Writing Feedback / Members of a group can learn from each other, and it will help compensate one's weaknesses. [3]

Here is another essay. Well... I do not really remember what the prompt was exactly. (It was just gone!!) It was about which the study style-study alone or study in a group with other people?-is more effective... or something.

Some people believe that the group study only turns out to be a waste of time because in many cases, group members do not do their parts. However, their claim obviously overlooks the potential benefits of studying with a group of people. This essay will examine the advantages of group study.

First, members of a group can learn from each other, and it will help compensate one's weaknesses. Each individual has unique, different characteristic and strength. For instance, one of the group members can be especially good at economics while he is not really doing well on mathematics. Some of the members who are confident in Math can help him when he struggles with math problems. In other times, he can also help other members with his economic knowledge whenever needed. That is one member's strong asset can compensate the other's deficient skill and vice versa, which leads to a great positive effect on every member.

Second, studying with a group of people can get rid of excessive load of heavy tasks. During the semester, it is quite common for students to be given somewhat extensive presentations or projects. Luckily most of this kind of assignment is asked to be done in a group. But what if this type of task requires students to do alone? Summarizing 200 pages of the book individually can be overwhelming, but if working together with five people, each assigned 50 pages, can drastically reduce the burden of this assignment.

Group work is believed to be an effective study strategy among many students due to many reasons. Most of all, group work values the strong point of each member so that all of group members can learn from each other. Also, it takes the burden of big assignment off significantly. Therefore, the power of studying with a group of people should not be disregarded.

Writing Feedback / Essay about selecting the course. [6]

Hello...I wonder that my supporting ideas are reasonable enough and details are OK. Anyway, thanks for your help in advance. :-)

Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? High school students should allow students to study the course that they want to study.

Use two specific reasons and examples to support your stance.

The issue of allowing students to study the course that they want to study has been hotly debated. Some people believe that students should have a chance to learn a wide range of subjects by providing the basic curriculum. However, this claim overlooks the potential advantages of students' own selected course such as increasing students' motivation and their skill development.

To begin with, students' intrinsic motivation is profoundly boosted. Most students select the course based on their interests and what they consider necessary to learn. During my high school years, I did not participate very enthusiastically especially in the classes which are out of my interests and unwanted while I was motivated to study in the only classes that I think important and find fun.

In addition, students invest their time more on perfecting their talented skill. Those who prepare for entering the art college, for instance, do not necessarily have to spend time struggling with mathematic problems or doing some laboratory research. Rather, their priority should be 'sharpening their artistic skills. If they are given the right to choose the course,

If students are given more control over tailoring their curriculum by their own, so many positive effects will be aroused. Above all, students' motivation is increased since they study only the subjects they are interested in. Also, students spend more time on sharpening their skills by not taking unnecessary courses that do not count. Thus, students should be encouraged to select the courses based on their taste.

Writing Feedback / Essay about bad effects of the internet on students [2]

Here is another essay. I am so grateful for your help. It really helps me see what my problems in my writing are. Anyhow, I've got a question. Is there any difference in meaning between 'the internet' and 'internet'? If so, would you tell me what it is? Thank you again in advance.

topic: some people say that the internet has a positive impact on students; others believe that widespread use of the internet is detrimental to them. Which of view do you agree with?

Some people believe that the Internet has a positive impact on students by providing a variety of resources for their studies. However, I strongly disagree with that claim since internet brings some negative effects on students such as internet addicts and the reliance too much on internet with homework.

First, many students are becoming addicted to the Internet. They spend more and more time on playing computer games or just surfing the net without any particular reasons. Accordingly, the time they spend on studying is automatically reduce, which in turns causes the lower academic achievement. Moreover, some of them go to the extreme, becoming serious internet addicts, and they even refuse to go to school as they cannot escape from the trap of internet.

Second, internet hinders students from doing their homework or assigned task by their own. Thanks to internet, students can obtain the information they need with a great ease by simply clicking the button. However, this great accessibility to any kind of information can be abused. For instance, when students are given an assignment, what many of them do is just go on the websites or the blogs where the seemingly needed information is posted, and drag, copy and paste it without looking the material thoroughly later. Some students even just download the material which someone else has already done and submit it as if it were their work.

It is clear that internet has serious detrimental effects on students. For one thing, students are so vulnerable to becoming addicted to internet. Additionally, they do their homework not with their own efforts but with the entire dependence on internet resources. Thus, young students should use internet with great cautions to prevent any harmful effects.

