Writing Feedback / business and cultural contact + development - views and your opinion [NEW]

1 .Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is a positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

6:07
Along with the advent of information age, people in each corner of the world nowadays can easily contact with each other, which further push/impel the interconnection and interaction among different countries. Meanwhile, a hot debate about the effects of globalization has been triggered. Some people think it will bring the positive effects while others believe many countries will lose their national identities. Personally, I think the benefits brought by this globalization far outweigh the disadvantages it produces.

Admittedly, the increasingly cooperation and communication between developed countries and undeveloped countries will to some extent influence and cut/impair/weaken the local traditional culture and life style. It is not uncommon to see in undeveloped countries that more and more young give up their traditional life mode and substitute the western countries life way for it. They watch western movies, listen to English songs, wear developed-producing products, and play games produced by developed countries.

However, there are indeed some benefits exist. we can not deny that they indeed improve the life standard of underdeveloped countries. For instance, in terms of individuals, the increasing business contacts will no question provide more employment opportunities for them; while the mutual influence between culture will also open an new world for them.

Personally, I think the most important reason why we should support this kind contact and communication is based on the fact that the lagged one will be located in a disadvantaged place in the future. It is not difficulty to find witness from human history. So, in this meaning, the contact with other countries is absolutely beneficial. At least it will let the undeveloped countries know what other countries are doing.

As mentioned above, we could safely conclude that the benefits brought by this mutual communication,cooperation and even competition, are more important than the lost of part of local culture.

6:47
305 Words

Writing Feedback / 5. mixed --21st century=opportunity,you agree/disagree, changes you hope-- [3]

5. Many people are optimistic about the 21st century and see it as an opportunity to make positive changes to the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with their optimism? What changes would you like to be made in the new century?

Along with the rapid development of human society, we are experiencing a change that never happened before. A majority of people take an optimistic attitude to the coming of new millennium. Personally, I think the coming of 21 century will bring us not only more opportunities, but also more challenges.

It is no doubt that the 21 century will bring us more opportunities and improve our life condition. For individuals, the development of medical skills and new medicines will save more precious lives; the further communication among countries will also produce more chances for individuals to visit other countries and to study new knowledge, so that by enriching their knowledge and experiences, make them more eligible for their careers and contribute more to the society. In turn, in terms of countries, the development of individuals will lead to them stronger and more abilities to sever citizens, thereby creating more harmonious atmosphere and living environment for human being.

However, at the mean time, there will be many potential challenges. We do not need to mention other things, only pay little attention to News we will know how many tragedies happened every day. Earthquake, tsunami, hurricane and so on, are threatening our lives every seconds. So if these phenomena do not be investigated clearly, human will still under the threat of natural forces.

Personally, I hope the new changes in new millennium will include the following things:
First, it is the issues existing in present society, such as education, employment and medical care system, as well as housing. Secondly, I hope the formation of natural forces that cause severe damages could get a clear answer. I also hope we could get reply about why they form; what we can do to prevent them; and what we can do to avoid these serious and disastrous results.

In conclusion, the coming of new millennium will bring us both opportunities and challenges. Facing it, human being still has many arduous assignments to deal with. In my opinion, I hope we could solve not only the society problems but also the formation principle of natural forces.

350

Writing Feedback / the town of Garlsdon: Maps, roads - IELTS cambridge 5 writting task1 [2]

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

3:10
The chart illustrates two possible positions to construct a new supermarket for residents in Garlsdon town. It can be seen clearly that the S1 site is located in the countryside---northwest of the town centre, while the S2 spot is situated in the middle of Town centre.

According to the map, we can see the town of Garlsdon is divided into four districts. the central part is the town centre, surrounding it is the housing district with two small industry districts in the northern and southern part within it, the outside field is the countryside area. In its northwest, southwest and southeast are Hindon, Brandon and Cransdon respectively.

In terms of the two sites (S1 and S2), we could see clearly that there is a railway pass both two sites, and two main roads connecting the town centre with other towns near them. The differences between them are: firstly, the S1 is located in the countryside, while the S2 is situated in the town centre; secondly, the main road passing S2 linking Hindon is 12 km far from the town centre, while the main road passing by S2 towards connecting the Bransdon and cransdon are 16 km and 25 km far from the town centre separately; thirdly, the population of Hindon, Brandon and Cransdon are 10,000, 15,000 and 29,000 respectively.

