Graduate / An Infallible Partner (he is in the forties and hasn't married yet) - give me your impression [4]

Good morning!

This is an incredible essay. Your descriptions are vivid; you have made this man very human and he does jump off of the page. The quirks you describe him as having make him all the more realistic, because we as humans very often have dramatically unrealistic ideals. I absolutely love the ending; life often does have a way of coming around full circle doesn't it?

The only things I can see that need some changing are mechanics; spelling, grammar, a few punctuation errors. If you would like, I can edit those for you; just let me know.

Again, great work!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Grammar, Usage / layer of epoxy etc. - need help in grammar [4]

Good morning!

OK, how about something like this:

...then they will be laid down in a mould that has a bottom layer of an epoxy and clay mixture; this will then be followed by a another top layer of the epoxy and clay mixture If this is not a mixture, but rather separate layers, you can take out "an" and "mixture" on both of the instances I used them . Samples without either cellulose fibers or clay will be made in order to examine the effect on the mechanical properties. All samples will then be cured for 24 hours at room temperature.

I hope this helps!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Undergraduate / WHY DO I WANT TO STUDY PUBLIC HEALTH AND HOW DOES IT FIT INTO MY CAREER? [6]

Good morning!

It looks as if this essay is an entrance essay to a particular school. If this is so, don't waste your word count explaining to them something that they already know. Instead, spend it talking about you; your dreams, your goals, what you are going to do with the education they give you. Out of your 241 words, you only spend 61 of them talking about you. The prompt they want you to answer is specifically why do you want to study public health and how it fits into your career. Sometimes it is difficult for us to talk about ourselves, but here it is absolutely necessary; they want to know what kind of a student you are, what you are currently doing, how you got to this position, how hard you will work if you get in, and what your plans for the future are.

Spend your valuable words talking about you, rather than giving an ineffective history lesson to those who do not need it.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Research Papers / Alcoholism - would it be a good topic for a research paper? [9]

Good afternoon!

How you cite a book in a research paper depends on the citation style you are using and how it is to be published. MLA, for example, requires that if the essay is going to be printed out that the title be italicized, while if it is going to be produced electronically, that it be underlined. Check your required citation style to be sure of what you need.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / Selfishness and politics research paper and outline [13]

Good afternoon!

In order for me to help you the best I can, I need a little bit of clarification. First, do you want this outline edited, or do you want help rewriting the thesis and tying the outline up better?

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Research Papers / "Franchising in the Middle East: Fast-Food" - Need a good resource [4]

As I am not a specialist in your area, I suggest asking your academic advisor for resources specific to this project subject; they should be able to point you to other campus resources as well. As far as a website search engine, any one will do; try just entering the keywords into the address bar of your web browser and see what you get.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Essay on Reasonableness of Postal Rule [4]

Excellent! I'm happy to hear it!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Poetry / Help on "Public school 190,Brooklyn 1963" by Espada [8]

No problem! I hope it helps.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Your opinion on this paragraph (literature class) [2]

Good evening Lorena!

The wanderer (Change this to "wanderer's" because he is the one who owns the views.) views of cruelty on (Change to "in") both (Insert "the") world and human beings is understandable to a man in his current situation. However, i (Capitalize.) disagree with the idea of living a life in sorrow and hatress (Change to "hatred".) towards everything that exist (Change to "exists".) . His fatalistic view of inexorable fate and how it controlls the world is against my beliefs. Furthermore, the capacity of every human being to overcome conflicts and adversity in every day (One word; "everyday".) life is what makes him (Change to "an individual".) strong. Similarly, the capacity of forgiveness and be mercyful (Change to "mercy".) is what distinguish (Change to "distinguishes") us from animals. Finally, dead (Change to "death".) is part of life as destruction and agression are parts of humans being's nature (Change to simply "human nature".) , so i (Capitalize) have a realistic point of view. I believe on (Change to "in".) facts, actions and the oportunity to change, (Remove this and add "and".) to (Insert "be") reborn, (Remove this and add a period.)and (Remove this)there (Capitalize) is no reason to live lamenting for the past or to be defeated by fate.

