Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Some people prefer travelling alone; 'meet other traveler' [12]

Travelling is becoming an essential demand of every people. They can take trips by many ways such as trips with tour guides or trips planned by their selves. Personally, I prefer travelling in a packed tour because the tour is planned so I just enjoy my trip and I can meet other travelers during the trip.

First of all, the tour is planned by the travel agency so I just enjoy my trip. The place I go, the food I eat, the hotel I live in, all of them are well-organized and I do not need to worry about anything related to the trip. I just enjoy every moment of the trip and follow the plan of the tour guide. For example, I booked a tour to DaLat last year in a designed tour. I only needed to pay money to the travel agency and then I would have the plan and the rout. I had a wonderful trip and did not think about where to go and what to eat. The trip lasted for four days and I went to many famous interesting places in DaLat such as the Love Valley, the city flower garden, etc. My experience of going in a packed trip shows that going in a trip which is planned by the tourist company is the best way to feel relaxed during the tour.

In addition, when going in a tour with group of people, I will meet other travelers and make friends with them. You can have many friends after the tour and share your feeling with them as well. For instance, my mom and dad had a tour to Thailand last month and they told me that they met other parents whose children are at the same age with me. They became friends and usually talked about the experience in teaching the children. My parents said that there are many useful ways for them to apply on me. After the trip, my parents and other travelers sometimes assemble in a coffee shop at weekend to talk about interesting stories. In short, when you travel in group, you can have new friends and the friendship will last even after the trip.

To sum up, I prefer travelling in group to travelling alone, because of the planned trip and new friends. More and more people nowadays have the travel agency plan their trips and they feel very interested in going in the trips like these.

Writing Feedback / Do you think in mordern society, wearing formally is still important? [5]

People nowadays are concerned more about the clothes they wear. Some people enjoy wearing formally, while others like to wear the casual clothes. Personally, I think that wearing politely is still critical in our recent society because wearing formally can create a good image of you in front of other people and wearing politely is a way to show the respect to the opposite people.

First of all, wearing formally create a better image of you. When you wear some formal clothes such as suits, traditional Vietnamese dress, people in front of you will think that you can be trusted and you are a reliable person. For example, when I went to an interview to apply for an engineer job, I wore a formal suit; the interviewers looked at me and nod his head. I knew that I have created a reliable image and it was easier for me to communicate with him during the interview. Your image will depend on the clothes you choose.

In addition, wearing politely is a way to show respect to the opposite people. Imagine that when you meet your costumer in business, your wear a T-shirt and shorts, it is not acceptable. Meeting an important, special costumer, people should wear a shirt or a suit. These clothes show that you want to meet them and you are appreciating for the coming of them. This is the first step to make impression on the people. As I recall, my brother has told me a story about his own experience. At the first time he met his costumers, he wore shirt and jeans, the casual clothes of a teenager. As the result, he could not sign the agreement and he realized that his first impression is really bad because of the clothes. He told me that it is very important to wear formally.

To sum up, wearing formally is still important in the society because it creates a better image of you in front of people and shows the respect of you on them.

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Choosing a job is a critical decision in the life of every person. [4]

Choosing a job is a critical decision in the life of every person. Many parents want their children to have similar jobs with them, while the children may not want to have these jobs. Personally, I agree that children should choose careers that are similar to their parents' careers, because children can gain useful help from their parents and they easily follow the steps of their parents in the future.

First of all, the children can have advice from their parents. Because of the similar careers, parents can share their own experience in jobs with their children, which is like that a skillful worker is teaching a new one. For example, my brother is an engineer, which is similar to my father. Last month, he had to deal with a project in his company and he got stuck in a problem. With the help of my father, he overcame it and had a suitable solution for the problem. Because my father is accustomed to the career so the advice of him is really essential and other members in my family cannot help my brother as useful as a skillful worker like my father. The story of my father supports that the similarity in job of the parents and their children will bring some benefits while working.

In addition, children can easily follow the steps of their parents in the future if they choose the similar jobs with them. If the parents is holding an important position in his job and flourishing in their majors, the children may inherit this success in the future. For instance, a man next to my house was a successful businessman and he has worked as a CEO in DIC, a famous company in Vungtau. Moreover, his son is well-qualified and has studied master degree in America in business field so after his father has retired, he can easily gain his father's position. In short, the prestige and the steps of the parents can be easily followed by their children if they have similar jobs.

