Writing Feedback / Although air travel becomes the easiest way for massive people to transport, it should be reduced [2]

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Q:
Restricting air travel is the only way to prevent air pollution.
Do you agree or disagree?

A:
In recent years, air pollution become the main problem that people face. Some people think that the only way to tackle this problem is to stop air travel. In my point of view, I completely disagree with that statement because there are some ways to prevent air pollution.

Although air travel becomes the easiest way for massive people to transport, it should be reduced by the government to reduce pollution especially in air pollution. A large number of air travel can increase air pollution. This is because air travel produces the emission of carbon dioxide that can make air pollution. For example if each day there are several air travels from place to place, the emission of CO2 will increase dramatically and as a result, it effects the weather. If this condition is repeated continuously, it can cause global warming. It is important to reduce air pollution by prohibiting air travel.

On the other hand, prohibiting air travel is not a good idea, because air travel provides people to travel easier than before and spend a few time if they want to go far away. There are another ways to prevent air pollution. Firstly, the government should reduce the amount of vehicles such as private car and motorbike. Actually, those vehicles produce large amount of CO2 especially in urban areas. In addition, it is important for citizen to use air conditioner wisely, because by using AC, it can increase the air pollution too. The most importance, inhabitant should protect natural habitat from deforestation.

In brief, although prohibiting air travel can reduce air pollution, there are some alternative ways to save environment. It is imperative that government should find the best way to solve air pollution without restricting air travel.

Writing Feedback / The universe has begun with the second thermodynamic law of physics [2]

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The history of the universe by David Christian

The universe has begun with the second thermodynamic law of physics. How is possible the universe make complexity? The answer could be the universe can create complexity but with big difficulty. In college it called as goldilocks condition which is not too hot and not too cold and complexity increase slightly step by step. 13.7 billions of year ago, there was nothing in the universe and it was so dark. After the big bang, the universe started to happen and expand although it contained a blow at the first. Suddenly, there are some energy such as electro-magnetic and gravity which are produced by the universe and continue to make proton, electron, and neutron. 380.000 years after big bang, simple atom appears which contains hydrogen and helium nuclei for capturing electrons to form stable atoms. Recent study by W map satellites show that big bang can make stars and it makes periodic table of chemistry becomes more complex. In brief, the universe is made by complex big bang which produce stars and all of the living things live in one of the star called as universe.

Writing Feedback / "THEME: CRIME" The reasons why people tend to do criminal action [2]

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Q:

Each year, the crime rate increases.
What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?
A:

The increase of criminal action in some places is one of the most serious problem that people is facing in recent years. This essay will explain the reasons why people tend to do criminal action and discuss some solutions to prevent the rise of it.

There are several predominant factors of crime that usually happen in the middle of society. Firstly, over populated in some urban areas. This is because, villagers who live in countryside want to improve their life by moving to the cities. The villagers usually lack of education and they can not compete with the citizen who have better education. As a result, some people become job less and tend to do everything such as criminal action to full fill their needs there. In addition, bad environment take a major role for making crime. For instance, people who live in bad environment usually make a friend with bad people too, so they can be affected by bad people and tent to do crime. By having so, crime is made by people who have bad habit in their daily life.

On the other hand, there are several steps that government should do to prevent the increase of crime. The first step to prevent this problem is by using transmigration. It means that government should move people who do not have job in that place to a new area. As a result, the population of people in urban area is decreasing and the crime is decreasing too. Secondly, the government should provide more job field in urban areas, so there are no more crime actions in that place. In addition, government should give training to unemployment people to develop their skills. By using that ways, the crime can be reduced well.

In conclusion, although there are several reasons why crime is increasing nowadays, the government has better ways to prevent this problem. It is imperative that people who live in urban areas should support the government, so the crime can be reduced significantly.

Writing Feedback / Resume an article "Playing Grand Theft Auto can teach autonomous cars how to drive" [2]

Playing Grand Theft Auto can teach autonomous cars how to drive
Source: Timothy Revell (newscientist)

The development of technology takes a major role in automotive. Nowadays, the system in car uses a super high technology computer which can make car drive automatically without any driver or called as autonomous car. But in its development, it has a drawback. The computer is very hard to recognise other cars. As a consequence, recently there was a car accident between Tesla Model S and white truck. At that moment of time, the car failed to distinguish the color of truck against the sky.

