Writing Feedback / Artists, poets and musicians are not as important, as lawyers, doctors or engineers [3]

Hi, could you please help with my essay as this is my 2nd try for the CBEST writing section. Could you tell me where can I improve and point out my mistakes.

Some have argued that occupations that focus on creative expressions(artists, poets and musicians) are not as important as occupation that emphasize analytical expression(lawyers, doctors, engineers). To what extent do you agree or disagree with this argument. support your opinion with specific examples.

CBEST ESSAY

Today, there are myriad career options in the world from being an art critic, a animator,a choreographer to a surgeon, a chartered accountant etcetera. Occupations that focus on creative expressions(artists, poets and musicians) are not as important as occupation that emphasize analytical expression(lawyers, doctors, engineers) is a controversial one. Some believe that one should choose a career which will allow one to creatively express themselves. While others believe that an occupation where one applies logical reasoning followed with good monetary returns is the best. After a careful thought, I some what disagree with the statement because as children, we were told that whatever you do in life, you should be content and do it with full enthusiasm. We should follow our dreams and respect each and every work as no job is small or insubstantial.

Who decides which occupation is the best? Which career guarantees complete success? Which career is the most satisfying? Everyone has different answers depending upon how they perceive their jobs. A person who is satisfied with his job and is motivated to grow in that particular field has chosen the best career path for himself even if it involves creativity or logical reasoning. Today, there are various career options where one gets to express themselves creatively. They get to express their ideas and emotions through a variety of mediums like paintings, dance and music. With the increase in technology, their creativity is spreading like fire and they are being appreciated for their work and also doing financially very well.

It is my belief that one should choose a career based on their interest and passion. My classmate Ria in high school was a trained dancer and had won many competitions in school. In our last year, we had a career orientation fair where we had to choose a particular field. Most of us had chosen commerce or science because we were naive as everyone told us that career ins science or commerce would be the best for us. Ria was the only who selected Arts as she wanted to become a dancer. Soon we all became busy in pursuing our respective careers. After 7 years, I accidentally bumped into Ria at the Mall and she told me that she was a choreographer with Digital Films production house. She also shared her experiences of performing live and how she organized TV and stage shows. She was doing very well for herself as she soon was starting her own dance academy.

Some people are born talented with multiple intelligences. If motivated and given the right advice and support, they grow up to be successful in the career they chose for themselves. With their extra ordinary qualities they can also achieve great success in those fields. If Eminem was asked to be an engineer and Sundar Pichai to be a singer, I am sure they would not be that successful as they are in their respective fields. Lot of examples of musicians and artist are there like Britney Spears, Michael Jackson, Shakira, Lata Mangeskar and many famous artists which can be taken into account to prove that they are doing equally good or better than people of other occupations.

Writing Feedback / Wanting something and not getting it can be very disappointing - your experiences [3]

CBEST ESSAY about disappointments

Wanting something and not getting it can be very disappointing, but wanting something and then getting it can be disappointing too. Have you ever wanted something, gotten it, and then were disappointed? Describe these disappointments.

As a kid, I always had my list ready with the things I wanted like a Barbie doll house, the Faber Castle crayon set or a Frozen inspired water bottle. Most of the times I got what I asked for but many times I had to complete some tasks that my parents set in order to receive that particular item such as passing the ballet test or being in time for breakfast for a week. As I grew up, my list gradually changed from consisting materialist things to an adventure list. Since childhood I have been a very curious child with itchy feet, I cannot sit in one place and thus, I enjoy traveling. Apart from materialistic things, there were many other things that I wished for like visiting the Miami beaches, hiking at the snow-clad mountains of Seattle or relishing the desserts in New York.

Every year we used to go on a family vacation, but it mostly consisted of the places in Asian countries and I always wanted to visit the United States of America. I always asked my parents to plan a trip to the USA but each time I was told that it is next on the travel list. The curiosity to visit the USA was mostly created by the movies and American shows that I watched while growing up. The camera captured the nature and the places beautifully and quintessentially. It hyped the American lifestyle and created a dream image in my mind. Also, most of the top universities are located in the US like the Stanford and Harvard Universities. It has one of the best teaching faculty with plenty of career options to select from. Thus, after completing my graduation, I thought of pursuing masters at one of the esteemed universities in the US and be an independent adult. As I put forward my thought of joining college in the US across my parents, they quickly agreed without any hesitation or persuasion. My excitement levels knew no boundaries and I soon applied for college and started with applications. In less than 6 months, I was ready to fly to my dream destination.

