Undergraduate /
My reality after my best friend committed suicide; Common App/ Significant Influence [18]
The essay prompt is: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
I will appreciate any help and comments. Thank you. (This is really urgent)
My reality after my best friend committed suicide was cruel from a lack of information. I didn't know why. I didn't know where. But I was convinced he was gone.
I'll say first thing that he survived, miraculously with only a broken arm. But this story is focused on the three days after his attempt, when I was oblivious to his vitality. Curiously, it never crossed my mind that he wasn't dead. I don't know why I was so certain but it was this morbid conviction that led me to wholeheartedly mourn and reflect.
I thought about the time of my grandfather's passing and how the words and tears flowed but he was perfectly silent, brimming with compassion and comfort. I thought of him finally telling me that the reason he never celebrated his birthday was because it was the day his grandmother passed away. I ran through all the conversation that took place on the roof of my house this summer. I ran through all the conversations that ever took place. In fact, I combed through the contents of every single day since the first day I met him.
My reward for working through this painful process was of course more pain, sadness because I still didn't know why, but most horrifyingly, an overwhelming sense of regret because I realized that all these years, I had never told him how much he meant to me. There was the occasional "thank you" and "you're the best", but even these are rare pleasantries, as it seems that niceties have an inverse relationship to a growing friendship. Thus disregarding the hasty and the superficial, I had never really expressed my gratitude. Believing him gone, the thought of this haunted me because I realized we were always too busy. Busy to the point I never could even find a moment to tell him he meant the world to me. Chilling irony shrouded me like a mist, a constant reminder that it was too late now.
Those three days really felt like three eternities. By the first, I had decided that I would never let something like this happen again. And by the third, I swore I would make sure to find time every single day to tell the people I care about how much they mean to me. This was the conviction I reached as my third eternity ended, and on the fourth day, I was given my miracle.
He didn't die but I did keep my promise. From that day on, I have told him, my family and all my other friends that I love and appreciate them everyday. I intend to do so for as long as I live because never again do I want to regret words unspoken.