Undergraduate / FPU, Pepperdine essay-- Faith and service. [3]

Prompt: Our motto is "Faithfulness, Wisdom, Service." How does this motto relate to your personal beliefs, experience and ideals?

Prompt2: Pepperdine's scholarly community equips students with a liberal arts education anchored in Christian values. Our commitment to integrating faith and learning challenges our students to understand that the gift of knowledge ultimately calls for a life of service. With this commitment in mind, please respond:

Tell us how the integration of faith and learning can prepare you for a life of service, and discuss the impact service-learning can have on the renewing of your mind, spirit, and community.

I have grown through the education my parents have given me since my transformation from a simple and dusted seed to be the strong oak I am now. Although I am composed of different branches and roots, my trunk is set by one single rule-to be wise in deciding my actions. Wisdom is truly the most precious rock in the world; heavy because it is full of responsibilities, but precious because once you have it you will not want it to leave you. To say "I am wise" is not the same thing as "I am willing to be wise"; it is easy to say one is wise, but it is hard to prove it.

I posses a powerful perception which is something I value because it provides me of instincts at the time to act, but I still need knowledge; I am as short in knowledge as a mini-skirt is of cloth. Although my name, Aldo, means "old and wise man" I am neither that old nor wise enough to be called by my name, no; not yet.

However my actions have been what I called a "fair beginning" to be able to call myself by my name. As a Catholic I learned to be dedicated to my community. Thus, to serve is the most important factor of happiness.

The first time my actions served the community was when I was a fifth grader. I, with other students of my school, went to the surroundings of Morelia to provide with food, clothes, and toys to the people who lived in that area; they lived in carton-made homes. I was devastated to see how they suffered, and since that time I decided to go every year to provide with what I could collect from my friends, teachers, and family. I enjoyed helping these people! The smiles of the boys and girls playing with what could be their first toy were as shiny and valuable as the "pink panther."

Furthermore I have learned since a young age that I must be dedicated. It sounds simple, and it truly is, but it is not easy to maintain yourself on this tiny line of responsibility. I, however, am dedicated to any action my body makes.

Undergraduate / Bowdoin Supplemental essay--My life through music and sports... [11]

Prompt: Bowdoin is a liberal arts college that thrives on intellectual discourse in and out of the classroom. Students, faculty, and staff all participate in the exchange of ideas in an atmosphere characterized by high achievement and a sense of balance. The Admissions Committee is eager to learn more about you and your school community. Reflecting on your own educational experiences, how have you prepared yourself to enter an academic environment like Bowdoin's? (Suggested length: 250-500 words.)

This essay is frustrating me. I don't know if it answers the prompt. I don't know if it is fluent. So any suggestion about anything are more than welcomed. I would like honest comments about any factor that affects my essay (positively or negatively.) Thank you guys.

With a white collared shirt, black pants, and my Palo de Rosa guitar, I stepped up onto the stage when my mentor said my name. I had studied "Sons de carrilhőes" by Joăo Pernambuco for one month before the concert; I knew it as well as I know my brother's moves in FIFA '08 for the PlayStation 2-pretty well. I was ready to end the most exciting, most competitive, and most important day of my life so far.

That Saturday, as captain and central defense of the Conservatorio de las Rosas soccer team, I had the privilege to play the final of a championship of our school's sector. We, the least favorite team, were ready to show our new coach what an extraordinary team creator and motivator he was. Without a huge budget or extravagant uniforms he made us a team. Our game was against Thomas Jefferson team. Not the best team, but outstanding in performance and competitiveness; and with so much budget they could buy all their team-members' uniforms and tennis. The first time was tied and very long due to several faults of both teams; mines too. But as the first touch of Jeshua, our forward, in the second time we took the control of the game. We defeated them 5-3; three Jeshua's goals, one Anton's (my brother) goal, and one mine. The celebration came with my graduation as my feet came into my black shoes-neat.

The same day we won the championship I was graduating from my 9th grade. I was going to Preparatoria Valladolid, one marvelous school. I had obtained my admission through my passing of the preparatory test and my acquiring of a scholarship. Three significant events in one day; this day definitely made a mark on my life. "I am ready for tonight's dinner", I said my family when enjoying a delicious lunch at the best place in the city-my home.

After my graduation's formal dinner, I played the guitar as the opener of the concert; t was my fifth time opening a concert at my thirty-third concert. As I began to play, I felt music talking to me; at the end of the song I heard the notes of my life. From Mi to that La to that double Re to the last Re, I felt the exact same way with my life-from being in diapers to being in shorts and jeans to being in black suits to the culmination of a life with no determined point yet.

