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Posts by navalava
Joined: Jul 18, 2010
Last Post: Jan 21, 2011
Threads: 6
Posts: 30  

Displayed posts: 36
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navalava   
Jan 21, 2011
Student Talk / Georgia Tech - wondering about my chances of getting in? [29]

For GTech, I'm actually unsure as to how they do their admissions, but I think a big factor is whether you're in-state or out-of-state. I'm out-of-state, my SAT is 2180, and a ton of extracurriculars and awards. I got decent grades (A's and B's) and took as many AP's as I could fit in my schedule. My essay was great (I got a letter back from one of the colleges I applied to that specifically stated how much they liked my essay). But I got deferred from GTech. However, I also applied to University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and got accepted, because I'm in-state. This leads me to think that GTech does not pay as much importance to extracurriculars or essay as much as school grades and in-state/out-of-state.

As for schools like Harvard, Yale, Princeton, I would think that great performance on standardized tests is expected. Pretty much every applicant has those. What will get you admission there is how good your essay is, and how good your recs are.
navalava   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / ("Princeton in the Nation's Service") How to Improve Princeton Supplement Essay? [30]

First of all, let me say that it was an amazing essay...one of the best I've seen so far. It's very hard to sound sincere in a college essay (I've struggled with it myself), but the way you wrote it makes the reader feel that it comes from the heart.

That last paragraph where you kept repeating "I will fight" sounded like you were some kind of motivational speaker, haha. It reminded me of Obama saying "Yes, we can!"

Just one suggestion:

I will fight hate, -every kind of hate-, but not with fists and fury.

I don't know, I just think the sentence "flows" better without that part.

Good luck to you and I will be shocked if you aren't accepted! :)
navalava   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / I was Suspended and spent a day in ISS: CommonApp [5]

If this isn't going to be on your record, I wouldn't mention it. It's very well explained, in my opinion, and if I were on the admissions committee, I wouldn't mark you down for it. In fact, you would gain points for explaining an incident so honestly. However, not all admissions readers are that open-minded.
navalava   
Dec 28, 2010
Undergraduate / "Engineering a Pokémon team" - Yale Supplement [9]

I must say it's a very unique essay! I think admissions will like it! (I certainly did.)
However, you talk about some things that may be unfamiliar to an admissions reader, such as 'Thunder Fusion' and 'Cresselia'-I'm assuming that's a pokemon (I stopped keeping up after Johto :)). Instead of mentioning specific pokemon names, just say 'a pokemon'.

Threats: Azelf, Infernape, Scizor

This part was a little confusing too. Once again, I'm assuming they're all pokemon (hmm, scizor..that's sounds familiar), but I doubt your admissions reader knows a lot about that ;)
navalava   
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / Harvard, Yale Essay (maybe): Choice 1 on a Cow Necropsy [8]

I'm sorry, I was being very confusing when I referred to "the last part" several times.

I think you should cut the last sentence:

"Learn from the dead to heal the living. That is what it means to be alive"

This part sounds a little cliche to me.

I think the last paragraph is the most gripping part of your essay, and would make a much better ending. In other words, I liked the Frankenstein part. :)
navalava   
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "Traveling to India" - experience Common App- question [3]

I think it's a well-written essay, but I don't see how the poverty you talked about led your decision to become a neurosurgeon. It seems like that part was just thrown in.