To sum up, I think that it is better for children to choose careers that are similar to their parents' careers because they can have useful advice from their parents and they can follow their steps in the future. Nowadays, more and more parents are channeling their children in the road of choosing similar jobs with them.

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] three-day or five-day working. Help me correct this essay. [3]

Working hours are different from each company. Some companies offer three-day working for their workers, while others have five-day working with shorter hours per day. Personally, I agree that it is more enjoyable to have a job which has three-day working than to have a five-day working jobs, because I can concentrate more on the job and I can have more free time at weekend.

First of all, with longer hours a day, I can concentrate more on the job. I find hard to solve all the work of one day in a short period of time, so it is necessary to work in long hours a day. For example, now I am working in an oil company which offers the employees seven hours working a day. Workers can have a lunch in the office and rest a little bit before working in the afternoon. With much time working, I can solve all the contracts of the consumers in a day without leaving them for the day after. I do not need to bring my work back to my home to finish in the evening. The productivity is also increasing a lot. In short, workers can focus on the job more when working long hours a day and as the result, the productivity of the job will be high.

In addition, working only three days a week, I can have more free time at weekend. Workers who work five days a week only have two remain days: Saturday and Sunday to entertain, while the employees working three days a week have more relaxing days. For instance, my partner in my company has family with a son. With the working schedule like my company has, he told me that he had more time playing and taking care of his wife as well as his son. Moreover, because of more hours per day, he solves all his work in the working days, he spend all four days left for his family and for his own interests. The story of my friend shows that workers can easily care for their families and entertain themselves during four days of weekend when they are working three days a week.

To sum up, I agree that it is better to have a career where I work only three days a week for long hours, because I can focus more on the job and I can have more spare time at weekend. Three-day working jobs are becoming prevalent all over the world nowadays.

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Parents' involvement with their children's studies - Past Vs Present [4]

The society has been developing rapidly up to now. The result of this developing world is the ways parents taking care of their children, especially children's education. Personally, I agree that parents nowadays are concerned more about children's education than in the past, because the parents know what are good for their children and they want a better life in the future for their children.

First of all, parents nowadays are well-educated so they know what are suitable for their children. They have enough experience to decide which subjects, which schools, which teachers their children should study with. Parents in the past, they did not know a lot about the education, they just knew how to earn money to support their poor living condition. For example, my sister is now studying in the primary school and my mom and dad relate a lot to her studying at school. They have graduated from university and have completed all stages of Vietnamese education so they know what are good for my sister. They choose best school for her to study, they take her to school and choose extra classes for her to study. They know about the mark, the result of my sister at school. In contrast, my mother told me that when she was young, she was so lucky to go to school. My grandmother could not go to school in the past so she did not know anything about education. The only thing she could do is encouraging my mother to study hard. These two contrasting situation show us that parents who were studying a lot before are more involved in their children's education.

In addition, because of better living condition nowadays, parents do not worry about the contemporary life, so they want their children to have better life in the future. Parents nowadays do not need to work as hard as parents in the past, they do not worry about how to deal with the food. In order to have better life in the future, the children are forced to study under parents' control. For instance, my parents really want me to finish all the stages in Vietnamese education and can join in a prestigious university. On the other hand, my grandparents only want my mother to finish the secondary school because they did not have enough money to bring her to school. In short, because parents nowadays want their children to have better life in the future, they care more about children's education than in the past.

To sum up, I agree that parents nowadays are more involved in their children's education because they know what are best for their children and they want their children have good living condition in the future. Children nowadays are studying under the control of their parents.

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Integrated writing in toefl ibt.; Migration Hypothesis [3]

The reading and the lecture are attached with the essay

Both the passage and the lecture relate to the migration hypothesis, which says that the elephant-sized edmontosaurs survived the winter by migrating south. On the one hand, the passage mentions three reasons supporting this hypothesis, while the lecture refutes all these reasons by saying that they are not convincing.

