However, this is not always true. Some perceive that if they have intention to keep their body healthy and fit, creating a healthy lifestyle will be easy.

Apparently, in this current era, virtually people feel hard to change their sedentary lifestyle as they live in busy time. A brief illustration of this is 80 % of citizens in Brenes, Spanyol spending their time working in a 40-hour timetable, and this eventually leads to them buying ready made-meals, such as KFC and McD since they do not have any time to cook fresh meals. As a result, the obesity rate among those increased dramatically to 50 % from 2000 to 2015 cited from Times News in November 2015. Another evidence is state-of-the-art technology. For example, 50 % of people in China spend 6 hours a day sitting in front of sophisticated computer or their gadget. This conditions give rise to them lack of physical exercises. This behaviours effect on increase heart attack disease in China in 2015, exceed 30%. It is clear that there are many obstacles that people perceive to get healthy body.

Apart from previous discussion, in fact people can tackle this problem easily as well as gaining a healthy lifestyle. All of this depend on their self-awareness to keep their body fit. First of all, people should aware about long-term impact on their body after consuming junk-food. Local inhabitants are easy to access healthy-web and they can order it for their daily menu when they do not have any time to buy food in their busy time. The second, taking exercises regularly is the most successsful way to keep their body stay fit. In globalisation age, people can harness technology to become their instructor when they do exercises. Taking Finland for the example, 70 % of company allow their employees doing physical exercises in the middle of their rush hour by online instructor. Therefore, having a healthy lifestyle is easy for all of people.

The aforementioned evidence shows that having a healthy lifestyle in contemporary era is very difficult. However, the converse would appear to be true for others. As it depends on ourselves, people should have a willingness to stay fit and healthy. It is imperative that, gaining healthy body could be achieved by high motivation.
sharfina   
Jan 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: travelling to a foreign country or watching documentaries? [4]

A great deal of individuals assumeASSUMES that by looking atON television programmes or movies...
... learning from the locals is more better than just watching ...

... international tourist can save THEIR time fromFOR long journey because there are many ...
For example, lots of TV's show offer traveling story of someoneWHAT DO YOU MEAN? in different countries. Furthermore, it is believed by some that byTHAT staying at living room, they can getCAN ACQUIRE more knowledge without ...
sharfina   
Dec 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / We can't live without doctors as well as without inventors, so we must appreciate their efforts. [4]

Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

In the age of globalization, science technology and health sector are the most essential fields. However, inventors and doctors are the people who play a pivotal role in these areas. According to people, they think that doctors are more important than inventors to society lives. I firmly believe that doctors and inventors give equally good impact on the lives of human beings. I will shade light on my reasons on the following paragraphs.

Doctors have the ability to cure many diseases since they train many years to acquire knowledge that ordinary people do not know about it. For instance, doctors have responsibility eradicating contagious diseases, so when people get serious illness, doctor will give some suggestions and look after them until they feel better. Just imagine, if there is no doctor in this planet, perhaps people will continously suffer in the light of their malignancies, even it makes people pass away since no one have the ability to heal their diseases. Thus, it can be said that human's lives is determined by doctors since they are the only one who have knowledge about diseases.

However, inventors increase quality of people's life since with their brilliant notions, they created useful technology which is boardening people's knowledge such as Internet. In addition, iventors have ability making humans' lives much longer as they discovered advanced technology that help doctors finishing their project in healing cutthroat diseases, such as surgery machine. Subsequently, inventors make society lives more convenient as they invent equipments that complete humans' life, such as sewing machine, lamp, and handphone. There is no doubt that inventors make an immense change for human beings.

To sum up, doctors and inventors have the same role for making people's life to be better. Afterwards, they have their own eminence. It is imperative that we cannot live without doctors as well as inventors, so we must appreciate their efforts.
sharfina   
Dec 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / Cause and Effect of stress on college student [3]

The American Institute of Stress explains that ' stress is not a useful term for scientists becausesince it is a highly subjective phenomenon that defies definition'"...

... 'Stress can be definesdefined as the way in which your mind and body react to situation that is newto new situation , which is threatening and exciting. Alsodo not use alsoin the beginning of sentencefrom the entire training process, maintaining a good academic record, maintaining a social lifeIN ONE SENTENCE MUST BE S+V
sharfina   
Dec 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / TASK 1- TOOTH DECAY - dental problem illustrated on the line chart [NEW]

The line chart illustrates the dental problem with time elapsed after consumptions of fruit sugar, cane sugar, and honey. Overall, it can be obviously seen that intakes of sweet products produce the acid in mouth and thereby decreasing of pH level. High level of acid, epecially pH level under 5.5, occurs dental decay.

