Undergraduate / Brandeis Supplement, why brandeis? diff approach [5]

be harsh, make me cry, hold back no punches. if this essay sucks tell me so i can fix :]

Please include a short response explaining why you want to attend Brandeis. Please limit your response to 250 words or less.

As I sat at my desk looking at this question, a lot was speeding through my mind. With all of the amazing colleges and universities out there, why would I want to go to Brandeis? Who in their right mind would want to go to Brandeis? Brandies is a world class school that combines the feel of being at a small college with the education, resources, and faculty of a major university. Yuck! Brandeis is one of the newest and one of the most elite schools in the entire world. Pssht! Brandeis students never run out of things to do because Boston is only a free shuttle away. If their students decide they would rather stay on campus there are always things to enjoy on campus ; such as the traditions of going to the Pachanga's and sledding down the snowy hills on cafeteria treys. Why would I want to have fun? Why would I want to go to a school that boats about strong academics, an exciting and extravagant student life, and a phenomenal community? Who would want to go to such a place? Actually...that doesn't sound that bad at all. Sign me up!

Undergraduate / student ratio, business orientation, new heights - EMORY why emory? [10]

be brutally honest i can take it

Many students decide to apply to Emory University based on our size, location, reputation, and yes, the weather. Besides these valid reasons as a possible college choice, why is Emory University a particularly good match for you?

Undoubtedly the college for me, Emory University embodies everything I could desire in a University. With a seven to one student ratio, and a curriculum and business school that matches me almost as well as royal blue matches gold, Emory is my match. Emory really puts forth the effort to make it easy for the student to learn. Professors give out their personal cell phone number, students are encouraged to become competitive and to push each other to new heights. Being that my family lives only one state south, I would be only a day's drive away from my loved ones. This works out perfectly because it creates a win-win situation. It's a far enough distance so that I can use the excuse that "oh I just can't leave my studies and drive a whole day" and if I catch a bout of the homesickness I can return home without having to spend hundreds of dollars on a plane ticket. In addition to the perfect distance from home, and the perfect learning experience, Emory University offers a beautiful and activity filled campus. If I choose to I can take a break from my studies to work out in the school gym, play Frisbee on the McDonough Field, go to Six Flags, or even just enjoy an on campus film screening or concert with some fellow classmates. The royal blue and gold are calling my name, and I am more than ready to answer the call.

Undergraduate / Cornell Supplemental Essay, Arts and Sciences [3]

College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

My interest in business was sparked at a young age. I was five years old, and the fourth of July had come around yet again. My father had been running the family restaurant since the crack of dawn, selling breakfast to famished customers with a speed similar to that of a cheetah on the hunt.

...

Undergraduate / College Rap on "Perseverance " for UVA, Lemme know what you think? [7]

the question what is your favorite word and why
I responded

Rap on "Perseverance "

I never give up, never back down,
Never move an inch when I'm standing my ground;
Perseverance, ya ll already know what it is,
it's how I get mine and he don't get his;
This words my favorite,
Its number one,
Tells a bit about me an how I get things done;
Work my hardest,
Try my best,
Just to be a level above the rest;
Dedication, determination, devotion, and grit,
All synonyms of how I don't quit;

Never will I quit,
At least not soon,
Not till I've got a few houses on the moon,
Lamborghinis on Pluto, Maserati's on Mars,
I'll be sporting Gucci like the rest of the stars.

Perseverance,
my way of saying I'll never stop,
Why would I stop with my sight on the top?
U of V will get me there, I will pass, you will drop,
Call me graduated, On the stage, watch me talk.
Giving alum speeches, talking of my reaches
Saying how I was the starter hidden in the bleachers,
All I had to do was try, I already had the features,
You can do it to, an believe me you need ta
Send an app up to Charlottesville, To the U of VA

Undergraduate / Princeton Supplement Last 2 Summers [3]

let me know what you think, be brutally honest, and if you could please take a look at my other essays I will return the favor. Also I need a way to finish this one. any and all suggestions are appreciated

Prompt
Please tell us how you have spent the last two summers (or vacations between school years), including any jobs you have held, if not already detailed on the Common Application.

I had never been this excited in my entire life. It was the summer of 2008 and I was living large. My birthday, after what felt like a century of waiting, had finally come. I was awake, out of bed, and already eating breakfast by 7 a.m. One more hour and I would get my golden ticket to freedom, my driver's license. The drive to the DMV- and when I arrived, the line- was similar to that of waiting for my birthday, an eternity. When I finally heard my name crackling through the intercom, I was overcome with happiness. I jolted to the counter, and before I even had a chance to look at the camera, the curse of the driver's license photo had taken yet one more victim. I was crushed. However, the pain was short lived. As I walked out of the DMV my dad hollered "Ay hotshot, take me for a spin." Nothing in my life before this could compare to this moment. That was, undoubtedly, the highlight of my summer of 2008.

