Graduate / CMU ebiz SoP and practicum project [3]

Hey guys. This is the first time I write a SoP. I am not sure if the length is good. The deadline is in a week so I need you guys help with either the content or the grammar! Thanks a lot!

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- What led you to select this program?
- What is your objective in pursuing a Master's Degree?
- What in your background is relevant to this objective? Describe how your academic, industrial, and/or commercial experiences prepare you to be successful in this program.

- The masters program culminates in a practicum project done in conjunction with a business or other organization. Please describe your initial ideas for the type of practicum project you would like to pursue.

- Any additional information you wish to give the Admissions Committee.
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I was attracted to your program the first time I saw your website. "Learning by doing" is a very effective way of study and I personally enjoy this way of study. For example, although I learned MATLAB for a full semester in class, my application skills of MATLAB not very well until I took on a class project of demonstrating Support Vector Machine on MATLAB. This is the same for me in my daily life. Rather than reading instructions, I prefer to actually learn something by participating. That why I soon became the member of my university's swimming, badminton and tennis teams. Rather than waiting for them to put up an advertisement for new recruits, I showed my skills when I saw them training and I was accepted in soon.

Although my academic backgrounds and experiences may be enough for me to find a job as a consultant in China, I want to pursue a Master's Degree in the US. I have always been interested in the development of Chinese financial system. With limited channels available to raise capital, the Chinese financial system has yet to hit maturity to balance out the labor-intensive small and medium-sized firms which have a great comparative advantage in the world. During my internship, I was struck again by the need to develop a more mature financial market. Even though I was in one of the biggest security companies in China, I learned that privately-raised company bond for small and medium enterprises, a product which would benefit the Chinese financial system, was in limited release. Also, when I tried to evaluate a firm using the Discounted Cash Flow model, my senior colleagues told me that in real circumstances, human factors have a strong influence on the estimation. Thus, I am eager to learn how a fully developed financial market works by studying and working in the US. In order to work for a consulting firm after graduation, I was seeking a Master's program that can equip me with a strong skillset and practical knowledge. So the MSIT program became my choice.

I have an all-rounded understanding of how a business works owing to my three different internships which cover the aspects of marketing, accounting and financial modeling. My first internship at a security company taught me to prepare for product promotion. My second internship gave me a chance to practice what I learned about accounting by generating accounting entries and filling financial documents. My third internship at a futures trading company taught me to help their customer make investment decisions by processing financial data and benchmarking. Thanks to these experiences, I gained an overall picture of the finance industry and I am more confident at myself when pursing my future career.

For my academic background, I gained a comprehensive mastery of fundamental principles of finance as an accounting major student. To enhance my mathematics background, I chose "level A" which was the most difficult level for all my mathematical classes. Therefore, I built a solid foundation in mathematics and statistics by studying Advanced Mathematics, Linear Algebra A, Applied Statistics and Probability & Mathematical Statistics and Operations Research. I also actively engaged in the learning of programming and statistical softwares. Like the example I said before, I improved my programming skills while doing my class assignment of demonstrating Support Vector Machines (SVM) with an application. Rather than sticking to the reference materials my professor provided, which only introduced the application of SVM on SPSS, I read a few books introducing machine learning with MATLAB and my final thesis about this application was published. I believe my solid academic background and my spirit of innovation will help me succeed in your program.

Since I am currently working in the biggest education company in China, my idea of the practicum project is developing an app for this company. Currently, this company is relying on a chatting platform for homework submission. But I do not think it is a good idea to mix up studying with chatting. Also, when registration for classes begins, its website always crashes down. Therefore, I think it is a good idea to develop an app that is exclusive for this company. It will have five parts, including notes sharing, contacting teachers, homework submission, test scores records and class registration. While the students can save their homework and contact their teachers if they have any questions, their parents can register classes using this app.

Graduate / Master in Business Analytics Essay-Why is the next logical step? A big data analysis question [5]

Hi guys. I know it is almost Christmas so I am posting my essay here before you guys go on holidays XD. This essay has two parts, first with a word limit of 250 and the 2nd with a limit of 400. I know my language is a bit informal because I am not a native speaker. Please tell us where can I improve! Thanks and happy holiday!

