Undergraduate / "Who am I?" - Common App Essay [28]

Please help me edit this draft. ANY sort of suggestion/critique/correction and help editing extraneous portions would be appreciated! Please tell me what you fell about the essay, does it fit the prompt well?

[b]Prompt:
#4. Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.

"Mum, are people only good or bad? Could they be something else?"

"Perhaps, but I'm not sure dear. Usually they are either good or bad."

As a child, I often wondered who I was. I certainly wasn't evil. However, I couldn't be good if I broke my best-friend's crayons, could I? What sort of a person was I then? My mother's response failed to resolve my innocent query. Eventually, these queries got piled up in the mound of the questions left unanswered.

Although I matured and left behind these childish doubts, growing up brought along with it, its own set of queries...
Was I an oddball for loving theatre and dance more than sports? Or was I a regular kid who had different interests?
Was I a grown up? Or was I still a child?
Was I a rebel for not listening to parents? Or was I a sheep for following rules otherwise?
There always seemed to be a hazy boundary between the two sides, leaving me confounded about the answer. Thus, the ultimate question remained - Who was I?

My need to belong somewhere led me to ask many questions. Therefore, I cultivated my reading to supplement my inquisitiveness. This led me to read Ayn Rand's work -'The Fountainhead', which finally managed to provide me with a definite answer.

The book narrates the story of struggling young architect, Howard Roark, in the United States in the 1920's and 1930's. Roark is an innovative genius who is always finds himself at odds with the society that perceives his work as deviations from conventional concepts. As a man of integrity he believes that a building, like the spirit of man, should be consistent and whole. Any incongruity is akin to defiling the spirit and its integrity. His refusal to conform his designs to traditional standards at the request of his clients leads him to lose many commissions.

Peter Keating, Roark's competitor, on the other hand is a successful architect. But he is mediocre in the absolute sense. Keating is not a creator; he merely gives the public what it wants. He has no ingenuity and borrows from other architects, including Roark, and sells out any standards he has ever held to achieve success and gain approval of people. Thus, Keating is a man of no integrity.

A major premise of the book revolves around drawing the difference between the Creator and the "Second-Hander". While a creator invents, innovates and drives humanity towards progress alone, a "second-hander" only scrounges. The "Second-Hander" is dependent on the approval of others. He does not invent, and lives off of other people's work. Rand draws this distinction through the stark comparison between the characters of Howard Roark and Peter Keating.

While reading the book the same question arose in my mind again. However, this time the question seemed to have turned itself around -

Who am I not?

I often found myself at a disagreement with the way the people perceive me. Since my interests and hobbies are different to a normal Indian kid I was deemed a non-conformist. My choice to pursue core Biology and not medical sciences or engineering was looked down upon. At times, it was difficult to hold my stance. However, the thought of giving up my convictions felt like an act of treason against myself. After reading 'The Fountainhead' I could draw a similarity between myself and the character of Howard Roark. His struggle against society and firm belief in his ideals personifies the internal turmoil I often experienced.

Whether it is my general disinterest in discussions about cars, bikes and sports, or my indifference towards people's judgemental eyes; people never deterred from questioning my choices and beliefs. When my convictions fail to satisfy them, uneasy looks are cast on me. The more I read the book, the more I questioned myself - giving rise to new doubts. I was fine being called an 'oddball', but I could not stand being uncertain about the genuineness of my choices. It is easy to pretend to like football to fit in, or do something irrespective of one's preferences - all this just to feel accepted. Had I been this way, there would have been no perceivable difference between Peter Keating and me. After all, I would merely fake the concept of uniqueness and shape myself in the way other wish to see me - just like a 'Second-Hander' would.

Thus, being a non-conformist becomes inconsequential if one's ideals and convictions are not justified. Hence, the concept of individuality loses its validity. 'The Fountainhead' like a mirror has allowed me to reflect on elements of my persona that I was uncertain about, and helped me plunge deeper into my psyche and question my beliefs. This has helped me to understand myself better. Now, when I see my reflection, I no longer observe a person unclear about the truthfulness of his convictions. Instead, I see the smiling visage of a person who has accepted himself the way he is.

So, again I ask myself:
"Who am I?"
- Definitely not a Second-Hander.

Undergraduate / Short essay response - Extracurricular Activity - "My Beautiful Windows" [5]

Topic:
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

I grab my notebooks, my dictionary and pack my bag. Then off I go! Every day, it's a new battle; I stumble upon new words and phrases and an entirely new way of looking at life. Learning a language is like starting to walk the first time - moving one step at a time, patiently yet inquisitively.