In conclusion, there are two similar features between the two sites both near the main road and rail way, and three different features including their positions, the distance and population of their accessible towns.

4:10 (+ revised)

words: 252 (too many, so not a good writing, should be revised to 160 words)
errors: separately,passing,southern
capital

Writing Feedback / Your school days, an enjoyable event description [5]

(1) Describe an enjoyable event that you experienced when you were at school.
When it happened/What was good about it /Why you particularly remember this event
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(1)
The enjoyable event I would like to talk here is the spring outing activity that happened on my middle school stage. At that time, my classmates and me were most about twelve or thirteen years old, not more than fourteen. We had our spring outing on one sunny saturday. Accompanyed by laughters and singings, we marched towards our destination on bikes.

The destination was located on a foot of a mountain, where there were a lot of tall trees and a river pass by. We caught several fishes from the river, and picked up some branches from the small grove. Besides that, we also constructed oursleves cooking stove.

There were so many joyful things happening, that I can not tell you all of them. One thing I remember deeply is the simple noodle cooking. Several classmates with me took charge of cooking noodle; unfortunately, we are all not good cooks at that age, we even do not know the correct order to cook a bowl of noodle. So we put all the vegetables and noodles as well as some beefs into the water together before it boiled. After that we also try to stir it just like our parents did at home.

When all our work finished, our classmates began to enjoy our food. Can you imagine the scene, green noodles,over-fried fishes, luckily, the taste were not bad, even we could say fairly tasty. Apart from that, we still had some sweet potatoes being well cooked. All of the food were eaten out quickly, including our green noodles.

Even nowadays when I cook noodles it will remind me of this spring outing, I think the reason why I remember it deeply is probably it is the first time I cooked food, while it received an unexpected welcome. Moreover, personally, I believe the green noodles are quite attractive visually.

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(2) Did you enjoy your time at school, Would you recommend your school to others
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I enjoy my time at school greatly, there are my best friends, my lovely teachers, and interesting knowlege. Each holiday I can not help expecting the coming of the new semester.

I would be willing to introudce it to others, as it indeed is a good place for studing and living. In fact, it is so famous and popular in our local area that almost everyone knows it and eagers to be admitted by it without any others' recommendation. Nowadays, the competition to enter it is more ane more intense.

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(3) How do you consider about:
Single sex vs co-educational schools
School uniforms
the teacher as authority or friend
the role of the teacher in the language classroom
education vs training
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If let me to choose, I tend to choose the coeducational schools. As I think it is the natural process of our physical and mental development . What I mean is we will enter into the society ultimately,thereby, learning how to cooperate and compete with the other sex is an vital skill for living.

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I do not against students to wear school uniform , however, I also do not support student to wear them every day. Everyday ,when I see a student wearing a suit of school uniform, I　am thinking do they need to change clothes everday, or do they have at least five suits of school uniform which are absolutely the same model. How awful it will be to see five same clothes in their wardrobe. Not to mention you have to wear them everyday. Or should they wash them everday? what a trouble will it be！

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I think the teacher should be both an authority and a friend. As you know, there are always some naughty students, which can be managed if the teachers take them as friends. Sometimes they just need some authority to give them a lesson. For them, I think it is the reason why teacher should be as an authority appearing. While, for other students, especially the introverted students it will be more effctive if the teacher take them to be a friends.

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Ｉbelieve the role of teacher in language class play a very important role. As they usually are the first teachers in their students' language studying stage. Their encouragement at that moment are crucial for the students. As their role not only to be a teacher, more is a guider, they need to help students to slove any problem they encounter in studying. Therefore, they should be patient, and full of love.

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education and training??
education is a long period. while training is a short activity....(I do not know how to anser this question)

Writing Feedback / which one do you think--- a wide range of courses --most/least important [3]

6 Schools offer a wide range of courses such as physical education, music, economics, philosophy, math, English，geography, physics and history. Among all these subjects, which one do you think is the most important and which one is the least important?

5:37
Nowadays, along with the emphasis on the overall development of individuals, students now stay at schools also enjoy a variety of cultural courses. The courses provided with them vary from basic language courses such as english, chinese, french, to natural science and social science. Among so many branches, it is really hard to say which is the most important one and which is not, Personally, I think the basic language education occupies the most vital position, while all the other locate in the second important place.