By far,after 5 minutes consuming it, the highest risk of dental decay is intake of cane sugar,representing pH 3.5, while the lowest risk of dental problem is honey, accounting for pH 4.75. On the other hand, fruit sugar consumption results pH 4.25.

Moreover, the risk time also differs in these three products, which refers the risk time of dental decay. Sugar cane produces the highest level of acidity with double prolonged period of stay than honey consumption which is 30 minutes, while honey produces less possibility of tooth decay with the shortest period of risk in which just around 12 minutes. Besides, consumption of fruit sugar experiences 20 minutes.



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sharfina   
Dec 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / My half in my school - information about a classmate - we are close eachother [4]

Hi Mimuska.. let me give some grammar corrections..

Offof all my close friends I chose my classmate Radka whom I have known since when I was in kindergarten.I was 3 or 4 years old and i was 3 or 4 years old .

We always laugh together and do some stuff .. for example, I throw peels at her and she throw peelsthem back at me.It'sit was very funny.
sharfina   
Dec 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / IN GROUPS or ALONE? The way of study depends on students and the lessons. Task 2 [3]

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Education is window of the world. Owing to the fact that young generations have to study not only formal education but also informal education. According to people, study in groups is more effective for pupils to acquire knowledge, while others think that self-study is better for them.

I personally state that both of views have their own benefit in boardening their science.
There are some lessons that some students cannot study by group since lessons need more concentration. For example, survey in Jakarta, Indonesia proves that pupils get high score in logical lessons, such as mathematics and physics, when they have their own time to understand the subjects themselves. Thus, self-study is absolutely essential for particular subjects.

However, many school suggests their students to study in group as it can improve pupil's skill. Afterwards, it make them more active for solving their problems together with their friends. Moreover, study in group teach student about moral values such as tolerance and sharing. For instance, students must appreciate other students who have less understanding about some lessons and they must teach them until they get it. In addition, students who frequently study together have many experiences since the often share about their problems each other. There is no doubt that study in groups has enhanced their academic skill and soft skill.

To sum up, the way of study depends on students and the lessons. They have their own style to study. It is imperative that if the subject need more concentration, it will be better studying alone, yet if the lessons need more interaction and cooperation, study in groups is the best way.
sharfina   
Dec 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / HYBRID VEHICLE SALES. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features [NEW]

The chart below gives information on the global sale of hybrid vehicle between 2006 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

P.155 Student's book

A breakdown of the figure for global hybrid vehicle sales enggaged in three different countries: Japan, US, and other countries, from 2006 to 2009 is presented in bar chart. Overall, it can be obviously seen that the total sales of vehicles which use both fuel and electricity are more doubled from the first sales, in 2006, to the final sales, 2009. Besides, the bar chart shows marked contrast in trend between Japan's sales and US's sales.

Moving to more detailed analysis, the number of sales in US was the highest over the following period, yet there was a fluctuation. Those of sales in US was around 260,000. While 2007 experienced a gradual increase to 350,000, there was a steady fall until 2009 to roughly 280,000. On the other hand, the number of sales in Japan much lower than those of sales in US, yet there was a gradual increase from 2006 to 2009. Which of sales in Japan stood at 51,000 in 2006. Afterwards, there was a steady rise to around 90,000 in 2008. Surprisingly, 2009 saw a jump to approximately 330,000 in the level of sales. However, the level of sales in the rest of the world stood at 51,000 in 2006. Subsequently, there was a steady rise to roughly 120,000 in 2009.
sharfina   
Dec 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / TASK 1- Online shopping sales in New Zealand enggaged in four distinct retail sectors [2]

The pie charts illustrate the shares of online shopping sales in New Zealand enggaged in four distinct retail sectors: travel, film/music, books, and clothes between 2003 and 2013. Overall, it can be obviously seen that books sector was always surpassed by travel and film/music, yet over the following period, the greatest change was film/music.

By far, in 2003, the largest proportion of online sales was occupied by travel with 36%, followed by clothes and film/music, accounting for 24 percent and 21 percent respectively. The opposite was experienced in books sector, representing only 19 percent.