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1.Why is the MSBA the next logical step for you? How do you hope to develop, both personally and professionally, during this one-year program?

Studying business analytics is exactly what I have planned for my academic and professional life. Since I chose accounting as my undergraduate major, I have already equipped with a solid financial background and I am familiar with how financial data are acquired and calculated. But to make a wise business decision, I must further process these data. Therefore, I found your MSBA program which fits into my personal study pattern and matches my values.

Should I be accepted, I will cherish my chance to learn from many great professors. Professionally, I will first quickly learn the small differences between the accounting system of China and the one of the US and then improve my analytical skills by actively engage in both in class learning and after class projects. Aiming to access the fully understanding of how business operates, I deem internships as critical components for realizing my career goals. Therefore I will keep seeking internship opportunities and learn the popular methods of data analysis nowadays.

Personally, I will seize the opportunities of group working with other creative students. To improve my competitiveness in the job market and my ability of critical thinking, I will do a lot of practicum/action-oriented learning and sharpen my practical skills and executive presentation skills. I would also participate in different sport and art activities, like I did in my undergraduate period, to make friends of different backgrounds and win glory for your university.

2.Provide an example of a big data analysis question that motivates you to apply for the MS in Business Analytics at Marshall. Make sure that your answer is short, no more than 400 words, and that it includes the following FIVE components: 1) a clear and concise description of the problem, 2) why you are interested in this problem, 3) the importance of this problem from a business point of view, 4) the potential solutions for this problem, and 5) a detailed discussion of the benefits and drawbacks of the suggested solutions.

I am particularly interested in estimating the risk of investing small and medium-sized firms. However, these firms may not report their financial status as frequent as the other bigger companies. Since we always base our analysis on past financial data, we need some powerful business analytical tools to analyze the risk of investing these firms.

It is universally acknowledged that risk analysis is vital for making investment decisions. But you may wonder why I am particularly interested in analyzing small and medium-sized firms.

Actually, this has something to do with my interest in the Chinese financial system. In the lesson Demystifying the Chinese Economy, I learned that with limited channels available to raise capital, the Chinese financial system has yet to hit maturity to balance out the labor-intensive small and medium-sized firms which have a great comparative advantage in the world. As there is limited legal protection for private loans and numerous restrictions for commercial lending, bigger firms have greater ability to raise money from banks, enlarging the wage gap in China. This results in the limited flow of capital into the companies with the highest comparative advantage, decreasing the competitiveness of China in the world market. Therefore, it is important to promote privately-raised company bond for small and medium enterprises, a product which my professor said would benefit the Chinese financial system.

However, during my internship at one of the biggest security companies in China, I learned that this product was a limited-release in testing phases. The reason behind this phenomenon, in my opinion, could be that the risk analysis for this product is difficult.

My solution to this problem is to use the factorial analysis and Support Vector Machines (SVM) to estimate the return on investment (ROI) of these firms. I will first classify these firms according to their industries and then narrow down the financial ratios I will use for my analysis. To improve the accuracy, I would use SVM to predict the ROI in a small range instead of at an accurate number.

This method will help us analyze these firms because by focusing on a few financial ratios, the deficiency of financial reports will not matter that much. But it is not without its drawbacks, since we are only focusing on its past data, we cannot really adjust to the future trend. Also, setting the average data of its peer firm in its industries as a benchmark may not really reflect the true status of its industries since other variables such as region and human factors may also have an influence over the data.

Graduate / SOP for Master of Applied Behavioral Economics and Individual Choice [NEW]

Please submit your statement of purpose. This one- or two-page statement states your reasons for undertaking graduate work and explains your academic interests, including their relation to your undergraduate study and professional goals. Include your full name and your proposed field of study at the top of each page.

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During my undergraduate study, I became interested in the issue of employee retention from my own experience. Retaining elite employees not only saves the cost of operation but also keeps the core competencies in-house. However, from the employee's point of view, their choices are either to jump ship or to stay. I encountered a jump ship situation myself during a shopping website development project. My teammates who were in charge of technical support jumped ship to another project without informing me in advance. This experience strengthened my determination to further study economic behaviors and individual choices because they are as important as techniques in related to the success of an organization.

