Undergraduate / The dreaded "tell us about yourself" question.... [4]

Hi guys! Hoping I can get your input on a few things. This is for an early decision application to a small, liberal arts college. I'm mostly interested in the last paragraph. The way I tie in the school feels contrived, and yet this was the smoothest of all the different ways I tried it. I think the same things are going around and around in my head, lol. Thanks in advance for any feedback.

Essay #1: Tell us about yourself and your interests; indicate your strengths and weaknesses; and describe your educational and career goals, the kind of person you wish to become and how ______ can help you reach these goals.

When I got my own room for the first time at age sixteen, the first thing I did was purchase myself a bookcase. The rooms shared with my sister had always been too small to hold much more than beds and dressers, and I desperately wanted a place to hold the books and personal items that for so long had been condemned to boxes stacked neatly in closets. The bookcase itself is not much. Bought at IKEA, I somehow managed to put it together myself - evidenced by the fact that the top shelf rests just a little higher on the right than on the left. But ordinary as it is, my bookcase is the catch-all for the things I absolutely cannot lose, and the keeper of all things important to me.

Lined up on the top shelf are my all-time favorite books. From Black Beauty to Liberty and Tyranny, these are the titles that have had the biggest impact on the person I am today - a major feat for the books of a self-proclaimed book addict. On the shelf just below is an engraved plaque that serves as a constant reminder to "shoot for the moon." The plaque leans against, and ultimately hides a number of confidence-boosting self-help books, the presence of which I am both embarrassed and comforted by. A number of language and travel guides are settled just below that on the third shelf, symbols of what I hope is a future with the U.S. State Department. The books range from easy French children's books to the Russian language edition of Dr. Zhivago, a book I will someday be able to read.

Over the years, my bookcase has acquired the random objects reflective of life's experiences. Draped over the top of the case is the West Ham scarf I trekked all over London looking for. I insisted on purchasing it despite the shop keeper's attempt to convince me that Manchester United was the "more winly" team. I guess I'm just one to root for the underdog. Pinned to a framed picture of my horse, Joey, is the first ribbon we ever won together. It's not the prettiest, or our best, but that cherished fourth-place ribbon represents the value of hard-work, commitment, friendship, and loyalty - all lessons Joey has taught me over the years.

I think my bookcase is a good representation of who I am. Just like my bookcase, my personality is full of seemingly random elements whose only unifying force is the fact that they all belong to me. It will be both the experiences I have had, and the challenges I have yet to face, that will further develop who I am and allow me to succeed at a place that values curiosity and ambition, integrity and social concern. ________is that place.

Undergraduate / Essay Explaining My Drop In GPA [8]

I am using this prompt to explain a recent tough semester I had, and how I learned from the experience. As with my other essay (please read thread "the dreaded tell us about yourself essay...), I am mostly concerned with my closing paragraph. This is only a first draft, but all comments are appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Essay #2: What is good character and why is it important? You may cite examples from literature, the arts, science, politics, history, athletics, business, education or your own personal experiences.

My GPA Drop

Though I have only come to realize it in more recent years, it is my father who has played the biggest role in instilling in me the meaning and importance of good character. When a dying bird was found in our backyard, it was my dad who wrapped it in a towel and sat with it next to the warm fireplace, but me who learned the value of compassion. When I threw the ball that shattered the kitchen window, it was the quiet disappointment in my dad's eyes that made me confess and realize the importance of honesty. His words of encouragement during the days of middle school bullying were a lesson on integrity, and later, when our family of four became a family of three, it was my father's devotion to my younger sister and I that taught me loyalty.

On February 6, 2009 my father was diagnosed with colon cancer. I did what I could to help. I drove my sister to and from school and work, accompanied my father to various doctor appointments, and took on grocery lists and laundry piles. While he recovered from one surgery after another, I maintained a thirty hour work week while attending classes.

Some of my newfound responsibilities were easier to juggle than others. I may have developed an ease for whipping up quick, healthy dinners, but keeping up with my academics was another matter ...

Undergraduate / double or single-spaced & attach my resume? - Application Questions... [9]

Hi!

I am hoping you guys will know the answers to a few questions I have about the application process. As a transfer student, it has been a few years since going through this the first time, and I no longer have access to a counselor that can help me.

1. I will be sending my application rather than submitting it online, and my essays will be on separate sheets as instructed. However, should I submit my essays double-spaced, or single? Also, should I just format it: name/SSN, question (in bold?), answer?

2. There is a space on the application to list my achievements, awards, etc. But it also says that a resume can be submitted. Can I just write in the space "Please see attached resume?", or should I list achievements, *and* send my resume? If not, do I literally just list the different achievements?

Hmmm...I thought I had one or two more, but I seem to be blanking. Any help with the above issues is greatly appreciated. I'm applying early decision to a small liberal arts college, and I want to do everything right, lol.

Undergraduate / "Peace Lines" - Significant Experience Essay [6]

Essay #2: Discuss how an event, novel or experience has significantly influenced you or changed your life.

The guide book said it wasn't to be missed. And so, on a recent trek through Ireland, I made a stop in Belfast to experience one of the city's famous Black Cab Tours. Over the course of only a few hours, I saw the row houses of Protestant Shankill Road draped in Union Jacks, listened to stories of the hunger strikers from the Catholic neighborhoods, and awed at the impressively elaborate murals celebrating revolutionaries on both sides of the religious paradigm. Though I had familiarized myself with Belfast's "Troubles" before arriving in the city, it wasn't until we reached our final stop on the tour that I realized just how naïve I had been to assume that reading a book meant I understood the religious and political strife that for so long had defined an entire population.

If "good fences make good neighbors," Belfast's Peace Line is the King of all fences. Built in layers - chain link sits atop steel, brick, and iron - the Peace Line is a 25 foot-high wall meant to minimize intercommunal violence between Catholics and Protestants. Standing in the shadows of the towering wall, I struggled to make sense of my conflicting thoughts and feelings. I watched as a little boy dodged between two parked cars to retrieve a soccer ball, and cringed to think of the role car bombs had played at the height of "The Troubles." Everything around me seemed to suggest a city on the mend, yet I couldn't shake the feeling that I had somehow stumbled upon the dirty secret outsiders weren't supposed to see. When I asked my tour guide about the possible destruction of the wall, he responded by pointing to a mural painted on the end of a nearby row house. I stared at the life-like face in the painting. With his toothy grin and hat turned backwards, I thought he looked like someone I could see in one of my classes back home. This young man had been killed only last year, long after the supposed end of "The Troubles."

Viewing the world from Belfast's Peace Line is only one of multiple experiences that has not only provided me with a better understanding and appreciation of my own country, but also presented new questions about the world in which I live. It is my desire to know the answers to these questions that influenced my decision to major in Political Science, a degree with which I hope to work for the U.S. Department of State, particularly in Foreign Service.

I still wonder why the beautiful city of Belfast is scarred by religious and political strife. I yearn to know why race and religion remain such powerful discriminates. But by studying Political Science at Hillsdale College, a place whose very existence proves that answers to these questions are possible, I know I will be on the right track to understanding the world I am so fascinated by, and making the difference I so badly want to make.

Just a quick note....Founded just before the Civil War, Hillsdale College was one of the first colleges to accept people of all races, religions, and sexes. The line in the last paragraph is a reference to this. (This is something they are very proud of, and so will know what it is I am referencing)