As the flight landed, I already had the list of things to do and places to visit ready. The first couple of months were adventurous and I met wonderful people. I went on hiking trips and social dances on weekends. Gradually, I started feeling homesick. I often called my parents to visit me but due to prior commitments, they were unable to visit me. I was staying in a rented apartment with three other roommates. I had to do my own laundry and cook meals for myself. I soon realized how dependent I was on my mother and other domestic helpers for all my daily chores. Coming from a joint family, I was feeling very lonely and I missed eating meals with my family while watching television together or playing games on a Sunday afternoon while sipping tea and munching snacks. The daily Sunday brunch and movie outings with school friends were longed for. There was no one to share my joys and sorrows. I was regretting my decision and started doubting myself for the decision I had made of moving to the US. I thought of going back to my home country but I had to finish my graduation as my father had taken a loan for my education and had faith on my capabilities. Soon after completing my masters, I did not apply for a job and left for my country immediately.

After this experience, I realized one thing that a human being is never content and satisfied with what he or she has or receives. Often, when we get something we wished for is backed by the thought that I wished I had asked for something else at that moment. We want everything to work according to our whims and fancies. We should keep moving and work hard as life is like a journey and we have to keep traveling. This journey only ends when our life ends.

Writing Feedback / CBEST ESSAY! CONTRIBUTION OF TECHNOLOGY - POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE ? [3]

Technology is very much a part of modern life. Many people see technology as a force that has escaped from human control. Others feel that technology has improved the quality of life. Do you think that the contribution technology has made to modern life has been positive or negative? State your position on this issue and support it with appropriate examples.

the influence of technical inventions for the life today

Technology is the most unstable medium as it keeps on changing with time and new innovations. Today man has made exceptional progress in the field of technology. Our lives suddenly are surrounded by technology from a doorbell to the coffee machine. Technology has improved the quality of life and the contributions made to the modern life has been positive. I shall advocate my views in the following paragraphs.

Technology has been spread in all the domains of our life. There have been innumerable inventions of medical types of equipment. Basic pieces of equipment like an X-ray machine to a complex machine like a mammography all have been very useful in saving lives of a number of people. Many diseases and disorders can be cured or detected with the help of the various technologies. It has helped medical professionals to gather more accurate data and analysis of the issue.

One of the most positive outcomes of technology according to me has been in the field of education. One can teach and study online and earn a degree while doing odd jobs in the day to support himself and his family. With the growing access to the internet, one gets access to all the information that one needs to study or research about. With new applications being developed along with internet, education is reaching the remote corners of the world where there are no traditional schools for the kids.

Mobile phones have contributed to healthy relations between distant family members and friends. Previously, people had to trunk call, which would take a couple of days to contact the other person which was quite costly and grueling. But these days one can talk to their parents residing in different countries at their own ease. With the help of mobile phones and cameras, one can capture beautiful memories and store them for a lifetime. They can view the images and videos any time as well as share with others who could not be a part of that memory.

With the help of technology, everyone is updated with the latest news happening around the world. Weather forecast has helped man to plan his day or trip ahead with the help of the machines at the meteorology department. Banking has become considerable easy and manageable. One can send and receive money sitting in any corner of the world. One can make donations and help in the funding for any cause.

All in all, inventions like the nuclear power has created disasters in history but the advantages drastically outweigh the disadvantages. So technology has made life much better that was in the past and it will further indulge in the future.

Writing Feedback / I took the risk and become an elementary teacher. CBEST- Any risk that you have taken in life! [3]

shifting career from PR publicist to a teacher

'Your life should include innumerable risks' read a hoarding while I was on my way with my mother to the university to pay up for the first semester of my graduate college. I had cleared all the entrance exams with great difficulty to get into the Masters in Public Relations program. I was elated when I had received a mail which confirmed my admission to the esteemed university.

I had graduated with a bachelor of Mass Media with majors in advertising. I had an artistic and creative streak in me which always motivated me to select the field of mass media. Back in school, I was not a very intelligent child or a favorite of any subject teacher. I did not get the best of grades but I would actively participate in all the school events and competitions and always ranked in the top three positions. I could see myself in the entertainment business has a PR publicist n the next seven years after college.

Filling out the details on the application form before paying the fees, I met a bunch of sophomores who were coming out the exam hall. I happened to go up to them on my mother's insistence to ask them about the course which I was applying for. Upon talking to them we came to know that the course had a few drawbacks like the class timings were odd and mostly late nights, the faculty members were mostly absent and not that proficient and there were no job placements upon completion of the program. I was next in line to pay up, but I stepped back and sat on the bench nearby in dubiety to reconsider my decision. I was clueless and lost.

My mother out of the blue asked me to join the Early childhood program which my best friend had applied for. I was unsure about it as I had no background information and no inclination towards teaching. I always wanted to be a PR publicist, unlike someone who would be surrounded by twenty kids and do an 8-2 job. Coincidently, the last day to register for the teaching course was that day itself. Suddenly, the hoarding which I had come across in morning came to my mind and I decided to take the risk of becoming a teacher after constant nagging from my mother.