First of all, the passage states that the edmontosaur's food supports the migration hypothesis. Edmontosuars only eat plants and because there would have been no plants in the North Slope winter, it proves that the edmontosaurs must have migrated to warmer area to find food. In contrast, the lecture disagrees by saying that the edmontosaurs did not migrate for food. North Slope's temperature during the winter was even higher than today. There was twenty four hour sun shining in the peak of summer, as the result, the plants would grow in good condition. Moreover, in the winter, edmontosaurs would live on the nutrient of dead plants.

In addition, the passage goes on to say that the edmontosaurs lived in herd. Many migratory animals such as buffalo, caribou also live in herd in order to coordinate their migration. On the other hand, the lecture emphasizes that the edmontosaurs lived in herd not because of migration, but in order to have the protection against the predators. The lecture also mentions the elks in America, which live in herb but they do not migrate.

Last but not least, the passage asserts that edmontosaurs were capable of migrating long distances. They could use their locomotive power to increase their speeds to move to warmer region. Nevertheless, the lecture disputes this point by claiming that the young edmontosaurs could not run at speeds up to forty-five kilometers per hour. These young edmontosaurs would slow the migrating process of the herd. As the result, the older ones did not leave the younger, so they would stay and survive during the winter in North Slope despite cold weather.

• 
  This is the reading
  

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Which is better: one, two close friends - a large number of casual acquaintances? [2]

Friends are very important to people's lives. Some people like having as many friends as possible, while others prefer having one or two close friends. In my perspective, I disagree that it is more beneficial to have a handle of best friends than to have a lot of acquaintances, because when we have a large number of casual friends, we will have a broad relationship and we will have more knowledge.

Initially, having a lot of friends enlarges our relationship. We can know a variety of people specializing in different majors such as teachers, doctors, students. A broad relationship is very useful for our jobs as well as our lives. For example, my brother has many friends who are working in different careers. When he needs a help, he can call one of his friends to help him. Last month, he was sick and he visited his friend who is a doctor working in LeLoi hospital. He did not need to wait for a long time like other people. He was easily cured and prescribed. Additionally, he also has a friend who is a teacher and his son is now studying with the help of that teacher. In short, having many casual acquaintances can create some benefits to our lives.

In addition, making friends with a large number of people, we will have more knowledge. We meet various people from workers to managers. Each person can teach you different aspects of life. For instance, I have a lot of friends studying in different majors in the university. Some are studying biology, others are studying architecture. From them, I can know more about the knowledge in different fields. With my friends who are studying biology, I can learn about animal's behaviors such as camouflage. From friends who will become an architect, I will know more about many styles of houses from modern to traditional styles. To recap, we can learn a lot from a large number of friends.

To sum up, I disagree that it is better to have one or two close friends than to have a large number of casual acquaintances. That is because having many friends, I can increase my relationship and have more knowledge from various major. I think that teenagers nowadays should make as many friends as possible.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: people can communicate faster and more conveniently using phone or e-mail [4]

These are my two essays of this topic. Hope to see your comment and suggest which one is better, thanks.
Nowadays, means of communication are diverse; people can either communicate by using letters, email, telephone or they can talk to each other face to face. Although each kind of communication has its own advantages and drawbacks, I disagree that it is better to use direct communication than to use indirect types of communication such as email, letter or telephone calls, because it is faster and more convenient when communicating by indirect ways.

Initially, using letters, email or telephone to transfer information to other people is faster than talking in person. With the development of technology, people only need devices as home such as computers, pens or telephone and they can communicate with other people in a second. Just need a click on computer's mouse and our emails are sent. For example, my father is a businessman and he usually uses his computer to compose emails to discuss problems with customers. He only needs less than one second to transfer a contract to his customer by using email. On the other hand, if he uses direct communication, he needs to go out and meet this person, which can take a lot of time. In short, with the development in technology, people can easily communicate with each other in a fastest way by using emails, letters and telephone calls.

In addition, talking directly is not as convenient as using other types of communication. If people want to talk face to face with other people, they need to have an appointment which must be on the time that all people are free. Then they must choose the place to meet and how to go to these places. It is not easy to come to a suitable decision for all people. In contrast, using telephone calls, letters or email, people only need to stay at home or stay in office. In some urgent situations and we need to communicate immediately, talk indirectly is not the best way. For instance, I am now studying in secondary school and when my mother drives me to school. My school usually has some special ceremonies when students can come home earlier than usual. On this situation, I just need to make a phone call by using my cell phone with my mother and tell her to pick me up earlier. That is really convenient; I cannot meet her directly in that situation. To recap, using emails, letters or telephone calls are more convenient than using face-to-face communication.