I have lived in six cities through my seventeen years of life. In all these, I have learned, enjoy, and served. Thus, my experiences in all my communities are what have formed me. Although they discuss about my future and how to developed it, my family has always supported my education-my mother teaching me how to read and how law and society works; and my father teaching me how to speak in English and how to trace my road to success with music and art as my guides. And as my father said to me a while ago: "Without good education and without music there would be no past, no present, and no future." I agree.

Undergraduate / "faithfulness, wisdom, service" Prompt FPU [4]

Okay...
This is the first draft...I do not find if it right I as I state it, but that's the point...I think.
Please focus on sentence structure and if I must add or remove something...or if I should rewrite the whole essay...This is a Christian U. that is why the quote at the end...

Prompt: Our motto is "Faithfulness, Wisdom, Service." How does this motto relate to your personal beliefs, experience and ideals?

Since I can remember, my life and its actions have been there to serve someone. I have served in two different countries and in more than five different cities. Thus also, I am a server in my current community in all possible ways. I know that if I do something, I must do it with a reason (to help); this could be...my family, my friends, my teachers, an indigent, me.

I have grown serving since my appearance of a simple and dusted seed to be the strong oak I am now-with different branches and roots-but with only one straight rule that set my trunk. To be wise. Although I am breaking my rule because I am not wise yet, at the same time I am not breaking it; I am trying to be wise, which at the same time is wise. Therefore I am not overruling that important rule-I am not wise, but my actions are. Wisdom is truly the most precious rock in the world; heavy for the fullness of responsibilities it has, but precious, because once you have it you will not want it to leave you.

Through my parents, I have learned not only to be dedicated and assertive, but also creative and faithful to my beliefs and values. I have learned the power of wisdom without yet having it: the dedication it takes to be faithful to your values. But most important, I have learned the reason of serving: to be served you must serve first (And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. [Luke 6:31])

Undergraduate / Common App: Activity (photographer... work with my dad) [8]

Prompt: Elaborate on one of your activities.

I really need help with this one. I cannot make it sounds right. I need feedback as soon as possible. Thank you..

"One, two, three; smile."
Those familiar words represent my job, my familial obligation, and a personal passion. I am son of a photographer, which means I am usually taking or editing photos. Photography is self-expression in several ways. It is an art in which I can convey my feelings in the precise moment I take a shot of what I want to create in paper and tint. This art has taught me to be accurate, but emotive. In order to take a perfect shot, I must understand that there might be no second chance so I should be accurate. I must be emotive, so I can express the emotions of the individuals I am photographing. At the end, I think photography is as any action in this world: In order to do this action correctly I must be dedicated and I should follow its rules.

HELP!!

Undergraduate / BU and Yale essay: 3 characteristics (assertiveness, creativeness, and charisma) [3]

Prompt I: In an essay of no more than 500 words, please select three words that describe you best and tell us how you will use these qualities/characteristics to contribute fully to the BU community.

Prompt II: You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, the Short Answer, and the Personal Essay. While we leave the topic of your second essay entirely up to you, try telling us something about yourself that you believe we cannot learn elsewhere in your application. Please limit yourself to fewer than 500 words.

Is my essay answering the two prompts?
This essay is just the first draft... look for any grammatical errors or anything... any feedback will be greatly appreciated.

[College] is an immense pot of culture and knowledge; it is a community where you just contribute to make it better. Since I can remember, I have been always preparing to college, to take this small, but at the same time immense step in life. I was 4 years old when I first had contact with a book that I could understand; it was the time my mother teach me to read the fairy tale "Snow White and the seven dwarfs" by the Grimm brothers. This tale is interesting converted into a film by Walt Disney where it became more descriptive; it named the dwarfs as their personal characteristics.

Since young age, my family, friends and teachers have described me as an assertive, creative, and charismatic... kid, teenager, man. Assertiveness is in my soul. I cannot run from it. I am assertive because I am committed to what I think, but I hope I also seem respectful to others' decisions and open to others' ideas. I am sure my assertiveness will attract other people's assertiveness and empower them to express their own ideas, which will cause to bring out the leaders out of their interior.

My creativity is something special, I admire of myself. In the world, creativity is what keeps this world moving. Without creativity we would be in a gray and black world without majestic designs of architecture, splendid master pieces of art, effective acts of law, fun and healing music, and helpful advances in technology. With my creativity, which comes in all my actions, from simply playing my acoustic guitar and creating melodic songs to argue political issues with my family and teachers, my colleagues will be spread with innovative ways to achieve great contributions to our future community--[college].

I am a comedian by nature; I was born with this gift. I was not only the mentor of Adam Sandler and George Lopez, but also the writer of the dialogues of several movies including "Cheaper by the dozen" and "Shriek." This helped me to become a great leader and developed my charisma.

