Essays / Research on infrastrutural decay and national development in the role of banks [6]

As with the others posting regararding this essay:

Once you have your research organized and have a good idea of what you want in the content, I can help you with an outline, and then further along, with editing and organization.

Let us know when you have your content ready!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Research on infrastrutural decay and national development in the role of banks [6]

Once you have your research organized and have a good idea of what you want in the content, I can help you with an outline, and then further along, with editing and organization.

Let us know when you have your content ready!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Scholarship / Application - why you think you should get a textbook scholarship [2]

Excellent work; I almost found myself applauding at your conclusion! Just a few mechanical errors, but I think you've done a wonderful job here. You have included enough details to let your reader(s) know your situation; you have a grabby hook and a very well tied up conclusion. Again, a wonderful job and I wish you the best of luck!

Essays / Satirical essay - controversial issue in Health Sciences [4]

Good morning :)

Does the institution assign you a topic to write your essay on, or is it just a general "Why I Want to Go to School Here" kind of thing?

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / Desbribing a person - Julian, my soul mate [6]

Good morning Débora.

You are very welcome. Whenever you need help, go ahead and post here, and I'll do my best!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Letters / My dream university - admission appeal [5]

Excellent work! You have done a fine, organized job of explaining the situation here, which is exactly what they will be looking for. I wish you the best of luck; let me know what they say!

Essays / help with an esay on "Youth Perceptions of Human Security in Africa" [16]

Good morning!

Well, it seems as if you have a pretty broad topic. I suggest you start your research with an internet search using your title as keywords. From the basic information you gather there, you can dig deeper into other areas, such as the current security atmosphere in Africa overall, or security precautions/measures taken (if any) taken by the African government. You can focus on one specific area, such as South Africa, or a certain city, such as Lagos, to help make research a little easier. You can also check out the official websites of the African government(s), to make sure your sources are credible.

Once you have a good idea of what you want your content to include and you have a fair amount of research on your subject, we can begin an outline.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Faq, Help / Is it safe to post my essay here? Or should I be worried about Plagiarism? [175]

If you change your mind, I'll be happy to look it over for you.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / the way of nominating homeroom teacher [4]

Good morning :)

I see what you mean. In the States we say "assigned" a lot. How about "assigning" or "delegating", or "electing"; probably more apt, "choosing" or "choose"? As in, "Last year, one high school introduced a new way of delegating students' homeroom teachers."

"Last year, one high school introduced a new way of choosing students' homeroom teachers."

When we say "nominate" that person or thing is up for some kind of award or they/it have won some sort of contest, as in "So-and-So has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize"; that is the connotation that goes along with this word.

You could also use assignment, as in "Therefore, this should be encouraged and adopted as a new alternative to assignment."

Anything along these lines would be appropriate.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Faq, Help / Why is my topic / thread deleted? [78]

This topic was erased because you already posted it here under another topic heading; as such there was no need for two postings.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / The beauty of an individual - essay [6]

If you have run a plagiarism check yourself then you know what is coming back as copied. The solution is either to summarize/paraphrase the material in your own words, or cite the information properly as someone else's. The problem is probably largely to do with your lack of citation.

Undergraduate / Your family history, culture, or environment influenced - how it influenced [3]

I think you have very good reasons for which to attend UCF; it looks like you have done your homework and know what you want out of a university, and it seems like UCF is the place. You could expand a little as to which program interests you, and what you plan to do with the education once you graduate. That would help the school get a better feel for who you are and where you plan on going, as well as increase your word count.

Writing Feedback / The beauty of an individual - essay [6]

Good morning.

When your paper is checked with the plagiarism checker, it comes back that large amounts are word for word from other sources. These either must be changed or properly cited as someone else's work.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / The beauty of an individual - essay [6]

Good evening.

Large parts of this essay have been plagiarized from various other websites. Please ensure that your work is 100% original or it is properly cited. Once this has been done, you may post again; until then we will be unable to assist you.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Letters / My dream university - admission appeal [5]

Good afternoon.