The concept of autonomous car has been thought and now adapt the same concept as virtual traffic on Grand Theft Auto V. Google and Uber have some disadvantages in their algorithms, because they use pre-recorded footage of traffic. Moreover the researchers tested an algorithm for GTA V and compared with real-world images. Eventually, The algorithm which uses in GTA V as well as the way to difference the car in the real world. In conclusion, video games such as GTA V can help researchers which want to see the difference of vehicles and its conditions although there is still have a problem in it. It is imperative that driverless car is more safety than someone who drives a car as usual, because there are several accidents in the road cause by human errors.

Writing Feedback / Creativity and literacy are very important in education. TED Talk "Do Schools Kill Creativity" [2]

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Creativity and literacy are very important in education. Both of them take a big role for developing student especially at school. For instance, a girl draws the face of God at her drawing book when the teacher asks her for drawing. Eventually, the teacher said that nobody knows God's look like, but the girl said that she has the face of God in her minds. It is the evidence of how strong the creativity is. Some people believe that if people do not have creativity, they will grow as a autism person. Education helps people to develop their creativity, so they will be oriented and educated. Moreover, every educations in USA and all over the worlds have same hierarchy subject. The main purpose of public education around the worlds is to produce university professors. Our education system is predicated on the our academic ability and that is the reason the whole system was invented around the world although they were no public service on education is real before nineteenth century. To sum up, it is imperative that people who live in this era should help the young generations to catch up their future.

source: TED talk by Sir Ken Robinson

Writing Feedback / Culture is related to the identity of the country. IELTS "THEME: CULTURE" [2]

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Question:
Some people think that a person can never understand the culture of a country unless they speak the language.
Do you agree with this opinion?

Answer:
Culture is related to the identity of the country. Nowadays, a large number of people start to forget about their culture although they live and do some activities there. Understanding about culture in a country is really hard for some people though they can speak that language fluently. I believe this problem has two sides which are pros and cons.

In this modern era, some people who live in the country are really hard to understand the cultures especially for young generations. This is because the juvenile live in the modern era and they do not know the struggle of live in the past. For instance, the country's culture is becoming extinct and mixing with the other cultures. In addition, globalization takes the major part in this problem. As a consequence, juvenile do not care anymore about their own culture.

On the other hand, old people who understands about the culture should tell the young generations, so they can understand easily their own culture. There are several ways to understand the country's culture. Firstly, history subject should be applied as the compulsory program in school curriculum. The teacher should teaches the student about the country's culture by explaining people's behaviour in the past. Moreover, people live in the middle of society and they should interact and study by their self about the culture. Education becomes the main part as a tool for understanding the culture.

In brief, people as citizens in a country should know their culture although it is hard to be understood. In my point of view, I completely disagree with that statement, because if I live in a country, I should understand about the culture to increase my nationalism.

Writing Feedback / There are four ways to become powerful when we are speaking in front of people [2]

Hii, Here is my resume from TED about "How to speak so that people want to listen"
Please give your comment below...

Human voice is the most powerful sound from the world. Some people had experience when they spoke, audience did not listen to them. There several senses of speaking in the world. Firstly, Gossiping. Actually after 5 minutes we talked, people around us will make a gossip about the way we talked. Secondly, judging. It is very hard to listen to somebody if we know that we were being judged. Thirdly, negativity. If we have negative thinking, we also hard to be listen by someone. The last is about hesitation to difference between fact and opinion. Sometimes, we feel very difficult to listen when someone talked opinion and fact. There are 4 ways to become powerful when we are speaking in front of people and to make a change in the world. The word "HAIL", which mean to greet or acclaim enthusiastically. The H is stand for honesty in order to be clear and straight. The A is stand for authenticity, it means that we have to be our-self when we are talking in front of people. The I is stand for integrity or make sure what will we talk so the audience can trust what we said. Finally L is stand for love, it means that we have to wish people well in our speak. In conclusion, people have toolbox in their body such as mouth and tongue as a gift from the God. We have to use it to improve our speak, for example we should manage the tone of our voice, when we use high tone and when we use low tone to persuade audience.