This essay is very clear and concise; you let us know exactly what your beliefs are and what your reasoning is behind them. Nice work.

I hope my suggestions help!

Scholarship / ESSAY ON PARTIAL SCHOLARSHIP TO STUDY PUBLIC HEALTH [3]

I am therefore applying for this scholarship(Insert a comma here.) which if given will make my dream come true. Mine is a case of a young woman with the wits and mind to excel at this course (Remove this-don't limit yourself here.) but fund (Change this to "...my current financial situation...") may pose a threat to the fulfillment of my dream. If given this scholarship, (Insert "along") with my savins (Spelling-"savings") , I will be able to pay my way through this one year programme that will determine how far my "noble" intention of seeing to the health of the populace in my community can be accomplished.

Very nice job! You do good work and your intentions are honorable. I wish you nothing but success!

Please let me know if I can help you further.

Essays / Essay on Reasonableness of Postal Rule [4]

Good afternoon!

I believe what you are referring to is the limitations on postal rule, in regards to English contract law. The case that established this precedence is Adams v. Lindsell, which states that during a potential sales transaction, an acceptance of an offer by mail is complete as soon as the letter is put into the mailbox.

If this is the information you are looking for, to find solid references do an internet search on keywords such as "English postal rule", "Adams v. Lindsell", or "English contract law". Hopefully that will help you find what you need. If you do find some resources but are confused, please feel free to post them here and I will be more than happy to help you work through them.

I hope this helps you get started!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Research Papers / "Franchising in the Middle East: Fast-Food" - Need a good resource [4]

Good afternoon!

This sounds like a very interesting report, and fortunately there seems to be a lot of information on the web in regards to it, especially in the area of statistics, which is what it appears you are looking for.

I suggest doing an online search that includes the keywords of your thesis statement. "Fast food franchising in the Middle East". You could also just search for "fast food franchising" and see what you get out of that.

From there you can begin to sift through the information and hopefully find something that you can use. Also, you could check peer reviewed business journals for current articles on your topic.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Student Talk / IELTS Exam - How important is it? [13]

Good afternoon!

The only IELTS exam I am familiar with is the International English Language Testing System. It is an exam that gauges how well a test taker communicates in English. Listening, reading, writing, and speaking are all covered. Is this the test you are referring to?

If so, I suggest searching the internet for IELTS; there are a number of online study guides and practice tests to help you prepare for the real thing. Also, you could talk to your academic advisor (if you have one) to see what resources they have to prepare for the test.

I hope this helps!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Poetry / Help on "Public school 190,Brooklyn 1963" by Espada [8]

Good afternoon!

Poetry is all about personal interpretation. You can analyze a poem line by line, thinking about the one line independently, and what you think it means. Once you have done this with all of the lines, you can begin to interpret them in relation to one another, developing an overall understanding of the poem.

Theme is obviously what the poem is about. A theme could be an emotion. For example, who's point of view is the poem coming from? Is a certain emotion motivating them to write the work? For example, if a person is writing a poem about a deserted island, you could interpret a theme of lonliness. As far as this particular poem, try doing some background research on the author if you have trouble identifying a theme immediately. If you can understand where he/she was coming from when writing it, perhaps you can understand any themes more clearly.

Technical elements are a little more clear cut. They are things like rhyme and meter, the flow and cadence of the poem. Does this poem stick to a syllable pattern pertaining to each line? Is there no rhyme or flow at all? If not, how is that significant?

You could begin your research online by searching for the title of the work or the author's name; this could help you to begin developing your own interpretations of the work. Try the line by line approach also, that can prove to be very fruitful.

I hope this helps you get started!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Dissertations / Having trouble Analyzing an Argument (logical fallacies)! [6]

Good afternoon!

