April April
Jul 16, 2012
Writing Feedback / Essay Ielts: topic Should companies use young people? [8]
To commence with, two extensive advantages that young people received from companies are having job experience and less pressure on finding a jobs . Nowadays, seldom do young people get an appropriate work(it should be "get a job". "Get a work" doesn't sound right) which areispressumble to indentify long time with=> revise this sentence. I did get what you mean, but you didn't make yourself clear enough. Pay attention to the spelling Consequently, that demand of employers leadsto more working chances, make condition to confirm the scholastic knowledge=> what do you mean? . Beyond confirmation there were further that new workers also additionally(use either also or additionally) learn more work awareness during the process of practicing what they have ever been uneducated at school.That reality job understanding helps young people to relize(spelling)realise which job is flexible withsuitable for them and be able to makestheir adjustablethe right decision.
I suggest you work more on your grammar to express the ideas more clearly. Also, work on vocab, use the dictionary to make sure you use them with the right meanings. And don't make speliing mistakes. It confuses the readers when they have to guess what you mean by that word.
Best
To commence with, two extensive advantages that young people receive
I suggest you work more on your grammar to express the ideas more clearly. Also, work on vocab, use the dictionary to make sure you use them with the right meanings. And don't make speliing mistakes. It confuses the readers when they have to guess what you mean by that word.
Best