Writing Feedback / Essay about "Better communication types" [NEW]

Here is another essay. It will be a very great help if you give me any suggestion or comments on my poor writing for the improvement. :-)

Topic: Some people believe that face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication such as letters, e-mail, or telephone calls. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

With the advent of technology advancement, the types of communication have been diversified. Not only do people convey their message in person, which is the original form of communication type, but also they start to use a variety of other types of communication tools such as letters, e-mails and telephone calls. Some people believe that the emergence of the new means of communications is far better than the old one-face to face communication. However, I am opposed to this idea for the following two reasons.

Face-to-face communication is more effective in preventing misunderstanding from happening. Due to the distance between speakers and listeners in non face-to-face communication situation, miscommunications are more likely to occur. For instance, messages in e-mail or letters should be crystal clear, unambiguous and articulate which would otherwise cause a wrong interpretation of sender's intended message. However, participants in face-to-face communication can negotiate the meaning at any time when misunderstanding occurs. That is, speakers can correct or reform their utterance if their conversation partners appear to be confused or misinterpret the message.

In addition, another positive facet of face-to-face communication is that it contributes to enhancing the truthfulness of the message. In this type of communication, it is somewhat difficult to hide interlocutor's feelings since the non-verbal communication is involved. In particular, facial expression can reflect the message-givers' emotion to some extents. Thus, the conversation participants are able to tell whether their partners are telling the truth or lie by simply glancing at the facial look.

Face-to-face communication is said to be an obsolete tool of communication due to its inconvenience. However, it is an effective means in that it can block the misunderstanding and the truthfulness of message can be easily detected. Therefore, it still remains one of the powerful communication tools as it was.

Writing Feedback / Studying at traditional schools or via computer or TV [2]

Hello, :-) could you give the feedback on my essay especially in terms of the content?-if my rationales, justifications make sense and are reasonable enough. It will be appreciated very much if you also point out any serious grammatical/lexical errors in my writing. Thank you so so so much in adavnce.

topic: In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at traditional schools. Which one do you think is more effective for students?

Cutting-edge technology has made it possible for students to take more options on the types of education. Some people argue that the new types of education-studying with using technology like TV or computer brings so many good benefits to students. However, I firmly believe that traditional schools are still the most effective form of education for the following reasons.

First students studying at traditional schools get immediate feedback from the teacher. During the lesson, some parts of teacher's explanations can be somewhat ambiguous or sometimes obscure to students. In this case, students taking the lesson via Internet or television can not receive satisfactory further explanations immediately. On the contrary, those who study at traditional schools freely ask teachers to clarify or repeat what they said until students reach a full understanding. In addition, students can ask whenever the questions pop up, and get a prompt answer provided from teachers.

Students also get ample chances of meeting new people-not only their classmates but also other people in another class. Since human beings are known to be as "social animal", it is of significance to get along with others. Traditional schools seem to be the only place for students where they meet new people and are given an opportunity to make friends. By socializing with others, students can build up network, which will be the valuable asset in their future.

It is obvious that traditional schools provide many advantages to students. Among those benefits, immediate feedback from teachers and a chance to meet new people are the strongest. Therefore, we should not overlook the value of studying at traditional schools.

Writing Feedback / NATURE Vs NURTURE ; 'nurture' is a more significant factor [2]

Greetings!
I've got another essay which needs lots of correction. I always appreciate your help & feedback. The topic is which one-nature or nurture?-has more influence on human's intelligence.

'Nature or nurture' issue has been at the center of a long-running debate among many scholars. It is no denying that both genetic and acquired factor have an influence on one's intelligence to some degree. From my perspective, however, intelligence is the result of nurturing, not a magical gift from nature.

Some cases of children who were left in the wilderness and raised with wild animals indicate the significance of mothering--nurturing. When those isolated children were found, they were unable to speak language, even a word, and their behaviors were not unlike animals'. If they were born with a special 'innate' ability which enables, nativists believe, children to magically acquire everything from language to social manner at ease, why not these wild children failed to acquire the custom of human society?

One tragic experiment conducted by a German king proves that one's language, one type of the intelligence, is not naturally acquired, but learned after years of exposure. The King hoped to find out what language a child would speak if not being told any language after birth. The result was disastrous: All infants who were the subject of this experiment died before the first year, not acquiring any language at all.