I would start off your appeal by thanking them for taking time to reexamine their decision. I would then take the opportunity of their attention to explain that your high school and SAT scores were good. I would then explain exactly what it was that caused the dip in your college GPA, and then explain how you were able to rectify this and ensure that your grades will not suffer because of it again. For example, if your grades dropped because of bad study habits, you could explain what you did to correct that and then go on to tell them that you now know what to do so that it won't happen again; i.e. I got organized and improved my time management skills so that when I'm in a time crunch again, my grades will not suffer because I know how to get through it. You could then go on to tell them how your grades have improved since, and let them again know why it is you want to work hard and attend their university. If what you think the problem was is the problem, once they see that you know how to correct it, you should get better results.

Once you get a rough draft, you can post it here and then I can help you polish it.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / curriculum vitae - my first essay [5]

Ah, I see. How about rewriting that statement to something like "I've grown up, passing through both elementary and secondary school" or "I have been through both elementary and secondary school", or something like that, to clarify for your reader.

Writing Feedback / curriculum vitae - my first essay [5]

"I was born in 1984 in a small town in Switzerland. I've grown up passing through elementary school and upper stage.What does this mean? What is "passing through"? Then I started an apprenticeship in the IT sector. While I have been an apprentice I recognized that I'm not really a technician. Ever since I can remember I've been interested in languages and I've always thought that I'm talented in them. Refrain from using casual contractions in formal academic writing.

You've got a good start here!

Graduate / essay for campus placement on "HOW YOUR COLLEGE ENABLED YOUR CARRER" [3]

Good morning :)

I suggest starting with an outline. Decide on two or three things that you want to tell your audience about; for instance, what positive things have happened to you in your career as a result of your college choices? Once you have these two or three main pillars to hold up your essay, give each of those main points one fact or supporting detail. For instance, have you been offered better jobs because of your education, or do you have more opportunities because of it?

In your conclusion, take a couple of sentences and recap over what you wrote previously, and save your thesis statement and your introduction until after you have written the essay. After all, how can you write an introduction for a paper that hasn't been written yet? :)

Once you have your rough draft, feel free to post it here and I can edit it.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Research Papers / Starting my euthanasia research paper and my topic? [5]

Good morning :)

Euthanasia is a very vast topic; it would help you to narrow it down a little bit. What type of paper are you to write? Is it an opinion piece, a research paper, etc.?

Consider looking at euthanasia in relation to something else, as this will help you write a more effective paper. How long does it need to be? If your topic is too large for your word count, you won't be able to get any depth to the paper. Perhaps something such as euthanasia in a certain geographical region, or during a specific time period; euthanasia and the military, or as a social "solution" used by dictators, etc.

You can start your research by just doing an internet search using the keyword "euthanasia"; it will undoubtedly bring up millions of sites, but it can help you narrow or specialize the topic of your paper, as well as give you an idea as to what materials are out there.

You can also check with your academic advisor; he or she may be able to help you with on-campus research resources such as the campus library, or other materials.

Once you have your content ideas, go ahead and post here and we can take the next step.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Absurd elements of absurd theatre in waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett [3]

Good morning.

I suggest you begin your search on the internet. You can use keywords "absurd elements of absurd theatre in waiting for godot by Samuel Beckett"; quite a bit of information results.

You can also check with your academic advisor; he or she may be able to help you use campus resources such as the campus library, or other research sources.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / "Teenagers nowadays have adopted a consumerist lifestyle." [5]

You are welcome!

I do think your essay is relevant to the topic; you answer the prompt with sound examples. The only thing that could help your arguments become more solid is to find some kind of research that supports your assertions. For example, where did you find the figures about how much the average family makes? That would be a good opportunity, and needs to be cited.

Writing Feedback / "Teenagers nowadays have adopted a consumerist lifestyle." [5]

With unlimited access to the Internet, television, and foreign magazines, teenagers are more exposed to Western lifestyle than ever; and they adapt to changing trends as fast as a chameleon.

The $1,500 sweet-sixteen MTV-style birthday party in a five-stared hotel that Sarah, a student from a middle-class Singaporean family, had insisted on having does not seem anymore ostentatious.

Honestly, in this materialistic world, how many teenagers would choose to live a bland, frugal life to be called a " freak" in the student population?

Not very much this time! Good job!

Essays / An outline about SOFTBALL VS. BASEBALL [4]

I have given you the model to follow, as well as some suggestions for main points. It is now your responsibility to find the information you want to convey to your readers and fill in the blanks. We are here to provide you with assistance organizing and editing, not with filling in your content.