Also, this is just my opinion, but I think common topics such as global warming, poverty, preservation of nature, importance of a mother, etc. should be avoided. There are simply too many essays on the same topic and to an admissions reader, reading all of the essays pertaining to those topics will become monotonous, regardless of how well they are expressed. It is not through any fault in your essay that the reader will not like it. It is because humans want change. That's why they say that they want something 'unique'. They don't want to read a bunch of essays on the same topic. If you have the time, I would suggest you try to write about something different. If not, that's fine. This is a pretty good essay, and if you suggest work out that last part, I think you would be a pretty good candidate.
navalava   
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / Harvard, Yale Essay (maybe): Choice 1 on a Cow Necropsy [8]

Very nice essay! That last part reminded me of Frankenstein! He searched graves in pursuit of the secret of life. I didn't find any errors in your essay, but yeah, I think you might want to cut out that last part. Sounds cliche to me. I think the sentence before that is a much better ending.
navalava   
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "TV shows about vampires and ghosts" -Stanford Intellectual Vitality (Cannabilism) [5]

You need to elaborate more on how your newly gained knowledge affected you. If you can connect that knowledge to how you were affected, then it would be appropriate. But I felt like your essay had a rather abrupt ending.

"Perceptions are always unreliable. ItThey can be corrected by".

I would start elaborating after "Perceptions are always unreliable." That looks like a good starting point. I like the idea, but you just need to talk about its impact on you a little bit more. Good luck!
navalava   
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "The Free Will; an answer to this dilemma" . Brown Supplement [8]

First of all, let me say that I absolutely LOVED your idea. If I had to write on the same topic, I probably would not have thought of something like this. I think my comments are a little biased because I spend quite a bit of time thinking about stuff like this, but I think admissions will like it as well. I like how you started with The Matrix. That captures your readers' attention.

But as Rishi noted, I don't think that fits in very well with what you wrote. You need a better connection between the two. I wouldn't throw out that part completely though--your quote from The Matrix is what drew me to your essay..it was unique.

Just a few suggestions on the last part:

"I would like to believe that we have the free will, but don't know how to prove sothat . I don't know, but I'm eager to learn. I hope that I will have an answerbe closer to finding the answer to this dilemma by the second time I enter the Van Wickle Gates."

Also, just wondering, what are the Van Wickle Gates? Is that from the Matrix?
navalava   
Oct 27, 2010
Writing Feedback / Identifying with the villain, a figure who wasn't a hero [3]

Here is the topic:
"It's easy to identify with the hero-the literary or historical figure who saves the day. Have you ever identified with a figure who wasn't a hero-a villain or a scapegoat, a bench-warmer or a bit player? If so, tell us why this figure appealed to you-and if your opinion changed over time, tell us about that, too."

Below is my response. Please suggest any improvements!

searching for a "greater truth"



I have always been an idealistic and philosophical individual. There were times when I felt that all of my endeavors towards the pursuit of knowledge were worthless, because once I die, none of that really matters. At such times, I felt that a search for a "greater truth" would be a more lasting achievement in life. But I did not know exactly what that "greater truth" represented, or what its significance would be.

In 6th grade, I read "Frankenstein" by Mary Shelley. I was able to connect to the main character, Victor Frankenstein because he also seemed to be searching for a "greater truth", which he defined as "the nature behind all things" (p. 7). However, Frankenstein did not simply entertain the thought of a higher body of knowledge; He pursued it. Although he had created (in his view) a monstrosity, I felt that he was completely justified in conducting his experiments. He had a principle in mind, and he followed it. Sometimes experiments go awry, and sometimes they yield the desired result. The end result is not what matters. The perseverance to conduct the experiment matters.

When venturing into unexplored bodies of knowledge, there are bound to be unexpected results. If people are prohibited from exploring for that very reason, human society would not advance! A famous example which is introduced in every biology textbook is Alexander Fleming's accidental discovery of penicillin. He discovered that mold (of the penicillium family) had stopped the growth of the staphylococcus culture.

The world exists to be explored. Frankenstein embodied these ideals and I admire him for his tenacity in his search for the truth.
navalava   
Oct 27, 2010
Book Reports / What lies somewhere over the rainbow? The Alchemist Introduction [5]

In Paulo Choelho's The Alchemist, the main character, S antiago is forced to realize that one of the greatest illusions in life is the idea that something better than what we already have lies somewhere over the rainbow.