If human being's intelligence were really genetically determined, all cases mentioned above would never happen. With the innate property which they are given from birth, they should've been able to have proper behavior and speak language without any external help. Unfortunately, that is not true. After a few years of a good mothering, human beings become independent and mature, so their intelligence does. Therefore, 'nurture' is a more significant factor in human's intelligence.

Writing Feedback / should Korean teachers of English be required to pass on speaking test? [2]

Hello, :-D could you give me feedback on my essay? Thank you so much for your help, always!!!

topic: Korean teachers of English should be required to pass on English speaking test every five years for the improvement of the quality of English language teaching in Korea. Do you agree or disagree?

Last winter, Ministry of Education announced that every English class in secondary school would be taught exclusively in English from 2010. Also, they added that teaching speaking would be the core of English education as an effort for keeping up the pace of globalization. Accordingly, I support the idea that 'Korean teachers of English should be required to pass the speaking test every five years' for the following reasons.

The feasibility of the plan suggested by government-teaching English through English (=TETE)-heavily relies on English teachers' speaking proficiency. Since 'English' is used as a means of conveying the content of lesson, the excellence in teachers' oral skill is a must. To demonstrate if teachers are really equipped with good speaking ability enough to manage TETE, a periodic measurement for testing their proficiency is needed at all costs.

In addition, the oral test can be worked as a motivator to English teachers. That is, it would push teachers to keep practicing English speaking. For Korea is under EFL (=English as a foreign language) circumstance where English is not used outside classroom, non-native English teachers could lose English speaking ability to some extent merely because of lack of chances at practicing speaking. Therefore, this five year interval test can be a good stimulator to teachers.

Korean teachers of English should be prepared for the new trend of English education. Emphasis on teaching reading or listening has gradually dwindled as speaking and writing is becoming the center of learning English. Along with this atmosphere, testing English teachers' speaking ability is inevitable. To ensure the success of TETE plan which will be applied to every English class in 5 years, supplying teachers whose ability is officially demonstrated through this test is of the importance. Also, teachers are more likely to continue practicing English if this plan is implemented in order not to lose English ability.

Writing Feedback / native English teachers vs non-native teachers [NEW]

Hello, here is another essay. :-) I am always thankful for your big help! Hope my essay is getting better.. ah! also, I try to clarify my previous essay, which is about homeroom teacher. If you don't mind, would you check that essay out, too? Again thank you so much. Have a wonderful day! :-D

topic: Do you think native English teacher offer more advantages to students than non-native English teachers?

For many decades, it has been believed that native English speaking teachers are superior to Non-native English teachers especially in teaching oral production. However, I am convinced that the statement above is merely a myth in English language teaching profession. This essay will examine why having native English speakers as a teacher is not always advantageous in the field of language teaching.

One of the possible reasons is that native English teachers are less likely to put themselves into students' shoes. That is, unless they have ever had a chance to learn second language, it can be hard for them to understand how difficult it is to learn a new language. On the other hand, non-native teachers are more aware of how students feel towards learning a language since they actually go through the process of learning before. They are probably better at predicting what potential linguistic problem students may encounter, and give them more productive treatments.

In addition, different cultural norms can be a big challenge for both native English teachers and students. Native English teachers enter the classroom with their own cultural mores or patterns which are gained from their home country. For instance, being quiet unless students are allowed to talk in the class is regarded as a good behavior in most parts of Asian cultures. However, not talking in the class can be seen as a lack of class participation by teachers from English speaking countries. Accordingly, they could give the silent students bad credits even though those students are in fact taking part in the class.

It is true that, native English teachers are in the advantageous places in that they give more authentic pronunciation and richer expressions to students than non-native teachers do. Regarding students' affective area and cultural matter, however, non-native teachers can have more positive influence on students' language learning journey.

Writing Feedback / the way of nominating homeroom teacher [4]

hello, here is another my essay, which contains lots of things to be corrected.. I am always grateful for your help. :-)

Last year, one high school introduced new way of nominating students' homeroom teacher. That school gave students a chance to decide their homeroom teacher based on candidate teachers' profile, using school homepage. Some people are cautious about this new method since it could bring up potential problems such as discrimination against some unpopular teachers. However, I firmly believe the advantages of this system outweigh the disadvantages.