To analyze the jump-ship scenarios, I started to consider using game theory which is a powerful management tool that can be used to calculate the highest outcome of an employee's decision. We can thus make a prediction by using the payoff matrix or game tree in a simulated situation and change our stimulation mechanism accordingly. However, as I am not sure whether the employees choose their moves without being sure of the firm's move or not, both sequential and simultaneous games have to be taken into consideration. So there may be several decisions for several different scenarios instead of a single solution based on the overall picture.

I would love to better understand this issue. But my undergraduate study only introduced some general solutions to employee retention and the game theory I learned by myself is not enough. Your program provides courses such as Behavioral and Managerial Decision Making which will help me understand how to best organize and motivate the human capital of the firm. There are also courses about research methods and the proper use of statistical data which are vital in setting up the right model for analysis. I believe your program will help me look at this issue from a comprehensive view with a deeper insight into the behaviors of employees.

As an accounting major student, I gained a comprehensive mastery of fundamental principles of finance from courses including Macro-Micro Economics and Financial Management. To ensure that my mathematical skills would be at the desired level, "level A" was applied for all my mathematical classes including Advanced Mathematics, Linear Algebra and Statistics. Normally, I prefer to lead by full participation in a project and act on my ideas rather than wait for other's instructions motivated me to learn Support Vector Machines (SVM). I learned the use of MATLAB on SVM by myself and my thesis "prediction of the return on investment based on SVM" was published on Global Information Guide No.XXX. Aiming to access a full understanding of how business operates, I deem internships and group works as critical components for realizing my career goals. My first internship at AAA Security taught me to prepare for product promotion. My second internship at BBB allowed me to learned accounting principle by generating accounting entries and filling financial documents. My last internship at CCC Futures taught me to advise customers to make investment decisions by processing financial data and benchmarking.

Although I am confident that my solid academic and professional background will help me find a position as a consultant in China, I want to solve my long held puzzle in retaining employees. Combined with a passion for academia, I was seeking a master's program in behavioral finance. Your esteemed program, with specialization in behavioral finance is perfectly aligned with my educational background and specific research interests. While my intention is to obtain a position as an consultant, my long term goal is to be a researcher and take this field to a new level. Therefore, with an environment of a diverse group of people who are all striving to live up to the same high-standard that you are being held to, XXX is the place for me to find my career peers and realize my goals.

Graduate / In 250-500 words indicate your expected career track - Master of Financial Economics Essay [2]

Hi everyone. I know it is almost new year time so let me wish you guys happy new year first :D
I have an essay that will be due in a week so I am looking for grammar check and probably insightful opinions if time permitted. Thanks for your help in advance.

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In 250-500 words please indicate your expected career track (examples include, but are not limited to, consulting, banking, asset management, research and modeling, risk management, etc.) and describe how the Master of Science in Financial Economics will help you attain your career goals. Please be specific.

After finishing my Master's degree, I am looking forward to working as a consultant with an investment management firm, helping customers evaluate their business plans and providing investment advice by doing market research and synthesizing massive amounts of data.

In a competitive job market, the technical skills and analytical expertise gained through the coursework component of a PhD program are increasingly valuable and the MSFE program of Columbia is one of the few programs that can meet with this requirement.

I have learned that the courses for each semester usually consist of three PhD lessons and one MBA lesson. From a current student of MSFE, I learned that as an accounting major student, I can take the Exemption Exam for Accounting and change the course of Accounting into Asset Management. The flexibility of choosing the courses to enroll in can help me enrich myself with the knowledge I need most.

Over the course of my career, I plan on becoming an economist with the aim of improving the Chinese financial system. With limited channels available to raise capital, the Chinese financial system has not found a good way to help SMBs get the capital they need. In China, private lenders get only limited legal protection and face numerous restrictions on commercial lending. Bigger firms, however, have greater ability to raise money from banks, which enlarges the wage gap in China. The net result is that the companies with the highest comparative advantage (the SMBs) are the least likely to get the capital they need to grow, decreasing the competitiveness of China in the world market. Although China has taken steps to solve this problem, there is still a long way to go. Since the MSFE program provides many theoretical and academically strong PhD courses such as Asset Pricing I&II, Corporate Finance Theory, Continuous Time Model and Behavioral Finance, it is perfectly aligned with my specific research interests in the field of financial system and will help me realize my long term career goal to be an economist. I will certainly benefit from the rigorous courses setting.

