Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : success is ten per cent talent and ninety per cent hard work? [7]

Hello Fellas..
This is my old writing that I wrote it a couple months ago, but is not corrected yet, hopefully you can correct my mistakes, thank you. :)

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Some people said that success is ten per cent talent and ninety per cent hard work. Is hard work the key to success or is talent is so important. Give reason for your answer and give any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience.

Attainment is always being foremost target for the most people. It is cause of to be uncommon person, which means owned plenty achievements that can be prestige or pride.

Yngwee Malmsteen, is one of legendary guitarists, became criterion for amateur guitarists. He ever said that his success began from talent and tried to develop it. This example shows that talent owned by him gave numerous awards as the greatest guitarist.

Discussing about talent, some people already have this bounty since their born or seen when they are growing up to be a teenager. In fact, Cleopatra Stratan, is a little latin girl already being massive popular in this universe, related to her talent which could make her became an awesome singer in her ages. This second example is likely that to get success with rely on the talent is easily.

On the contrary, working hard also becomes main factor to reach the goal in which depend on adherent of other people. For instance, Mr.Chairul Tandjoeng, was born in a small district in West Java, Indonesia, is the president of CT Enterprise. He said that all his achievements basically of his struggle and sacrifice regardless of a talent. With looking at the example, I can conclude that there will shows the evidence if we can keep focusing on our targets.

Clearly, both of talent and hard work are huge effect for people who want to chase their dreams, and how their effort to combine between talent and hard work being two strong foundations in order to get one or more attainment.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : Modern forms of communication; 'electronic letter' [4]

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Undoubtedly, the movement of modern forms of communication has changed better, which help people to interact to others, such as email and messaging without limitation time. I totally agree that using of these soft devices have cut much of time people need to see with their relatives. However, it is had some demerits on their social lives.

Mentioned to societies life style, they constantly use these kinds of electronic letter for making fellowship or just continuing theirs what they already had. Obviousness, there are other ways like social media that they could to use it for meeting theirs buddies such as Twitter and Facebook, also make the communication become feasible and limitless of time.

Another perspective, using of these facilities has influenced netizens to keep themselves becoming unsociable. It caused they were swept away by virtual atmosphere, so they do not do much social live interactions with others. The consequence of this case made some people become geek, as too much of using email and messaging, without direct contacts. However, people have had own minded to keep connection with their friends as a good relationship, meet them and talk by face to face directly.

In conclusion, I admittedly and strongly agree that the merits of email and messaging have reduced amount of ours time to communicate to. Besides, we need to make sure for the real gathering with our colleague.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : TRIP TO WORK IN HOUSTON, TEXAS [3]

The table gives the information concerning trip to work in Houston, Texas, while the bar chart shows how much emissions containing in each transports used.

Firstly, according to the table shows that the highest percentage of travelers of per form of transport is spotted on "car (1 person) at 43 age " and followed by "train or bus at 37 per cent as the second top up which travelers have 47 age". For the lowers rates, "car (more than 1 person) where the workers are 44 years old" and the lowest rates "cycle / walk' has 4 percent and 39 years old as average age among them.

Secondly, the bar chart displays which the biggest contain of Co2 emissions gets from "car with only for 1 person" at 0.32 kilograms per kilo metre. Releasing until 0.08 kg of CO2, "car (4 persons) is the second huge of amount of producing emissions. On the other hand, "bus or train" and "cycle or walk" give a good effect correlated on their emission which is not more than 0.01 kg of CO2 substance.

Lastly, the most popular and the worst form of transport is "car (1 person)" which often to use by workers and produces much air pollution.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS: 'everal reasons rates as adults' decision to study' - A REPORT FOR A UNIVERSITY LECTURER. [4]

The bar chart and pie chart show details about several reasons rates as adults' decision to study and the costs which should be shared by three factors in each course, Taxpayer, Individual, and Employer.

The first, the horizontal chart shows three pieces of reasons according to adults' decision. Starting from the highest is spotted on 'Interest in subject' purpose at 40% and followed by ' To gain qualifications' as the second highest less 2% than the highest rates. In average rates, there are three reasons which have similarity percentages on 'Helpful for current jobs, To improve prospects of promotion, and Enjoy learning' at 22, 20, and 20 per cent respectively. As the third pieces and as the lower reasons percentages 'To able to change jobs' gets 12 %, and 'To meet people' only obtains 9% as the lowest of reasons by adults argument.

