Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 benefits and drawbacks of mobile phone on society, technology and health [2]

There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones.

What forms do they take?

Do you agree the problems of mobile phones outweigh the benefits?

Over the past decades, technology has, generally, improved and got greater access to humankind than before. While the mobile phone is considered one of those most significant and useful innovations in the information age, varying people argue how people have been using phones recently can result in considerable drawbacks. This essay will point out various forms of those major issues and express the author's opinion.

Without a doubt, many substantial problems in terms of society, health and technology can be caused by mobile phones. To be specific, phones are popularly viewed as a primary means of communication due to their varying helpful features, which contributes to modern worsening society interaction such as forgetting how to talk with real humans. Furthermore, varied serious mental and psychological issues associated with modern users, for instance, poor eyesight, stressfulness and depression caused by radio waves undoubtedly lower people's productivity and efficiency in their studies and work. Lastly, as many users believe in the security technology, they decide to store their private data there, however, some brands produce dead phones and they do not even work out on the errors.

On the other hand, mobile phones significantly influence humans' life in the modern world. Firstly, they can support their users to correspond to worldwide people without boundaries of geography and time, to build new relationships and express emotions more easily with varied creative emojis and stickers on different social media platforms. Secondly, about medical issues, if users are educated to control their time spent viewing on small screens, they are unlikely to suffer from any illnesses, instead, playing games and listening to music on phones have already been reported to help relieve stress in schools and workplace. Most importantly, technology is also believed to be enhanced through the innovations of such devices since they would invest more in technological gadgets after seeing how profitable phone brands could become. With these advantages, the drawbacks of mobile phones are likely considered to be incomparable to how they help the future world.

In conclusion, this essay discusses various detailed issues and the reason why mobile phones would benefit people more greatly than how they could negatively affect people. It is also recommended that users should also control how much time they spend on small screens to stay out of problems.

Thank you, this is my first time posting and I am glad to hear your feedback and revisions. Thanks in advance!

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: COMPULSORY TAX PAYMENT (agree or disagree) [2]

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over the recent years, tax payment has become a major concern worldwide. While it is compulsory for adult inhabitants to contribute money to state revenue, varying people argue it should not be their duty. In my opinion, it is reasonable for governments to levy on workers' income and business profits.

Without a doubt, paying taxes plays a vital role in maintaining and improving social conditions. To be specific, most communal goods and services, such as parks, schools and hospitals are funded by public money. Besides, without tax, important departments, for instance, national defense and police would not be functional, which harms not only the security but also the world peace. On the other hand, governments are considered untrustworthy due to corruption and political instability, however, it is inevitable that tax payment significantly influences the community if state issues are worked out well.

Equally important, solving the inequality gap can be viewed as a primary reason why governments should levy mature citizens and companies. In the modern world, income tax would undoubtedly help balance the power between different social classes as the rich have to pay much more money to state revenue than the poor. Furthermore, public money financially supports the poverty, the homeless and the unemployed besides providing governmental pension payments for retired employees. Although varied people would argue imposing tax may shortly weaken the economy due to huge charges on the rich, other social classes would be benefited and motivated to contribute more in addition to dealing with the inequality effectively.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that it is essential for every mature adult to pay tax to the state instead of saving all the money they earn in order to improve public conditions as well as tackling wealth inequality. It is also recommended that varied major issues about politics and corruption should be eliminated so that tax can play a more major part in developing society.

This is my essay and I am hoping to see your feedback, suggestions and the band score if possible. Thanks in advance!

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: EDUCATION-TEACHERS (both views and opinion) [2]

teaching not only academic knowledge?

Some people believe that teachers should be responsible for teaching students the difference between right and wrong. Others say that teachers should only teach academic subjects.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In general, education has been considered to broaden knowledge for humankind over the past decades. As a result, varied people believe tutors should only focus on academic lessons at school, however, they also do play a vital role in imparting ethical values to learners. This essay will discuss both views and express the author's opinion.

Without a doubt, moral lessons would significantly instruct students to avoid detrimental actions in society. Specifically, morality teaches human beings to distinguish good things from harmful ones, furthermore, to know how to build and maintain social relationships in real life. For instance, during school time, tutors can educate children on how to communicate with adults and the elderly in the right manner. Meanwhile, it is a popular belief that academic subjects are more practical in higher education and future occupations, however, it is inevitable that teaching morality effectively prevents disrespectful actions throughout the whole life.

