Undergraduate / University of Washington - Seattle Transfer Prompt. "Rising Endeavors " [2]

Personal Element Prompt

*I need someone to edit my personal statement! Please Help! Three things they'll be looking for is content (answering prompt), organization, and grammar. Here it is! down below, also ignore the title. Haven't made one yet.*

Challenges. At a very young age I dealt with persecution towards my race, adversity, and the separation of my family. But throughout all of these hardships, I rose out of my suffering, and became a more rounded individual intellectually, socially, and most importantly, personally. I have changed, for the better.

When I was young, I craved the approval of my peers. However, being of full-blooded Vietnamese descent, I was harassed countless times, so I ostracized myself from society. Like a defenseless animal, I could do nothing, but sit back and be tormented. My parents were born and raised in Vietnam, after moving to the United States they were constantly puzzled by the peculiar American culture. They could not grasp the concept of racism or prejudice aim at our family, and neither could I. Having only completed some parts of high school and never attended college, my parents could do nothing but watch.

However, being oppressed and in poverty was the least of my worries. When the two marriages and divorces of my mother occurred, it took a toll on me; I was damaged at a young age. In a Vietnamese cultured, education is valued to the highest degree. We knew that people who received an education had more opportunity in society. However, due to the racism towards my family, poverty, and my mother's divorces, I fell into a spiraling depression. I coped with my misery with drugs such as meth and marijuana during my younger years, and my grades fell behind from elementary school up until the beginning high school. My academics were once so appalling that I was held back a grade.

As I grew older, I realized that being depressed did nothing but harm me that I wanted to break the chain of grief that overshadowed my family. I was tired of being disconsolate with my life; I was going to make a change. When high school rolled around, I took a risk and jumped into uncharted water with both feet in; I joined an advanced acting group called Image Factory. From that moment on, I became an advocate for promoting diversity and equality to all ethnicities throughout high school, while expressing my individuality openly. Though this experience, by interacting with people of different cultures, I became more thoughtful, accepting individuals for who they are and their beliefs. I realized the value of an education and the promising future I could create for myself, and more importantly, my family.

During my years at Centennial high school, my academics rose exponentially. Along the way I found loving friends who accepted me for me. Moreover, I discovered a love and passion in pantomime. In fact, throughout my years in Image Factory I was called, "The Pantomime King!" I competed in Idaho's State and District Drama competition, and every year I placed in finals or semi-finals. I was truly a force to be reckoned with! When I finally graduated from Centennial high school, I had 25 college credits underneath my belt and was noted with "Higher Honors." I was finally happy. Subsequently, I preceded my education further by attending Boise State University as a first generation college student in my family, while upholding two jobs. From this overall experience, I became a more rounded person academically, individually, and culturally. These are some of many attributes I would contribute to the university community as I pursue my career in wildlife and conservation biologist.

Recently, I have been volunteering at Idaho's Humane Society and Petsmart's Adoption Center nurturing and caring for strays, and gaining skills when interacting with different animals. Promoting and helping families choosing their perfect lifelong companion is what I personally love to do. Some ongoing tasks I was assigned was to keep the hygiene of the animals in mint condition, sanitizing and maintaining infections to a minimum, and replacing murky water or nonedible food, maybe even both! These organizations are some of many in which I will participate in order to advance my career as a wildlife and conservation biologist. I will do everything I can to make it a reality, and I know that the University of Washington will help me achieve it. As a biologist entering in this field, I must not only take animals in consideration, but my own community as well.

Social interacting and communal involvement is what I am hoping to contribute at University of Washington. Extracurricular that I am involved in are producing cinematography in the film club, and participating in simplistic dancing and theatrical productions, which I plan to continue in my next establishment. I hope to continue my passion for pantomime. Crafting the sounds of the serene violins, interlocking with the soft harmonies of the guitar as the cello weave its way around the prevailing drumbeats, and a comforting melody is constructed is something always I love to do. I am truly infatuated with pantomimes.