Newton said, "Light is a beam of particles" but Huygens said, "Light is a wave". Later, Einstein said "Light is both particle and wave". Our learning would have stagnated had we seen things through a singular perspective. Could I allow myself to view the world and experience it through a single window? Every time I comprehend a difficult, unfamiliar set of words or a text, I feel like an Explorer probing deeper into unknown realms. The more I keep learning, the more I provoke the Explorer within me to go further. And the treasure that awaits me is - a beautiful array of windows that will give me a panoramic outlook on life.

It's a little less than 1000 characters, so I guess word limit isn't the problem. Please tell me what you think of it. I'm open to suggestions and constructive criticism.

Thank for reading!! :)

Undergraduate / "A page from my diary - November 2062" - Jacobs University(Germany) Suppl. Essay [14]

Hi, guys!
I'm applying to Jacobs University in Bremen, Germany. This is the supplement essay that the required. Here's the topic :

Please fill the space below with something that you find especially interesting or important. This may be a written text, a drawing, a graphic or photographic image, a poem, a collage, or whatever you would like.

November 22, 2062

The streets were wider than I remember them to be, but the heavy flux of automated vehicles and pedestrians made the difference less profound. It had been a long time since I walked those roads...

We both kept walking; I could hardly keep up with his sporadically energetic gait.

"Are we there yet? You told me it was just a short walk. I really hungry!" he said.

I looked at him with amusement. It was an unusually cold winter evening, yet Anshuman behaved as though we were just at strolling by the beach while I was feeling as though the chill would freeze the air in my lungs! How I envy his youth and innocence.

I bought him a pack of M'n'M Mooncandies and we continued to walk. I wondered if it would still be there. It seemed like an eternity had passed since I had last seen the place. Everything about the place had changed. Empty plots and shaded, old bungalows had now given rise to commercial buildings. We took a turn and entered the older residential block. It was relatively unchanged as compared to the rest of the area. And then I saw it, just the same as it had been. The building brought a feeling of nostalgia and reminded me of some very pleasant memories I had there.

"Is this the place you told me about Granpa?" asked Anshuman.

Yes, it was. After so many years, returning to that place was like making a pilgrimage. It was my dance school - the place that formed a focal part of my life while growing up.

"It looks so old! What do they do here now?" he questioned and broke my trance.

I wondered the same, but did it matter? It is irrelevant for what purpose the building is used now. But to me, it still is my dance school. I can still recall all the times I hurt myself trying to learn and perfect endless number of complex dance routines; the times my teacher scolded me for being late for recital practices; the invaluable friendships I cultivated there; the instances of stress when I earnestly looked forward to spending time at the studio to soothe my mind and all the little moments of joy that made growing up a much more pleasant experience for me. Even in moments of despair, it was the only place I found solace and hope.

There are some things in life that are transitory and go by without making a difference to us, but then there are some that alter our lives and define us as people. The six years I spent in the dance school have been one of the defining phases of my life. It was the place that taught me to love to dance and to live through my dance. Emotion is the thing that separates dance from movement and this was where I learnt to communicate in a way that transcends mere words. In the confines of the studio my spirit defied the rules of gravity and space. It drove my body across the room and allowed me to achieve much through my dance and brought me unsurpassable joy.

But most importantly, it wasn't just within the periphery of this building that I learnt to let myself be uninhibited. Dance itself allowed me to effuse the joy I felt while dancing to all aspects of my life. Just like stumbling, falling and injuries are part of being a dancer, setbacks and adversities are a part of life. Only through dance could I correlate such concepts and work to achieve positive results. Dancing gave me much more than happiness; it taught me to be disciplined, to be persevering, to believe in myself and more importantly to love something passionately. Even though it has been about fifty years since I last danced in my dance school, all the fond memories I gained there are as vivid as a palette full of vibrant colours...

"Granpa! You've been staring at the building for more than 10 minutes! Are you alright?!" Anshuman said, looking at me with his curious eyes.

"Sorry dear, I was just recalling some memories. It's been so long."

"Did you have fun here?"

"More than just fun my child. It's something that I will cherish all my life."

"I find it hard to imagine you could dance! You've always been so old and had white hair!"

"Who said I'm old? You think I can't race you home?"

"Are you kidding me?" asked Anshuman with surprise.

