Writing Feedback / Writing task 1: The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea [2]

coffee and tea buying and drinking habits

The chart states the features about the coffee and tea buying and drinking habits occur in five cities of Australia in the last 4 weeks.
The numbers that stand out are mostly the number of people went to a café for coffee or tea, while the statics about people buying fresh coffee fluctuated blatantly and who bought instant coffee remained roughly balance.

Melbourne has the largest number of people who are interested in drinking at a coffee shop about from 62% to 63% inferred from the chart. Following by two roughly equitable features in Sydney and Hobart which are 61% and 62% respectively. Otherwise, there are only over 55% a little bit pupils in Brisbane and approximately 50% Adelaide's citizens enjoy drinking at a shop. Moreover, apart from staying at a specific place, people seem to love buying instant coffee whose statics remain kind of the same fluctuated at 50% level. Obviously, Sydney had about 41% people buying instant coffee increased respectively to 46% in Melbourne, 53 % in Brisbane, about 50% in Adelaide and approximately 55% in Hobart.

In additional, the rates of pupils are into fresh coffee tend to be low. The highest rate was nearly 45% occurred in Sydney, Melbourne took the second place as 43%, which let Hobart had the proportion of under 40% took in the third place, and the last two statistics in Brisbane and Adelaide had the similar rate around 34% both.

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Writing Feedback / Writing: Agree or not with banning smoking in certain areas [2]

Prohibition of smoking in public

In recent years, many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices
To what extend do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places?
It is claim that many governments have created some laws against smoking in crowded areas like bars, restaurants, offices, etc. This essay is totally agree with this action because not only smoking harms the environment, people who are nearby but also may cause some fires.

Truthfully, smoking is one of the biggest enemies to our health, specifically our breathing system. Cigarette contains an addictive substance called nicotine which you may have bad breath, inferior breathing system and even cancer. From what I have learnt, these symptoms not only affecting those smoking directly but also have bad influence to people standing nearby breathing the smoke released by cigarette. Therefore, smoking in public places will place a severe sickness to many people. For example, there are few cases in Vietnam reported for having an inferior lung or problems to breathe due to the nicotine or smoke even though they have not consumed any cigarette.

Moreover, cigarette's ashes are sometimes considered to be a sort of causes of fire in many place. Starkly, fire from the cigarette doesn't effaced away immediately when they throw it away. Ergo, if there are some flammable materials passes by, a big fire emerges without alerting. For instance, the world has been involved in lightened jungles caused by cigarette's ashes which led to some remarkable consequences.

Finally, the nicotine in the cigarette is regarded to be the most direct stimulant that leads to many deaths. It is understandable that people who smoke consume the nicotine and many other bad ingredients straightly to their lungs. As a consequence, it causes many illness which can be enumerated as lung cancer and other deadly symptoms. Realistically, roughly most of the patient who have breath's problems are usually affected by smoking. Furthermore, lung cancer is the solemn sickness with no cure leading to many deaths not only in Vietnam but also the world acknowledged by sheer amount of both intellectual and non-intellectual human. So banning it in the public places will somehow restrain smoker's thirsts and may help them abandon it coincidently.

To conclude, smoking is extremely harmful and deadly to whom who smoke or just stand nearby breathing under the same air. So that, I assume smoking should be banned and we need do propagandize more about its harm and disadvantages.

Writing Feedback / Writing: Opinion about young people want to run their own business rather than be an employee [2]

It is a common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer.

Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

Nowadays many young people seem to have aspiration after running their own business instead of working for a company. This essay strongly believes the advantages of working for yourself can't not outweigh its drawbacks because if they don't have enough experience, they won't be able to conflict with risks and challenges.

One of the prime evidences supporting my idea is the lack of experiences of youngsters. Clearly, being an entrepreneur requires a lot of tactics and personal skill to either confront problems or develop their company and obviously, those, who haven't worked anywhere, don't have this ability. For instance, working for a period of time for a company firstly will help pupils not only learn managing skills from their bosses, get used to the pressures but also comprehend multiple knowledges in a specific domain. Therefore, there will be fewer risks and un-wanted circumstances when they decide to be self-employment.

Although, running an entrepreneur gives them the opportunities to do whatever they want and also create a sense of autonomy rather than following rules, this may cause severe damages. Solemnly, they may be involved in to rivalry with other associations with no capability to compete against due to not having enough competence for facing burden and a wide vision. For example, in Vietnam, there are a vast number of people who want to be affluence by opening coffee shops, restaurants or buying stocks, but apparently, majorities of them have gone down the drain or even failed at the last hurdle just because they can't excel their opponents.

To conclude, running a private company brings lots of dangers and uncertain potentialities. In spite of giving you independence and large amount of income, it could make you be insolvent and indigent. Ergo, it is encouraged for youngsters to contemplate gravely before venturing on staring up.

Writing Feedback / Writing: Causes of water's shortage and how to fix it [3]

A serious problem affecting countries right across the globe is the lack of water for drinking, washing and other household uses.

Why do many countries face water shortages, and what could be done to alleviate the problem?

For decades, water has always been an unreplaceable part of human daily life. As a consequence, the world now facing a huge problem relating to the lack of water for drinking and its alternative usages. Therefore, in this essay, I'll draw some sort of its causes and how we can fix it.

The biggest concrete evidence that directly leads to water shortages is over-using water. For instance, people in countries with sufficient source of clear water are tend not to worry about the reduction of water, instead they use it inappropriately and freely leading to the increase of the amount of used water. A solution for the governments to restrict the number of water that each home may use monthly and fine them if the number is exceeded. This will probably increase people awareness in using water.