A closer look at the pie charts show a dramatic increase of the share from 21 percent to 33 percent, film/music had accounted for the largest amount of sales, while books sector increased slighty by 3 percent. On the other hand, those of sales for travel and clothes sector had declined to 29 percent and 16 percent respectively.



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sharfina   
Dec 5, 2015
Writing Feedback / TASK 1- the graph below gives information about the prefered leisure activities of Australian kids [2]

A breakdown of the figure for free-time activities that Australian children enjoy is presented in the bar chart. Overall, it can be obviously seen that, both boys and girls from five to fourteen years old prefer to watch video or TV, play computer games and ride bike in their leisure activity.

Watching TV or videos is by far the most popular free-time activity listed in the chart among the Australian Cildren who are in the range age 5 to 14 year - representing 100 % of all boys and girls. Afterwards, the second most favorite leisure activity among those is playing computer games which are more boys prefer spending time in it than girls, roughly 80 % for boys and 60 % for girls. Another activity that children delight in their leisure time is bike riding in which boys prefer it than girls as more than 75% boys do it as well as girls less than 60%. A closer look at the diagram shows that girls have more involvement in art and craft than boys, almost 60% girls involved in these activity while boys less than 40 % do it. The least popular activity among those is playing skateboarding or rollerblading, showing around 40 % for boys and 23 % for girls.



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sharfina   
Dec 5, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS-TASK 2: Young people say that traveling to different countries benefits them and the society. [6]

... search travelling advantages and exploit exploiting them.

I strongly firmly assent that travelling ...

Furthermore, they increase their capability tohow mange in managing their finances and plantheir future future plan independently.

Acquiring new language is also a significantbenefit because a significant benefit as well since it assists ...

... so they prefer to HAVE experience OF new items.
sharfina   
Dec 3, 2015
Writing Feedback / A simple device for changing sea water to a drinking water - purifying process. IELTS [2]

Essay topics: The diagram below shows a simple device for changing sea water to drinking water.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


A diagram presents process purifying sea water to be drinking water using a simple method. Overall, it can be obviously seen that, the process use a simple principle of distillation in which two elements are separated each other as effect of heat.

The device, which floats on the surface of sea water, consists of the rubber tub, the drinking water collector, and the plastic container. It can float on the sea water because it has lighter density than the density of sea water. After that, on the bottom side of device, there is a hole in order to collect sea water which will be converted to drinking water.

The successful process ,interestingly, only happen in the morning until afternoon since this equipment using the heat from the sun to operate well. The process begins when the bottom of container is partly filled by sea water. Afterwards, sunlight passes through the dome as well as heating sea water. After that, directly, it evaporates and condenses the wate which is inside the dome. As a result, water flows down into rim of the container and passes the rubber tube into drinking water collector. Suprisingly, the water, which is free-salt, is ready to drink.

To sum up, the diagram shows how the basic equipment can be used to produce clean water in a just few stages.



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sharfina   
Dec 3, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Renewable Energy Has Some Drawbacks, But People Need It To Protect The Earth [2]

nonrenewable energy

However, to harnessing this alternative energy, that can be gotten from nature and used to generate infrastructure, requires high cost and complex process --> utilizing this alternative energy, which is obtained from nature, .... to build

nonrenewable energy non-renewable energy
as vital resources of flues fuels
substitute of fossil flues fuels
sharfina   
Dec 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / The information presents what visitors claimed to dislike or like on the Fairmont Island - IELTS [2]

The pie charts give information about what visitors claimed to dislike about and things that people liked about of Fairmont Island according to tourists' opinions. Overall, it can obviously be seen that while visitors enjoy the residents on the island, high living cost is the main reason which might hinder tourists from visiting.

Whilst the largest proportion of drawbacks goes on living expenditure, representing more than two fifths of the total, the quality of food is merely one in twenty of the total. Surprisingly, weather condition as well as leisure activity are two things of problem which are too interesting to abandon since both of them cannot be well-satisfied, the former accounts for a fifth and the latter is more by one in ten.

Another pie chart shows four distinct plus icons that tourists enjoy spending time there. While the main reason visitor visiting the island is based on people there, showing two-fifths of all total, the second major cause is the scenery, which is only 3 percent less.

In contrast, the proportion of culture and good living places are a minority, 12 percent goes on the cultural reason and 11 percent for good accomodation.



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