After journying far and wide the most important assets are those that we always had. This doesn't include the novel in it. Maybe say something like, "After journeying far and wide, Santiago comes to the realization that the most important assets are those we already possess."
navalava   
Oct 26, 2010
Undergraduate / Optional Essay-Talking about my personality, interests, etc. [6]

I addressed the reader towards the end. I am wondering if that is ok in an essay? Please suggest any improvements and ways to scale down the essay. I am about 100 words over the limit.

This is the essay topic:
"Is there anything else you would like to share with us regarding your background or interests that you didn't have the opportunity to share elsewhere? Have you overcome exceptional difficulties or challenges? Have you participated in any programs or activities to help you prepare for college, such as Governor's School, Project Uplift, Gear-Up, AVID, Upward Bound, LEAD, or Summer Ventures?"

Here is my response:

In the summer of 2010, I took four courses at Central Piedmont Community College (Java, Web Development Tools, C#, and Visual Basic) and discovered my passion for working with computers. I loved looking for bugs in the code, correcting them, and running the program. Perhaps my fascination with programming comes from the fact that it is similar to chess. There are so many ways to bring about a particular result, and attention to detail is paramount in both. Different languages allowed different features to the program. Switching from one language to another was like changing the rules of chess. If the bishop could move vertically, and the rook could move diagonally (instead of vice versa as in normal chess), so many new possibilities would arise!

My ultimate goal, however, lies in the medical field. After majoring in computer science, I plan to apply to medical school, and specialize in neurosurgery. When I took Honors Anatomy & Physiology in 10th grade, I was almost entranced by the intricacy of the nervous system. Learning about the speed with which messages are relayed to the brain, the complex mechanisms of neuromuscular junctions, and the multifarious interactions of neurons helped arouse my interest in the nervous system. Perhaps this is one of my flaws, but I tend to have a fascination for the unknown. It is said that the brain is the least known part of the body. This field appealed to me philosophically as well. What better to study than my own brain, the origin of all of my thoughts?

Through my application, I hope I have presented myself as clearly and concisely as possible. Thank you for your time and patience.
navalava   
Oct 17, 2010
Undergraduate / (Fasting) - What is the best advice you've ever given or received? [4]

Thanks a lot for the corrections!

Also, for one of your corrections, you said to change "This is how it feels to fast" to "This is how it feels when you are fasting ." But I thought it's not good to put 'you' into essays.

Well the fasting is on religious days, but I don't do it for that purpose. I do it as a test of my willpower. I didn't include the part about religion because I felt it was irrelevant to the topic.

Yeah, I think focused a lot on the hardship too. The problem is, I had to contrive a lot of this. My father never said that to me...I read it from a book. I just thought it would be more fitting to say that my father said it. And the advice didn't actually impact me as much as I say it did. So it was easier for me to focus on what I actually felt, which was the hardship of fasting than focusing on something I made up.
navalava   
Oct 17, 2010
Undergraduate / (Fasting) - What is the best advice you've ever given or received? [4]

Tik...tok...tik...tok. The seconds ticked by monotonously. Time had slowed down. I stared at the clock ferociously, willing it to move faster, to end the agony. My stomach writhed and made loud noises. Food was within my reach, but I could not eat. My throat was parched dry. I had a cup filled with water, but I could not drink. This is how it feels to fast.

My first few tries at fasting failed miserably. I simply could not let a whole day pass by without eating a Pop-tart. I was surprised when I saw my 80-year old grandparents easily fasting two days at a time whereas I could not restrain myself even for a day.

"Maybe old people don't need to eat as much," I thought, trying to make excuses for myself. Deep inside, I knew that this was caused by my lack of strong will. I was a slave, dictated by the impulses of my mind. My father once said, "Control your mind, and it can be your best friend. Lose control, and it can be your greatest enemy." Like so many others, I had lost control, and my own mind was my enemy. I took it as a challenge to free myself from the shackles that my mind had cast upon me. I would fast to prove to myself that I have a strong will.