We immediately left for the teaching institute. It was a very sudden and risky decision as it was a complete career change. I was unsure about the decision but my mother propelled me and explained why this would be one of the best decision of my life. On my way back I came across the hoarding again, and somewhere I felt I a little sure about what I was about to do. The thought of failure did come in my mind but I soon remembered what my professor once told me, "You will at some point in life be confused which direction to go in, always choose the one which you are unsure about." I was constantly struggling with these contradictory thoughts when finally I arrived at the gate of the teaching institute.

Today, I feel proud and brave to take the risk of shifting my career option from a PR publicist to an elementary teacher. The time spent in school is the most pleasurable as I feel relaxed and motivated to teach the kids. This profession has taught me plenty things but the most important lessons I learned was the day when I started taking risks.

Writing Feedback / CBEST ESSAY- Have you face any rejection/defeat ? How did it affect you. [3]

At some point in our lives, all of us have faced some sort of rejection or defeat. Write an essay about a time in your life when you experienced such a rejection. How did the rejection affect you?

great dissapointment

If someone asked me,"what is your favorite pastime" my reply without any second thought would be eating and cooking food. Since I was 5 years old, I often helped my mother and grandmother in preparing meals for everyone. From an early age, I developed an interest in cooking food. Gradually I started experimenting with different cuisines under the guidance of my mother and from various recipes available online. Once I was an adult, I registered for the cooking competition which was conducted every year in my city. I started preparing for the competition two weeks in advance with skyrocketing confidence and excitement. After nine grueling hours, it was my time to present my dish. I had 20 minutes to plate my dish and I did exactly what I had been practicing for a long a time. As I entered the room with 4-panel judges sitting on the stage, I was immediately rejected because they did not find my food very appealing to their eyes. They did not even taste my food and announced for the next participant to be sent in.

I was shattered and shocked. I was unable to hold back my tears and as soon as I saw my mother on the other side of the gate waiting for me in anticipation I broke down and started weeping profusely. The next couple months I completely lost interest in cooking. I used to keep thinking if there was any way I could have impressed the judges by my words to taste the food so I could have been selected. My mother kept motivating me with inspirational talks but somehow I was never convinced and thus I stopped cooking for a year. The fear of rejection was soon taking control of me. I was unable to overcome my inhibitions and I started developing interests in other career fields. I applied for a diploma in Early Childhood Education and soon started teaching children.

As part of the annual school competition, there was a nutritional diet cooking competition for all teachers in the school. As I read the pamphlet, the flashback of how I was rejected flashed in front of my eyes. Somewhere deep down I was still trying to overcome that rejection, so I withdrew my name from the competition. I shared my inhibitions with my coordinator and guide and she explained to me that we rise only when we fall. Only when you face a rejection are you motivated to achieve the goal for which you were rejected. After talking to her for several days, I participated in the competition and secured the third place. After a long time, I was feeling confident and proud of myself.

I immediately called up my mother and shared my joy and success. Past couple of months, she had been wanting to start a food video blog (Vlog) of her own. I asked her if I could join her and collaboratively start the new venture. My mother always had complete faith in me and we soon started our vlog where we try innovative food recipes by mix and matching different cuisines. Now when I look back at the time when I was rejected, I feel I was too naive to let the fear of rejection take control over me.

Writing Feedback / Mars is the focus of scientists' attention and this money could be spent better [2]

CBEST ESSAY - funding space programs

Hi, I took this topic from the IELTS preparation material as I was unable to find any cbest expository essay topics. I am unsure if this type of question would be asked in CBEST, but I still tried to write an essay. Do let me know if such a question would be asked or not.

Governments spend millions of dollars each year on their space programs. Most recently, Mars is the focus of scientists' attention. Some people think this money would be better spent on dealing with problems closer to home. Do you agree or disagree?

Every year a percentage of kids die due to starvation or are malnutritioned. Many old homeless people do not have any roof over their heads. There are uneducated children who are refrained from attending school because their parents can not afford the fees and many patients who-who are left to die on the bed because they are unable to pay for their treatment. These are a handful of concerns of every country that I have listed but the actual list is endless. I assume, the amount the government is spending on the space programs could help shorten the list of problems a country faces. Therefore, I advocate that money should be spent on dealing with problems closer to home before spending on other programs dealing with a massive budget.

In today's times, people are killing each other in order to fill their stomachs. The rise in robberies and killings have increased because of the rising food prices and population. The farmers are committing suicide because their crops are destroyed due to natural calamities and their inability to repay the loans which in turn has resulted in the scarcity of food and rise in the prices. Causes of malnutrition and starvation is a big issue that the government should look into. The government should spend some of the money from their treasury to make sure that all families should be able to afford the basic bread and butter for their survival. The government should also offer subsidies and offer loans with low interests.

