Writing Feedback / (SAT essay)ARE there heroes who will be remembered forever? [8]

Note: I wrote this essay in about 25 min according to the Sat ESSAYS. Please grade it min1& max 6.

ARE there heroes who will be remembered forever? This is one of many questions that people ask these days. Well, no one can answer such a question because such a question will be answered as time passes by. To get an exact answer quickly, you will have to abet from a psychic, which is not a wise idea! But, we can make a probability to approximately find an answer.

That is why I decided to make a contest about heroes, to see if people still remember them. Because Henry Wadsworth once said:" Time has a doomsday book, on whose pages he is continually recording illustrious names. But as often as a new name is written there, an old one disappears. Only a few stand in illuminated characters never to be effaced. Before starting my contest, I had to collect some heroes' names. There are too many, and in various categories. A person can be a hero in anything, as an artist, solider, president, inventor, and the list goes on. Covert that I finished writing my questions, I directly started the contest. Not only in my country, but also worldwide, by posting my contest on my Face book and MySpace account.

The contest in my country was going fine. Many people participated, but few who had good answers. Questions related to the country's heroes where almost answered perfectly, hence history is being studied in school. The contest on the web was surprisingly being answered from all ages and countries. But some left some comments that shows that some people do not even care about heroes. I remember a comment from a girl called Sandy saying:" Who is Thomas Edison, is he renowned, why do not you just ask about Justin Bieber, he is much renown than him!"Others said that my question where knotty.

But some where good, one gave me the whole biography of Shakespeare. And the other gave me Leonardo Da Vinch painting names with an explanation of each paint. Adam caught my attention on his Michael Jackson comment. He explained how the king of pop impacts his life and how he was affected by Michael's Biography. This proofs my theory that anyone could be a hero in any category .

After doing the contest, I made the following conclusion. Heroes are like one's favorite song, it may last for a while, but it will be replaced by a new one later. Except for those who believe that nothing loses its value when it becomes old. I end my observation by saying that It does not matter how long years will fly by, at least some people will know our heroes value and try to spread the knowledge worldwide.

Writing Feedback / Does everyone see everything from the same perspective- SAT essay [7]

Note:I wrote this essy in 25 mins according to the sat rules,so I revised it but did not correct the three spelling mistakes i found(she must KNOW),(TWO old men), (YOUNG girl).Plz rate it,the min score to give is 2,and the max score is 12.PLz RATE IT.

Topic:Does everyone see everything from the same perspective

Does everyone see everything from the same perspective? This question drove many people crazy? Today, after I made many researches, I finally found the that answer for that question. Which is no.

I found this question while reading the newspaper beside the café, and out of the blue, I found a mother and her teenage daughter arguing. It was about a dancing party during midnight. The mother refused to let her daughter to go, because she thought it is dangerous for a younge girl to be alone in a dancing part with strange boys at the middle of the night. While the daughter kept on begging , nagging, giving empty promises to abet her mother in chores, reminding her mother that she is the one who raised her, and she must now that could never do something wrong. It does not matter who convinced who in the end, my point is there was to people arguing because they had different perspective. As I kept on walking on the streets, I found to old men talking about war. If all people had the same perspective, then, there should not be war. Then, two married ladies passed by me, they were talking about how their marriage is on stake because they keep on fighting with their husbands for silly reasons. Which is another proof that people have different perspective.

People having different perspectives is not always a negative thing, because if all people think in the same way, we will end up working, dressing, and thinking in the same way. This would lead to a huge disaster. Because if all of us are farmers, then who will treat us if we become sick. And the opposite is also true!

Thanks for reading it.

