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Posts by land1111
Joined: Jun 3, 2012
Last Post: Jun 27, 2012
Threads: 5
Posts: 12  

From: China

Displayed posts: 17
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land1111   
Jun 27, 2012
Writing Feedback / Topic: whether convenience food will replace traditional food [4]

advise only

This is why some of us have turned to convenience food as an answer.
This is why some of us preferred convenience food.

Everything seems easier with the appearance of "ready to eat foods".
"Everything" look like too absolute

you can start a new paragraph when you use the word "However".

people will not afraid to spare some time to prepare the meals
people will not afraid to spare some time to prepare the meals for that

As our living standard is higher
As our living standard improves
land1111   
Jun 25, 2012
Writing Feedback / Student can be severely influenced from school by unsuitable schedules and stresses [5]

look at this question again, school maybe no the only reason for students' bad behavior. but your opinion does not off the topic.

advises
you could use scope of knowledge instead of knowledge of many aspects.
"students may not be taught properly by their schools" this sentence look like a litter informal as a reason.
can not ---->cannot
Schools have to teach children with precise knowledge and help them to classify bad and good things. "have to"???
do not use "may" repetitive.
land1111   
Jun 24, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'women are special weak group' - IELTS - EQUAL NUMBERS OF MALE AND FEMALE STUDENTS [NEW]

Thank you for you help!

UNIVERSITY SHOULD ACCEPT EQUAL NUMBERS OF MALE AND FEMALE STUDENTS IN EVERY SUBJECT. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU DISAGREE OR AGREE?

After the long period of unbalance gender rate in university, Scholars start to consider whether it is beneficial to student. Finally, in the name of better education, some point out that the numbers of male and female student in every subject should be equal. This kind of assertion is too absolute to convince me for the following reason.

For certain extent, what the percentage of the female university comprises is the signal of equal right to receive education. It is the first and key step to realize gender equality. After 4 years of schooling, there is an opportunity for female graduate students to live a different life instead of ending in full-time house wives. From the argument above, I suppose that the percentage of female in the university shall be guaranteed to protect women right, but it is remained to be seen whether it is reasonable for each subject in the university.

Man and women are equal, but not the same. Some certain subject, not sexist including, not cut out for the women. For example, most of military subject and sailing subject are stuffed with man, which feature long working hour and heave physic task. Also, there are plenty of majors is for female such as language, travel, accounting. Different genders have different natural duty. Exceed one's duties and meddle in others' affairs could be unwisely.

Furthermore, It would be disastrous if places of man and woman in every subject are equal. On the one hand, employer cannot find their employee for the reason that student's enrollment no longer regulate by market. On the other hand, Chinese university graduates can't find a proper work after graduates. Unemployment rate would increase considerably. We spare no effect but not gain any harvest. If the female student could not change their life after 4 years of hard work, they are wasting time here.

To sum up, women are special weak group. Strong measure must be taken to protect their legal right. Nonetheless, we have to think it through before you take any action. 50 to 50 gender rate in every subject is bad for the favorable position of women in future.
land1111   
Jun 24, 2012
Speeches / Room 101 Speech (Something I hate) - Help With Development? [5]

this essay beyond my comprehensions、、、
in my picture, get + indirect object + direct object
Ever seen Silent Hill? It's not the scariest of films but it fits my cause(do you mean situation) perfectly.
even if it means surrendering (surrender n&v) to evil
land1111   
Jun 11, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 Space travel and our routine life [2]

Space travel to Moon is often cited as one giant leap for mankind. Yet some people argue that this achievement made little different to our daily lives, what is your opinion?

The first step on surface of Moon is the milestone of human history. Space travel to Moon is the milestone of human history. As increasing number of country and program involved, the expense of those tasks have rocketing. The motivation behind the pricy tasks is no only to satisfy the curiosity of mankind, but also to find a potential available habitat.

Moon exploration is not the first meaningful explorative mission. Around 16th century, human across the sea and find the new land successful. Plenty of land and nature resource had discovered. The first few countries landing on the new land had dominated the rest of world for nearly 400 years. Today, the far-reaching impacts of the discovery still exist. Considering the lack of land and nature resource, it is extremely urgent to explore outside the Earth.

It is kind of nearsightedness that individual focus only on routine life. A costly project such as lunar exploration program cannot directly improve human live level as air conditional, but we have fund an evident from human history. Success landing indicate the huge change in the future of world pattern. There are plenty of planets outside the Earth which would be able to be another new continent. For long-term wellbeing of human, moon landing is exactly what is needed.

From what has been discussed above, we can safely to draw the conclusion that lunar program is a long-term project for human wellbeing and one giant leap of mankind. The doubt of space discovery should eliminate and space discovery worth more attentions.

another essay for IELTS. any advise can be accepted.
land1111   
Jun 10, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS Taks 2 - People resist to changes in their lives/ Problems & Solutions [4]

I am sure that little changes in a person's life can keep away from fears and awaken the joy of new experiences
less or little ????

I think people should start to have changes step by step
start to have changes or start to changes ???

visual change or changing their home decoration.
visual change seems to include changing their home decoration. keep balance between 'or' and 'and' .

advise only
land1111   
Jun 8, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Scientists renew people daily life' - IELTS [5]

I don't know how to write a better essay. I need advice please!

IELTS
The advance of science and technology has a significant impact on people. But the role of artists is also important, such as musicians, painters and writers. What can the arts bring us that science cannot?

Scientists renew people daily life and artists endeavor in a better tomorrow too. Both of technology and art are important to people. But the difference between them is that art offer exclusive nutrient.

Art nurtures the soul, cultivates the mind, exercise the imagination, and promote the communication between person to person.