First, there is a much higher chance at building up a better relationship with homeroom teacher. Since students are given a chance to choose the teacher based on their preference on teacher, they are more open to their teacher and approach him or her. That is because it is a natural tendency for ordinary people to want to be close to a person they prefer.

In addition, students are more likely to study harder if they are with their preferred homeroom teacher. Usually, students' study habit can be greatly influenced by the person around them. That is, students can be motivated just because they like to be marked as a 'good' student by their homeroom teacher.

Finally, there would be relatively less complaint and gossip about homeroom teacher at school. There may be some reasons that cause students to choose a certain teacher. No matter what the reasons are, it is their own decision they made. Thus, they should neither complain about nor talk behind teacher's back unless they want to admit their decision was wrong.

In summary, this new way of choosing homeroom teacher based of students' own decision can be a breakthrough in education field. For instance, students could build up firm relationship with their teacher and study harder. Moreover, less compliant about homeroom teacher is arouse. Therefore, this should be encouraged and adopted as a new alternative for nominating homeroom teacher in many schools.

Writing Feedback / Learning something new is always challenging to many of us - the same applies to a foreign language [3]

Learning something new is always challenging to many of us since it takes one's great effort and time. Above all, learning a new language can be the most difficult task. There are some aspects which make this learning experience difficult.

Writing Feedback / having native English teachers in all English classes? [4]

Hello, I deeply appreciate your help all the time. :-) Thank you so much!

Some people insist that secondary schools in Korea should have at least native English speaker assistant in all English classes to improve student's English communication skill. They believe that native English teachers can bring out English-speaking environment inside schools. However, I do not think this plan is feasible in EFL situation where English is not used outside the classroom. There are several constraints that make this plan rather less viable.

To begin with, budget constraint is a main problem in implementing this plan. Hiring native English speakers as a teacher costs a lot. That is, schools should cover their benefits like health insurance, and also pay for their housing fee since they are not permanent residence. Moreover, they are paid much more than local teachers. Thus, it would be financially burden for schools unless there is some support from the government.

In addition, native English teachers would have difficulty creating English speaking environment, which is their core responsibility as a teacher, due to the number of students in a class. In Korea, approximately 30 to 40 accounts for one class. Under this situation, students hardly get enough opportunity to talk in a class. If the number is much smaller--under 15. it is manageable for the teacher to assign the equal opportunity to students or treat rather silent students better by giving them more chances to speak.

In conclusion, only placing native English teacher to every class does not necessarily guarantee the enhancement of student's speaking ability. To help students to become a better communicator, we should find another way. As one of the alternatives, I suggest that schools should create English using places such as English zone or English cafe where students must speak only English. Practice is the only path to improving their speaking ability.

Writing Feedback / negative correlation between TOEIC and proficiency. [2]

It is no doubt that English teachers should have a high proficiency of English to be eligible for teaching students. Judging one's language proficiency is by no means easy since there is no such proper measurements which demonstrate one's skill 100% accurately. Some people say that TOEIC can be an excellent means to test one's language ability. However, I strongly disagree with this idea due to some reasons.

Given what TOEIC is created for, we come to know why TOEIC is not relevant to demonstrating one's proficiency. The aim of TOEIC is to test how effectively one is able to use business English in a business mood. That is why the test contains a lot of business terminologies and some forms used in the real business world. In fact, one's general English ability has nothing to do with the business English skill.

In addition, one's language proficiency is represented into four skills--speaking, writing, listening and reading. However, TOEIC only teats two of them--reading and listening. Accordingly, even if one gets a high score on that test, we cannot affirmatively say that he is a proficient learner because we do not know his speaking and writing ability.

A great many companies in Korea once required all job applicants to attach their TOEIC score to the resume to select workers with a better English. However, the result was frustrating. It turned out that many of job applicants who had relatively a high score did not have equivalent ability in speaking and writing. As a result, companies should run another English oral interview to screen out unqualified employees.

To sum up, TOEIC is widely used to demonstrate one's English ability in Korea. However, TOEIC cannot merely test language one's proficiency because it is initially created for testing one's business English ability. Moreover, it is only testing two receptive skills--reading and listening. That is, one with a high TOEIC score does not necessarily mean that he is proficient in overall English skill. Therefore, other measurement including testing 4 skills should be used as a means for demonstrating one's English ability.