Other great moments included: having epic times going bowling, to the movies, and to the beach with my friends and family; going to garage sales every weekend with my younger sister to try and spend pennies on the dollar for the diamond in the rough, so I can turn around and sell it on eBay for ten times as much; and spending large, and possibly mentally damaging, amounts of time with my loving family.

In the summer of 2009, a similar even occurred. I got a new vehicle. Not just a regular vehicle, no way, I got a 1989 Plymouth Grand Voyager hauling van painted purple with yellow side stripes and silver sparkles. No matter how much I hated it at first, it came in handy. My father and I decided to open our very own thrift store. Every weekend when my sister and I would go garage sailing, leaving a business card at each one. By the end of the day, we were unloading the "Purple People Eater" of free, unwanted product that the garage sale owners didn't want to put away.

The majority of my summer was spent sifting through the masses of "junk" and shelving it for sale. However, I still found time to have some fun as well. Similarly to the year before I made memories at the beach, the movies, and the bowling alley with my friends and family. I decided to switch it up and try something new, clamming. My friends and I spent an entire day in the local river and must have harvested over 200 succulent clams. It was truly a day I would not forget, in a summer that I couldn't forget if I tried.

Undergraduate / intellectual discourse - Bowdoin College Supplement Essay [8]

The Bowdoin College Committee on Admissions requires that all applicants submit a supplemental essay so that we may become more familiar with you. Please address the topic below with a one or two page essay. Please write your name, Social Security number, and birth date at the top of each page. Your application will not be considered complete without this essay.

Please respond to the following:

Bowdoin is a liberal arts college that thrives on intellectual discourse in and out of the classroom. Students, faculty, and staff all participate in the exchange of ideas in an atmosphere characterized by high achievement and a sense of balance. The Admissions Committee is eager to learn more about you and your school community. Reflecting on your own educational experiences, how have you prepared yourself to enter an academic environment like Bowdoin's? (Suggested length: 250-500 words.)

One more week had flown by, yet again. December had just begun and the deadlines for an entire catalog of assignments and tasks had come that much closer. This next week was sure to be just like every other week of my senior year so far, hectic. At three in the morning, later that week, my Lil Wayne ringtone echoed through my house. This would anger most people, however when it's a fellow classmate working on the same IB project at the same time as you are, you tend let it slide. Many students would flinch at the idea of being up past midnight still doing homework, let alone three hours after that, but for me it was just another school night. As an entrepreneurial, community serving, family assisting, IB student I always have a lot on my plate to do, and most likely more than one serving. In a regular school week I have two to three community service activities, hours upon hours of essays and projects each night, two to three tests or quizzes to study for, a car auction at which I purchase vehicles to resell, multiple chores around my house, and (more recently) college applications and supplements that take hours to write, edit, re-edit, and finally turn in. Bowdoin has the reputation for having academic prestige and rigor. I am fully prepared, if not over-prepared, for the Bowdoin experience. I have been in the hardest level classes since I was in the gifted program in third grade. In middle school I was also in the gifted program and was taught college level subjects that we have not even discussed in the IB curriculum. When I reached high school, I enrolled in the MYP program; a program designed to prepare you for IB. When it became time, I elected to enroll in the IB program over the honors level courses at my school. I have been preparing for the rigor at Bowdoin since I was eight years old. I'm ready for the challenge, but are you ready for me to blow your mind?

please help! I will reciprocate.
please look at my others too

Undergraduate / Princeton Supplement event or experience [10]

In addition to the essay you have written for the Common Application, please select one of the following themes and write an essay of about 500 words in response. Please do not repeat, in full or in part, the essay you wrote for the Common Application.

Please do not double space your essay.

Option 4 - Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a jumping off point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation at the beginning of your essay.

"What do I know of life? What of myself?
I know not even my own work past or present..."

From the above quote, taken from the poem "Prayer of Columbus" written by Walt Whitman in his book "Leaves of Grass", I ask, what do we truly know?

"And badah-bing" I found myself declaring as I finished my sixth "masterpiece" It had taken me over a month to complete, but I think that my beached sailboat perfectly complimented the rest of my oil painting. As usual my art teacher meandered up to my table of free expression to comment on my finished production. Like a broken record player, she repeated the same phrase that she would always tell to me, "I really like how you choose different colors to represent your mood", but then she unexpectedly exclaimed, "but I just cannot understand why you would color the sky dark pink!" At first I perplexedly sat there and looked back at her. I was utterly confused. I hadn't painted the sky pink; to me, it was clearly a midnight blue. I had never quite knew what she meant by how I was "choosing different colors". I always felt that I had portrayed the original object with grave detail. Two Google searches and a quiz later we had come to the answer to all of our confusion. I was, and still am, partially colorblind.