Writing Feedback / P.S:Meet me"You know where " (chapter two), Reaching the lake [3]

chapter two: Reaching the lake seems like forever

Running so fast, Sindy fell into a hole,not so deep, but deep enough to stop her from escaping. Everytime she tries to get out of that hole, more soil gets into her eyes and mouth. She started to panic, and then she sat down and heard something click, it was alittle bitt painful, she looked down and saw her cellphone cracked into dozens of peacices."Good job Sindy,how on earth am i going to get out of here now, I guess I am the only freak who would here",she said.''Atleast it won't get worse", as soon as she said that, it started to rain! Why me, she kept on screaming. Luckly, the was a boy walking back home and heard her yelling, so he kept on tracking Sindy's voice , but his dog reached that hole before him.And as soon as she noticed the dog, she fainted, she has a phobia from dogs. when Sam reached the hole, and saw a strange girl lying without any movement.The hole was not so deep,and he was tall fit ,stronge guy, no muscles or abbs,but strong. He stretched his hands into the hole,grabbed both of her hands ,and pulled her out of the hole." What would bring anyone to this part of the town? "He thought ,as he carried her to his house, which was beside that lake.When he knocked the door, a forty-eight years old women opened the door, she was his mother." Were have been at this time of the night?" When she notices that he is carring a girl,she points her finger and ask who is this girl, and why are you carrying her?As he entered, he told his mother the whole story.'Looks like she pumped her head',said his mother as she pointed on her forehead.I am going to get her some ice.Sindy started to wake up,and Sam told his dog,Spotty to get out of the house for a while.As the dog went outside,sindy opened her eyes,and looked at Samand said in a low fragile voice:"Who are you,and where am I",as she sat on the sofa. He answered:"Well,luckly, you where not the only freak who was there".She smiled the she looked at clock that was hanged on the wall,it was after two am."Thanks for helping me, but I have to go know"she said while standing up,but she got dizzy and sat back on the sofa."Why are you in a hurrybesides, it is too late and dark out there, you may fall in another trouble",as soon as he said that, his mother came in and gave her son an ice wrapped in a piece of a cloth,then he placed it on Sindy's forehead,and kept holding it.He looked her and said in surprised voice:"Sindy Brook,is this really you!"Sindy nodded. He asked her:"How is your new book coming, my sister keeps ontalking about you!" She looked at him with an angry look,then finally answered:Fine! He looked at her surprised of her attiude, and asked:"How much did you write?."Not much ":Sind answered ." Can I at least know the titltle of your..",I" DID NOT WRITE ANYTHING",she interrupted him. He was about to ask her why, but he felt from the look of her face that she was trying to tell him not to ask her why.Changing the topic,he said:"So what where doing out their,I mean you said that only freaks would walk in that passway,but you do not look like a freak to me?" She smiled":I did not really mean that." He nodded.She started telling him the story.When she finished,he told her wow.She answered him:" You mean super wow."No,what you said is amazing, but I meant you are so lucky,look out of this window:he pointed.She looked through the window,and screamed "OMG".She was going to get up, but firmly, he stopped her from doing that.You have to rest,tomorrow you can go out and do what you have to do."But...",No buts :he intrrupted.She replied :"Seems like it is going to take me forever to get to the lake,How can i get to be so close when I am so far away." He smiled as he turned of the light, took her to sleep in the guests room so she can sleep,on his way out,she asked him:I still did not know my savor's name?"He looked at her smilling and told her:"Sam,my name is Sam ,goodnight Sindy."Then he closed the door, She was plannibg to sneak out to see the lake,but she fell asleep.

Chapter I

Writing Feedback / Story: Meet Me 'You Know Where', Reading an unknown letter [7]

Hi, I have always loved writting stories and dream about puplishing them in a book and getting mine on the best selling books shelf. So I decided to see how people reacct to my stories by letting you read the first chapter from my new story. The story is called PS:Meet Me 'You Know Where'

Chapter one: Reading an unknown letter

Sindy, a twenty-five years old girl who works as a writer, was once walking on the maple street in Russia. She was very angry and kept on thinking; ( How can an adept writer like her has not been able to write one page on her new book the is dwed to be puplished after three months)? While walking, she found an old house that seemed to be empty just like her mind.As she sat on the stairs of that house, teardrops from her eyes started falling on the ground just like the rain that falls on a rainy day. Suddenly, the strong wind blew a paper on her face. Sindy removed the paper from her face and was a bought to to tear the paper into dozens of peices out of her anger, but she decided to read it instead. It was a letter, she started reading out loud:

4-6-1989
Dear Adam,

I can noy take it anymore, to those people who murdered my family forced me to be their maid, or to be more precise, their slave, because if I didn't, they were going to kill the last person alive in my family, my little sister . Yesterday I heard them talking about killing her, so i decided to put her in her basket a put the basket in the lake, even if she drowned, it is more mercifull than being murdered on those craetures hands. I am not aloud to speak toanyone, the letters you have recieved from me was written during midnight when everyone is sleeping. I am planning to run away and accept your invetation of comming to live with you and your family.

With love,

Sandra
P.S: Meet me tomorrow' you know where'.

Sindy folded the letter and started wondering about what happened to thet girl, Sandra's words touched her heart deeply. The, she realized that she can write in her new book about sandra, but she was curious to know more about what happended to her. So, she decided to search for the other letters Sandra wrote befor this one. Sindy thought for a second, the wind was blowing north , so if I walked south, I may find the rest of the letters, a clue , or even nothing. After ten minutes of walking, she found that the maple street splits into three pathways. The first leads to a long lake, the second path leads to an old farm, and the third path leads to midtown . She remebered that when the letter covered her face, it was damp and had something green on it. Sindy figured out that the letter came from the first path ,and started walking,more like running toward the lake.

Writing Feedback / Jealousy -- a bad human habit! [7]

Jealousy Essay

Have anyone ever wondered why there is too much jealousy in this world? I believe that it is a bad human habit! But, what is jealousy? Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values. Such as relationships, friendships, or love.

Jealousy is considered an advanced emotion, it is consisted of three basic emotions. Which are anger ,sadness ,and disgust. There are many kinds of jealousy. One of these kinds ,and the worst, is teen jealousy. And this a fact! And it is really complicated. Not that I have been through it, but that's why they invented TV, right? To be able to see life in different ways and different point of views. Even I read about jealousy in newspapers and magazines. An example of teenage jealousy, there is a new girl in high school who is smart ,beautiful, and loves helping others. We all know that crap thing about the homecoming queen. The other girls will be jealous because they now that all of the students will vote for her so they plan doing something bad to her...so the story will end with at least one of both parties hurt and broke, but it probably be the mean girls. William Penn once said: but a torment to themselves. Another type of jealousy is friendship, which breaks the each friends heart and leaves an ugly scar that would never get cured. For example, in Julius Caesar '' a play by William Shakespeare'' Cassius and Brutus were best friends, and Caesar was going to be crowned a king. But Cassius was jealous , so he played with Brutus mind and convinced him that he would be a better king. So the two loyal friends turned to jealous enemies and killed him. As we are busy being jealous, others are planning fiery plans about how to destroy us. A wise man once said that ' Envy is a waste of time'. And that's true.

I blame jealousy for everything bad that have ever happened during the past two thousand and ten years. From war to loyalty to common sense. As Elizabeth Bowen once said' Jealousy is no more than feeling alone against smiling enemies'. The problem is that the enemies are no more smiling, their smile turned into loud annoying, horrible giggles in our faces. Who knows what they will be able to do as we remain in jealousy.

thanks 4 reading

Writing Feedback / Loyalty essay [8]

I have this essay as a homework for next week. Rate it please and tell me your opinion.

Loyalty

I have always heard about loyalty in movies, music, news, which means through in media. What is loyalty anyway? For me it is a word composed of seven letters, if my spelling was correct! Is it a noun, verb, adjective, or an adverb? Even though my grammar average is very good, I'm still confused what is it actually. Not because it is a hard question, but because I have ever been able to see it in real life!