"Try to beat me if you can!"

And we both walked on....

Thank you for reading, I'm going to add a small picture collage after the essay.
What do think about the idea? I am open to any suggestions. Does it fit the topic? Please correct me on grammar wherever required and if there is something excess ofr unnecessary please help me edit it. :) THANKS again!

Undergraduate / Intellectual vitality / Roommate / Good place - My Stanford Essays - 250 words [4]

Prompt 1 : Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

If I could talk everything about something that excites me intellectually, a box with an 1800 character limit would be like trying to hold all the water falling down the Niagara Falls in one minute in a bathtub.

If I must, I would go on rambling about how my mind drifts away in a world of its own when posed questions about life on Earth.

How did life come here? How did Earth become the perfect mixture of conditions necessary for life? Was it mere chance or was it designed? If it was mere chance then are we the only ones in the Universe? If not, is the theory about 'Intelligent Design' a plausible explanation to the unknown appearance and development of life on Earth? Could it be possible that life exists elsewhere beyond the safe niches of Earth?

Questions like these and more endlessly gnaw at my brain. Sometimes I find it difficult to utilize my time on the internet wisely because I squander off to find possible means to find answer my questions. However, these questions give me more than mere food for thought. They challenge on various levels - as a philosopher, a dreamer and as an aspiring biologist. If I could get answers to my questions without rummaging my brain, it would be too mundane. These questions make me want to work harder. They keep me going. In Einstein's words - "He, who no longer pauses to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead".

Prompt 2: Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.

Hello future roommate,

It is strange to look at a blank box to fill it with information for a person I am yet to meet.
I am a Maharashtrian, born in South India, and raised all over India. Due to my father's transferable job I found myself moving state to state, calling each place my home. Although tiresome, the nomadic start to my early life helped me adapt to a number of environments in my own country. Different languages, different food, different festivals but one culture, helped me obtain clarity in being part of a country which is a tapestry of innumerable varied traditions.

However, living in a cosmopolitan city has broadened my outlook and I have learnt to mould myself into any possible situation or scenario that is outside my comfort zone. It has allowed me to further cultivate my tastes to a world beyond my immediate surroundings. Although, it seemed odd to many people to find Argentine tango composer Astor Piazzolla's masterpieces in the same playlist as Lady Gaga's eccentric music, put together with a bunch of Korean pop songs(I don't understand Korean; isn't music a language itself?)

Raised with strong family bonds, it took me great amount of courage to step outside the comfort of my family and consider education in the United States. I look forward to this as a fortifying and enriching experience that will make me a better person.

Anyway, be sure to keep your chocolates stacked away from me if possible.

Prompt 3 : Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you.

I am not a person with limited interests. It was never difficult for me to cope with the rigors of the science curriculum yet be an active part of the school theater and dance community or participate in various poetry or debating events. To me education is not just about mere learning; it's about a holistic approach that allows a person to find many interests without stereotyping himself to a particular group; while also helping the individual to harness a deep and extensive understanding of his intended field of study. Unfortunately, my high school failed to give me this.

At Stanford, I feel I shall be awarded with ample opportunities to become part of the holistic learning experience and imbibe from it. I see myself exploring the School of Humanities and Sciences not just to cultivate my deep interest in Biology but also make an attempt to probe my talent in the Drama and Dance departments. I look forward to the prospects of meeting Professor William Gilly and learning from the 'Holistic Biology' course. Maybe a research or leaning prospect at the Hopkin's Marine Station would make my experience at Stanford all the more enriching.

Stanford is the perfect platform for me to challenge myself and achieve my maximum potential. I look forward to becoming a part of the diverse Californian community that Stanford is a part of. Hopefully make a place and home in it whilst also earning a name for myself and becoming an individual with greater understanding of the world.

Thanks so much for reading! Please leave a comment and tell me what you think about the essays! :-)

Were they interesting?

Undergraduate / "Yes, I am an idiot.." - My Common App Essay ( Fictional Character) [6]

Hey guys, I am really unsure about this essay. PLEASE help me by telling me what you feel about it. Leave a comment... :)

Being part of the Indian Society can be a little difficult for students and more difficult if one belongs to an average middle class family. When stakes are high and competition is stiff, most parents expect nothing but good grades and top performance from their children. Unfortunately, the Indian education system is designed in a way that it leaves little scope for a student to have ample leisure time or an opportunity to explore their options and provides maximum stress.