The reason why I believe the basic language is important is based on the following reasons: First of all, basic language is the bridge of communication, if a person can master his/her native language well, he/she will become lonely and isolated, which probably lead to mental and psychological problem. Secondly, basic language is also the tool to enter into the new knowledge space. As almost all others are spread by words, it will be a barrier if him/her is unable to comprehend what meaning the words are describing and sending.

In terms of the most unimportant one, I do not believe any one could be classified into this type. To my knowledge, all the others play an important role in the evolvement process of human being, mathematics enable us to calculate precisely; music and painting make it possible to express our inner feelings; physics and chemistry help us step into the industry age. Lack of any one of them, human being would not step into today.

In conclusion, I personally think the basic language education is the most important one, as they are the underground stone of human development, while all the other disciplines place on the second important place, and there is not existing the least important one.

6:18

Words 295

Writing Feedback / Modern buildings are appearing in large numbers, we should build our buildings in traditional styles [5]

4. Modern buildings are appearing in large numbers, and some people believe that we should build our buildings in traditional styles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

5.30
In the present age, along with more and more buildings are constructed, a hot debate about the building style has been triggered. Some people think we should adopt the modern aesthetic model as the history is developing forwards, while others contend that we should keep our traditional aesthetic style. Personally, I think we should construct new buildings more in modern style than in traditional style.

Admittedly, the traditional building style has its special values and meanings. A construction with traditional style will remind us of the past history; moreover, a traditional building standing in the middle of modern building will attract more eyes and bring us some surprising. Besides that, for a local government with plenty of traditional buildings, tourism no doubt is an effective method to increase the tax and enlarges its revenue.

However, we can not reverse the trend of history development just because of individual's interests; in other words, we can refuse the modern building style and try to substitute for it with the traditional one because of some special reasons. Just turn to the development history of architecture, we will get the answer why we can insist on traditional style quickly. It is the population explosion make the history of our architecture progress. One reality is the traditional style can accommodate enough space for the present human beings to live in.

In conclusion, I personally suggest that although it is feasible to allow a small proportion of traditional style exist; we should pay more attention to our modern building style, as the essential aim of buildings is to serve humans instead of for appreciation.

6:07

268 words.

Writing Feedback / Reasons-winners are be motivated by money & fame, what impacts on youth & itself [3]

In the past, sporting champions used to be motivated primarily by the desire to win a match or to break world records. These days, they are more likely to be motivated by prize money and the opportunity to be famous.

What message does this send to young people and how does this attitude to sport affect the sports themselves?
Give reasons for your answers.

(this is a little difficult topic, I do not know how to continue in the writing process, welcome disscuss and please give me some suggestions)

3:57.
As the rapid development of economic development, over-commercialization results directly in the change of individuals' values. Athletes nowadays are motivated by cash reward as well as the accompanied opportunity to be famous, instead of the simple desire to win or break world records. Along with the prevalence of sport competition, this behaviour not only changes the values of young generation, but also exerts a profound influence on sports themselves.

There is no lack for evidences to prove that the values changes of the whole society, especially the young individuals. It is not uncommon nowadays to see that the excellent scientists who make enormous contributions, the sporting champions who have won medals are rewarded of a large number of money for their enormous contributions; even singers who are invited to give a performance on scene need to be paid a high wage. Not to mentioned that a 7 years old child asks cash from his parents for a high test scores in school.

In terms of sports themselves, this attitude to sport will pose a threat to the development of sporting cause in the long run. No denying that it will stimulate personal competition to some extent; however, the disadvantages hidden in its back should not be neglected. First of all, it will damage the sporting cause of a country. For example, if an athlete is in extreme pursuit of money, it is probable that he could be bribed money for giving up competition with others. Secondly, if an athlete has earned enough money so that he/she do not need and do want to earn money any more, will he or she give up participating the sports competition? No matter which motivation they harbour, only if they are motivated by prize money or to be a celebrity, the ultimate result are the one we do not expect to see.

To conclusion, it is time to change the current over- materialized value, including the individuals' values on money and celebrity, only in this way, will it be possible for our society to create a healthy and harmonious atmosphere for ourselves and the young generation.

353words

6:41

Writing Feedback / Give reasons and make suggestions. unemployment problem , reasons and solutions. [3]

In many countries, more and more young people are leaving schools and unable to find jobs after graduation. What problems do you think youth unemployment will cause to the individual and the society? Give reasons and make some suggestions.