OK, in response to your first part: "The goal of tax reform shouldbe twofold. One isto genterate a more reliable revenue stream. The other isto make the tax code more reflective of California's changing economy,which in turn couldstimulate more growth.

In the above sentence I believe it's an Either or... fallacy."
What other explanations do you see in this statement?

As to your second post, I agree with you; it looks like you are on the right track.

In regards to the third post, I think you should explain it in very black and white terms, as the newspaper author has done. The cause is California's backward taxation system; the effect is the good things are being taxed too much and the bad things not at all. Yes, I would include the consequences in your analysis also.

As for the fourth post, I agree with your application of the emotional theory; the title does sound a bit revolutionary. The author is clearly writing to gain followers.

"Is the author not clarifying is this a California's state regulation that we have to follow this code or is this a way to confuse the reader in thinking taxes are going to be nonexistant or extinct?" I'm not really sure what you want to state here; are you asking a question of your reader? If so, perhaps try to change it around a bit. For example, "Is the author confusing us by stating this is a California law? Is this a way of tricking readers into thinking taxes are going to be done away with?" Does the author mean that citizens will not have to pay taxes any longer, or is he/she stating that current tax money is being wasted?

As to your last paragraph, it does seem that the article depends heavily on him/her scaring the pants off anyone who reads this piece. Confusion is also a scare tactic, make no mistake about it. The less one understands about something the scarier it is.

I do believe you are on the right track; your analysis seems to be coming along quite nicely and you have some very good points. Keep up the good work!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / Essay on the Greate Gatsby novel [4]

Good morning!

I am currently going over your essay and should have my suggestions for you later today.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Poetry / Help on "Public school 190,Brooklyn 1963" by Espada [8]

What kind of paper do you need to write?

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / having native English teachers in all English classes? [4]

That is a great idea! Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience about this!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / "The Simpsons" - help in paragraph homework [2]

Good morning!

Well, with the essay only being a paragraph long, your sentences need to be clearly developed and stated; you will only have about 8 to work with.

You could start it by stating your opinion (the Simpsons is bad, but there are worse shows?) then follow up by providing 4-5 sentences giving specific examples of why you think this (i.e. you could include a summary of one episode of each show), and then one sentence for your conclusion.

I hope this helps give you some ideas.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Whole-to-whole or Part-to-part structure - "Two people you know"; comparison and contrast Paragraph [8]

You are welcome; you can, just post it under "Essay Writing Feedback" when you are ready.

Poetry / Analyse two poems that are linked by the theme of love [3]

Good morning!

I would also suggest searching the internet with keywords such as "love poems" and "love poetry"; sometimes the simplest searches can come up with very useful information!

Regards,
Gloria

Dissertations / PhD in Physics: proposal about Cellulose Fiber Reinforced Polymer-Clay Nanocomposites [4]

You're very welcome! It is very hard work you are doing!
I can't wait to see what else you come up with!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Essay template on "Walking" [2]

Hello!

Thank you for posting your template. I am sure others will find it very helpful.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Dissertations / PhD in Physics: proposal about Cellulose Fiber Reinforced Polymer-Clay Nanocomposites [4]

Good afternoon!

Congratulations on your academic career! It takes a lot of hard work to get where you are; keep it up!

OK, let's see what we have for your essay; I think it's going to be easier if we take it one paragraph at a time, so I'll just go through it in blocks. Hopefully that will be easier for us both :) .

For the first block:
"Natural fiber-reinforced composites have been attracting researchers because of their unique properties such as strength, toughness, high modulus, low cost, low density, and environmental friendliness. Similarly, polymer nanoclay composites have been widely investigated due to their significant improvement in modulus, impact strength, barrier properties, heat resistance, and thermal ability."

For the second block:
"Natural fibers have been used as reinforced composites for their advantages. For example, they are light, cheap, tough, impact resistant, and have excellent strength and modulus. However, their wider application has been limited by their susceptibility to swell when submerged in water, and to rot.