After many years of practice, I am now able to fast with relative ease. However, fasting is not the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal is to develop a strong will through which I can pursue my career goals in a more efficient manner.

I feel like this essay is too mechanical...like there's not that much feeling behind it. Also, I'm really not happy with my ending. I want to somehow relate this to my personality, and to my studies, but not really sure how. I went a little over the word limit at 270 words (supposed to be 250), but it said "approximately", so that should be okay. The quote seems cliche to me, but I'm using it for lack of a better one. Also, if you have any suggestions for a good title, I would really appreciate it. Thanks!
navalava   
Oct 17, 2010
Undergraduate / "I am an anticarcinogen" - MIT undergrad [14]

Also, one more thing. You talk a lot about being sarcastic. Although you showed us that you're being sarcastic in order to get rid of the stress, the word 'sarcastic' has a negative connotation to it. You may want to replace it with something else. Also don't put 'cynical.'
navalava   
Oct 17, 2010
Undergraduate / "Making Thoreau Proud" -- Common App Personal Statement [7]

Gotta say, I was really touched by this essay. It sort of carried me through, and I was able to "feel" what you felt, and think the way you think. Can't really find any grammatical/syntax-related errors, but I would suggest you sort of "water down" the aspect of the "perils of industrialization". While you may really feel that way about it, someone else may feel that you are being a hypocrite because you grew up in an industrialized society, you enjoy its benefits, and then you talk about how bad it is. I would focus more specifically on what it is about industrialized society that you didn't like. Obviously you don't feel that everything about industrialized society is bad because you were introduced to Walden by your teacher, who is part of an educational system created by society. Try not to use too many generic phrases. Great job!
navalava   
Oct 17, 2010
Undergraduate / "I am an anticarcinogen" - MIT undergrad [14]

I liked your essay! Yes, I definitely don't think you should put in that part about not being able to handle serious situations. I get exactly what you mean there, but then that's just me. A lot of other people won't see it that way. I like your topic-it's unique. As for the informal style, keep it. I think it suits you. It'll give admissions officers a change from reading highly sophisticated language all the time.
navalava   
Oct 6, 2010
Undergraduate / "There is a reason why the other man thinks", the best advice [2]

The word approx. is 250. I'm at 285, but I think that should be ok. Here is my essay. Please suggest any improvements.

"There is a reason why the other man thinks and acts as he does. Ferret out that reason-and you have the key to his actions, perhaps to his personality."

The best advice I have ever received comes from Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends & Influence People." In it, Carnegie stresses the importance of understanding the other person's perspective. His quote emphasizes a characteristic that all human beings share: We believe ourselves to be right. Each human is, without exception, egocentric. For each one of us, reality is formed upon the basis of our experiences. Hence, the concept of a "reality" becomes obsolete and perception is all that exists. In a world filled with nearly seven billion unique perceptions, who am I to say that mine is the one "true" perception? But the fact that I exist and continue to maintain my set of beliefs is proof of my bias. This realization has allowed me to analyze events and concepts in ways that I had never thought possible.

One of the main areas that I have reconsidered is religion. Being brought up by a highly religious mother and a father who liked to play devil's advocate, I was not very certain of my stance on religion. Doesn't the existence of one God contradict the existence of another? Or do all Gods represent human perceptions of the same entity? But isn't God supposed to be the ultimate reality? Accepting that God can be perceived in different ways goes against the definition of "ultimate" reality. For that matter, does God even exist? After reading Carnegie's book, I was able to extricate myself from this maze of doubts and embrace a new definition of reality. Reality is perception.