Undergraduate / In 2006, I went to Vancouver; Cross-cultural experience essay [2]

Hello, would you correct any grammatical mistakes and give some editing suggestions-especially regarding word choice-on this essay? I am not sure whether I chose appropriate vocabulary which fits into the context well and sentences are understandable for you. Thank you so much in advance. :-)

In 2006, I went to Vancouver, one of the cities in Canada, for an extended English study. I stayed there for almost 9 months, experiencing a lot of new things. Vancouver is well-known as a multicultural society. In other words, you will see many people from different cultural backgrounds there. While staying in Vancouver, I had faced cultural differences on occasion, which sometimes were too huge from my home culture to overcome them. I will write about intercultural experiences that I had in Vancouver.

First of all, one thing that surprised me was 'open culture' (relatively, compare to my home culture). Since my thoughts and views were so much influenced by the norms of Confucianism-a fundamental basis of Korean culture, it took me some time to accept homosexual couples frequently seen on streets or buses without prejudice. It was a total shock to hear from my friend , saying "I saw one of my male teachers kissing with a guy on the corner of street." 'Homosexuality' is not warmly welcomed in my country. Rather, people in my home culture abhor gays or lesbians and do not simply accept them as social members. The concept of homosexuality has traditionally been strictly forbidden, being thought as a taboo in conservative society of mine. That is why many gays in my country are afraid of coming out of the shell. Unlike my culture, Canadians are more generous in embracing them as a member of their community. Encountering homosexual couples too often outside was shocking to me at first, but I get accustomed to seeing those people without strong dislike and started seeing them as different beings, not strange or abnormal.

Second astonishing experience was the way of greeting. As mentioned before, Vancouver has a variety of ethnic groups, so I got many chances to meet different people from various countries. When I saw Asian friends from Japan or China, we just waved each other for greeting. However, things were very different when I met some friends from European or South America countries. They gave me a hug, and even kissed on my cheeks as a sign of greeting. It was very uncomfortable and awkward for me first, especially when male friend greeted me with that way. In my culture, we do not usually hug each other, not mention to kiss except when we see our beloved one like boyfriend or girlfriend. Yet, this custom naturally grew on me as time passed, and I started to enjoy this because it gave me a good opportunity to hug a guy from Brazil who I liked.

There is an old saying 'Do in Rome as the Romans do' which indicates the importance of not sticking to only one's home culture when visiting another country. Otherwise, what would be left is only home-sickness or even depression. I tried my best to adjust to a new culture and be flexible while staying in Vancouver. I knew that the old concepts that I brought from my home would interfere to adapting to a new circumstance. Despite my all efforts, there were some remaining conflicts between my cultural view verses the norms in the new culture as we have seen above. Fortunately, two problems derived from cross cultural differences were gradually solved as I got accustomed to a new culture as time went by. The important things in overcoming cultural differences are one's willingness and time. If I had not tried hard to adapt to the new culture, the experience I had there would have been frustrating with having much more difficult time. Thus, we do not have to be overwhelmed by cross-cultural difference. Time will heal everything as long as one is ready to accept the distinctive differences with open-mind.

Writing Feedback / Is learning history important? - essay [3]

topic: A lot of people agree that studying history is import!ant. On the other hand, there are some who believe that there is no use studying events that have already happened. Therefore, they think that schools should stop teaching history. What is your opinion? Support your opinion with examples and relevant explanations.

Some people are saying that we do not need to study history since studying events in the past is no use. However, learning history is very worthwhile and has a significant meaning to us. There are several reasons why I believe this.

To begin with, we are living in a part of history now. It means that the present, which is to become the past as the moment passes, can not be apart from history. Some people may assume that the past is something happened long time ago. However, it is only partially true. Yesterday, or even a minute ago becomes a part of history. Thus, if we believe that studying history is no use, we admit that we are living lives which will become meaningless in the future.

In addition, we learn many things from the past. History is not an obsolete thing. Rather, it gives us valuable lessons which help to make our lives better. For instance, we definitely know how tragic the result of the war is from the cases of World War and Civil war in the history. From the devastating events in the past, we come to know the war can never be justified whatever causes are.

Finally, history reveals who we really are. There is an old saying 'Like father, like son', which indicates the importance of knowing who our forefathers are like. Our lives are so much the reflection of theirs. That is, by carefully looking at their ways of thinking or their attitudes, we will have a better understanding of ourselves.