Now back to my first question, what is loyalty? When I googled the meaning, I found out that it is mainly composed of trust, another word for it is allegiance. Can someone in these days trust anyone? In my opinion, it is really something hard to find someone to trust. Even your friends, sometimes it is better to keep your secrets to yourself. Never trust anyone. Readers may start to wonder why am I babbling too much about trust. Well, because without trust there is no loyalty! For example, in Julius Caesar (a play by William Shakespeare), Caesar and Cassius were best friends, and with friendship comes loyalty, right?! Well there was a third friend, his name was Brutus, and he knew that Caesar would be crowned a king. He thought that all the three of them are in equal in bravery and capability of becoming a king. So he started playing with Brutus mind, convincing him that he should be the king, by sending him written letters with different handwritings mentioning how bad Caesar is. So Cassius was convinced, and started to be against his best friend Caesar. What a loyal friend! But not all people are inelegance; we have to learn how to pick. For example, in The Merchant of Venice "another play by Shakespeare", there was man who lends some money from a guy, and that guy told him that if he didn't return the money back (after a certain number of days) he will take one Kg of his body meat. The days passed, and the man was not able to pay back the money. So the other guy took him to the court. A stranger man said that he will defend him, at the end; it appeared to be his wife who defended him.

Now, after reading both stories, I have learned that there are still good people in this world. The problem is that they about only makeup 6 percent of our community. But it is not a hopeless case! Guess we can find a loyal company. If we were lucky enough! And pray god to help us find a loyal person in our lives.

Writing Feedback / Does having a lot of options make people happy? [7]

This was an essay homework,my teacher gave me more marks on it than (common sense),eventhough i did not like what I wrote about Does having alot of ...Please rate it,is it good for a tenth grader????????

Does Having a lot of options make people happy?

Does having a lot of options make people happy? Now that's what I call a good question? It would be hard to me to answer it! But it actually depends on the type of people. Some enjoy a variety of options , the others just don't. I met three people , Krystal, Beth, and Elizabeth, and each one will answer the readers question in three different ways!

Krystal told me that there is nothing better than options, that is why she prefers to go to the supermarket rather than a minimarket, because she would have more variety . Seeing new stuff makes her not bored.

Beth told me that it just drives her crazy. Everytime she goes to a café with her friends, she freaks out, what should she drink, and if she for example decided to drink coffee ,which kind should she buy? There is Expresso ,Turkish coffee, and so on. That's why she likes to go to a place were they only sell one type of whatever.

Elizabeth doesn't even think about it, but she thinks it is good to have some variety so people (from slums to business men) will be able to get their needs with suitable prices.

Does options make people happy, more options mean more money, but does money makes people happy ? No. But we have to remember that money doesn't buy happiness, eventhough we live in a material world.

Writing Feedback / What Is Common Sense? [5]

This essay was my schoolhomework,my classmates liked it,and my teacher told me 2 post it online, so please rate it (0-10).

Common Sense

If someone will ever ask me what is common sense ,I will not be surprised, because I doubt that if it exists anymore, or even had ever existed! Why? Now that is what I call a silly question! Is war a common sense? No.

George Bernard Shaw once said:"Common sense is an instinct, enough of it geniuses."Well, I disagree, because during my past fifteen years of live, I heard of many geniuses, but never heard how did they use their common sense to stop war, distruction, or even anything. Even a great king can not think in common sense. For example, Creon, the king of Thebs, he killed his niece so noone would think is weak. But as a result, he lost his family. If a king cannot think in reason, then how can a poor boy who is hungry and have many troubles have common sense. In Romeo and Juliet, why did they call the play a tragedy, simply because their parents have got a headfirst over that stupid grudge .Or the genius person who invented the nuclear bomb, it only caused distruction, but was it wise? No. More examples, okay. Is leaving our parents to travel to find work and never call or vist for several years, to see people dying and never say stop? The answer for all of these is NO!

Well, writing about common sense does not show any common sense at all. Because as I said, it is simply dead, just like love. Love don't live here anymore=common sense is dead! It is more like a legend, like Zoro, which people hoped it existed, but it just doesn't exist.

Thanks 4 reading please rate or grade my work .I am a tenth grader.