What I don't like about this essay is that I don't really seem to be "saying" anything. I introduce an idea, but I feel like I don't apply it properly. Maybe I should have chosen a different example as something I reconsidered? Can anyone give me any suggestions as to what I should replace religion with?
navalava   
Oct 6, 2010
Essays / How to write a good essay? Give me some pointers (imaginery, phrases) [7]

Something that worked for me when I was writing mine was to sort of "forget" the topic. I just brainstormed, and thought of stuff that I would like to write about. Stuff where I could show my passion for something, and where my personality could shine. I wrote an essay on one of those topics, and it turns out that I can adjust it to fit the essay topics for most of the colleges that I'm applying to.
navalava   
Aug 29, 2010
Undergraduate / UC prompt1: describe your world and how it shaped your aspirations... [12]

Excellent essay! I absolutely love the way you carry the reader through to the end.

A few suggestions:

"Since that revolutionary incident"
Instead of 'incident', perhaps 'moment' would be more fitting, because I think you are referring to the moment that your program compiled properly and displayed "Hello World!".

"My music tutors taught me the poignant harmony between mind and soul; through my flute and piano, from lush lullabies to magnificent symphonies, I was imbued with emotional wholeness."

I really liked this sentence.

"All of these people taught me that the successful person always helps others and undoubtedly fashioned my aspirations."
I think you are referring to 'all of these people' when you say 'fashioned my aspirations' but the way the sentence is worded, it seems like you are referring to 'the successful person.' You may want to word that in a different way.

"However, it was my helpful friends who most shaped my life dream to help others while pursuing something I love to do."
I would put it like so: "However, my helpful friends most shaped my life dream to help others while pursuing something I love to do."

"my friends and I set off to develop an interactive program that would graphically guide the users through step-wise calculations to the correct solutions"

Cool idea! It gave me some nice ideas for my own chem class! Gotta say, it "molded my perception of the world." ;)

This is a great essay, and I wish you the best of luck in getting into MIT!
navalava   
Aug 29, 2010
Undergraduate / Best advice essay on "Hakuna matata" (from The Lion King) [4]

I have to write about the best advice I have ever given or received. The word limit is 250, but I went 100 words over it. If anyone can help me cut out unnecessary parts, I would really appreciate it. Also, I'm not very happy with how this essay turned out, and am considering writing a new one. Do you think I should do that, or is it possible to make this essay sound better? Here it is:

In my childhood, whenever I did something that demanded a lot of effort, I received a sugar crystal. As I grew older, whenever I did something that demanded a lot of effort...I received a nod. Not that nods are bad, but I wanted something more. Something that would invigorate me and restore some energy back into my monotonous routine. Something that would free my soul from its shackles and allow me to stare at the world in wide-eyed wonder once again. I wanted something that would make me see the world in a whole new perspective.

The best advice I have ever been given comes from one of my favorite childhood movies: The Lion King. As simba lay depressed over the death of his father, his newly found friend Timon gave him some advice to cope with his loss. He said "Hakuna Matata" (meaning 'no worries'). There is something profoundly remarkable about having no worries. The very concept is alien to our highly competitive world.

As I entered my junior year, homework and stress increased dramatically. AP classes were unlike any other class I had ever encountered. Multiple-choice questions were taken to a whole new level of thinking and timed essays left me scrambling for words. Along with my classes came the commitments of the various clubs in which I had assumed active roles. Preparation for Chess tournaments, Science Olympiad competitions, and HOSA conferences took up a large chunk out of my time. As the relentless flow of work absorbed most of my time, I began to feel like the little simba in the movie. I felt overwhelmed.

Timon's advice proved to be an invaluable asset in dealing with stress. Every night after finishing my homework, I created my personal 'hakuna matata'. I turned off the lights, sat in my swiveling chair and gazed out at the night sky. With my ipod quietly playing one of Mozart's symphonies, I was able to drag my mind away from the quagsmire of the past and future and focus on the present.
navalava   
Aug 29, 2010
Undergraduate / My parents + stem cell engineer [3]

"Sudden swelling of my mother's arms brought us news that my mother has diabetes. Since then, she had to wait extra hours to wait for customers to come. "

Did you mean to say "suddenly"? Also, change the second sentence to "Since then, she had to wait extra hours for customers to come." It reduces wordiness.