Essays / Help with PLA essay [4]

That sounds like a very good plan. Begin your research by doing an internet search for "Kolb Model" that will bring up information you can use to begin your outline. As you work through it, the process will make more sense. You can also search for "ELT" or experiential learning theory, which will help you understand Kolb's theory.

I hope this helps.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Help with PLA essay [4]

Good afternoon.

PLAs are Prior Learning Assessments; the length and frequency of them are up to the course/program instructor/director. They provide credit through learning from your coursework, training, any volunteer work you have done, and also your personal life. PLAs mainly focus on the combination of your coursework and these experiences to obtain your educational purposes, and usually measure the quality of your experiential learning using standards such as the Kolb Model, which assumes that learning involves individual reflection upon experiences that illustrate certain ideas or theories likened to those found in traditional college classrooms, as grading guidelines. Some schools require additional PLA courses in preparation for the final project. The specifics of your project depend on your instructor and institution. Since each project is uniquely individual, there are no real formulas or models to rely on to create your own. I suggest contacting your academic advisor for further support options relating to your specific class; there may be study groups or centers on campus that can assist you further.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Poetry / Gone gone again by Edward Thomas [4]

Good afternoon.

The great thing about interpreting poetry is that there is not "right" or "wrong" answer; as long as you support your opinions, you are entitled to them. He could be talking about an old friend, who else is possible? What about the citizens of Blenheim? Your interpretation of dung is correct, therefore the bodies of the dead are decomposed. I am unfamiliar with the town of Blenheim; is it a rural community? Is it a small town? Is it a real place?

As far as the last question, you have already stated that the houses are empty; nothing grows there except wild grass. Therefore, these homes are shells of what they once were; places where life was contained and encouraged, but not anymore. Does this make their constructs more fragile? There is no one there to care for them anymore, and they are left to depend upon their own organic strengths alone to survive as long as they can. What are the ramifications of windows without panes of glass? These homes are shells of their former selves, you have already conceded that; would panes of glass make a difference in their defenses? Would they offer any kind of protection against intruders or the elements? How are the people the war left behind like these empty, helpless, standing shells; are their lives vacant, where no happiness can grow? Try to connect the two.

What are your thoughts on 7,8, and 9? Your immediate, without-too-much-thought, reflexive impressions? Remember, as long as you support your reasoning and tell me why, there is no right or wrong answer.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Undergraduate / Apple Inc. has maintained an image synonymous with stunning modern design, appealing usability [4]

Good afternoon.

17% of this essay is plagiarized from various websites. Ensure that you are properly citing your sources and then post again.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Research Papers / Marketing Paper: Golf Ball Product Category [4]

Good afternoon.

Make sure that any exchange of information on this topic is not posted to this forum; any exchange of such information needs to be done by more appropriate means such as email.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Grammar, Usage / I was wondering if my MLA Citation Style is correct [2]

Good morning :).

MLA citation is very straightforward and has specific rules for every kind of citation. There are many great websites out there that can help you find specific models; search the internet using keywords such as "MLA citation examples" and you will find tons.

It looks like you have a good grasp on your citation, just a few pointers. When you are citing from an author, use their last name and page number or paragraph number only. For instance, (Froude, James 330) should be formatted as (Froude 330). Now, since the Shulman citation is from an article found on a website, the inline citation for it should read (Schulman) with the last name only. As far as the (How Well Do Babies See? Eye Focusing Influences Infant Brain Development) citation, when you are working from an online article found with no author, you are right (except enclose the title in quotation marks and put the period outside the final ellipse); the same goes for the (How Well Do Babies See? Eye Focusing Influences Infant Brain Development) citation.

On your works cited page, make sure the titles of any paper-and-ink books used the titles are underlined (the site doesn't let us see or do that, so I'm not sure if you've got that). You have your alphabetical order right, make sure you are using hanging indents for those that are longer than one line.

Watch your caps:

" "What is Object Permanence?" C onjecture C orporation . 15..."

"Help your B aby E very D ay."

"Baby's F irst Y ear: Developmental M ilestones."

"Your F ive-M onth-O ld."

And your spaces:

Schulman , Lisa . Should be:
Schulman, Lisa.