For the third block:
"In the last decade a significant amount of work has focused o the improvement of the mechanical properties of adding clay into pure epoxy resin systems. Moreover, polymer nanoclay composites have shown excellent improvement in reducing moisture; however, their engineering applications have been limited for the lack of interfacial adhesion between the epoxy resin and nanoclay layers. My proposal provides a solution to these problems and revolutionize the wide spread use of renewable eco-composites".

Make sure when writing your proposal to not use a passive voice; don't tell me you are going to tell me something, just tell me. This not only makes you sound more confident, it is academically correct. Also avoid "I am going to..."; again, be confident. Just say it.

Please let me know if I can be of further assistance!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Help developing paper on the DSM and psychiatry [2]

It sounds like you have a very good plan laid out for this paper; that is the first step to success.

I do have a few suggestions on the paragraph you included, here they are:

"Within the realm of psychiatry, one universal object is more highly recognized than anything or anyone, the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders better known as the DSM."

To eliminate a run-on, consider rewording this to something like, "Within the realm of psychiatry, one universal object is more highly recognized than anything or anyone; the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, better known as the DSM."

"THE DSM..."
I am assuming you did not intentionally write "THE" in all caps; if you did, please don't. :P

"The view over the..."
This is a little awkward; how about writing "The view of the..." to remedy this?

"These questions and questions like these..."
Instead of using "these" twice, how about changing the sentence to "These questions and others like them..."; also remove the comma that follows as it is unnecessary.

As for a second paragraph, I would try to avoid telling the reader what you plan to tell them; just tell them. I believe you have a strong introduction; continue that strength throughout your paper by proving your analysis with your research, don't waste alot of time meandering through a plan.

Essays / Death of a Salesman - an analysis with 3 secondary sources [2]

Good afternoon!

Death of a Salesman is a very popular work; I would suggest just typing the name in an onine search engine; you could perhaps also search for the title of the text along with "analysis". This could get you started on secondary sources. As far as the type of analysis, what does your assignment require? Do you have to use a specific analytical method, or is that up to you? If it is left up to you, I would also pick a critical analysis theory to apply to the work. You can research those by searching onine for them also.

I hope this helps you get started!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Poetry / Question regarding "A Poison Tree" [2]

Good afternoon!

The trick to poetry is that it is all in your interpretation, therefore it is highly individualized, personal, and expressive. In this particular poem, the fruit is not necessarily literally a fruit; it is also a metaphor. What could this metaphor be? As far as the "fruit" being poison, does it really matter if the foe knows it is poison or not? Think about the foe's motivation for picking and eating the fruit.

In regards to the fears that the poet had in mind, this is up to you to analyze. Can we ever be crystal clear of another's intentions?

The point of "understanding" the poem is not to be correct or incorrect, but to explore the possibilities. What are the possibilities and ramifications of growing a poisonous tree? This can be compared to responsible pet ownership (WAAAYYYY off topic, I know, but bear with me). If I own a viscious dog and I leave it unleashed in a park with children, do I mean for it to bite a child? Is my intent even relevant?

I hope this is useful for you.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, Essay Forum.com

Essays / Whole-to-whole or Part-to-part structure - "Two people you know"; comparison and contrast Paragraph [8]

Good afternoon!

Sometimes a part-to-part structure comparison is easier; it depends on your topic. If you are comparing two people you know really well, this may prove to be true. For instance, if you use your parents, you could compare their attitudes on a certain topic, such as their favorite ice creams, or kinds of movies they like to watch. You could compare and contrast them in their jobs (i.e. they both work in offices, or one works in an office and the other is a lumber foreman, etc.)

I would suggest using people you know really well so that you have many points to compare and contrast.

I hope this helps!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / Dangerous Minds Assignment Paragraph Writing; vivid deep movie as a grade 11 poetry unit startup. [3]

Good morning!

