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Posts by roshan4
Joined: Dec 1, 2011
Last Post: Jan 23, 2012
Threads: 6
Posts: 12  

From: Australia

Displayed posts: 18
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roshan4   
Jan 23, 2012
Essays / Ethical dilemma experienced, essay ideas needed [10]

can you give me example of Unethical situation?

You are faced with a situation you feel may be unethical. How would you set about analysing the situation? Think about the ethical analysis process, not the potential ethical dilemma. What questions do you need to ask? What facts do you need to consider? What, or who - might help you in your analysis?

Another question is that what cultural issues may impact on you as an ICT professional if your organisation merges with another.?

I would really appreciate if you could give me some idea on above questions?
Thanks in advance.
roshan4   
Jan 23, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'computers have found the diverse use in many fields' - IELTS essay [4]

Hi Mohit,

I really appreciate your work. I recommend you to use other word instead of thing. Secondly, I believe you need to connect your ideas and paragraph more carefully.

Remember to cover these areas

Task achievement
Grammar
Co-cohesion and co-herence
Lexical resources

band scores will be given on above four areas. Please understand above definitions and answers all parts.

Great work. Good luck.
roshan4   
Jan 1, 2012
Writing Feedback / Increase the cost of fuel to solve the world's environmental problems? [NEW]

I would appreciate if you give your important comments. I sincerely thank you for your assistant.

The best way to solve the world's environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the contemporary society, most people would accept that one of the highest priorites to reduce the environmental problems in the world. Some people have agrued that if law maker increases the price of fuel, we may decrease the environmental issue. However, I am declined to this idea it would not be sensible way to tackle this issue. This essay will discuss two reasons of my opinion.

My first reason why it may not appropriate answer to raise fuel price because it is certainly govement's policy not individual's responsibility in our society. Many car and vehicle users are not aware about the consequences of environement problems which create by their actions. One ideal solution would be goverments should provide free education programmes to the community which can broden their understanding about global problems.

My second reason is that if higher authorities raise the fuel taxation it would definitely reduce the air pollution and global warming. However, it can see that world has been suffering from many other problems such as water pollution, poverty, literacy, overpopulation. So, it would not be good approach to increase the fuel rate in the world. I would say that other problems also deserve solution on our planet.

However, I acknowledge that opponents may disagree with my opinion. They could believe that it may be short term idea to reduce the environmental issues.

In conclusion, I consider that it increasing the petrol price in our society is one short term solution to tackle environmental problems. If law maker provides education to all ages, it would be likely to making this happens.
roshan4   
Jan 1, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS - column chart about mobile phone ownerships in 6 countries. [2]

A glance at the column chart provides the number of mobile phone owners in six European countries in two separate years 2000 and 2005.As It can be seen from the graph, the mobile phone numbers increased dramatically in all 6 countries in the 5-year period.

Out of six nations, Germany experienced the greatest rise in the mobile phone ownerships from approximately 4 million to nearly 14 million in 5 years whereas Spain had the lowest growth of about 4 million. It is interesting to note that this country had the lowest number of mobile phone in 2 years 2000 and 2005.

It can be found that ... (missing country name )slightly more mobile phone numbers than German had in 2000, the UK witnessed a lower increase, reaching 12 million 5 years later. Meanwhile, Italy, Sweden, and France saw the relative similar growths of around 6 million throughout five years.

In conclusion, I would recommend that German community has increased the use of latest devices than any other countries.

I advice you to work on Good introduction, body and last but not least conclusion. I think it is good work if you have done first time. I would recommend you to use more connectors like moreover, however, in addition,...

Keep in mind that Examiner will give you band score on four areas
1. Task achievements
2. Coherence and cohesion
3. Lexical resources
4. Grammar.

You think how many bands you give your self for above work.

I would appreciate if you check my work and give your valuable opinion. I thank you in advance.
roshan4   
Dec 24, 2011
Writing Feedback / Cooking essay (advantages of eating healthy and nutrition food) [NEW]

I would appreciate it if you could give your comments on this essay. I thank you in advance.

Nowadays, ready to eat food is popular in society. Some people think that it is good idea to eat other said it is harmful for our health.

Do you agree or disagree and give your opinion?


In contemporary society, fast foods are easily available in supermarket which saves much time of cooking and convenient alternative in our lives. Some have argued that ready to eat foods have given ease in hectic lives. However, opponents have claimed that preservative junk foods have also reversed effect on health. In my opinion, I would agree these flavoured fast diet can be harmful for mankind. This essay will explain two reasons of my opinion.

My first reason is that, advance preservative items are cheap and convenient but people need nutrition food to keep healthy. For example, according to American researcher said that canned and ready to eat foods have brought heart disease, skin cancer in many people in California. Thus, these artificial food can be dangerous if we eat regularly because artificial colour but also flavour.

My second reason is that nowadays, art of cooking is vanished from our society. In past, family member cooked food together as well as share recipes especially in weekends. It can be believed that home cooking and eating together could reduce work load which build up in the professional lives. Hence, it is an excellent idea to eat fresh vegetable, nutritious food in diet, because they could develop the concentration at work places.