It was like a door had been slammed in my face. In the two seconds that it took for the web browser to load, my entire world changed. I was set apart and couldn't see what everyone else could see. The world that I know was completely different from the world that the majority of society knows. For what felt like the longest time, I believed that I was at a disadvantage. I felt that I was inferior to those that could see shades of colors, and that they had the upper hand. I have realized that is an untrue thought. Ninety-two percent of the human population sees what they interpret to be the "proper colors". The other eight percent, that I am a part of, see the world in a different light, literally. This sets me apart from the crowd; it creates my own world, in which I am the only one who sees color the way that my eyes perceive it. There is no one else in the world with the same vision as me. This gives me the advantage. This allows me to perceive certain things in an entirely different way, that an individual with normal vision cannot.

That fateful day in art has taught me a valuable lesson, as well as allowed me to see the world in an entirely different scope. I do not know everything, and there is no way that I possibly can. Life is more than knowing everything. Life is seeing in a different perspective, and, in my case, at times a completely different color.

please help me, sending soon! I will write back i promise!

Undergraduate / BUSINESS IS MY PASSION; Carnegie Mellon/ Why major? [12]

Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.

Carnegie Mellon encompasses everything that I desire in a university. The Tepper School of Business is one of the most elite business schools on the globe. With business as my passion, having a university with an outstanding business program, and school, is a necessity. As a sociable person, I thrive being around crowds of people. However in the classroom I desire a much smaller setting. CMU, with its average class size being around thirty-four students, is the perfect size for me.

At CMU there is never a shortage of things to learn about or of things to do. In my readings, I uncovered the tradition of painting the fence. At first I felt the sorrow of the students when they filled in the ravine separating the two schools, but when I heard about the new tradition of painting the fence, I became overcome with joy to only hope that one day, I too, could contribute to the masterpiece.

CMU is the frontrunner for technology at a collegiate level. CMU was the very first school to think of having campus-wide internet available to all of its students when they developed Wireless Andrew, the first, and still the largest, university wireless internet system. This was an extremely amazing step into the future. In addition, all of CMU seems to be technology oriented. All campus communication is through the internet. CMU is obviously looking to be ahead of the game and partake in the ways of the tomorrow's future today.

Pittsburgh, a tremendously electrifying city, is only minutes away from CMU. In turn, this means an unlimited mass of thrilling things to do and enlivening places to go. I wouldn't need to own a vehicle, because everything is practically in walking distance. Moreover, I wouldn't be afraid to walk to the city, due to the low crime rate, and because the security around the school is extraordinary. If it comes to the point where I don't want to walk, then I have the luxury of having the ability to utilize the public transport for free with my CMU ID card.

As for my interest in business, it was sparked at quite an early age. I was five years old, and the fourth of July had come around yet again. My father had been running the family restaurant since the crack of dawn, selling breakfast to famished customers with a speed similar to that of a cheetah on the hunt. As the day drew to a close, my family had all gathered in the restaurant for dinner. When I ran into the building to give my "daddy" a big bear hug, I caught him assessing the day's receipts. When I saw the mound of money, I exclaimed, "Wow daddy! Where did all of that money come from?" He retorted "Son, if you listen closely and learn from me, one day you can have ten times as much." Not a week later I had created handmade bookmarks, and had set up shop at the entrance to the restaurant. This was my initial day in business. I made eight dollars on that historic day, and became determined that I would be in business for the rest of my life. To this day, that attitude has remained with me, hence my interest in the academic field of business.

I have numerous goals in my life that I intend on reaching. This past year has been rough for my family, to say the least. The economy has forced my father into bankruptcy, and many of our family businesses into foreclosure. One of my goals in life is to become successful enough that I will not ever have to worry about my finances. I want to retire at an early age, and use the money from my still prospering businesses to help as many people in the world as I possibly can. I would like to help, not only the starving and uneducated children in Africa, but also, the children here in America. I want to be able to extend a helping hand to those families that are going through the same problems that my family is going through to this day. I know that by attending Carnegie Mellon that I will receive the tools that I need to sculpt my life from a block of clay into the gleaming statue of my goals.

Other schools/programs that I am applying to: Babson College, Bates College, Boston College, Bowdoin College, Brandeis University, Brown University, California Institute of Technology, College of William and Mary, Cornell University, Dartmouth College, Emory University, Florida Atlantic University, Harvard College, New York University, Princeton University, University of Florida, University of Miami, University of Pennsylvania, University of Virginia, Wesleyan University, Williams College, and Yale University.

do you think i should list all of my colleges? i know they asked me too but it shows how broadly Im applying?

please help, i will reciprocate :]