Nowadays, along with the rapid development of high-technology, more and more young people face the danger of unemployment, some of them have been closed outsides the doors of workplaces even before they have a chance to step into them.

The influences of this phenomenon both on individuals and on society are extremely far-reaching. In terms of individuals, unemployment means the negative to his/her ability of working. In other words, his/her have not be able to adjust the society demands. This would not only bring serious spirit pressure to individuals, but also probably result in the family quarrels caused by the economic stress. In the aspect of society, unemployment suggests the increasing burden to society and government. A large number of unemployed youth will absolutely consume enormous society resources which will directly lead to the decrease of life quality of the whole social members.

To solve this problem need the joint effort of individuals, society and government. First of all, individuals should try his/her best to adjust himself/herself to adjust the society demands by enriching his/her knowledge and studying new skills. Meanwhile, the society and government should spare no effort to provide create such a condition for individuals, such as holding training classes, open technical schools, according to the society demands. by this way, not only will the individuals unemployment questions be solved successfully, but also the quality of the whole society will get improved enormously.

In conclusion, in my view, unemployment is not a serious question, the serious question should be the attitudes of individuals, society and government to deal with this issue. How will us choose , to give up or to accept challenge? I think the latter undoubtedly is the wise choice.

1: 08

(words 284)

Writing Feedback / Argu: discuss disad./ad. business and cultral contact bt countries,&your opinion [3]

Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is a positive development, while other think that many countries will lose their national identities.

Discuss both views and given your opinion.

5:00
Nowadays, the cultural communication and business cooperation between countries develop in an incredible speed. This phenomenon has triggered an intensive discuss on whether it is a positive development or a negative one.

Undoubtedly, there are a series of benefit we could gain from the global communication and cooperation. For example, we could improve our technology and facilities by introducing new developed technology and facilities from other countries. we have learned from history that the lagged countries will be under the control of developed countries, while the open policy for a country no question is the most effective approach to enhance its strength. Besides that, the cooperation between companies will provide more employment opportunities for local residents; consequently, people's life quality will be ameliorated by the increase of salary. And by cultural communication, we also enrich our knowledge and broaden our horizons. There is not lack for examples to certify the advantages of keeping contact with the other countries.

However, on the other hand, there also are plenty of facts to demonstrate the disadvantages brought by the globalization phenomenon. The most obvious example is that spread of "yellow cultures", it is not difficult for us to know the serious influences, especially on teenagers. Further, as far as developing and undeveloped countries are concerned, their individuals' value attitude and consumption attitude as well as the local culture are easy to be undermined by the developed countries.

Personally, I think for this phenomenon both advantages and disadvantages are existing. What we can do is keeping the contact with other countries, but meantime, controlling the spread of negative culture. More important is that we should enhance our strength as soon as possible.

5: 38
(ws 277)

negative
knowledge
there are ...
ameliorate deteriorate
history
technology
...residents; consequently,...

Writing Feedback / Do you agree or disagree? a jury has access to the defendant's past record [5]

Under British and Australian laws a jury in a criminal case has no access to information about the defendant's past criminal record. This protects the person who is being accused of the crime.

Some layers have suggested that this practice should be changed and that a jury should be given all the past facts before they reach their decision about the case.

Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

The debate about whether a jury should be authorized a concession to fetch the defendant's past record has been last for a long time. Some people who are against for it argue that it offends one's privacy and affect the judgement of jury. While others (who are for it) believe it is helpful for the court to judge fairly. Personally, I tend to support the attitude that the jury should have access to a defendant's past record.

The most important reason is that I do think it is helpful for the court to judge correctly. No one can deny such a fact that an individual's behaviour will be under the control of his or her characteristics and personality. It is obviously an effective approach for the jury to get the conclusion rapidly and correctly by comparing a defendant's behaviour with the crime in the case, and by check one's past criminal records undoubtedly the jury can abstract the personal information such as habits and acts which are beneficial for the jury to analyse one's personality and behaviour.

Secondly, as for the reason that it influences the judger's judgement proposed by the opponents, it is a conclusion worth of rethinking. Owing to a judgement result is made by the jury ultimately, so it is the jury's responsibility to make an objective judgement, but not the past record's responsibility. In other words, a jury should analyse a defendant's past material objectively. If he could not, then, it is him or other things should be responsible for the case.

In conclusion, I stand for the opinion that the jury should be authorized to fetch the defendant's materials freely, of course, with the prerequisite that they will never leak the individual's any information.

(289words)