These are just a few tips; I strongly suggest you find a website that you can model from, because I'm unsure as to what form all of your sources are. If you find a good site, you'll have no problem figuring out what format for each type of source. I think you've got a good handle on it, just watch the "little" things.

I hope this helps.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Poetry / Gone gone again by Edward Thomas [4]

Good morning.

Pastoral refers to rural or country life and its entrapments. A farmer is said to live in a pastoral landscape, or what we today call a rural landscape or "the country". In poetry, the pastoral form relies upon conveying rural life in a peaceful, idealized way; for example the nicer aspects of the lives of shepherds or dairy farmers.

The direct contrast of the pastoral form in this poem, is of course, the chaos of war. How can one live in perfect harmony with nature when the battle zone is all around?

I think the first stanza simply refers to time going by; I don't think you can really infer anything about the war as of yet, he is just commenting on how much time has gone by.

Can he be talking about the months he mentioned in the first stanza? Nothing much happened during that time, save for the fact that the time passed.

Who do you think the lost one was?
In the next stanza he begins to talk of the old abandoned house; where is it located? In the city or the country? What do the empty shells of the houses and the vulnerability of windows without panes say about those who have experienced war?

I hope this helps.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Essay intro; The injustices of women have been present throughout time [2]

"(indent) The injustices delivered upon women have been present throughout time. Now, entering our time and age, the attitude towards women has drastically changed in our society. Presently, we can firmly justify that women are equal to men. Women play roles in our society that no other time period has ever allowed, though in most parts of the world the equality of women ceases to exist. In Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns (title underlined), situated in the fatherland of Afghanistan, Mariam, a naďve young girl, is born into an unfavourable situation and lives a life of hardship . Living in an unjust society with a corrupt government which does not acknowledge the rights of women and has been torn by jihad (war), Mariam travels on a journey. She begins as a suppressed child who later becomes an harshly abused wife, but grows into a strong woman with a sturdy head on her shoulders.In correlation with feminist criticismI'm unsure as to what you mean here; you are appying feminist criticism to the text, so perhaps you can rewrite this to something like, "The liberation Mariam goes through, although reliant on Laila, is paramount to feminine criticism. Although an abused woman like Mariam, Laila provides the strength and inspiration Mariam requires to stand up for her freedom; not just herself and those she loves, but for all Afghan women."

I hope this helps.

Writing Feedback / "Promised end" the soul yearns for to be thwarted by the demand of history [3]

Good afternoon :)

It seems like it is a philosophical statement similar to "history is bound to repeat itself". Whatever the soul wants, if the actions of others are not heeded in order to get it, is bound to repeat their mistakes.

What do you think?

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / A day at the mall with/without kids - Descriptive essay [4]

Good morning :)

You do have a very descriptive essay here. My concern is that it is not describing both sides. The subject, as you posted it, is to write about a trip to the mall from the viewpoint of someone with kids and someone without them. I'm assuming that you didn't have kids on your trip :) with that said, it sounds like the other half of this essay is to write it from the viewpoint of one of those parents whose children are dragging them around the mall.

Make sure you stick with one tense and perspective throughout your essay; you slip from third into first, past into present, periodically throughout the paper. First person present tense is tricky, and if you choose to keep it, make sure you stay there throughout.

The conclusion seems a bit abrupt, but if you add in the second element of the viewpoint of the person with kids, you'll have more material to rework that ending.

Writing Feedback / Literary Analysis Comparative Essay - suggestions for improvement welcome! [6]

Good afternoon :)

Citation is tricky, but MLA is pretty straight forward and to the point. It looks like your first resource is an online article, but I couldn't find it at the address you listed; is it correct? Your article is from an online subscription service, and as such, here is the MLA model for the inline citation:

(Author's last name)

So, yours should look like this:

"The Misfit, withdrawing ever deeper into the dank recesses of his memories, hardly seems to hear her words, or even to notice her, until she mentions Jesus. And then, misjudging his reaction, she makes the great mistake of reaching out to touch him" (Bandy).

A works cited entry model would look like this:

Author's Last Name, First Name. "Article Title." Publication Name Publication date. Location date <webaddress>.