Writing Feedback / There are several steps to make a forest. Firstly, by spreading the seeds into the moist soil. [3]

Hello, this is my resume about "How to grow a forest in your backyard" by Shubhendu Sharma-TED talk

Nowadays, forest not only use as a place for biodiversity, but also as the main place in this globalizations era. It does not matter the big or the small there are. Growing the forest in backyard of the house just need approximately 2 years. There are some benefits of forest, for example to produce the natural resources for vehicle. To make a forest, we should know the elements of it and try to group the elements. The main factor is soil and how to make water absorbed into it. We should make sure that the soil held the water and stay moist. If the soil do not have the nutrient, we must add it. On the other hand, soil has microorganism that could make the soil life and contained nutrient, because the task of microorganism is to eat and multiply.

Trees divide into 4 layers, there are canopy layer, tree layer, sub-tree layer, and shrub layer. The different between the canopy layer and tree layer is only in the size of the tree. Canopy layer located on the top of big trees and tree layer located on the top part of the medium-size trees. There are several steps to make a forest. Firstly, by spreading the seeds into the moist soil. Make sure there is a space between plants. After 3 month, the seeds grow into plants. The health of soil is known by the growth of mushrooms. Then, we must watering the plants daily until it reach approximately 2 years and try to remove the weed. AS the forest grow up, the sunlight can not reach the soil, and without the sunlight, weed disappear naturally. The forest no need to be watered again because the forest is moist enough and they can grow forever.

Writing Feedback / TED Talk "How Fear of Nuclear Power is Hurting The Environment" [3]

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How Fear of Nuclear Power is Hurting The EnvironmentTED talk by Michael Shellenberger-June 2016

Nowadays, a lot of people in California use clean energy such as solar energy for daily life. It proves by the amount of roof house in California which used a solar panel to produce the electric energy. His research shows the demand of solar energy increased since 2009 and still going up until now, but the percentage of electricity from clean energy started to decrease from 36% to 31% since 1990's. Fossil fuels in California is increasing sharply than the demand of clean energy. Four nuclear plants almost equal solar in 2015 to produced electricity. It is only 10% of energy that produced by solar panel in California. The problem is how to optimalized the demand of energy nowadays. The option is by using nuclear energy.

Nuclear energy has very low-carbon compared with coal, natural gas, and solar panel. The research shows that nuclear energy could provide a lot of power than the others. In other hand, the use of nuclear energy can affect the environment. Survey from Ipsos in 2014 showed solar energy was the most favourite in California, while the second was wind energy, and followed by oil and nuclear energy. Although climate crisis attack mostly part of the worlds, In the next 2040 China will sell nuclear reactors online and it is a nuclear reactor gas. Recent studies show nuclear is the safest in air pollution that coal, petroleum, biomass, and the others gas. The conclusion is to solve the climate crisis or to overcome the clean energy crisis is not by judging the nuclear machine but by solving the fear itself.

Writing Feedback / Resume From Nat Geo Article "Hurricane Matthew's Destructive Storm Surges Hint at New Normal" [2]

Hello, My name is Gigih...Please help me to improve my writings and correct my errors...Here is my resume from natgeo's article...Thank you

Hurricane Matthew's Destructive Storm Surges Hint at New Normal

Hurricane Matthew makes seawater flooding into the seaside towns from Florida to California. Matthew known as the most powerful hurricane to hit USA in a decade will make the sea surface rising dangerously. The lawmakers are still debating about the climate change but in the other hand the sea level in their beaches was rose gradually higher than before. Altough the flood regularly at the high tide in Miami Beach and Fourth Lauderdale, the government in Florida does not accept the climate science. As a consequence, most planning that is being done occurs at the local level, where few cities and counties have the money to fund the kinds of big projects needed to adapt to their changing circumstances. According to the National Climate Assessment, the ocean along the East Coast is rising one to four feet, while storms are forecast to become more frequent and more destructive. When it became big disaster, more than 2 million people in the south-eastern states go to the high ground. Matthew's hurricane which killed hundreds of people in Haiti and 4 people in Florida had weak winds, sheer size, and slow-speed trek but the coast and enough rain saturated to cause flooding on top of storm surge. The scientist predict the sea surface will rise up to 3 feet in the next 2100 in Florida. As a result, the architects, engineers, and water experts proposed an array of concepts to add facility for prepare for a wetter future, so the rising of sea surface can be mapped.

Source: Laura Parker, news.nationalgeographic