"I then realized something: all my accomplishments and attending the best school in North Carolina were not important, but realizing love of my parents is what makes us complete."

I wouldn't say that all your accomplishments at NCSSM aren't important, because they are. I would say that although you have accomplished so much at NCSSM, it made you feel like something had not yet been fulfilled, like some task was still incomplete. "but realizing love of my parents is what makes us complete" change this to "but realizing the love of my parents made me complete" because you're talking about how that affected you.

Good luck with your essay!
navalava   
Aug 13, 2010
Undergraduate / High School Chess Championships: A winner [10]

Thank you so much for suggestions! As for playing chess online, Yahoo chess is alright, but it's really easy to get a high rating there, and some people quit in the middle of the game. But if you want to play with more serious people, caissa is a pretty good site (I recommend taking a free trial. You have it for 14 days, and then you can take another free trial :)).
navalava   
Aug 10, 2010
Undergraduate / High School Chess Championships: A winner [10]

Hello,

It's been a pretty long time, but now applications have come out and most of the word limits are around 500 words. I've had to cut out substantial portions of this essay, and am wondering if that has weakened it. Please let me know if there are any parts I should have kept/deleted. Also, my edited essay has 630 words, a little over the word limit. Is that acceptable, or do colleges want essays even closer to the specified limit? Below is the edited version of my essay:

READ ABOVE
navalava   
Aug 10, 2010
Undergraduate / Xcel Tiny Tots Day Care. Admission into Penn State University. [4]

"While most of my friends were having fun in the activities that we all loved, I however was devoted to Tiny Tots."

I would try to give an example or two or the "activities that we all loved". Like so:
"While most of my friends spent their time watching tv, I devoted my time to Tiny Tots."

"At first it took a while to become adapted to the environment of fifty children, some of which who were shy and sweet, and of course the others who were misbehaved and rampant."

I don't think 'which' would be the right word to refer to people. 'Whom' would probably be better.
I would rephrase that like so:
"It took a while to adapt to the new environment. There were about fifty children, some of whom were shy and sweet, and others who were misbehaved and rampant."

"I would be forced to take a great deal of time to learn the personalities of the children and slowly try to build a friendship upon it."

Here, 'forced' may imply that you are not very keen on this activity. I would recommend a different word.

"Though I was only a volunteer..."

I would change that to "Although I was a volunteer..." It reduces unnecessary words.

I hope this helped!
navalava   
Jul 20, 2010
Essays / A balance between being successful financially vs giving back - where to start? [3]

Well, I guess it would depend on how you feel about it. Suppose you owned a business, and you were getting a profit out of it. At what point, if at all, do you think it would be proper to give to charity? Or do you think that giving to charity is not necessary? That by reinvesting in the business, you are allowing it to flourish and expand, which indirectly helps the poor.

Essentially, I think the question is asking to what lengths do you go to help people. It's not necessarily bad if you think your money would be better utilized if you reinvested in your business and not donated. You just need to express that in as appealing a manner as possible.

There are both types of people in this world. Take Gandhi, for example, who was once a lawyer, traveling first-class, helping companies, etc. But then he gave up all of that to "give back" to the people. Perhaps he could have given back better if he had become a well-known and influential lawyer (since he would have a lot more money to alleviate people's needs), but then that's your opinion. It just shows how you think, that's all.

And if I were you, I wouldn't lie about this kind of thing. I find that when writing such essays, being truthful to yourself improves your writing a lot. If you try to sound like a really devoted charity-kind-of-person when you're not, the paper is not going to sound sincere. If you are the kind of the person who believes that your comfort and financial status is the most important thing, then say it. Of course, the way I said it makes it sound selfish, but I believe you can word that in a way to avoid that effect. Hope this helps!
navalava   
Jul 18, 2010
Undergraduate / High School Chess Championships: A winner [10]

Thanks to both of you for your suggestions! I will try to incorporate them into the essay.