We the citizens of the country are paying taxes for the betterment of the nation. We want and demand better roads and transportation facilities, best medical facilities and social security. The government should invest in taking care of the basic needs of the people and then spend the remaining budget on the space program or any other research. The government should take up initiatives and give insurance to the medical department of the country to serve the hundreds of people who are unable to pay for their treatment. Free education should be granted and qualified teachers should be enrolled in government schools to teach the students who would grow up to be successful and independent pupils. The government should invest in the research and inventions for the eradication of pollution and other deadly diseases that are the greatest concerns of the people.

I believe that instead of spending on the space programme, which would not benefit any one of us at present, the government should spend on the problems and issues that the people are dealing with now. Spending on the space program is a risk because it takes years to research and it consumes a lot of money with no guaranteed results. I was taught back in school that the best government is the government for the people, by the people and of the people. The government who thinks about the people of the nation rather than the nation first is considered to be a successful government.

Writing Feedback / Teacher is a person who believes in you, tugs, pushes and leads you to the next plateau [3]

being poked with a sharp stick called 'truth'

Dan Rather, former CBS anchorman, spoke of teachers who help other by being one "who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called 'truth'." Consider a situation where a teacher, coach, mentor, friend or relative acted in this way towards you.

My husband was working in the United States of America in a reputed firm and I arrived here on a dependent visa as soon as I got married after completing my bachelors. My husband supported me in my decision of pursuing my masters in education in the US as I dreaded being a housewife and my aim is to be principal in the future. He had already researched the exams that I was needed to appear for to apply for college as well as the colleges offering the course I wanted to apply for. When I saw the curriculum of CSET that I had to study for the exams, I was demotivated and thought of pursuing a masters degree in another field because I did not want to study the lengthy curriculum of elementary school all over again.

But my husband kept pushing me to study harder and also orally asked me all questions to help me revise. After appearing for all exams, I did not clear in three exams. I was really heartbroken because I did not want to study everything all over again and also because this was the first time I had faced failure. I made a decision of not studying ahead. He pep talked me into reappearing for the exams again but I was adamant about my decision. Suddenly, he rose in anger and told me,"if you do not study here, you will be a housewife forever. It is either now or never. You will never be a principal and all your dreams with just be mere dreams and nothing else." His words poked me like a splintered glass. I was broken but after much introspection, I realized that what he told me was the truth as I was taking my exams very lightly and yet had not given my best.

The next morning before my husband woke up, I had registered for all the exams that I had to reappear for. I ordered for more studying materials online and made a timetable that would help me study in order to get the passing score. I started visiting the library to be more studious and spend maximum time studying and practicing for my exam. In all this, my husband was constantly backing me. Soon I appeared for on exam and cleared. But my husband kept me grounded as he reminded me that I still had two more exams to go and we would celebrate only once I clear all the exams.

I was brought to reality by my husband, as I was in another country where I had to follow the rules and achieve my goals. You raise to success from failure. There are so many people whom we look up to like Steve Jobs, Walt Disney or Colonel Sanders but we do not know who was their driving force or mentor. A mentor/guide/coach/teacher is someone who has complete faith in you and pushes you when you become stagnant. For me, my husband is my mentor, guide, coach, and friend. If he had not trusted my capabilities and supported me, I would be sitting at home and wasting this valuable time of my life.

Writing Feedback / Describe a favorite class you had in school. What made it your favorite class. (250-350 words) [2]

the drama class

My all time favorite class in elementary school was the drama class. Mr. Jaffery is the best theatre artist/teacher I have ever met till date. He always entered class dressed up as a particular character like Batman, Fireman or a zombie. We used to have drama class once a week every Tuesday just before we left for home. After a full day of studying life cycles of animals and location of states on the map etc, drama class was refreshing and I used to look forward to that class. The most memorable class was just before the Christmas break. Mr. Jaffery entered class disguised as an elf and asked us to go to the garden area. We all stood in a circle in the garden and he asked us to imagine ourselves as any character we would like to be in the upcoming activity. After pondering over the various characters, I chose my self to be little red riding hood. After a couple of minutes, Mr. Jaffery read out a small paragraph from a book and paused halfway through the story. He then told us to get into our respective characters and continue the story with every student saying one dialogue each with respect to their character. The story which started as a fantasy, went on to become a thriller, then mystery and soon a comedy element was brought in with some adventure taking place side by side and finally after some action sequence it ended as a fairy tale. The entire activity had left us in splits. The dialogues and expressions used were mind-blowing. Soon as we entered class after the activity, we were informed that our entire class was video recorded and was later shown to us on the projector screen. The video got us giggling and chortling. The copy of the video was soon sent to our parents and till today every time I see that video, I remember the entire storyline with the dialogues that was created during that activity.