To sum up, I think that it is better to use other types of communication rather than talking face-to-face, because people can communicate faster and more conveniently. People now rely more on modern technology like computers or cell phones so the change from direct communication to indirect one is crucial and suitable.

There are many ways for people to communicate with each other. People can talk face to face or they can use other kinds of communication such as emails, letters or telephone calls. Each mean of communication has its own advantages and disadvantages but in my perspective, I agree that it is better to use face-to-face communication than to communicate by emails, letters or telephones, because when talking directly, people can recognize the attitude of the listeners and can use other tools of communication beside words.

Initially, when communicating face to face, people can know the feeling of the opposite person. They can detect whether this person want to talk to them. By looking at his or her face, people can use different words that are suitable to the situations. For example, my father who is a businessman told me that he needs to meet diverse kinds of customers. Some customers are easily to deal with but others are not. Because of this, when he is going to negotiate a contract with a customer, he usually sees customer's face in order to predict the emotion. It is necessary in a conversation to know the feeling of the opposite people. If he uses emails or telephone calls, he cannot know about this. He said that when a customer is seen happy, he will continue discussing about the problem and each aspect of the contract. On the other hand, when he sees that the customer is really exhausted because of working hard, he will politely end the discussion and invite him or her to a meal in order to refresh his or her mind. As the result, the contract will be signed easily. In short, when talking directly, people can observe the attitude of listeners better than when communicating through other kinds.

In addition, when talking directly, people can use other ways to improve the conversation such as facial expression, body language. We can use hands, mouth or eyes in order to express words that are hard to say or we can connect with listeners through using them. As I recall, when I went to an interview last year to apply for a job, while talking face to face with an interviewer, I sat straightly and made an eye contact with him to show the reliance and respect. I tried to combine my hands with my words to make him understand me more. I cannot use these things if I have an interview through cell phones.

To sum up, I think that it is better to use talking face-to-face rather than other kinds of communication, because people can discern the feeling of opposite people and they can use body language as well. With the development of technology, there are fewer people want to talk directly but with these benefits, I think the best way to communicate is meeting face to face and talking directly.

Writing Feedback / When students evaluate their teachers, teachers can know what they need to improve themselves [4]

[TOEFL]: Agree or Disagree: Students should evaluate the teachers?

Teachers play an important role in educating students at school. Schools can evaluate the teachers by many ways such as schools can see directly what the teachers are teaching in the classrooms or schools can know indirectly from the students. In my perspective, I agree that schools should allow the students to judge their teachers because this is a way for teachers to know about the demands of the students and this is also a way for schools to evaluate the teachers.

First of all, when students evaluate their teachers, teachers can know what the students need to improve theirselves. The students will tell the schools about the quality of the lessons, the method of teaching and the feeling after each lesson. Based on the comments of the students, teachers can change their own ways to be suitable with the students. For example, in my high school, each month, the principal usually sent a form for students to write their comments about the teachers. As I recall, I have written that my teachers should add some presentations and group assignments to each lesson in order to increase the relationship between the students. After reading these comments, my teacher in History class assigns us more assignment of searching about the famous historical characters such as Ho Chi Minh president or Vo Nguyen Giap general. This homework is very interesting and useful for me and my classmates. In short, the students' comments are what students need their teacher to change, to develop.

In addition, when students judge their teachers, schools can also know more about their teachers. Students are the only people who know their teachers most because they are studying under the control of the teachers. The students can know exactly what are bad things or good things of the teachers. For instance, as I mentioned above, my high school allowed the students to evaluate the teachers. The principal also read these forms and he would decide the salary of the teachers or some special courses for teachers to improve teaching skill. That is very good for both students and teachers. Because of these comments, after grade twelve, all of the students in my class passed the entrance exam to the university with very high scores.

To sum up, I definitely agree that schools should ask students to evaluate their teacher in order to help the teachers change their performances and help the schools judge their teachers better. Some people think that evaluating the older people is rude but in that case, I think schools should use this policy so as to have good result at the end of the semester.