Also, I feel like the 5th and 6th paragraphs go into too much detail into the game itself. If the admissions reader doesn't know chess, then they may be boring, and he/she may feel that they are unnecessary and do not contribute to the moral of the essay. I'm considering fast-forwarding the game and going straight to the Cold War analogy. But then, I'm afraid that might weaken the essay. Any thoughts on this are appreciated.

Also, I was wondering if a line like this might be out of place after I said "I had to win. I had to succeed" in the 2nd paragraph: "Little did I know that winning would take on a whole new meaning for me that day." Would that be appropriate, or is it unnecessary?
navalava   
Jul 18, 2010
Undergraduate / High School Chess Championships: A winner [10]

College applications haven't opened yet, so I'm just writing about a topic that interested me and am hoping that I will be able to fit to the topic given in the application.

Please give me any suggestions/advice on how to improve it. In particular, I feel that my attitude change towards the end seems drastic. Do you have any ideas on how to make it seem more realistic? Here is my essay:

A winner

It was the morning of April 18th, 2010. The sun had just begun breaking the clouds and bestowing its gentle light upon the inhabitants of Earth. There was a light breeze making its way through downtown Ohio and the cacophony of early morning traffic surrounded me as I walked into the Hyatt Regency. These minute details barely registered in my mind as I rushed through the sliding doors of the hotel. All my thoughts were focused on one thing: my game.

It was the last round of the three-day National High School Chess Championships. I had won five out of six rounds. Everything depended on this round. The difference between victory and defeat meant the difference between an impressive trophy and a "consolation prize." I considered this as I walked into the grand hall and looked across the hundreds of chess sets that had been placed for the final round. I was not content to settle for such a low rank. I had to win. I had to succeed.

Chess is not simply a game; it is a war. Each opponent tries to predict the other, set traps, and corner the king. As in any war, there are unprecedented twists and turns. Just as a battlefield never remains static, the board never stays the same. Opportunities arise at unexpected times, and opponents must decide how to use them to their advantage.

For some time, our battle resembled the Cold War. We would come close to all-out war over a single pawn, and then one of us would back off. This nerve-wracking lull in the battle lasted for over an hour as each of us waited for the other to tip the war towards complete mayhem. At last, the scale overbalanced and both of us lost pieces in quick succession. When I lost my Queen, I knew that the battle was lost. My Queen was the tip of the spear that was my attack. Now that the tip was broken, the spear would simply bounce off the armor of my foe.

My four hour game had ended in defeat. I would not be going up on stage. I was simply one of the crowd, forgotten and obscure. Although I was depressed, I put on a brave smile in front of my parents, and went to the bathroom to gather myself. I looked at myself in the mirror: two bloodshot eyes, a depressed expression, and a defeated posture. I shook my head at the mirror, as if I disapproved of the way it depicted me. In truth, I was frustrated by my own incompetence.

I doused my face in the frigid tap water that I cupped in my hands. It was the jolt of cold water that brought me to my senses. It felt so good, so fresh, and so full of life. Suddenly my attitude seemed childish. Had I become so occupied with the concept of winning that I had mistaken it for success? Winning or losing is the perception of people around me. Whether I win or lose depends on how I perceive myself, and I refuse to define myself based on what other people think about me.

Chess is not about winning or losing; it's about learning. I should be proud of what I had accomplished. I had tried my best, and I had held my own against someone who was more experienced. In the process, I achieved a new level of concentration. Four hours was the longest I had ever spent on a single game. While competition is certainly important, it is simply another means towards self-improvement, nothing more.

I came out of the bathroom with a genuine smile on my face. I went backstage, and proudly received my consolation prize. I felt like a winner.
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