Equally important, being taught the difference between right and wrong at a young age can help children maintain that good behavior in the future. It is obvious that children learn from surrounding people since childhood and they are unlikely to change it when they grow up. On the other hand, many would argue parents and family can also be responsible for morally instructing children, hence, it is said that teachers should focus more on academic lessons as subject specialists, instead. Nevertheless, dedicated teachers would support imparting ethical values to children in order to help students realize and know how to treat others in the right manner.

In conclusion, I think dedicated teaches should not only provide students with the academic knowledge but also educate them to become good people in society. It is also recommended that parents and relatives should also significantly contribute to teaching children the difference between right and wrong alongside tutors.

I will be glad to see your feedback and suggestions. Thanks in advance!

Writing Feedback / Learning about the past IELTS task 2 [2]

Some people believe that history has little to tell us. Other people believe that people must have a knowledge of history in order to understand the present.

Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

In general, learning about the past has been a colossal issue over the past decades. While varied people argue that it has few impacts on modern society, it is also a popular belief that historical knowledge significantly contributes to the understanding of the present world. In this essay, I will discuss both views and explain the importance of history.

Without a doubt, learning about the past helps explain complicated things in the modern world. There is no way of escaping from the fact that history teaches people why and how society has developed since the ancient age. Through history lessons, children know the way scientists came up with and invented significant innovations, such as smartphones or the Internet. On the other hand, varying people would argue having a knowledge of past discoveries only reminds humankind of the old days without benefits. However, studying history does also play a vital role in motivating human beings to enhance even more by informing them about inspiring explorations in the past.

Equally important, history provides learners with invaluable experience. Studying the past does not only help people realize and avoid worthless failures but also points out key factors to success. For instance, society would continue making harmful economic decisions unless they learn from the causes of global recessions the world had faced. Meanwhile, directly trying to face problems is also considered a possible solution and in this case, historical knowledge has little to tell humans. Nevertheless, this would be much more time-consuming as people could have to retry many times in comparison to drawing experience from similar situations in the past.

In conclusion, while it is a popular belief that history has little influence on modern people, many would consider its significant contributions to the understanding of the present. In my opinion, I believe studying the past does play a major part in explaining things and giving experience.

I'd love to see your feedback and suggestions a lot. Thanks in advance!

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: ADVERTISING AND ADOLESCENTS (both views and opinion) [NEW]

persuading children to buy things

Some advertisers have increased the amount of money they spend trying to persuade children to buy snacks, toys and other goods. Parents object to such pressure on their children, but advertisers claim there is useful information in these advertisements.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In general, advertising has increasingly played a vital role in improving product sales over the past decades. While it is a popular belief that commercials negatively influence children, advertisers would argue that they broaden customers' minds. In my opinion, I agree with the second view due to their supply of varied essential information.

Without a doubt, through advertisements, people are informed about major safety details. To be specific, they would be aware of manuals and danger warnings of the goods, which does not only instruct viewers to use the products effectively but also educate them on how to avoid varied accidents, such as electrical fires or system errors. On the other hand, varying people argue that advertisers spend more time exaggerating how quality their manufacture is than informing so-called crucial safety information in their commercials. However, the government has increasingly restricted such overstatement before allowing it to be publicized, therefore, it is inevitable that advertising significantly contributes to expanding customers' knowledge.

Furthermore, commercialization effectively informs people about the costs to consider before buying the goods. Undoubtedly, customers always want to buy the most affordable and quality products, hence, they expect advertisers to tell them about the prices and discounts. Marketing companies do emphasize how inexpensive their products could be and how economical buying them is. Meanwhile, discounts are considered temporary or available with certain hidden conditions, as a result, many would say that advertising only persuades children to buy their goods without fully equipping them with necessary details. However, the authority also verifies such information more carefully and enhances advertisers to inform more correct news about their products.

In conclusion, due to important safety details and price information provided by commercials, I believe advertising plays a fundamental part in providing people with useful knowledge. It is also recommended that the government should regulate irresponsible advertisers more strictly to benefit the customers even more.

Hello, this is my essay and I am really looking forward to seeing your feedback and suggestions.

(To the moderators) By the way, I was reported to plagiarize the comments and I would be sorry for that. I am not sure but maybe because I have seen similar mistakes, so I commented quite like you guys. But I promise to have more useful comments, so I hope to be forgiven. Thanks a lot!