So, yours should look like this:

Bandy, Stephen C. "One of my babies": the misfit and the grandmother - in Flannery O'Connor's short story 'A Good Man Is Hard to Find.' Studies in Short Fiction NEEDS TO BE UNDERLINED Wntr 1996. 09 Jun. 2008 <findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2455/is_n1_v33/ai_19 638483/pg_1>.

As far as the second citation, it should be formatted inline as follows:

In O'Connor's "A Good Man is Hard to Find", the story begins with the family planning a trip to Florida. The grandmother is a manipulative woman. She does not value her life as it is, but longs for her life in the past. "People are certainly not nice like they used to be" (Author Last Name 455).

Works Cited as such:

First Edition:

Author Last Name, First. Name of Book NEEDS TO BE UNDERLINED . Publishing City, Publishing State: Name of Publishing Company, Year Published.

Subsequent Editions:

Author Last Name, First. Name of Book NEEDS TO BE UNDERLINED . Edition Number formatted as: 8th ed. or 3rd ed. or 2nd ed. etc. Publishing City, Publishing State: Name of Publishing Company, Year Published.

If you use your lit book as a source, you most definately have to cite it.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / Literary Analysis Comparative Essay - suggestions for improvement welcome! [6]

Good morning.

Well, your assertions are supported by the text, if you have made the corrections you should be properly cited, and your essay stays right on your thesis. I think everything fits together nicely. Your main points flow together nicely, your transitions are smooth, and the reader can follow your train of thought clearly.

Looks good to me!

Good luck!

Undergraduate / Karim, an American girlfriend and more - help with my admission essay [4]

Good morning.

If this is not an academic assignment for a class, unfortunately I cannot assist you. This site is for academic writing assistance. If this were an academic assignment, which you say it is not and make no reference to academics, the situation would be different. I suggest you seek paid writing services to fulfill your needs.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / Literary Analysis Comparative Essay - suggestions for improvement welcome! [6]

A detour taken by the family in "A Good Man is Hard to Find" wreaks havoc, while the wrong path taken by "Young Goodman Brown" leads himWho? to despair.

While different in many ways, both stories show how abandoning one's Christian faith can allow evil to creep into one's life .

She does not value her life as it is, but longs for her life in the past.

In Hawthorne's "Young Goodman Brown", Brown's wife, Faith, pleads with him not to leave on his journey, but he is determined to go his own way.

The Misfit, withdrawing ever deeper into the dank recesses of his memories, hardly seems to hear her words, or even to notice her, until she mentions Jesus. And then, misjudging his reaction, she makes the great mistake of reaching out to touch him.This is taken word-for-word from findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2455/is_n1_v33/ai_19638483/pg_5. Make sure you are properly citing any work that is not yours properly; this copy should either be in quotation marks or in block format, depending on your citation requirements.

Hawthorne's Brown represents human beings confronted with temptation or trying to satisfy their curiosity.

In the end Brown loses his wife Faith, and his spiritual faith.

You make some provocative points here; good job.

Writing Feedback / Super Rod - Essay about a super hero, I have a plot. [4]

You are very welcome. As long as you are aware that tense is an issue for you, you know to look out for it. If you have time, a good suggestion is to put your essay away for a day or two; don't peek at it, don't adjust it, just leave it be. After that separation time, come back to it and reread it; things like tense switches will just jump out at you!

Good luck!

Essays / A day at the mall with/without kids - Descriptive essay [4]

Good afternoon.

In regards to your question about viewpoint, it depends on what you are most comfortable with. The most important thing about it is that you are consistent throughout your text; be very careful about slipping from first person into third. Pick one and stay with it.

In regards to writing pros and cons, again that depends on what you are comfortable with. It seems like the instructor wants you to concentrate on putting yourself in someone else's shoes and rely on your imagination to describe how he or she feels with their newfound freedom or constraints, respectively. If you can effectively weave the good and bad points about both sides, then by all means try it; see how it works out. If you're not comfortable with the outcome, scrap it and start over.

Start out brainstorming a rough draft and see where it goes; you'll have a better idea of where you can take the essay after a rough draft is created. Once you have a rough draft, you can post it here and I can go through it for you.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Undergraduate / Karim, an American girlfriend and more - help with my admission essay [4]

Good afternoon.

What is the purpose of this essay? What are your instructor's goals for this assignment?

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com