Aside from my extracurricular activities, I plan to volunteer for the Seattle Humane societies, finding homes for strays, and partaking in UW's spring break alternative clubs, as I have done before at my institute. Most importantly, I recently joined the Idaho's Meth project, educating young minds about the dangers of meth. I intended to join the Seattle Meth project at my future community. There are countless of things I shall be involve in during my upcoming years at University of Washington, these are some of many in which I will contribute to the university life.

I plan to enrich my college experience to the fullest extent, as well as creating cherished memories along the way. I hope that I will be able reciprocate my gratitude to my future institution as I pursue a bachelor's, a master's, and a Ph.D. degree in science. Promoting and encouraging diversity, raising the academic bar, and partaking in various extracurricular activities, as well as communal involvement are some of many attributes I will contribute to the establishment. I would be an honored and proud student at the University of Washington - Seattle.

Scholarship / Leadership, Service, and Success Scholarship [2]

Please help me edit this! Does it fit the prompt? Does it answer every thing? How strong is it? Right now it is only 570 words (or something like that, limit is 600) so I can add so more detail! Any grammatical errors? Thanks for helping me! :D

This program's mission is to educate individuals for leadership, service, and success in shaping our interdependent world. What do you plan to do during the voyage to ensure that you embody the principles of leadership, service, and success?

Challenges. At a very young age I dealt with persecution towards my race, adversity, and the separation of my family. But throughout all of these hardships, I rose out of my suffering, and became a more rounded individual intellectually, socially, and most importantly, personally, changing for the better.

When I was young, I craved the approval of my peers. However, being of full-blooded Vietnamese descent, lead to harassment countless times, so I ostracized myself from society; coping my misery with drugs such as meth and marijuana during my younger years. Growing up, I realized that being depressed did nothing but harm me; determined to make a change. When high school rolled around, I took a risk and jumped into uncharted water with both feet in; joining an advanced acting group called Image Factory. From that moment on, I became an advocate and a leader for promoting diversity and equality to all ethnicities throughout high school, while expressing my individuality openly. Through this experience, by interacting with people of different cultures, I am now more thoughtful, accepting individuals for who they are and their beliefs. During my voyage at Semester at Sea Summer 2012, I will embody the principle of diversity through my fellow colleagues, as well as heightening the importance of cultural equality. These are some of many attributes that I would contribute to the SAS voyage summer of 2012, as I pursue a career in wildlife and conservation biologist.

Upon my arrival at the SAS Explorer, as well as the future disembarkment of countries, I will challenge myself to experience and understand the knowledge, as well as cultures values that my future colleagues, professors, and community will bestow upon me. In addition, with a fresh new perspective of the world around me, I will be more successful academically and culturally. Likewise, attaining the skills to becoming a global ambassador to my institution and future establishments. Surely being connected with the surrounding community and the world will be a salubrious college experience for me as well as my future colleagues.

Social interacting and communal involvement is what I will contribute during my voyage. Extracurricular that I am involved in are producing cinematography in the film club, and participating in simplistic dancing and theatrical productions, which I plan to continue during my study abroad. Being involved in Semester at Sea International Student Association and Amnesty International, including other ethnic or environmental related organizations is what I hope to aspire. Aside from extracurricular, I will partake in community related activities. I have already participated in numerous fundraisers event and volunteer facilities in my hometown, such as trick-or-treat for tots, food drives, silent auction, the humane society, adoption center, and many more. There are countless things I will contribute to my upcoming voyage at SAS by being involved in the community and the establishment itself, leading to a successful career and life.

With the seamless combination of perseverance, cultural immersion, and communal contributions, my career becomes more attainable. I plan to enrich my voyage to the fullest extent and I hope that I will be able express my gratitude to Semester at Sea and to my corresponding alumni in the future. Promoting and encouraging diversity, integrating leadership, and partaking in various extracurricular activities, as well as communal involvement are some of many attributes that I will contribute to SAS. With the help of the Semester at Sea, I will be one step closer achieving my dream: becoming a wildlife and conservation biologist.