However, I acknowledge that some may disagree with my opinion. They could believe that advance preservative technology may benefits at work. Moreover, they think that home cooking is time-consuming as well as include buying many goods to prepare one meal. But, I would certainly inconvenience with their idea.

In conclusion, I would say that there many advantages of eating healthy and nutrition food. I would recommend that less the fast foods in our diet can result in longer and healthy lives.
roshan4   
Dec 13, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS - we should not let technology and make our lives simple? [5]

You are off topic you gave so much information about tradition time methods. In fact topic is on Technology is boom or cruse.

Last, but not least,

In conclusion (not concluding it it informal and not academic )

I would recommend you to search structure of the IELTS essay. As I see, you are lost with structure.

Argument essay structure/ Advantage-disadvantage/ Agree- disagree

Introduction: 1.General statement, 2. Topic statement, 3.Thesis statement 4. My opinion

Body 1: My first reason is that

Body 2: My second reason is that

Body 3 Last, but not least,

Conclusion: Is more than summary of essay.
roshan4   
Dec 13, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'a request to produce new electronic device' - IELTS letter [3]

I am writing to request you to produce new electronic device for the Dick Smith electronic compay.
I would like to say that we need multi-functional latest computer for our company. I would appreciate it if you can design Dell computers and become long term supplier for us. We would be grateful for you if you could design them with fast operating system, high storage and compact size. Moreover, I would to like say if you could print our logo and company name, it would be a great advantage for us. In addition, I was wondering if you could manufacture 100 computers for next month as you know Christmas will be busy time of the year.

Admittedly, our last supplier supplied HP computers and we had many complaints from the customers. They said that gadgets were very slow and the power of battery was major problem even though new computers' battery ran out under two hours. Therefore, we stopped dealing with them. We have heard a lot about your company image we would be pleased if you can help us in huge order. We want to reduce customer complaints and increase our sales, I would appreciate if you can produce them without these problems which we had in HP.

I look forward to hearing from you about production of Dell computers. If you need any further information please contact me on +1111111. Thank you very much for your assistance.

Yours faithfully,
Roshan Panjabi

Thanks very much Farina. I re-correct my mistakes. I would appreciate it if you add more comments on my letter.
roshan4   
Dec 11, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'a request to produce new electronic device' - IELTS letter [3]

I would appreciate if someone could do me huge favor and give some important comments. I thank you in advance.

Write a letter to a manufacturer to ask them to arrange production of a new item for you. Please say
- What item do you need?
- Why do you need it?


Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to request you to produce new electronic device for the Dick Smith electronic compay.
I would like to say that we need multi-functional latest computer for our company. I would appreciate it if you can design Dell computers and become long term supplier for us. We would be grateful for you if you could design them with fast operating system, high storage and compact size. Moreover, I would like say if you could print our logo and company name, it would be great advantage for us. In addition, I was wondering if you could manufacture 100 computers for next month as you know Christmas will be busy time of the year.

Admittedly, our last supplier supplied HP computers and we had many complaints from customers. They said gadgets were very slow and battery was major problem even though new computers' battery ran out under two hours. Therefore, we stopped dealing with them. We have heard a lot about your company image we would be pleased if you can help us in huge order. We want to reduce customer complaints and increase our sales, I would appreciate if you can produce them without these problems we had in HP.

I look forward to hearing from you about production of Dell computers. If you need any further information please contact me on +1111111. Thank you very much for your assistance.

Yours faithfully,
Roshan Panjabi
roshan4   
Dec 5, 2011
Student Talk / How to improve English writing? Learning through reading. [127]

Read a lot. I would recommend read what you like, interested. If you love playing cricket then read about it or listen commentary. The more you listen the more you gain.

Don't just think but start writing and post here or ask your teacher, parents, friends to help you in writing.

Initially, write simple sentence and they try to write compound and complex sentences with new word power.

Secondly, Read and listen news. The best way to improve speak a lot even though it is wrong and ask someone to correct your mistakes.

There are many book available in market buy it and read it regularly will gradually improve your English.

Good luck.
roshan4   
Dec 5, 2011
Graduate / Future plans of a doctor, medical profession - suggestion? [4]

Hi
I believe that choose medical profession is great idea. It has bright future, however, it depends where you study your degree is playing vital role in your career. I recommend while you study take internship/ volunteer work in hospital will give many benefits. When you complete your degree you will be gained immense knowledge, experience, social network.

The answer where to work it totally on individual. In my opinion, you can start your work in small company as you are seeking entry level position. After some years, you can apply in big Hospital where you can earn a large money and help the community too.
roshan4   
Dec 5, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS writing - Describing a process [2]

The flow chart given shows the procedures followed after the IELTS exam has been completed.

This article will discuss how the IELTS exam conducts.

I would like to add how writing task mark in exam. Many students don't have knowledge how examiner check essay. Writing task in based on four criteria Task Achievement, Grammar, Lexical resources, Coherence and cohesion.