This is a very good essay; it is organized, with clear supporting details. Exceeding the word count could go either way; you know your instructor best, and that is really the most appropriate indicator. I don't think he will mind if you are using the extra words constructively, which you definately are. If you really want to cut down on the words, you could remove a couple of examples, shortening it nicely.

There are just a couple spelling/grammatical/punctuation errors.

"As we see the homeless guy pass in front of the project school girls thus does it not only proves this society being poor but it also brings foreshadowing."

This sentence is a little awkward. How about reworking it to read something such as, "We next see a homeless guy pass in front of the project schoolgirls. This not only proves this society is poor but it also exhibits foreshadowing.

"...without narration nor words..."
This sounds a littel redundant. Perhaps change it to "without narration or written words"...
Your conclusion ties everything up nicely. Good work!

Grammar, Usage / Business Law Assignment : the postal rule of acceptance [5]

Good morning Kenny,

I would reiterate the above moderator's suggestions to begin your research for your topic on the internet, by searching for keywods that include the country along with "the postal rule of acceptance". As Sarah illustrated, it is called different things in different countries, so you need to be on the look out for that.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / practice: essays on cause ans effect or compare and contrast [9]

Good morning!

Those are excellent subjects! How about your two favorite sports or hobbies? How about two of your favorite stories, or authors? How about using your parents as models?

Whatever it is that you choose for your subjects, make sure they are things that you are familiar with, so you do not have to spend too much time researching.

I hope this helps!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Scholarship / Arts Administration Internship Essay [3]

Good morning!

Congratulations on taking this step in your life! An internship is a major event. I hope you succeed!

Your essay overall is very good; your flow is even and there is not a lot of excess filler material. With that said, let's take a look at what can be improved upon:

"...family and friends got to go (Change to read "to go to") museums or galleries with me..."

"...it will give me Insert "an") edge in getting into a good program..."

"...I will (Insert "be") immersed in..."

"...Some of (Insert "my") favorite courses that I have ..."

"...The Meeting Eastern/Western Art..." This seems awkward to me; perhaps check the title of the course. Maybe I am wrong, but it seems that the title should be something like "The Meeting ofEastern and Western Art.

"...Theses two courses (Insert "of", delete one of the "have"s; the sentence seems like it should read, "These two courses of study have complemented each other...) study have complemented..."

I would turn this section, "Overall speaking, I am someone who is an enthusiastic catalyst. I believe that art improves our lives; it involves peoples' participation on all levels. I would like to be a person who works towards brings art out into the world in a positive manner." into its own new paragraph as it will work well as your conclusion.

Very nice work here! I was able to "see" you at your work, doing what you love to do. I hope that your judges can "see" this also, and you get the internship!

Let me know if I can be of further assistance.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Book Reports / Evaluation essay paper help on "The Culture of Fear" [5]

Good morning!

It seems like you have some good ideas to get started with. I find that using an outline helps me get organized in my writing, and it is something that may work well here. To begin with, chose major points from the text. It looks like you have begun to do this already. Your first pillar could be how groups and individuals use specific issues to influence what people deem worthy enough to worry over.

The second pillar may be how politicians and the media work together to play off American's fears. You will probably need three more large pillar topics for an essay of 6 to 7 pages.

Once you have these main pillars, use supporting facts and details to support them. You've already got some of those here. For the first pillar topic, you could use the examples the author states shows how Americans respond to these stimuli.

As for the second pillar, you can use examples such as the school dropout perception to bolster your pillar statements.

I would also suggest researching over the internet the book and other critical reviews of it to help clarify the text.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Letters / Writing to the Principal to recommend the President for a computer society [2]

Good morning!

This letter is very well prepared and organized! Nice work!

There are just a couple spelling/grammatical errors:

"...inspire her team mates (change to "teammates", one word) and..."

"...to familiarise (change to "familiarize") students..."