Scholarship / Study abroad SAS - Merit Scholarship, Community Service/ Most Meaningful Achievement [2]

Main things I am concern about. Does it answer the prompt? Grammatical wise. Strong? Says what it needs to say. Please tell me anything you notice that is wrong or anything that could strengthen it! Thanks. Also, this is for Semester at Sea!

Merit - 400 to 600 word limit - Community service can be a valuable part of the college experience. If you were to devote one year of service to a volunteer project, what would it be, and what would you hope to accomplish?

Animals have unendingly fascinated me. Growing up, and living on a compressed animal farm with an Asian household of nine, I encountered creatures, great and small, and most of them were dangerous. At a young age, I was trained first aid in order to treat my siblings if they were ever injured. Carefully restoring my sibling's fractured bones or cuts were some of many ongoing responsibilities I was assigned when my parents were not around.

Assuredly, as the years passed by I honed my abilities and learned how to treat animals as well. I can recall my first time taking care of an animal. The canine gazed at me with hollow eyes, quavering around with broken hind legs, desperately trying to take shelter from a hailstorm. He whimpered and became petrified as we made contact, but gradually he regained his composure. I gently stroked his patched, drenched fur and wrapped his fractured limbs. Even though he died a few days later, we christened him Crispin. It is comforting to know his last moments were spent well. Animals have always been a passion of mine, and becoming a wildlife and conservation biologist is my dream. If I could devote one year of service to a volunteer project, it would be wildlife conservation.

Pursing this further, there are numerous of non-profit organization that plan to I participate in the future to contribute to rehabilitation of nature, as I have done in the past. One particular program that I plan to be involved in is the International Student Volunteer. ISV has especially caught my interest because of the extensive variety of opportunities for individuals to immerse themselves to various international volunteer programs. ISV offers communal contribution such as environmental management, children's program, community development, and conservation of habitats.

Since the mass increase of population and urban development has significantly increased globally, the wildlife protection in countries such as South Africa, Ecuador, and Thailand are some of many that has been threatened. Practices such as deforestation, farming, over-grazing and development are leading to irreversible changes-soil compaction, erosion, desertification, and modification of local climatic settings. Subsequently, habitats will be lost and forcing the rapid extinction of species.

As third world countries civilizations progresses, buildings and roads are occupying and overlapping areas that were once homes for creatures, great and small. As a result, these homeless critters are either hunted or caged. What I hope to accomplish is to participate in wildlife protection organizations is to develop environmental farming practice where the human population will not encroach on the habitats of animals, allowing the landscape to flourish. In addition, by volunteering at ISV wildlife care and rehabilitation facilities I will not only have the opportunity to care for wounded creatures, but also be edifying people to learn how to live with their ecosystem, and the creatures that inhabit them more mutually; creating sustainable living. Integrating and promoting the basic concept of reduce, reuse, and recycle in the local community could vastly save environmental contamination and destruction. Most importantly however, spreading awareness about the habitat extinction and the species that inhabit them, are vital for a salubrious environment. These are some of many significant objectives I am expecting to accomplish.

To recapitulate, I will to become a wildlife and conservation biologist someday. It is not a matter of "if" I could devote my time to nature protection and preservation, it the matter of "when" I will. Animals have always been a passion of mine and Semester at Sea will help me achieve my dream: becoming a wildlife and conservation biologist.

Scholarship / Devote one year to communal service and most meaningful accomplishment - Merit Award [2]

*Please help me with these two essays (long and short ones)!!! Grammar good? Does it fit the prompt? Any feedback will do!*

Merit - 400 to 600 word limit - Community service can be a valuable part of the college experience. If you were to devote one year of service to a volunteer project, what would it be, and what would you hope to accomplish?