In conclusion, we should appreciate learning history since it has significant value itself. First, the moment we are living now is a part of history. Also, history teaches us valuable lessons, so that we will not do the same thing wrong ever again! Lastly, we learn more about ourselves through history by seeing the lives of our forefathers. Therefore, studying history should be encouraged at all coats.

Writing Feedback / Essay on requiring employees to dress formally.. [4]

Hello, I am here again. I really appreciate your help all the time. It is quite tough for me to finish up the essay within a certain(limited) time. (30min..) I am always in a rush, without having enouth time for revision. Do you have any tip on this problem? How can I do well on timed-impromptu writing test?

topic : Many companies have always required employees to dress professionaaly for instance in a business suit. Some of these companies now allow their employees to come to work once a week in more casual clothing.

Many companies strictly require their workers to wear formal suits in their workplaces. One possible reason for doing that is employers want their workers to look more professional. However, it does not seem a good idea to always force employees to dress formally. There are some reasons why I believe like this.

To begin with, employees have a freedom of choice to wear what they want in their workplace. Whether dressing professionally or not is a matter of personal choice. No one has the right to force others to decide about what to wear. There is not relevant regulation by a law whatsoever. Thus companies should respect a personal choice of what they wear in their workplace.

Next, this kind of compulsory rule could lower workers' morale and work-efficiency. If they are forced to dress formal everyday, they may feel very uncomfortable with their clothes while working-especially on rainy days or stormy days. They should feel free to wear the clothes that make them feel better at their work. In other words, their work-efficiency will boost if they choose to wear the clothes that is the most suitable for them.

Finally, what a person is wearing merely has nothing to do with company's own sake. Clothes are not an important matter in workplaces. Looking professionally is by no means actually doing professionally. In order to make workers perform better in their workplace, employees should encourage workers to do whatever they want. That is, creating open atmosphere is far more important than just making them look formal.

To sum up, advantages in giving workers a choice of what to wear outweigh ones in requiring them to dress professionally. The latter is definitely a violation of the right of personal choice. Also, by allowing them to wear anything they feel comfortable with, their work-efficiency will significantly increase. Moreover, what a parson is wearing has nothing to do with company's own profits. Therefore, the requirement of dressing formally in workplace should be withdrawn.

Writing Feedback / 'Degree of happiness' with a job is more important than having a high salary [2]

Thank you again! your feedback really helps me a lot!! :-)

topic: being happy with a job is more important than having a high salary.

When it comes to a job selection, the most contributing factor differs one person to another. Some people may choose their job depending on the amount of income, while others may decide to get certain job since it brings happiness to them. This essay will examine why being content with one's job is far important than any other factors when choosing a job.

To begin with, the degree of happiness with a job determines a worker's tenure. The more one is satisfied with his/her job, the longer he/she will remain his/her job position. Accordingly, satisfaction derived from work itself makes a person stay the job longer.

In addition, one's work efficiency is relatively constant. That is, one's work efficiency will not be vulnerable to outer changes. Imagine a company is planning to cut down workers' salary. Those whose work efficiency is driven by money will be damaged by this change. On the other hand, the worker who is content with his job will not be much affected since money is not important matter for him/her.

Finally, there would be much less chances of getting stressed out if one is happy with his/her job. Regardless of the stress they get from their workplace, they just keep working. In other words, they simply like what they are doing now since the work brings them pleasure. For them, working can be a means of reducing their stress.

To sum up, what really matters in choosing a job is the degree of one's happiness with his/her job. First, worker's tenure is longer if a worker is satisfied with his/her job. Also, work efficiency remains constant regardless of some change like wage cut-down. Moreover, a person is less stressed out since he/she finds his/her job interesting. Thus, being happy with a job is more important than a high salary.

Writing Feedback / Essay on saving land for endangerous animals [4]

Hello!!! I am here again! I really appreciate your comments that you made on my last two essays. It helps me a lot. This is my third essay. Thank you always!!

topic: some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more import!ant than saving land for endangerous animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or Why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support answer.

A number of animal have been extinguished and some species are endangered due to human's needs for farmland, housing and industry. Human beings are very eager to conquer and dominate animals for their own development. Some people think that human's development is far more important than animals' existence. However, I strongly disagree with that statement due to several reasons below.