Another cause that I believe occurs at least once in every home that is dripping faucet. For example, based on the research I did lately, a dripping faucet unless we fix it on time, a vast number of water wasted. To tackle this problem, not only governments but also local authorities should take role to propagandize people to check carefully after they use water to see if it's closed properly or not.

Finally, the amount of water on earth is large, in other word, infinite, but the number of drinkable source is limited and sharply reduces each year. Clearly, four-firth of the surface of the earth is covered in water, specifically sea, but the water that we consume or wash our clothes is not the sea, it usually comes from down deep the earth or the rivers, fountain, etc. So that, governments have to find an alternative source of fresh water or encourage scientists to transform seawater into the usable one.

In conclusion, water's shortage should be concerned by all of us or else it will be a disaster. In my opinion, we should pay more attention to not only when we are using water but also other kind of things that sustain us.

Writing Feedback / Writing: Discussion if imprisoning is the best or not [3]

Topic :

Prison is the best punishment for criminals. Discuss.

Crimes has always been a remarkable problems occurring in almost countries for ages. Therefore many punishments has been invented in order to struggle with it, but it is believed that imprisonment is the best deterrence for criminals. In my opinion, I slightly oppose that because I think not all criminals need going to jail and I'll draw some evidence for my thought.

From what I have learnt, people have been fighting for their freedom for many years. So the primary reason is when cops imprison them mean they are taking liberty from them, to me this is a very heavy punishment to a living human. Hence, this kind of deterrence should only be applied on those who are actually deserve it such as: gangsters, robbers...With those who just commit a petty offence only need to be deterred slightly. For example, a man behave badly in public place like fighting or talking egregiously about a sensitive topic doesn't need going to jails but can be fined or executed a curfew order in his house for a few days.

Secondly, if government applies imprisonment on a villains who have committed a serious case, it won't be fair for the victims and may cause fear in the residences when the villains get out of jail. In particularly, a serial killer be sentenced and move to prison will obviously lead to protests or rebellions, unless those have to pay equitably rather than be locked away.

However, few of them just get in to criminal way because they have to do it for a living. Therefore if there is a chance, we should give to them, being a few years in prison would change them substantially and as a consequence, they become a better person.

In conclusion, prison is a good and efficient deterrence but it's not the only one. Henceforth before sentencing a specific criminal we should consider if it is petty or inferior to give out the appropriate punishment.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRT: CAUSES AND SOLUTIONS TO DEAL WITH OBESITY [3]

the obesity problem

For a few decades lately, people have not cared so much about their health as they did. Therefore, an unorganized life style occurred in the majority of people that would probably lead to crucial illness or even death. One of the most attentive symptoms that people are easily involved in is obesity. This essay will look at some main causes and draw a few solutions relating.

From what i have seen, the primary reason severely puts pupils into overweight condition is that people have been consuming an enormous amount of junk food or others considered not good for health. Specifically, citizens seem rather to buy food from a street food-stall or a convenient store nowadays than make it on themselves due to its both cheap prices and amazing flavor. In particularly, in Viet Nam, teenagers are highly addicted to non-healthy food which can be enumerated as: milk tea, coffee, fast food, etc. The way forward could be to propagandize or even educate them about people's health and show them how bad could it be when they eat so much high calories food in near future. This solution may make them pay more awareness on what they are doing, ergo may reduce the obese rate.

Secondly, thanks to the innovation of technologies, people are now so unwilling to put their phone down to go out for a walk or can't afford the pay for the gym. This lack of activities would obviously cause obesity because they compensate more calories than they need. For example, if you eat totally 2000 calories a day but you just run on errands which only need about a thousand in total, the redundant calories will be accumulate and consequently you will be overweight after few months. The solution is for governments to build more free outdoor exercising devices. This act may stimulate people to get out of their home and start working out because it's free and near.

In conclusion, obesity is a big problem that we need to concern about properly. Although, those kind of unhealthy food taste well, it's still harmful and need consuming under your control. In my opinion, unless we start to change and obey a healthy meal plan, we will soon not only be overweight but also other severe illness.

Writing Feedback / Ielts writing about the fallen of teachers in the near future [4]

a dream of being a teacher

For many years ago, teachers was considered to be the most noble and extremely important to be replaced occupation.But legend has it that '' Nothing lasts forever'', recently, the satistic of people who intend to be part of the educationcal system seems to be decreased, particularly the number of people want to teach in secondary school.This essay is going to draw some causes and resolutions for this major problem.

Let's start the essay with the prior reason:salaries. Salary is the base thing that all workers concern about obviously rather than others benefits.Apparently, Vietnamese people. particularly teachers, all agree that teachers are not paid equitably,lots more lower than expected,especially those work in secondary schools as they are not as needed as highchools teachers due to upcoming university's assessments.Hence, I think governments should offer more benefits such as :out-door activities in summer vacation, pay rises,better insurrances,.....

Secondly, The innovation of technologies have little by little been atracting not only the recent generation but also our future ones.Besides having high incomes,it is also loved by gorgeous attainments,clarificationally artificial inteligence, robots, virtual realities,further more online courses that no one need a tutor anymore. This problem seems impossibly to be solved but united, educational system in each countries has to be up-to-date to the curren civilization and makes changes suitably in order not to be antiquated.

Thirdly, People find it uncomfortable to obey various of rules such as : intergrity, manner, moral, humanity,........which makes them feel they are no longer being themselves. So i thinks this problems come from people who don't want to be controled by rules, so the best solution here, i suggest,is to make those know the importance of teacher which can't be doubt that without teaching in the correct way,human is no longer has the ability to use their abilities efficiency.

Overall, The number of people who has a dream as being a teacher has falled significantly.This is not only because of the poor pay but also each person thoughts.In my opinion, we have to pay more attention on the fallen of interactive education so that we could give out the suitable resolution to preserve it.