The second of the pie chart, Individual occupies the highest rates of the course costs at 40 per cent. Employer gets 35 per cent, and Taxpayer at 25 per cent as the lowest paying of each course.

Overall, adults' majority decision is 'Interest in subject' pertaining on education determined , and the largest costs of course shared at 'Individual' payment.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : The precentages of library books read at Starmouth School [2]

Helloooo Fellas.... I need your contribution comments about my writing presentation below..

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The figure shows information concerning how many library books students read, during 3 years from 2009 to 2012 at Starmouth School.

From the graph, there were tendencies between boys and girls. Started from the boys, they rose gradually from 2009 to 2011 from about 50 to 100. Continued decreased slightly at 80 books as the end of the number of books read by boys in 2012.

Move to another trend, the number of schoolgirls increased stably between 2009 and 2011 below 30 to 40. Then, climbed dramatically sharp 250% from the previous point of the number books read during two years in 2010. It reached a peak at 140 books as the top of books reader among them.

There was an interesting point where in 2011 boys and girls met on the same number at 100 books, but for the girls kept on climb whereas the boys felt down.

All in all, it can be concluded that interest for reading books in library by Starmouth pupils was show more increase on girls than boys that ended in 2012.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK II : Inventors are not as important to society as doctors ? [4]

Hello Buddies, please give me your corrections concerning my writing below.. :D

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Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Inventors, researches, scientists, and doctors are worth people in which give great impacts on what they did as the contributions for the public. However, in society sight Doctors are more important than other professions, I agree with this issue.

To begin with, as the modern people, we literally appreciate what inventors created in the past which had been given advantages for the public (science inventions for daily activity). In my view, we cannot get separated from theirs inventions, because theirs we can learn and use the discoveries as our knowledge and also can apply in our activities. For instance, Thomas Alfa Edison, a man who found lamp, this incredible invention already has been shining our universe,help humans doing from the darkness since dozen centuries ago till this time.

However, nowadays we do not need enough their inventions anymore, because we have the new inventions as our alternative way such 'Salt can be replaced Fuel as an energy resource'. The common problem for the people in recently years is about healthy, which in several countries they don't have the number of doctors enough to help their citizens. As an example, India, is the second highest of human population, they force the youth to have deeply education, especially on science. Their datum show that the forth-of-hundred rates of societies lives in unhealthy.Therefore, the doctors are more important thing that they must produce of their human resources.

In a nutshell, both of Inventors and Doctors have own figures, but this time the doctors are more needed by humans in order to aid people who are in an emergency for getting the cure.

Writing Feedback / Learn more about another country by watching tv programmes and films about it [3]

IELTS TASK 2
Hello Buddies, please give me your corrections concerning my writing below.. :D

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Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it.
How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it?

Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

Watching TV's shows or Films are always entertaining for the humans, no matter whether that activity is often benefits. However, some people feel
that we can learn extra concerning another country by visiting them. I feel that, there are several things to find out another magnificent experience by

staying in.

To begin with, TV's shows provide some good information and knowledge inside the contents in order to be favorite channel of the viewers
number. The companies give fund to create infomercial program or a film, one main purpose is about earning money (income). It is not forbidden
pattern to get societies attention, because it is like mutualism or take and give between the enterprises and public. In addition, public do not need to

bother themselves to visit a place where as long as they want. Due TV's shows or Films already show a travel and a story as their reports or

presents. More often watch TV's, it will be having more information you have, certainly depends on merits of the programmes.

However, some people cannot get their own experience before visiting it, because they will learn by their own way without one packaging as TV's

showed. As example, if people immediately come to the places, they can recognize the environments and also communicate to the local inhabitants,
ask anything that they are knowing yet. In my experience, I ever went to Belitong district where Laskar Pelangi FILM was created, I felt the real

atmosphere without cinematography like in the film, also I traveled on backpacker way which I got and learnt other information such as social lives,
economy and their professions in common. Those were benefits of visiting not likely in a film I have seen. But, not all the people can do what i did, it

is caused everybody has more own budget and this case cannot put in the same level.

In conclusion, watching TV programmes and films surely can reduce about a cost and amount of time that people will spend and more easier to learn

the new things of a country by sitting in the living room. It is fact TV's shows and Films give a good contribution for the society.