EF_Team2
Dec 4, 2006
Writing Feedback / Euthanasia Essay Feedback (Ethics class) [2]
Greetings!
Sounds like this is due soon, right? I'll be happy to give you a few pointers. Time doesn't permit me to edit the whole thing, but I'll try to get you started.
"Euthanasia is one of the most complicated issues in the Medical field due to the clash of ethically point of views."
You don't really need to capitalize "medical" since it is a general noun. The correct way to say the last part of the sentence would be "ethical points of view."
"But we still are unable to find cure to all illnesses, and patients hae to go through extremely painful treatments only to have time."
I think if you look closely at this sentence you'll find a few things you didn't mean to do (i.e. you forgot the "a" in front of "cure," the "v" in "have" and "more" in front of "time").
"Due to highly costs treatments, few capability to have total control of their lives and the only option to live a short amount of time with painful treatments: People should have the right, with certain restrictions, to end their lives in the best way possible to stop suffering of an endless pain."
This sentence sounds like you may have had a cut-and-paste accident, or you were revising and got a little lost. :-) It happens! How about: "Due to the high cost of treatment, few have total control of their lives, and the only option is to live a short amount of time with painful treatments." The next phrase is OK, but it should be a new sentence.
"Society should have compassion and respect to the patient's decision whose life becomes unbearable."
You need to change "to" to "for" and "whose" to "when."
"When a person has a terminal disease, all the types of treatments have been practiced, nothing works and the endless pain of the patient still exists:Euthanasia could be an option, depending on the case."
I would make these two sentences.
"For example, a person is in coma due to brain stoppage, so his life is meaningless for that person. This human being will not be able to feel or rationalize what is going on."
Oops! You forgot the "a" in front of "coma," and you don't need "for that person" on the end of the sentence.
"In such cases, Euthanasia could be an option for the patient and family members to relieve from agonizing processes."
You don't need to capitalize "euthanasia," but you do need to insert "them" before "from agonizing processes."
I hope that helps you figure out what to look for when you're proof-reading and editing. The very best advice I can give you is to read your paper out loud. You'll be amazed at how much easier it is to catch mistakes when you can hear as well as see your words. Just read carefully and really listen to what you are saying, and the mistakes will jump out at you.
I think you did a very good job of presenting your ideas clearly and in a logical sequence. Your argument is well-presented, and it will be well-stated, too, with a little careful proofreading.
Best of luck!
Sarah, EssayForum.com
Greetings!
Sounds like this is due soon, right? I'll be happy to give you a few pointers. Time doesn't permit me to edit the whole thing, but I'll try to get you started.
"Euthanasia is one of the most complicated issues in the Medical field due to the clash of ethically point of views."
You don't really need to capitalize "medical" since it is a general noun. The correct way to say the last part of the sentence would be "ethical points of view."
"But we still are unable to find cure to all illnesses, and patients hae to go through extremely painful treatments only to have time."
I think if you look closely at this sentence you'll find a few things you didn't mean to do (i.e. you forgot the "a" in front of "cure," the "v" in "have" and "more" in front of "time").
"Due to highly costs treatments, few capability to have total control of their lives and the only option to live a short amount of time with painful treatments: People should have the right, with certain restrictions, to end their lives in the best way possible to stop suffering of an endless pain."
This sentence sounds like you may have had a cut-and-paste accident, or you were revising and got a little lost. :-) It happens! How about: "Due to the high cost of treatment, few have total control of their lives, and the only option is to live a short amount of time with painful treatments." The next phrase is OK, but it should be a new sentence.
"Society should have compassion and respect to the patient's decision whose life becomes unbearable."
You need to change "to" to "for" and "whose" to "when."
"When a person has a terminal disease, all the types of treatments have been practiced, nothing works and the endless pain of the patient still exists:Euthanasia could be an option, depending on the case."
I would make these two sentences.
"For example, a person is in coma due to brain stoppage, so his life is meaningless for that person. This human being will not be able to feel or rationalize what is going on."
Oops! You forgot the "a" in front of "coma," and you don't need "for that person" on the end of the sentence.
"In such cases, Euthanasia could be an option for the patient and family members to relieve from agonizing processes."
You don't need to capitalize "euthanasia," but you do need to insert "them" before "from agonizing processes."
I hope that helps you figure out what to look for when you're proof-reading and editing. The very best advice I can give you is to read your paper out loud. You'll be amazed at how much easier it is to catch mistakes when you can hear as well as see your words. Just read carefully and really listen to what you are saying, and the mistakes will jump out at you.
I think you did a very good job of presenting your ideas clearly and in a logical sequence. Your argument is well-presented, and it will be well-stated, too, with a little careful proofreading.
Best of luck!
Sarah, EssayForum.com