Undergraduate / 'journalism and media' - USC Supplement for Academic Interests in Journalism [6]

My love for journalism sprouted during my earliest days of grade school and developed as I entered high school. Post junior year, I attended the CCNMA multicultural journalism boot camp where I shadowed professional journalists and broadcasters from San Diego. While creating layouts with the front page editor of the Union Tribune and producing newscasts with NBC 7, I realized journalism is my form of expression and contribution to society.

At USC's Annenberg School of Communications and Journalism, I will pursue a career in international journalism and media. The core curriculum at Annenberg targets print and digital journalism, the foundation of my dream. If admitted, I hope to attend Annenberg's international journalism program in London, England during spring to further my education and experience. To enhance my global knowledge, I plan to double major in international studies. I hope to become part of the online staff for the Daily Trojan.

Any criticism/suggestions would be great!

Undergraduate / 'I used to live in the International Baccalaureate bubble' - UC Prompt #1 [18]

Does my essay thoroughly answer the prompt?

Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

I used to believe that everyone lived the same lifestyle as I do. Growing up, I had everything I wanted. Piled presents beneath the tree on Christmas morning, newly stacked clothes for a new school year, lunchables in a shiny pink lunch pail, and homework assistance within arm's reach.

One evening, my mother invited my playmate from next door to join us for dinner. She sat down and asked what we were eating. "Shrimp," I said darkly. "I hate shrimp." Her eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped in bewilderment. Perplexed, I couldn't comprehend why my words had provoked such a strong response.

I lived in the International Baccalaureate bubble during my first two years of high school. My understanding was that all individuals were capable of making informed decisions. The ones who didn't, seemed shortsighted. Looking back, I was completely oblivious to the diverse circumstances around me.

I recall a moment after school when I was tutoring algebra to a timid freshman girl. As I explained binomial factoring, she caught on exceptionally fast. Examining her progress reports, I noticed the missing homework assignments. It was evident that accessing help was a challenge. As it turns out, her parents worked night shifts, and her shyness prevented her from approaching teachers with questions.

She asked me about my academic situation. Informing her of my involvement in the International Baccalaureate program, her interest in academia grew immediately. In reality, she had no prior knowledge of this program. I was awakened by the reality that many do not receive the same opportunities as I do. Information is not always present for students due to underlying reasons. As a result, many are incapable of reaching their full potential.

Her circumstances allowed me to realize that there are many other individuals in society who are caught in the same situation. With very limited access to opportunities and information, it is difficult for them to move forward towards success. As a learned individual, it becomes my responsibility to commission my knowledge for those who are at a disadvantage.

I am no longer content with living a privileged lifestyle myself. Instead, I am seeking success beyond my personal world. The future of society depends on those who are capable of effectively projecting their ideas and utilizing their talents and skills. It is my dream to find a solution to maximize the potential of each individual which in return, will benefit and strengthen society as a whole.

I aspire to pursue coursework and experience in communications that will allow me to eliminate the barrier between the disadvantaged and their success. I hope to build personal relationships with individuals to understand their weaknesses, alleviate their suffering and change their role in society. I am eager to use my college education and experience to empower my community, one person at a time.

How is this essay? Any criticism/editing is appreciated. Thanks!

Undergraduate / 'daily newspapers' - academic interests USC Supplement [7]

Prompt: Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections. (1000 characters)

Growing up, I produced daily newspapers for my family. In high school, I devoted the majority of my time to school publications. As my passion for journalism grew, I attended the CCNMA multicultural journalism boot camp where I had the opportunity to shadow and work with professional journalists and broadcasters from publications throughout San Diego. While creating layouts with the front page editor of the Union Tribune and producing newscasts with NBC 7, I realized journalism is my ultimate form of personal expression and contribution to society.

I hope to attend USC's Annenberg School of Communication and Journalism to pursue a career in international journalism and media. Annenberg's core curriculum targets online journalism, the foundation of my dream. Located in a globally connected city, USC provides infinite opportunities for internships which will enhance my international skills. Along with furthering my education, I hope to become part of the online staff for the Daily Trojan.

Does my answer project what I want to say? How can I improve it? Any criticism/editing is appreciated! Thank you.

Undergraduate / (an aspiring communications major) Boston University Supplement [4]

In no more than 1250 characters, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission?

Any criticism is appreciated! Thank you.

Boston University has everything an aspiring communications major can ask for. I felt an unequivocal connection after researching the university's programs. Most colleges do not offer specialized fields in undergrad communications; however this university offers many with unique focuses. BU's Communication Studies provide an innovative approach to an examination of topics. Students are challenged through a multitude of perspectives by using comprehension, analysis, and experience in various internships.

As someone who wishes to expand their horizons in the field, BU's surroundings are impeccable. At the heart of a diverse and historic city, BU allows students to experience a culturally rich city life filled with opportunity. Boston is one of the ten largest media markets in the U.S, an ideal scene for pursuing a communications career.

I will receive an exceptional education at BU. Courses are taught by accomplished professors in a small student-teacher ratio. Upon graduation, the knowledge and practice I've accumulated will transcend into the workforce. Graduates are equipped with a notable education and copious life skills, the perfect foundation I need to succeed in the communications field. BU is truly where I want to be.

Undergraduate / 'My forbidden biological father' - Common App Essay - Topic of your choice. [12]

any editing would be appreciated!

Every morning, I stand in reminiscence of a broken reflection. I have my mother's eyebrows, dark brown pupils, and slightly flat nose. Everything else remains a mystery.

My biological father is a forbidden subject. Thirteen years ago, my mother tore me out of his arms. He stood against the winter wind, eyes blazed, tight jawed and fists clenched. I was thrust into a vehicle, my tears withheld. My face pressed against the frozen glass. His flare, soaked and torn as he stared after us. We vanished, much like the distant memories of him.

I wonder if someday I'll see him again. The same man with the vehement semblance that grew smaller and smaller as we drove away. So far, my reflection has become a constant reminder that I only knew half of my identity.

These thoughts never left as I matured. Obsession motivated me to secretly prowl through my mother's personal documents. Slowly, the pieces fell together, and finally, a ten digit number was in my possession. Just ten numbers. Ten numbers answering my every question. Ten numbers restoring the bleached memories of a man I never knew. Ten numbers completing the broken reflection I stared into every morning. Ten numbers that could fix me.

Yet as I picked up the phone and pushed on the first digit, I paused. My entire existence flashed before my eyes. For the first time in seventeen years, I saw myself as a whole. I was neither a broken piece nor a fragile reflection; it didn't matter that I'll probably never see the man who resembles my other half. Thomas Szasz once noted in The Second Sin, "The self is not something one finds; it's something one creates". My identity is constructed from my personal experiences. I do not live to seek myself in others, but instead I create my own image.

(awkward transition). People tell me I walk with purpose. Shoulders back. Chest leveled. Head high. Eyes looking straight ahead. In a sea of students racing for the cafeteria, lunch time is my greatest battle. I hoist my backpack as I maneuver through the crowd. Thirty minutes to drop off my papers for teachers, interview the campus aid, print out lab notes, stop by the counseling office and finally, grab lunch with friends. At times, there is no indication of a clear path, but my determination urges me to push on. I learn to bypass everyone in my way, keeping my eyes focused on my goal. As I cross off each item on my to-do list at the end of the day, I feel invincible. A sense of satisfaction engulfs me as I realize not only have I created an identity I can call my own, but I've also become my own motivation. When I didn't have a man who was there to cheer me on as I slid backwards down the slide for the first time, I simply learned to cheer on myself.