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Posts by korbansuspendcuy [Suspended]
Name: suspend lagi ya buat lagi
Joined: Oct 3, 2016
Last Post: Oct 6, 2016
Threads: 8
Posts: 13  
From: Indonesia
School: Tarumanagara University

Displayed posts: 21
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korbansuspendcuy   
Oct 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / Haunting photos of polar ice (TED Summary) [4]

Hi..
I have some advice..

Iceberg is[comes] from one[a] snowflake united with ...
It which is lain200 feet in height above sea level ...

It is
same as [what] we see our self as human...

We have to benefit [to] the other life ...

Thanks..
I hope it helps..
korbansuspendcuy   
Oct 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / The triumph of the Internet has initiated a new era: The Merits and Drawbacks of The Internet [3]

hi lincoln..
I have to tell you that I tried to make it in very consuming time.
I'm so exhausted to create this essay.

anw, do you have some advice in how I can minimise the time but I am still able to create a good essay?

I need many advice from everybody..
I think I'm running out the time to study english..
thank you..
your reply is an honour for me..
korbansuspendcuy   
Oct 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / The triumph of the Internet has initiated a new era: The Merits and Drawbacks of The Internet [3]

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before.
What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?


The triumph of the Internet has initiated a new era of the mechanism in how people communicate to one another. Apart from the upsides in the transformation of communication methods, Internet generates various detrimental consequences as well as society should be able to overcome the potential problems.

Initially, the general public are somewhat more individual as they consider for gaining all of the information from the Internet without asking others. Individualism certainly leads to the extinction of conventional information sharing system and culture diversity. Subsequently, due to the fact that information sharing system in Internet is free and easy, the practice of piracy toward legal right will rise dramatically and adverse to the patent holder. According to the recent study (2011) taken from Bloomberg, for example, it listed $13.5 billion dollars lost in sales in Europe, combining of all major software companies. Afterwards, the communication among people tends to be less in quality because it only relies on electronic devices never being as real as the face-to-face talk. Therefore, the amount of bias will emerge in terms of seeking the meaning of communication.

In order to confront the challenges, firstly, the fundamental education for youngsters should cast a light on restraining juvenile delinquencies and therefore young generation are ready to utilise Internet in the appropriate way and they will be benefitted from the myriad sources of study materials. Next, the piracy eradication in the Internet is compulsory for government to announce a strict IT law to defend the patent holders. In addition, the technology companies are able to improve their research and development programme in order to attain the cutting-edge technology willing to decrease the feeling of distant relations.

In conclusion, the Internet is clearly able to provide an array of boons in the state of communication. However, this improvement still has several pernicious damages to the vast majority of people and these problems should be solved to acquire merits from the Internet.
korbansuspendcuy   
Oct 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / What's wrong with your password? [2]

Hi..
your essay is quite brief..
I have something for you..

Password Is Important for privacy your computer data[the computer data privacy] . Password that your hear something[it is rather confusing, try to arrange simple and good sentences] to protect your data...

... hundreds different system[,] we must think to have policy for you[the] system.

I hope it helps..
keep writing...
korbansuspendcuy   
Oct 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Talk Summary: Patricia Ryan; Do Not Insist in English [2]

A research from MIT indigenous Language Initiative showed that the total of language in the world today is 6000 and it will be predicted to decrease significantly into only 600 in about a century to go. While the language begins to disappear, at the same time, English becomes an undisputed global language.

This situation is likely a normal occurrence for our life now as the best education is found in the western county -UK and US-. Therefore, everybody wants to have western education and they attempt to learn English to pass the enrolment requirement of English test. It results in the notorious opinion that English language is changing from mutually beneficial practice into a massive international business and this condition is truly incorrect if the educational institution rejects applicants just because of their linguistic skill.

In conclusion, people should celebrate the diversity, keep all of native languages and use it to spread the great ideas.
korbansuspendcuy   
Oct 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary: The Economist; The 2016 Nobel prize for medicine goes to biological recycling [2]

Autophagy, the process of recycling cells to provide energy needed to keep a starving cell alive, is the subject of this year's Nobel prise winner for physiology or medicine for Yoshinori Ohsumi of the Tokyo Institute of Technology.

He began to conduct his research in 1988 as a well-studied organism intensively used by biologist in their work. He dealt with the difficulties of the finding and the detailed observation in order to find the process of autophagy. Eventually, the result was published in 1992 that became the first to be elucidated in its entirety as part of the Human Genome Project.

Moreover, Dr. Oshumi was able to construct a complete picture of the process for his finding as it is a fundamental cellular process as well as this work has cast a light on diseases including Parkinson's and some sorts of diabetes.
korbansuspendcuy   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Internet Effects Based on Social Networking [3]

hi..
I have something for you..
let's check it out..

... site helps people to be closed[close to] each other

However, I cannot utterly agree with this initiative[you do not need to mention initiative as it is a noun] issue,

The availability of updating[to update] [the] condition by users in Facebook brings citizen [to be] interconnected.

I hope it helps..
korbansuspendcuy   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / The free movement of goods across national borders; IELTS writing task 2 [2]

The free movement of goods across national borders has long been a controversial issue. Some people argue that it is necessary for economic growth, while others claim that it damages local industries.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

It is true that international free shipping policy has become a debatable matter for a long time among many countries in the world.This issue has raised many opinions that one side denies with the reason it will trigger enormous impediments for local business to expand, but I personally support the scheme as it is an essential process to escalate the economic rate for the country.

First and foremost, the international free trade program is a gambling for a nation to do. When the capability of domestic business has not been ready to face the global competition, this situation tends to wreak havoc on the economic stabilisation. For instance, there will be a deficit balance sheet in the country unable to compete. If the local products fail to excel the international brands then import commodities will dominate the local market. Eventually, it will eradicate the opportunity for local entrepreneurs to broaden the sales.