The well-rounded career programs and the strong networking of Columbia University will guide me towards my desired career. I can not only seek job opportunities on the job posting system of CBS, but also ask the well-connected directors and professors for help to recommend me to job interviews. I would also cherish the great opportunities of attending seminars and speaker-events with some impressive and accomplished trend setters. I would not only be able to develop a strong analytical skillset, but also find supportive peers in my future career.

Thus, taking the above into consideration, the MSFE program becomes my priority choice for furthering my academic and professional career. I believe my diverse background will add to the multiplicity of your program and I genuinely hope to inherit the innovative spirit of Columbia and shape the future of finance.

Graduate / Duke-a list of '25 Random Things About Yourself.' [4]

Hi everyone. I am glad to be back on EssayForum again for my final application. Thanks to the help of EF, I have got two admissions including Brandeis MSF and Bosten University MSMF. Duke is the last university I am going to apply for and I appreciate your help very much. Please check if there are grammar mistakes and perhaps some advice on the content too. Thank you!

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When a new person joins the Admissions Team, we ask that person to share with everyone in the office a list of '25 Random Things About Yourself.' As an Admissions team, we already know the new hire's professional and academic background, so learning these '25 Random Things' helps us get to know someone's personality, background, special talents, and more.

In this spirit, the Admissions Committee also wants to get to know YOU - beyond the professional and academic achievements listed in your resume and transcript. You can share with us important life experiences, your likes/dislikes, hobbies, achievements, fun facts, or anything that helps us understand what makes you who you are.

Please present your response in list form, numbered 1 to 25. Some points may be only a few words, while others may be longer. Your complete list should not exceed 2 pages. Do not copy the essay question in the document you upload with your application.

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1. I was once a professional piano student and I did not attend primary school for two years to prepare for the entrance exam for the top musical middle school in China.

2. My mom wanted to me to be a professional tennis player when she was pregnant because my parents are both good tennis players. But I was originally estimated to be short-less than 160cm-so she was worried and gave this up. Now that I am 168cm, she would be kidding about how much she regretted her decision.

3. I learned seal cutting in middle school and I feel shame to tell you that my handwritten Chinese characters are worse than those I cut for seals.

4. I joined the national teenage club of badminton and competed with the Singapore Youth Team once. I lost by 1-2 to a boy 2 years younger than me.

5. I am a Buddhist and the maximum time I can stay still in meditation is one hour, although I literally cried at that time because of the pain in my legs for keeping that pose for so long.

6. After almost 10 years of classical music training, I was a little reluctant to listen to pop music. But I slowly developed interests for folk music and rock n roll.

7. I am a self-taught Ukulele player. It was not difficult to pick up a new instrument with my solid musical background.
8. I am the member of my university's badminton, swimming and tennis teams. But do not be too surprised because I actually stayed in each team in different years.

9. I am good at smashing the ball, both in playing badminton and tennis. It is my essential weapon.
10. In the last citywide badminton game I played, I was defeated spiritually by the shrill screaming of my opponent. That is why I believe competing in games can greatly improve one's ability to work under pressure.

11. I also love roller coaster. I think it has something to do with my mother's accident when she was pregnant with me. She was riding a bicycle and was unaware of the failing brakes. She almost lost control when she was riding down a long slope but she managed to save our lives by hitting into a giant pile of sand. That could be where my braveness came from.

12. During my professional piano training, I suffered from heavy pressure and could not sleep as I not only had to play the piano for up to 8 hours a day, but my family was facing financial difficulties because of the 2008 financial crisis.

13. I decided to give up on becoming a professional pianist because deep inside, I was not dramatic and emotional enough to be a great performer.