If I was a dwarf, I do not know what my name would be.
With these and more of the characteristics of my persona I will contribute to better the fantastic community of [college]. My assertiveness, creativity, and charisma have done an excellent work in my actual community; and I am sure they will help, with others' characteristics and qualities, to contribute to all what makes [college] the vast community it is now. I know for sure that with my characteristics, my new friends, teachers, and my whole new community will be enjoying their time with me, and I with them.

Undergraduate / Stanford: a sense of intellectual vitality "Don Quixote" -rough draft 15 min ago [4]

Prompt: Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

I do not know if I am answering the question. Please look for anything bad with it. Any feedback will be accepted and appreciated.
This is rough draft I wrote just 15 min ago.

I was fourteen years old when I first read "The Ingenious Hidalgo Don Quixote de la Mancha" by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra. And I have changed drastically since then. I have always been an active learner in academics, arts, and cultures; I have learned in a daily basis about every subject, I have learned music to show my passions through it, and I have learned to read (in English and Spanish) archaic books because of my desire to learn about the past in order to know about the present.

After rereading "The Quixote" in English, I realize now, in my seventeenth year of life, that I am still a rookie in the game of knowledge, however, I know the basic principle of this game--there are no rules. I decide what and how I want to learn. And as I have come to learn more about Cervantes, his passions, his desires, and his thoughts, I realized that the power of language is one of these subjects I want to learn about, because I know that if masterly used, a powerful language might allow me to alter facts in one way or another in order to achieve my desired goals.

"Is Don Quixote crazy?" my brother asked me when reading Cervantes, a master of the Spanish language, lying on the brown carpet of my bedroom. I replied "Is he?" No answer. No rational individual is able to define insanity in a sentence or paragraph just as no one is able to be sure of being right or wrong about anything in this world. But we can define it, right?

Socrates' "Elenchus", used by Cervantes, explains that for any matter in this world there will be more than one opinion, comment, or critique. Thus, I read "The Quixote" for the first time and I found my desired discovery at that time. Liberty. I read "The Quixote" for the second time and still found my desired discovery, but at a new time. Love. How is this possible? Am I crazy to think that I can change so quickly and so differently? Yes. Maybe. No.

In this masterful piece of lecture, I aimed to fetch the possible reason to believe that this was the best book written in the Spanish language. Fortunately, I found it. It is...the fact that you have options, you decide what you want to believe. My mother told me once: "If you need to believe in something that is not your desire to believe, but others, you will never reach the sky." "What is that I believe in?" Myself.

Undergraduate / UC prompt 1: "My past and my present are the key to my future." [11]

Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

I do not know if my essay is good or not... Also, is it long? I am supposed to write two essays with only 1,000 words; and this one is about 740 words.

This is a rough draft so please look for any parts it may need to lose (or something it needs) and/or grammatical errors it has... Any feedback is helpful =P thank you.

My past has influenced my present; and it will decide my future. When I stare at those embarrassing photos of myself as a kid that my mother treasures like gold, I just see how that boy has become a man. I see how I have changed physically and mentally in a constant timeline with significant points of my existence-my life. Those old photos remind me of why I am here. I did not know how to feel about leaving my native country to look for a better future, about leaving a part of me in Mexico. Two years ago when my family and I moved to Dos Palos, CA, the only piece of my past that could console my nostalgic feelings was my acoustic guitar's sound of "Aires de Son" by Gerardo Tamez. I was now in the United States seeking the "American dream."

Subsequently, we moved to Fresno, CA. This was the moment when everything became clear for me. Although the economy was dreadful at the time, my family and I located there for better opportunities. I felt then that I was in the place I was destined to be; I felt like the last number in a Sudoku puzzle.

From being the son of an ex-judge, I am now a low-income student. However, I do reproach nothing to my parents, to the people I love the most, to the people I care the most, to the people that gave me the gift of life. On the contrary, I thank them for everything they have given to me. This feeling of gratitude toward my parents and my younger brother, my best friend, is what has made me grow to be the man that I am now. Beyond my dreams for the future, I know that in this new country of opportunities we will progress.

I am frequently asked what country I prefer; Mexico or United States, and I prefer not to give a specific answer to this question, because I love them both equally. To answer this question I even wrote a free verse poem.

My nation is wonderful, my nation is splendid,
Endless battles to protect it we fight.
Xanadu is its name,
It's the name we gave it.
Compared to the paradise
Obvious victory it has.

Although we love Mexico
Near of it we are not
Destiny calls us here, and here we will stay.

Upon all powers it is,
Satisfaction it gives us
And within it my new life and my love rests.

Mexico and the United States possess indisputable differences ...