First of all, animals have the same value as a living creature as human. Thus, we should respect their right to live on the earth. We tend to seek our own profit, not caring other living creatures' lives. Moreover, some think that human beings are superior to animals. This is by no means correct, however. They are living creature like us. They can breathe, die, and give a birth their offspring to prosper their own species just as humans do. We should respect them as the equal being.

Secondly, we should learn to live harmoniously with animals. The land that we live on is not exclusively given to only human beings. We are sharing the land with animals. They have their own territory and their colony. Yet we always destroy their shelters, even kill them very ruthlessly. We should be in their shoes all the time when implementing some development plan. They are our friends whom we live with, not the sacrificed offerings.

Finally, a variety of animal species should be preserved for educational purpose. A great number of animals die each year. If this phenomenon continues, only few animals will be left in a few decades. At this point, we should think about our next generation. What if our children go to the zoo, but find only few species of animals there? This would be tragedy.

In conclusion, selfish human beings always try to seek their own profit. We do not care other living creatures. However, animals are not inferior to human at all. They are equal living creature as human beings. Also, we should learn to live with animals harmoniously sine they are our friends. Furthermore, for our next generation, various kinds of animals should be preserved. Therefore, the statement above can not be justified at all costs.

Writing Feedback / Education is only single factor in country's wealth? [2]

this is my second try to put my essay here. :-) Thank you so much for previous feedback on my first essay & thank you in advance for your correction on this one . Hope my writing will get better !! haha

Many people believe that the development of a country relies heavily on education. On the other hand, some people argue that there are far more important things which determine a nation's advancement. This essay will discuss what the vital elements of a country's wealth.

To begin with, one great scholar, Bacon, said "Knowledge is power." Then, where does knowledge come from? How do we obtain it? The key answer lies in "education." Through the formal schooling from elementary to high school, even to college, we become intelligent beings. This is one of features of a human being, which differentiates from other species. Moreover, we are capable of applying what we learn in school to other different disciplines. That is, learning has no boundaries. With the basic knowledge and the application of learning, education is believed to be a foundation of the country's success.

However, one nation's progress does not rest on only education. Even majority of people are knowledgeable enough, what if they are reluctant to work? Not to mention, a country's development has something to do with its economy. Also this economic state is closely connected to industrious workforce in the society. If there are abundant hard-working people in a country, even they do not get enough schooling, country will make a progress significantly as we see the case of China.

In sum up, it is very tempting to think education is what the country's development is all about. To some extent, this statement can be a truth since education provides the fundamental knowledge for us. It is the beginning of every science. Yet, education does not guarantee the ultimate advancement of the nation. We need loyal people who are diligent and hard-working whether or not they are educated. Thus the statement-'education is only single factor in country's development-is not entirely true.

Writing Feedback / Essay on "Why do people go to college?" [2]

hello, it is my first attempt to post my writing on the board. anyhow, thank you so much in advance!!

Several decades ago, only a few selected people were able to enter the college or university. In other words, it was quite rare to find those who completed college-degree called 'bachelor' or even attended college. However, there has been a drastic change in our society-specially people's point of view toward education. Accordingly, the number of people who are attending college or finished their study in college have been increased over the past decades. And they go to college with various reasons.

To begin with, people attend college for getting a better job. In the past, there were only a few needs for someone who specialized in a certain area for the company or factory. All requiring workers to do was to do very simple tasks which didn't need any complicated skill. As time passes, these kinds of simple, mundane works have been replaced by machine. Therefore, from large incorporations to even small companies want a person who is capable of completing somewhat more sophisticated job which can be obtained from college-education. That is why people go to college in order to satisfy companies' demand, so they could get a job after graduation.

Another reason is because of strong personal desire for learning. That is, people just want to learn something more deeply, which they are especially interested in. It is personal choice derived from one's innate desire. Unlike high school, people are taught one specific area as their major. Ultimately, it would help to expand their knowledge as well as to allow them to study what they really want. With increased knowledge, they become more confident and their self-esteem would be high as well.

As mentioned before, people choose to go to college with various reasons. One reason can be for getting a job by satisfying company's need. Another reason can be a personal desire for further learning. Regardless of their reasons, it is very meaningful that the opportunity for education has become more open to more people so that they actually get highly educated than the past. It is no wonder that our society would be increasingly developed in the positive way as many educated people strive to make it better.