"...our team mates (change to "teammates", one word) ..."

"...you would (remove to avoid passive tone) agree with my judgement (correct spelling to "judgment" to select the..."

Also, don't forget to sign the letter! "Regards" is an acceptable business letter signature phrase; leave four empty lines and then type your name. When you print out the letter, us the blank space for your signature (in either blue or black ink).

Nice work!

Poetry / I have to write a Poem Review (but I've never read any English poems!) [14]

I'm glad I could be of help!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Research Papers / Feminism in two novels (The Handmaid's Tale / The Mists of Avalon) [2]

Good morning!

I would suggest using the internet and using the search term 'feminism' along with the author name and book title and see what you can find; the internet is always a good starting point for research.

As for help getting started, I often find that creating an outline helps me get organized, and if I can stay organized, I can get the paper done more efficiently. I would start out with your thesis (it looks like comparing and contrasting feminism in these two works is the thesis) and then set about beginning with the pillar of finding feminist eliments in one novel and then the second. I would then continue on with finding contrasting feminism in the two texts, and lay those down on the outline. Once you have the main subject topic pillars and the supporting detail pillars, you can fill in the spaces between the pillars with "mud" from exact quotes in the book to support your thoughts.

I know it seems like a lot to digest right off in the beginning, but we'll get through it together. Start off with the research and jot down some ideas that come to your head as you're going along. That will be plenty to get you started.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Undergraduate / Essay On Life Goals [4]

Good evening Elizabeth!
I'm so glad I can be of help! Let's take a look at what you've got so far:

Life today is continuing to change with the advancement in technology and medicine. As a doctor I would hope to (Passive! Don't hope--do it! "As a doctor I will..." contribute to the (change to "these") changes by being a researcher. Being a researcher lets me have the change (chance?) to be able to develop new treatment techniques and medicines to improve the quality of other's lives. By finding and researching new methods to help others , I would realize my goal of helping others . (How about choosing another word instead of "others"? Using it so much makes it redundant.)

My goal of becoming a doctor reflects my childhood experiences and personality. When I saw people who needed help as I was little I felt that I had an obligation crerpashity (This made me laugh out loud! Is it late or what? I'm not even really sure I want to guess at it...you tell me! :) ) to help. I am a compassionate person with a desire to help others. I hope (Passive! Don't hope--KNOW! "I know that by studying hard I will achieve my goal." that by studying hard I will eventually achieve this goal.

You are doing a fantastic job! Keep it up!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Research Papers / Marketing Assignment of The Heinz U.S.A Company [24]

Christopher,
You're welcome. I wish you the best of luck in your future studies.

Essays / Help on thesis with Paradise Lost [9]

Good afternoon!
I am very glad I could help you with this project; it came along very nicely. Let's look at the last paragraph you submitted.

"...Fall; Of (no need to capitalize here) course, he employs..."

That's it!! Excellent! I like the way that you used exact quotations and clearly linked those quotes to your thoughts. This paragraph flows really well, and you have good transitions. Your independent thought is very analytical and comparative; this is what your instructor is seeking from you.

Excellent academic work! I wish you the best in your future endeavors; you are clearly becoming a better writer. Even though it did not come easy you still persevered and came out the other side a much better writer. Remember to stay organized and focused in your future writings; don't try to take on too much material if you don't have to because in academia quality is better than quantity. Don't be afraid to delve into deep layers and no independent thought is flimsy.

Best of luck in your future studies, it was great working with you.

Poetry / help, poetry project about myself! [2]

Good afternoon!

I would suggest two different places to help you get started here. First, did your instructor assign you some kind of poetry guide as part of your reading material? If so, that could be an excellent place to scan over forms and give you an example to start from. If not, try searching the internet for poetry forms, or forms of poetry. There are countless types; haiku, tanga, concrete, free verse, and pantoum just to name a few. Any format can hold any subject manner, so it all boils down to what feels right to you.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com