However, the tight competition in the market benefits the consumers. It will emerge a high quality standard in order to persuade the purchasers. In fact, consumers will get the high grade goods with low-price purchase because the companies attempt to gain more in selling quantity. The essential staples, for example, are going to be cheaper for parents to buy because it has a sensitive price. If the producers do not lower the price, consumers will buy in the other places and other products more affordable. This occurrence is actually profitable for the country and the citizens because it has two boons in which the companies begin to realise about quality improvement that will cause enhancement of the equipment and finished goods as well as consumers take the advantage of the inexpensive price with good quality products.

In conclusion, free trading for worldwide communities has both upsides and downsides toward a vast majority of people and I believe that this phenomena will encourage countries and society to get a better financial conditions.
korbansuspendcuy   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Talk Summary: Rory Stewart - Why Democracy Matters [2]

People who have relations with politic are often considered to be in the notorious image. Following that, four hundred years maturing democracy with the development of the society still faces a disappointed sense.

An array of intelligent people has explained that democracy will lead society into a great life because freedom will bring peace, prosperity and security. However, the bulk of nations which have applied this system in their countries are still in the dismal conditions.

Why those situations still emerge under the democracy is not about the prominent leaders who commonly have already achieved incredible background in education that citizens have elected but the problem is why citizens choose them.

The point about democracy is not instrumental. Democracy coming up is not due to the benefits that it brings and a guarantee of peace for the neighbourhood but democracy matters because it reflects the idea of liberty and dignity of individual that have equal vote in the formation of the government

If democracy becomes vigorous again, it will be necessary that no longer condition leads the public to attempt to trust the politician but it leads the politician to
korbansuspendcuy   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary: Guardian; Cath Kidston to expand in Asia after Hong Kong firm's takeover [2]

The fashion brand which is renowned by its floral pattern, Cath Kidston, is ready to expand after its takeover by Hong Kong investment firm hiring William Flanz -former boss of Gucci- as the chairman.

Cath Kidston has already had 133 shops in Asia and will open more in Asian countries later this year. Besides, last week the firm collaborated with Disney including the collections of Winnie the Pooh and these new products led to the biggest online sales ever. The company are totally entering a new stage of selling with involving Asia to increase its profit and this year has been the most successful beginning to exist and gain more new customers.

Eventually, as well as going internationally, the company will attempt to continue the innovation by exhibiting the collaboration products with Disney which is launched in stores this month.
korbansuspendcuy   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Students do not continue their study directly after graduated from Senior High School or University [2]

Hi..
I have some suggestions for you..

... or university believe that if they working first[work] before continue[continuing] their study,

[when] you have scholarship from your company to give you chance for entering[to enter] the next level ...
It is important to you because it help you to save much money [and] [you can] to use it for other things.

I hope it helps..
korbansuspendcuy   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary: National Geographic; Thoughie dies and species goes extinct [3]

Toughie, the world's last Rabbs' fringe-limbed tree frog and a symbol of the extinction has died in the Atlanta Botanical Garden. He was captive in 2005 with a lot of attention had been paid until he has his own Wikipedia page.

His captivity triggered the description of his own species (Ecnomiohyla Rabborum) in 2008 after frog rescue mission by the Atlanta Botanical Garden and Zoo. The species occurred in a very small range that field studies suggest more than 85% of all the amphibians on Toughie's home were vanished. Toughie, the frog, had lots of admirers. Last year his image was projected to St. Peter's Basilica to make the world could see and hear him.

Now he is gone and with him an entire species. Following that, we are going to lose almost half of all species by the end of the century. Likely the law of the nature, when the species go, so do we.

news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/09/toughie-rabbs-fringe-limbed-tree-frog-dies-goes-extinct/
korbansuspendcuy   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Powerful matthew hurricanes threaten Jamaica. [4]

Hi..
I found many corrections but there are too many to explain..
you should try to put the better grammar..

Recently there was occurs an extremely[was an occurrence of extreme] hurricane in j[J] amaica it[which is] called matthew hurricane, and this was a powerful storm,[.] >use fullstop< they were reached the top classification, category 5 becoming[just directly followed by preposition, you do not need to write becoming anymore] in felix in 2007.

Keep writing..
korbansuspendcuy   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary: One of two lions that escaped from an enclosure in Leipzig zoo in Germany [3]

Hi..
your essay is quite brief..
I have some additions for your essay..

another lion that is[you do not need to give "that" as "outside" is already an adverb] outside the (...) in this case because of["because of" is followed by object of preposition, not subject and verb] the personal safety ...

... but the other lion became agitated as they[who do they refer to? it is a little bit confusing] tried to calm it.

Keep writing..
korbansuspendcuy   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Talk Summary: Richard St. Johnson; 8 traits of success [2]

When we ask about what the meaning of success is, so success is about what you can do. Everything you do now is worth more than just much money, also not about your aptitude, or not even your smartness.

From ten years of research, five-hundred interviews and thousands of success stories from the other sources, eventually, he could get common factor for success.
There are eight traits successful people have in common. The biggest factor is "passion", so you can love what you do started from now. Then, it is followed by working really hard to be in the process of success. You should still focus on your purpose and make it simple that you just pay attention in one thing, not everything. Obstacles always appear in front of our way to success so that if you can keep pushing yourself then you will achieve your future. Coming up with good ideas is a feature to ease your step and it will innovate your life. Afterwards, you should keep improving yourself and then do not forget to serve other with your value because success is not just about your own life. The last is to persist, showing that there is no overnight success.

Those are the foundation from the other specific skills which can be expanded and this traits wil be the heart of our success.
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