14. Although I am not a very good cook, I am sure I will a great one in the future because my parents are both very bad cooks and I have to keep improving my own skills to have a good meal.

15. When I was travelling on the Mongolian grassland, I thumbed for a lift ride just to see if I could make it. I was quite surprised that I succeeded within one minute.

16. I can conduct several traditional Chinese medical treatments including cupping therapy, Gua Sha (scrapping bruises) and Acupuncture. I have cured several persons who had a fever.

17. I enjoyed visiting museums and I have been to more than 50 museums in Beijing.
18. I kept a diary for almost seven years now.
19. All of my best friends share at least one common sport hobby with me.
20. I would like to watch the movies I have watched before when I want to relax because I do not want to be surprised or shocked by some unknown plots.

21. I did all the logo designs and introduction video editing in every group project I took part in.
22. I was not good at dancing so I enrolled in an elective class to learn pop dance. But I only got 66 in that class although I worked quite hard to keep up with its pace. I dare not to dance again since then.

23. I am quite popular among kids, leading to my success in my current job as an oral English teacher of seventh grade students. The secret is pretending to be their peer and share with them my stories when I am at their age.

24. I learned Support Vector Machines based on MATLAB by myself in a week because I was in desperate need to use it for my research.

25. I was once scared of marriage because I thought raising kids could ruin my career. But after I met my host family in the US, I was impressed by how they managed their family and career nicely at the same time and I no longer see marriage and career as contradiction.

Graduate / Waitlist/Rejection Argue essay for CMU eBusiness program [3]

Hi everyone. I am currently waiting for some other universitie's replies and I am getting a little anxious. I am imagining what I should do if I am waitlisted or rejected. So I tried to write an argue essay. Don't laugh at me but I just can't sit here and wait all day :P I guess waitlists and rejections are very common so maybe it is a good idea to get prepared. Anyway, thanks for bearing with me and please give me your opinion on the essay below, thanks a lot!

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I would like to restate my profound interest in e-Business. Although I am an accounting major student, I have enrolled in the Management Information Systemclass in my university and I remember clearly what my teacher said about our goals. She said that since we were not students of computer science majors, we would not be experts in programming. But we should utilize our advantage and build the bridge between business and programming. I was deeply impressed by her words and I since developed a strong interest for information and communication technologies. With the continuous data and information explosion happening on a global scale, IT is changing on a daily basis and I need to keep abreast of these developments and improve my ability to do business with the help of internet network.

I find your e-business program, which focuses on the application of information technologies in support of business activities a good fit for my desire career path. Although my long term goal is to be an expert in finance, I do understand how much experience one must accumulate in real work to have a deeper understanding of an industry. From my internship experiences, I can see that information technology is in strong demand in many Chinese firms and I believe it is a good start for me to learn from real work experience as a data analyst in a consulting firm. Therefore, my short term goal is to equip myself with strong expertise of IT and data analysis and begin my career as a data analyst.

I know my weakness compared to other prospective students is that I lack programming skills. But I have taken steps to make up for this weakness and I have started learning Python by reading books and watching videos. Just as I managed to learn Support Vector Machines on MATLAB by myself, I am certain I will make it. Should I be accepted, I would also like to enroll in the course Introduction to Computer Systems over the summer online or even before starting at Carnegie Mellon to strengthen my programming background.

I am deeply attracted to the campus atmosphere of CMU which offers opportunities to engage in the learning of programming and groundbreaking research. I will certainly benefit from the world renowned CS department of CMU by choosing some excellent courses. If I have the chance, I will definitely take Professor Tom Mithchel's class of Machine Learning to further explore SVM and reflect on my previous thesis about the application of SVM on prediction of return on investment.

As a program that focuses on group work, the e-Business program can offer me lots of opportunities to work with young breed of enthusiasts and find supportive peers in my future career. As a business major student with various professional backgrounds including accounting, piano and sport, I have the ability provide insights to projects from various perspectives, while remaining sensitive and cooperative within the team setting.

In conclusion, I have a very strong desire to join the e-Business program and I believe my unique background will add to the creativity of group work study. I am also taking steps to make up for my weakness in programming before beginning my master's education. Please reconsider my chance to be accepted in your program. Thank you.