While growing up in this same society I was asked a countless number of times, "What do you want to become?" and "Where do you want to work when you grow up?" I never seemed to come up with a satisfying answer. I always stumbled to find words; not because I did have any convictions or goals but I was bemused over the fact that people who were not certain of what would happen in the coming few days would stressed so much about knowing what I wanted to become twenty years later. This peculiar adult idiosyncrasy was beyond my understanding. This was precisely where I was at a great loss.

By the end of tenth grade, almost everyone around me had some idea of what they were heading towards. The same friends I spent so much of my time, had decided what they wanted to do and study. The doors were closing in on me and time was running out. I had to choose. After weeks of thinking and discussion with my parents, I let my parents choose for me. Yes, a seemingly simple but grave mistake.

My parents enrolled me in a pre-college engineering prep class. I did fine for a few months. But eventually, it became toxic for me. I did not enjoy studying what my parents chose. Hence, I spent the next couple of my crucial high school months wallowing with the guilt of having chosen something I did not like and letting my parents down. I was trapped. Then through the dark clouds of despair came my savior - maybe not as dramatically but yes almost close.

It was the cold and drab winter of my junior year, which to my surprise was complementing the nature of my rather bleak mood patterns at that time. My cousins wanted to watch a movie. So we decided on watching '3 Idiots'. It was then I met Rancho, the film's protagonist. Rancho is definitely a great sobriquet to the ridiculously long name - 'Ranchoddas Shyamaldas Chanchad'. But like the simplified version of his name, Rancho's outlook towards life was just as forthright and uncomplicated. His genuine and free-spirited nature appealed to me greatly. Yes, Rancho inspired me.

According to Rancho, if you love something, chances are that you will do the best in it without doubt. Life on screen is definitely all sugar-coated and candy floss especially if it's a corny Bollywood movie. But it was the message that Rancho passed on made it absolutely beautiful. I had wasted months trying to talk myself into doing something I never enjoyed. The guilt of letting my parents down was enormous. The fact that it was my fault for not taking a stance made it worse. Rancho helped me overcome all. A free spirited individual, Rancho was driven by the passion to learn. He loved innovation and invention. His simplistic and novel approach seemed deviant from all conventional norms. Hence, many skeptic people around him called him an 'Idiot'. But the sly comments did not mar him down. He was proud to be an 'Idiot'.

So I realized that all this while I had made my own life so difficult. It was because I was afraid to choose. Doing something I did not enjoy, I came to my senses and moved a step closer to finding something that I had always loved - Biology. Why was it difficult for me to make a simple decision earlier? Well, should I blame the Indian society for this? Or should I put the blame on my parents? Or just the frizzled mixture of hormones that impaired me reasoning? I cannot put the blame on either. Through Rancho's vision I learnt that it is best to choose something in which you can best invest your time and energy, no matter how great or small the returns. I would like to quote him here - "Pursue excellence and success will fall at your feet".

It requires great amount of courage to stand up to your own decisions and convictions. Everything seems easy when you're the part of the crowd as a follower. Because things have already been explored and paths have already been discovered. One does not require extra effort to venture out and find new routes. These are the perks of being a follower. But on the other hand, competition is greater and resources are limited in such areas. It was Rancho who made me aware that it is not stupid to stray away from the herd if that's where my happiness lay. Rancho made me bolder to stand up to my convictions. He helped gain courage to face my parents and tell them that I wished to do something different. He helped me to think freely. He made me realize that I can choose to view my world in two ways - one, as the rest of the world sees it and the other, as I see it.

In retrospect I would add that all of us have a bit of Rancho in us. All of us want to be free and uninhibited. All of us desire to do something we love. Why do we forget that as children we wished to astronomers, paleontologists, painters or writers? As we grew up society made us weigh the pros and cons of every single action we took. We became more rational and tended to choose things that gave us the best returns. Rancho helped me get rid of these stereotyped beliefs.

So all we need is a little push, to bring out the little Rancho in us. I have grown into a more sensible, motivated and confident person since the previous winter. I have realized my mistakes and have tried my best to learn from them. And all credit goes to Rancho for opening my eyes. I wish I could say someone as great as Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi or Mother Teresa influenced me. But I can't. It was Rancho who pulled me out from the bleak void. I now approach life and other things with greater zest and courage. And if this makes me an 'Idiot', I don't mind being called one.

THANKS FOR READING!! =)
Was it anywhere near interesting to read?