Nature has unendingly captivated me. I remember my first time contributing to wildlife conservation work. The sun was illuminating the sublime prairie. I was with my fellow classmates and our task was to replant the MacFarlane's Four-O' clock flower, a type of species whose existence is threatened in Boise, Idaho. The workload was extensive and difficult, but I valued every minute of it. Feeling the loam as I firmly pressed my hands to the ground, allowing the grass to fill the empty gaps between my fingers, and helping wounded animals along the way is something I could not get enough of. From that moment on, I knew what I wanted to be in life. Becoming a wildlife and conservation biologist is my dream. If I could devote one year of service to a volunteer project, it would be wildlife management.

For me, it is not a matter of "if" I could devote my time to nature protection; it is the matter of "when" I will. I plan to contribute to the rehabilitation of nature via many non-profit organizations. One particular program that I plan to be involved in is the International Student Volunteers. ISV has especially caught my interest because of the extensive opportunities they provide to individuals for immersion in international volunteer programs-a perfect fit for someone like me who wants to contribute to the environment, globally. The International Student Volunteer organization offers community contributions such as environmental management, children's programs, infrastructure development, and conservation of habitats.

The mass increase of population and urban development has significantly increased globally. Wildlife protection is needed in countries such as South Africa, Ecuador, and Thailand where many habitats have been threatened. Practices such as over-grazing, deforestation, and urban development are leading to irreversible changes-soil compaction, modification of local climatic settings, desertification, and erosion. Subsequently, habitats are being lost, forcing the rapid extinction of species.

As third world countries industrialize, buildings and roads are occupying and overlapping areas that were once homes for creatures. As a result, these homeless species are either hunted or caged. What I hope to accomplish is to participate in wildlife protection organizations that develop environmental farming practices where the human population will not encroach on the habitats of animals, allowing both the wildlife and landscape to flourish.

By volunteering at ISV wildlife care and their rehabilitation facilities, I will not only have the opportunity to care for wounded creatures, but also be edifying people to learn how to live harmoniously and sustainably within their ecosystem. Integrating and promoting the basic concept of reduce, reuse, and recycle in the local community could vastly save environmental contamination and destruction. Likewise I will be encouraging sustainable drinking water and its fundamental role in human and nature to the community. Teaching young minds the importance of water conservation in term will play a reciprocal role in a healthier environment. Most importantly however, spreading and raising awareness about the habitat extinction and the species that reside within them are vital for a salubrious environment. These are some of the many significant objectives I am hoping to accomplish, creating a better future.

Attending Semester at Sea will expand my comprehension of animals and ecosystems in a way that no other study abroad program can compete with. Since SAS is a multi-country program, I will be exposed to several unique environments. Likewise, I will obtain the knowledge needed to be successful in my career. Nature as well as animals has always been my passion and Semester at Sea will help me achieve my dream: becoming a wildlife and conservation biologist.

Merit - 200 word limit - Describe your most meaningful achievement and how it relates to your participation and success on Semester at Sea.

Actions speak louder than words. "The Pantomime King," is what my peers in my acting troupe, Image Factory called me and that is how I discovered my identity; what made me extraordinary. Pantomime: the art of silent acting that portrays a story using action and music alone. It was something everyone was disastrous at, except for me. The first time my peers ever exalted me was when I performed my first pantomime piece called "Magical Origami." I can remember it lucidly, standing on that bare stage, my body motionless. As the serene violins entered I tilted my head up and glided across the stage. When the strings began to interlock with the soft harmonies of the guitar, I opened a box of origami paper and began folding it into something unreal. Then as the cello weaved around the prevailing drumbeats, the pleated dragon came to life; a seamless, comforting melody and story was fabricated. Constructing that piece was the most elating moments of my life because I received no assistance but still triumphed. My actions alone created my self-identity and by attending Semester at Sea, in conjunction, I can broaden my horizon of the world and most importantly, myself.

Undergraduate / I was an international volunteer @ Jamaican Spring Break;Common App, Extracurricular [10]

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum-200 words average). I am at 999 characters! Whew!