Art nurtures the soul, cultivates the mind. Before a long long time, art was induced to primarily and secondary education. Some patriarchs cost loads of money to send their offsprings to art class before compulsory education or on the weekend, because is generally believe that art can cultivates a more relax and positive approach to life. After the nourishing of art, one would keep calm under stress and rebound after setbacks.

Art exercise the imagination Imagination. It is global believe that the knowledge is power. So we treat study as a life-long journey. On the contrary, as the individuals' knowledge gain, imagination fades quickly. Usually imagination individuals have not better than the imagination when individuals were young. It is the consequence of overlooking art study when we are growing up.

Art can promote interchange among individuals. No matter what colour of one's skin, what religion one belong to, what language. Every people share one thing in common-taste of beauty. For example, melody in the singer's music, expression on actor's play, landscape on painter's painting. Art is the one of best topic and self-introduce for people from different part of world.

Art, as important as technology, provide unique and indispensable experience in our life and benefic one's mind, imagination and communication.
land1111   
Jun 7, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Boys naturally more agressive than girls? [5]

The expression of physical strength is common and may be related to the genetic coding that is prevalent in males than females.
i am Chinese, this sentence make me confused. can you explain it for me?
land1111   
Jun 7, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS 2-- old buildings should be knocked down? [6]

People think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to the new buildings. Do you agree or disagree? How important are old buildings to us?

Some people assert that old buildings should not be in the way of new building. I could not agree, especially for the old but stable buildings. And some historical buildings deserve to be protected and preserved.

Admittedly, old building would be danger if they stand too long, however, this kind of buildings no cover in the essay. I try to describe something to prove the idea of knocking down all the old building is one-sided think.

Save is our time-honored tradition. We set up a building which plan to use 20 years, but in fact we tear down only 10 years after usually. And ironically, there is plenty of land beyond the central of city available. Heavy traffic and precious land in downtown indicate that we should set up a satellite town rather than knocked down the high building and give way to the higher buildings again and again.

Some historical buildings are legacy of human civilization. We keep them to remember the virtue that somebody or something shows us. Maybe the huge mistaken we ever did, the one of bravest men ought to be honored or a great victory. We do not have to risk the potential of losing that spiritual wealth. Our ancestors preserve the buildings, so can we.

Old buildings have a good reason to survive usually. The buildings with a long history carry loads of value; even we cannot find it yet. We need to think twice before we tear it up and try our best to protect our time-honored tradition and spiritual wealth.
land1111   
Jun 7, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS writing: moving big companies out of cities [5]

there appears a bunch of problems which have already been heated social issues.
1 stimulate maybe better than appear.
could be a good way to solve many of the city-problems
2 city-problems ???
3 i would rather you choose agree. and you will be easier to find some evidences.
land1111   
Jun 7, 2012
Writing Feedback / essay on manufactured landscapes video [3]

essay abouton manufactured landscapes video
In the film 'manufactured landscape' is about how the industrial world is taking over the natural world. In china they e-waste(this is a n.) all electronics and have ruined huge amounts of land and underground reservoirs. Some places have to have water shipped in, due to no clean water. They just let the e-waste sit out to soak into the area

There are tones of(it supposes to refer e-waste) other areas that are affected by humans not disposing things well. The pacific ocean for example., Iin the There is a swirl of plastic; this swirl is twice the size of Texas. We have recently found out that there are 4 other garbage swirls in the world's oceans all over the world. They are all located in the north Pacific, south Pacific, north Atlantic, south Atlantic, and the Indian Ocean respectively.

These(this is another paragraph. Do you mean 'garbage swirls'?) are doing lots of damage on our food source. the fish die and then animals that eat fish die before long and the people that eat the animals die at last. Animals all over the world are being found with plastic in their systems or around their necks.

All these problems are caused by humenmans longing for power and fortuneknowledge. But because we "need" to keep creating new and better things we are giving others a reason to just throw out what they have and we don't have a proper way of deposing it. (don't have and depose ?) Before we keep creating things we need to master a proper way to dispose of what we already have exist . That's what I grasped from the video we watched on Tuesday May 22/2012 in photography class

advise only




land1111   
Jun 6, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 MODERN TECHNOLOGY HAS GIVEN US MORE LEISURE TIME THAN BEFORE [4]

This paper cost me a lot of time, far more 40mins. I need to be faster...
Any suggestion is fine for me. Thank you.

IELTS TOPIC
DO YOU AGREE THAT MODERN TECHNOLOGY HAS GIVEN US MORE LEISURE TIME THAN BEFORE

As the promoting of technological innovation, individuals free from heavy physical work, devote to worthier tasks. Whereas some of them asserted that technological overemphasis is the underlying reason of the severe stress in modern societies. I believe the reserve. The reason that individuals feel depress is that the advancing of technological no faster enough to enable to coordinate inevitable competitions cause by population issue and exhaustion of resources.

It is working that occupying the most of our leisure time. If the cooperate between sociologists and governments built up 100 years ago, birth control would come true and the world population would remain in the reasonable and controllable range, demand and supply of labour market would change completely, as a result, overwork time would decline with the less intensive competition. Individual would enjoy their leisure and no longer worry about losing their job.

In not-long-distance future the exhaustion of resources will coming. Realizing the huge profit earned from mining and oil industry, nature resources still badly need today. However it is running out quickly. We have seen the price of non-renewable resources towering. Most of us have to bear higher cost of living. I consider it as another source of stress today.

The advancing of technology allows us to address problem by an efficient such as computer and internet. Technology is easy to acquire and efficiency. It spares time to entertainment. The stress of modern life comes from the problem man and nature.

To sum up, the best way to relax, obtain more leisure time, is steering more student toward science flied. Technological as the strong opponent of stress is not the cause of stress.
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