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Posts by congchop
Joined: Aug 8, 2013
Last Post: Sep 21, 2013
Threads: 7
Posts: 14  
Likes: 2
From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 21
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congchop   
Sep 20, 2013
Writing Feedback / Write about a product you have bought online. [4]

Free writing, please help me check mistakes. Thanks !

Yesterday morning, when I was chatting with some my close friends in the coffee shop next to my university, one of them told me that he often bought clothes online via website xvideo.com. After surfing around the website, I was attracted by a blue shirt with some specific information besides such as size L, made from 100% cotton, full sleeves and a collared neck. Its price is 350 000vnd. I thought that it was a reasonable price, so I decided to buy it. When I finished payment online, they informed me that the shirt would be delivered to my home within 2 hours. When I received the shirt, I was surprised because it was what I imagined about. Therefore, if I demand for some more, I will continue to buy them via this website.
congchop   
Sep 13, 2013
Writing Feedback / Ielts: Parents are sole responsible for their children's misbehavior. Do you agree? [2]

Help me to find mistakes and correct them. Thanks a lot.
Introduction:

Teaching for children how to behave well is an important task for parents who want their children to become good people. Children's behaviors are mainly affected by their parents, so the behaviors which are whether good or bad depend on their parents' actions. Although some people argue that children have to be responsible for their acts, in my opinion, I believe that parents are only persons who have responsibility for behaviors of their children because children always obey their parents and it is a rule of state law.

Obeying parents is especially important for children because parents show them what they should do. Before becoming adults and independent persons, children often observe actions of their parents and follow their parents' advices. Therefore, their behaviors are consequences of what they have observed and taught by their parents. For instance, my neighbors have a son always criticize and speak profanity words such as FUCK, What the hell, etc. The boy has such misbehaviors because his parents often speak these words and debate of whatever between them happens at any time. This is one of two reasons why I believe that parents should be responsible for their children's behaviors.

In most countries in the world, there are rules of state law that force parents take responsibilities for their children's misbehaviors. Some parents only know give the birth to their children and they do not care to teaching knowledge for their kids. Children will not know how to do right things and have misbehaviors. Thus, these rules are created to make parents more responsible for their kids. For example, in Vietnam, there are rules that force parents taking responsibilities for teaching as well as feeding until their children are 18 year old.

In conclusion, in order children becoming good people for society, parents have to be responsible for their children not because they affect their children mostly, but the law force them to take responsibilities.
congchop   
Aug 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / Ielts 2: How far do you agree with this latter statement? [5]

The debate about how to assess ability of students at university has been extreme since such institutions existed

Teachers do not enable to know whether the students do the exams himself. Ideas that students used to write in their exams may be collected from internet easily.
congchop   
Aug 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / Ielts 2: How far do you agree with this latter statement? [5]

Only formal examinations, written or practical, can give a clear picture of students' true knowledge and ability at university level. Continuous assessment like course work and projects are poor measures of student ability.

How far do you agree with this latter statement?

My essay:

The debate about how to assess ability of students at university is one of the most difficult problems needed to deal with. Some people argue only formal examinations is the best way that can be used to measure students' knowledge exactly. However, I believe that other types of examination like course work and projects are not less important than formal examinations because of following reasons.

First, using only formal examination is not enough to test knowledge of students. Teachers do not enable to know whether the students do the work himself. Ideas that students used to write in their exams may be collected from internet easily. Thus, the teachers can ignore the possibility that student stole the ideas from internet or somewhere else if they only use this type of examination. The problem then is that worker will be produced without enough quality.

Second, continuous assessment should be used throughout a course to know fully ability of students. There are students who know information that they are asked to write about very well, however they do not perform well. In other hand, if students are not accessed on all aspects, then they will not do well their work. And as a result, it affects heavily on the labor market.

To conclude, the best way to access ability of students is a combination of both forms of assessment. The grades given to each type of assessment depend on kind of the course. Using both types of examination to access students' knowledge, the teacher will know details about what student have written.
congchop   
Aug 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / Ielts2: should rich countries help poor countries? [2]

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas.

My essay:

Nowadays, the world includes developing countries and developed countries. The difference between them is amount of money that governments use in critical areas such as commerce, health, education. The poor countries are buried in debts which are caused by loans they borrowed from The World Bank and the rich countries. To ease this difference and help the less fortune countries, the richer countries should take efforts in improving important areas in the less fortune countries.

Most of the people in African and poor countries live in difficult conditions because of their countries locate in areas where lack of natural resources and have bad weather conditions for development as well. In these countries, citizens are in need for foods, corrupt and unemployment rate is at high level, the consequences of AIDS are devastating quickly. These problems will be dealt with if the richer countries agree to help by donating free drugs for the inflected population, sending doctors and nurses to treat and educate those in need, teaching the inflected citizens how to prevent this disease spread.

Furthermore, most economies of developing countries depends on exporting raw material and agricultural products as rice, corn. Then, they buy industrialized products from developed countries which result in financial deficit. This made poor countries have to borrow significant amount of money from World Bank which they can not repay even interest. Sometimes, the money disappears without any impact. Regarding to this issue, the G8 which include eight richest countries decided to forgive billions of dollars in debts owned by poor countries.

In conclusion, the rich countries play an important role in helping poor countries develop important areas such as trade, health and education. Besides rely on helps from rich countries, poor countries should take efforts by themselves.
congchop   
Aug 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Impact made by fast food on our lives [7]

One of those aspects is the decreasing the time given for preparing he food which made the people face toward he fast food rather than cooking their own healthy meals.