Task Achievement: Fully answered the question/ questions
Grammar: tenses are used, comma, article and other areas
Lexical resources: word power of students
Coherence and cohesion: Linking ideas, linking words, logical presentation of ideas. (Using words such as therefore, moreover, so, in addition, as a result of and many more)
roshan4   
Dec 4, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'recently moved to new house' - IELTS Letter [NEW]

You are recently moved to new house. There has been damage after you move into the house. Write a letter to your landlord explaining what has happen and ask him what you can do? I am wondering I was not sure on topic what to write but I wrote some ideas, I would appreciate your comments and feedback on this letter. I thank you in advance.

Dear Mr Smith,

I am Roshan Panjabi, new tenant at 15C, Strathfield. The reason I am writing because some problems in unit.

I would like to inform you that recently the main door lock is not working and it unable to close properly. Therefore, it is unsafe, dangerous with secure this unit. Another problem, the bathroom hot tap is leaking continuously which need to fix immediately because it is waste of water. Unfortunately, the one of the kitchen electric connection is out of order which require immediate repair. AS you know, I am new in this unit, these problems are creating huge stress in my life.

I would organise electrician, plumber to resolve these problems, however I have just been rented this unit you should repay total expenses. If you are disagree with this idea then I would be happy to move some other unit.

I am looking forward to hearing from you about unit solution. Thank you very much for your understanding.

Yours sincerely,
Roshan Panjabi
roshan4   
Dec 4, 2011
Writing Feedback / Easier-prepared food cannot make a promotion to our own life and even could cause some consequences. [5]

First of do not copy question, paraphrase is the best option.
Easier-prepared food= ready to eat food products
Very bad introduction. You must divide your paragraphs in logical way.
Introduction: General statement about topic, topic statement, thesis sentence

Body 1: good introduction idea 1 , example (use linking words)

Body 2: Introduction idea 2

Conclusion: I recommend use one method
In conclusion, ....
If.../ some future prediction/ your recommendation
Overall, I am convinced

Don't repeat your language always try to use different words.
roshan4   
Dec 4, 2011
Writing Feedback / Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. [2]

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish.

Why do you think this is happening?

What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

In our highly commercialized era, some people are generating so much rubbish in our society which has been causing damage to our planet. Throwing rubbish in our beautiful environment has created many problems in our lives. This essay will be discussed some reasons of this and some solutions.

To begin with, advance technology has brought many benefits in our lives, however some adverse effect too. For example, in recent time, many people have latest notebook, PDA, I-pad and people keep buying new gadgets. Therefore, the old devices throw in environment such as desktop, printers because they are out of date. These electronics devises and other dangerous dump certainly harmful for our lives and our planet. Secondly, it can be said that lack understanding about environmental issues may pollute our climate. Specifically, in supermarket many customers use plastic bags for their shopping. The amount of plastic and papers in supermarket will produce so much garbage which has several negative effects on our nature.

I believe governments can certainly play a vital role to decrease rubbish. The following ways they can help environment: the first way, strict laws in society will reduce garbage. For instance, if chemical factories produce more than certain amount of carbon, then they must be penalized by large amount of tax, high fines to company. Another way, government and retail shops may start giving rewards to people when they use recycle bags. As an example, when customers use green bag shopping super market give them gift voucher which will sure decrease use of plastic bags.

In conclusion, I would recommend individuals and governments both combine efforts will definite tackle rubbish issue in our society. One should think the negative consequences risky and unsafe garbage on our planet.
roshan4   
Dec 1, 2011
Writing Feedback / The costs of international travel are decreasing and tourism is growing. [3]

Hi! I would appreciate if someone do me big favor and mark my essay. I thank you in advance.

The costs of international travel are decreasing and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity in different countries?

In the present time, many people are decreasing their expenses and therefore tourism is booming in many developing countries. Traveling is noticed as one of the popular trend in all generation. There are many benefits and drawbacks of it and this will discuss in this essay.

There are various advantages of tourism for our nations. To begin with, it brings diferent cultures and nations together therefore many people can learn more about other nations rituals and customs. Moreover, one can gain how the perticular country food, life style, principals, colths trend and many more. Secondly, it certainly increase economy of countries. For example, western people visit China, the large amount of funds come to local businesses. So, it will be great source of income for small and international companies. Finally, the government can get huge amount of tax revenue from tourists which they can utilise those funds for improving education system, public transportation, solving pollution and others.

As we know , coin has two sides, tourism may bring some drawbacks in nations. Some visitors may throw rubbish like plastic bottels, bages,waste of food in water, this will casue damge to environment and marine animals. In my country, Goa is very poplular place to visit because of it is beautiful city, famous seafood in some sea food restaurants, however now tourist are rapidly decreased because some visitors thorw dangerous waste on costlines. Therefore, the beaches water is polluted and marine creatures are daying day by day. I believe government can make strict laws and people must obey then we can certainly find ideal solutions for these problems.

In conclusion, tourism is increasing play vital role in countries economy and development however, there some drawbacks which authorities and our understanding may resolve in our livies. Overall, I consider touriest can be big source of income for local poor people , I would certainly encourage tourism.