Bella smiled, I grinned. I adored her hazel shaded eyes; she had a fondness of my checkered scarf. She asked me to stay--I never wanted to leave. Her tiny hand wrapped around my fingers, while she nibbled on my scarf as we walked alongside the pavement. It was our last day together; my last day in Jamaica, and all she wanted to do was to hold my hand. As my bus arrived, she curled her arms around my waist: hugged me so tightly the rhythm of our heartbeats sync. I wrote my number, email, and address; everything I could think of so that we can keep in touch. I haven't seen her since, but I miss her greatly. I went to Jamaica, Spring Break, as an international volunteer: renovating buildings, doubling the school's size, and constructing a cafeteria. The work was rewarding, but the locals made it worthwhile. I love volunteering, especially aboard. Uncovering new cultures and aiding others is what makes it amazing, but creating undying amity--incredible. I am still in touch with her today.

~What do you think? Any helpful suggestions?

Undergraduate / I will grow, learn, and become successful; Transfer- Why Connecticut College? [3]

Prompt: As a transfer applicant, you have experienced a specific college environment, similar to and yet also different from Connecticut College. What is it about Connecticut College, specifically, that appeals to you? (Note: you should address your reasons for seeking to transfer in the essay on the Common Application for Transfers. Do not provide the same response here.)

5. I am a person who spends his summer, fall, winter, and spring break volunteering locally or abroad. It has molded me to the humble guy I am now today. I feel nothing but gratitude and happiness helping others. With over 50 organizations in New London, I cannot wait to spend my time, learn, and grow even more.

4. The opportunity to connect with not only my with peers is significant to me, but having a unique bond with my professors is essential. With the student-faculty ratio is 9:1, professors will know me by my name and will have every desire for me to succeed.

3. Shrouded by the nature, enveloped by the pristine and beautiful campus of Connecticut College, this university stands above the rest. With its New England charm, collective community, and copious diversity of the student body, Connecticut College appeals to me in ways most universities cannot.

2. Besides flourishing academics and rich resources, I have heard nothing but positive things about Connecticut's close-knit community and its electrifying traditions. Eclipse Weekend, Batch Blast, Camelympics, Floralia, Festivus, Harvestfest, etc. I've heard it all! I cannot wait to become part of it.

1. With such a high acceptance rate (80%) of college seniors entering into the medical field or graduate school from Connecticut College, there is no doubt a bright future is here. I can clearly see my last few years of college at this university: where I will grow, learn, and become successful in my career path.

Undergraduate / Bless them!; Transfer Grinnell College(Place, People, Culture) [2]

1. One of the fascinating qualities of Grinnell College is the diversity of its student body. Grinnell students come from around the world and from innumerable socioeconomic, religious, and cultural backgrounds. What place, people, or culture would you like to get to know better and why? (Approximately 250 words)

The clock struck 12:00 am; nine bell chimes resonated throughout the night. I was a child back then, but I knew it was that time of the month. My heart started to race and my face flushed with color. I would sit at the bottom of the stairs gazing at my mother's ritualistic traditions around the corner of the steps. She did not mind. At the altar, bowls of rice in every shade of color imaginable, freshly plucked fruits, and succulent slabs of meat would be laid out with such meticulousness; it was alluring. In front of the golden Buddha statue, my mother would fall on her knees, gracefully and bow: praying for good fortune and everlasting life for her family. She susurrus,

"Ban phĆ°á»›c cho họ."

-- Bless them.

I have always had a curious eye for other culture, but none more than my own. Growing up, I embraced the American culture more than that of my parents. They wanted to raise me as an American so that I could fit into the social norms that society dictates. Although I do not question my mother's parenting styles, I'm left with a hollow space inside, yearning to discover my roots. I am opposite of my parents in every way. They communicate assertively while I am passive-aggressive; my voice is thundering in each spoken sentence and their voices are soft and soothing. There are a wide number of cultures I would love to learn and explore, but before I can learn from other cultures, I must understand myself. I don't know how to end it. Any suggestions? Thanks. I know I want to end it with the sentence below. However, I am just not sure what else I should say. Help. Thanks!

I eagerly wait for the clock to strike 12:00 am once more.