You should rewrite this sentence
congchop   
Aug 17, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: ZOOs are only to entertain people? [7]

TOPIC: Some people argue that the purpose of zoos is only to entertain people. What do you think? What other purposes of zoos?

Answer:

A zoo is a facility in which animals are confined within enclosures and displayed to the public and in which they may also be bred. Some critics dispute that the purpose of the zoos is only for the entertainment of visitors. However, beside entertaining people, there are varieties of purposes as for conservation, research, as well as for education purposes.

Primarily, the zoological parks are established for conservation, as well as research and education purposes. These zoos are places where rare species live. They are animal species that are going to disappear from the world, so zoos are established for scientists making the breeding of the endangered species. Environment also is created for animals to have good health, to live well as they live in natural environment. The zoos also are places for scientists to research animal behavior and anatomy. Diverse communities can visit the zoos for studying about animals, understanding and protect animals and their habitats. For example, The Zoological Society of London is one of the zoological parks like that. This zoo contains Research Institute, Center of Physiology and Institute of Medicine for helping animals.

Secondarily, purpose of the zoos is to entertain visitors as modern zoos. The zoos are place where animals live in captivity and display for people to view. There are so many kinds of animal as lion, tiger, giraffes, monkey... Visitors feel interesting when seeing animals in the zoos. Money from selling ticket for visitors helps improving the zoos. The Penrose Research Laboratory of the Philadelphia Zoo is good for visiting animals

In conclusion, purposes of zoological parks not only to entertain visitors, but also for other purposes. However, the zoos need more improvement to have environment like in nature for animals.
congchop   
Aug 17, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2:Some people argue that the purpose of zoos is only to entertain people. [7]

I will rewrite your introduction as below:

A zoo is a facility in which animals are confined within enclosures and displayed to the public and in which they may also be bred. Some critics dispute that the purpose of the zoos is only for the entertainment of visitors. However, beside entertaining people, there are varieties of purposes as for conservation, research, as well as for education purposes.
congchop   
Aug 15, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS- NECESSITY OF THIRD LEVEL EDUCATION FOR SUCCESS? AGREE OR DISAGREE? [6]

For different individual, success also is different

success comes from
..argue that there are so many people gain success without education.
In addition, there are people who have success base on fortune.
There are many millionares who started working as nespaperseller or ticketseller.

There are so many mistakes in your essay that i can't repair all because i am online by using mobiphone
congchop   
Aug 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / Popular events like the Football World Cup release patriotic emotions. [6]

Topic: Popular events like the Football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tension and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

Essay:

The biggest sport events like the Football World Cup and the Olympics take place every four years. Athletes from different countries come to the vents to show their pride of nation. Such events play an important role in bringing nations together.

When the event takes place, it attracts athletes from many countries to show their pride of nation. They forget problems between countries and play fair in the games. For example, from ancient history when Romans and Greeks were being battles, both nations interrupted the battles to play the games of Olympics. And in more recent time, Athletes from Palestine and Israel plays the game together while their governments were having disputes over the land. After the games, they even embraced each other. Thus, governments are trying to reach agreements via the events like the international sporting events.

Furthermore, people also release their patriotic emotions in safe way when they watch athletes from their country playing the games. Vietnam is a developing country, where has a high rate of corruption, poverty, crime, differences in culture. However when the Football World Cup starts, Vietnamese squad will try their best to play against other team. Most of Vietnamese citizens seem forget their problems to watch the team. They drink beer together in cozy restaurants and cheer for Vietnamese team when one player scores a goal. They even paint on the road with red and yellow color, wear Vietnamese shirts and drive motorcycles around some streets together. Moreover, the games bring families and neighbors together and even rival groups watch the games and celebrate peacefully.

To conclude, international sporting events not only bring people together, but also release patriotic emotions. The world would be worse if there are not events like that.
congchop   
Aug 8, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Will traditional skills and way of life die with technological advancement? No [4]

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There is no doubt that a nation's traditional skills and ways of life are being impacted by the development of technologies. Though some argue that the impacts are extraordinary and they will make the traditional skills and way of life will die out, I believe that they will continue to thrive in the future.

Nobody can argue that the development of technology brings people many advantages. The technologies make people's life more convenient, make more products in production. The development of technologies affected so much on the traditional skills and way of life of a nation.

But the traditional skills and way of life will not die out and they can become an alternative solution caused by the "mainstream" way of life which is generally influenced by the modern technologies. Example, a cozy restaurant where traditional beers are served, offers experience to people who are bored with branded beers which came out of mass production and have same flavor. It is venue where the traditional skills are preserved, people become relaxed and educated. Providing diversity and thus enriching modern way of life, such traditional skill will continue to have their place.

Furthermore, the traditional skills and way of life can provide innovative ideas for the development of technologies. For instance, some business managers from textile industry applied the technique that some minority women in some parts of Asia using to knit the word "Love" on sweater. They developed some production lines based on the technique and in the result, the products boosted company's sales steadily. In return, they invested more money in preserving the traditional skills for further developing other technologies in the future.

To conclude, in revolution process, there will be something of the traditional skills obsolete as well as something continue to thrive. But in my personal view, the traditional skills and way of life will always have their places in revolution process no matter how technology develops.
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