Graduate / Duke MMS-how will your background and previous experiences add value to the experience of your peers [3]

Hello everyone! Here is my essay for Duke MMS and I am 23 words out of word limit. So please share your opinion on where I should cut or how can I improve my sentences. Thank you guys very much!

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【500 words limit】The MMS: How will you be engaged as a student (both in and out of the classroom), and how will your background and previous experiences add value to the experience of your fellow students?

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It is commonly acknowledged that a successful project always consists of people who can enrich the performance of each individual. As an Asian student with various professional backgrounds including accounting, piano and sport, I have the ability provide insights to projects from various perspectives, while remaining sensitive and cooperative within the team setting. I agree with what John Maxwell said, "Leadership is not about titles, positions, or flow charts. It is about one life influencing another". With this in mind, I will continuously strive to deal with discrepancies, challenges and emergencies, in order to attain the common goal of my team. This strategy will motivate me and my teammates to work together and overcome any difficulties that we may encounter. By cooperating with and learning from the young breed of enthusiasts at Fuqua, I would be able to find supportive peers in my future career.

To be more specific, I would like to elaborate on my data analysis ability and my solid business background which will contribute to the success of my team. While doing my class assignment of demonstrating Support Vector Machines (SVM) with an application, I wrote some codes on MATLAB successfully to predict the return on investment using past financial data. Rather than sticking to the reference materials my professor provided, which only introduced the application of SVM on SPSS, I learned machine learning with MATLAB by myself and my final thesis about this specific application was published on Global Information Guide No.625. Along with my solid mathematical background as "level A" applied for all my mathematical classes including Advanced Mathematics, Linear Algebra and Statistics, I am sure I have got the data analysis ability that every project requires.

My internships were as robust as my academic backgrounds and they enhanced my business background. My first internship at a security company taught me to prepare for product promotion. My second internship allowed me to learned accounting principle by generating accounting entries and filling financial documents. My last internship at XXX Futures taught me to advise customers to make investment decisions by processing financial data and benchmarking. These experiences granted me an overall picture of the Chinese financial industry and how business operates which I believe will beneficial for the group projects I will encounter in the future.

Outside the classroom, I would attend meetings with prospective employers and speaker-events with some impressive and accomplished trend setters to keep abreast of the latest researches and prepare for my career. In addition, I will actively participate in different extracurricular programs, as per my time as an undergraduate student, to demonstrate my athletic abilities and professional piano skills and to win glory for Fuqua. The sport tradition of Duke University appeals to me as I am the kind of person that spend almost every minute of my leisure time in sport. In sports, mind endurance is as important as physical endurance and I have learned to work under pressure when cooperating and competing with different people. As the team member of three sport teams in my university, I am certain that I will be able to represent the strong sport culture of Duke.

Graduate / Duke- 3-part short essay, each with 500 CHARACTERS limit (approximately 100 words) [3]

1. Why are you pursuing the MMS degree at this stage in your professional development?

As an accounting major student, I can calculate financial data and prepare financial statements. But to realize my career goal as a consultant, I need to know more about how to transform financial information into actionable insights to make wise business decisions. During my internships, I witnessed the immaturity of the Chinese financial market, leaving me unsolved puzzles of the privately-raised bond for small and medium enterprises. MMS will help solve my puzzles and realize my career goal.

2. What are your immediate career goals after completing the MMS program?【I really don't know what else I could write here...although I still have more than 200 characters left】

I planned to be a consultant and work with a consulting company. I would be ready to help customers evaluate their business plans and develop a market strategy by doing market research and analyzing massive amounts of data.

3. Life is full of uncertainties, and plans and circumstances can change. As a result, navigating a career requires you to be adaptable. Should the immediate goals that you provided above not materialize, what alternative directions have you considered?

I will try to find a job which will help me earn my own living and give me time to land on a more desirable job. I may try to be a temporary piano teacher to support my living and keep building up networking in the meantime to find a my desired job. If I have to go back to work in China, I will still try to be in an international company. The worst possibility is that I will retake my current job as an oral English teacher. This is a well-paid job so I can at least earn money for a MBA degree.