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Posts by sinchana2017 [Suspended]
Name: Sinchana
Joined: Feb 13, 2017
Last Post: Feb 15, 2017
Threads: 7
Posts: 18  
From: India
School: IELTS

Displayed posts: 25
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sinchana2017   
Feb 13, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: The gap between rich and poor is growing. What problem does this create? [3]

The gap between rich and poor is growing. What problem does this create? What can be done to tackle them?

Lowering the financial abyss between rich and poor



With the growing population, the gap between rich people and poor people is steadily increasing. This trend could be ascribed to a few reasons, and definite actions must be taken to reduce the gap between rich and poor people.

There are evident reasons as to why the gap between the high and low standard of people is rising drastically. The most prominent reason is the unavailability of education to people who are below poverty line. The focus of the world is shifting towards creating a global village which is highly beneficial for people in developing and developed countries, which doesn't have the major benefit of underdeveloped countries. Despite this, the mindset of poor people acts as a trigger for this wide differentiation as they won't understand the necessity of education and doesn't promote their offsprings to learn academics.

To boost the economy of underdeveloped countries which in turn reduce the gap between richer and poorer nations, we have to devise some definitive plans. The action point should include offering basic education to everyone along with this there should be some kind of schemes for prospective students who are willing to pursue higher education. Furthermore, world organization should take measures in boosting the economy of underdeveloped countries and help them to grow financially. One such example is the act passed by United Nations in maintaining the peace and prosperity of Syria by imposing mandatory education for everyone in the country and providing financial aids.

In conclusion, I believe that the aforementioned measures can create more peaceful communities and ensure the gap between rich and poor people is minimized.
sinchana2017   
Feb 13, 2017
Writing Feedback / E books versus paper books. Cause and effects. [7]

More and More people prefer to read e-books rather than paper books. What are the reasons for this? What problems this can cause for libraries?

electronic or real books?



With the prolific advancements in technology, there are a number of gadgets which replace the paper books and provide online books to the reader. I would discuss several precursors to this issue, such as readability provided by e-books, followed by the adverse effect of e-books on libraries.

There are evident reasons as to why the paper books on the shelves are replaced by the e-books. First and foremost, the ease of e-books provides more flexibility and wider options to the e-reader. Furthermore, the e-books look similar to any other books which can hold 100s of books in its electronic device. A good example is a survey conducted in 2015 to draw the comparison between e-books and paper books. The result reveals that more than 60 % of the respondents are in favor of e-books, and consists of a higher percentage of elderly people, who are more comfortable with e-books as they can zoom the letters while reading which is highly beneficial. Another prime reason is the accessibility of books at the touch of a button through the internet which reduces the boredom of visiting shops and purchasing the books.

However, the outrageous advantage of e-books is having a negative impact on libraries. This can be attributed to the popularity of e-books which are attracting many readers and in turn leave the libraries empty. Even though, this kind of situation prevails there are some people who are comfortable and prefer to read only paper books for the look and feel it provides. Furthermore, there are some historical books which are not available over the internet and can be found only in the libraries which still hold the prime focus of old libraries. In Canada, after the advancement of e-books, some libraries lost the visibility and forced to shut down, while old libraries which exist from ages still have a great importance.

All in all, e-books have proved to be exceedingly important in this modern world, however, libraries which persist from ages still have its enormous significance.
sinchana2017   
Feb 13, 2017
Writing Feedback / E books versus paper books. Cause and effects. [7]

@Holt
Thanks a lot for your constructive feedback.
I was not aware of these many days what mistake I was encountering while writing an essay. I have attempted IELTS couple of times and always failed to achieve band 7 in IELTS writing. Somehow I found this site which is really helpful. I have 15 more days for my exam and hope I will correct my mistake within this timeframe and clear my exam this time.
sinchana2017   
Feb 13, 2017
Writing Feedback / E books versus paper books. Cause and effects. [7]

@Holt,
Sure. I will follow all your instructions.
I will also post my other essays which I have already written, along with this I will make sure that I will write 3 essays per day without fail.

I will not quit Holt and thanks a lot for giving me the confidence and helping hand.
sinchana2017   
Feb 13, 2017
Writing Feedback / Essay - healthy lifestyle of individuals. Discuss both sides and give opinion [4]

Some people think government should take measures on healthy lifestyle of individuals, Few others think it must be managed by each individual responsibility. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

bad habits equal bad health



Over the last few decades, the food habits have changed vigorously. Some people believe that government should implement measures for a healthy lifestyle, while others think individuals must take the necessary measurements. In my view, I have a mixed opinion and believe that both government and individuals should go hand in hand in helping individuals to maintain a healthy diet.

On one hand, few people are of opinion that individuals are of prime importance in ensuring their lifestyle and healthy food habits. The unhealthy eating patterns have triggered issues such as obesity, diabetes et cetera which seek immediate attention. So individuals should consult doctors and come up with a chart for their diet and implement it without fail. Along with this, it is crucial to do some kind of physical activity which keeps everyone healthy and fit. Including nutrient rich food in our diet definitely have paramount importance in maintaining a balanced died.

On the flip side, a government should actively involve in helping citizens of their country to maintain a healthy lifestyle. This can be accomplished by arranging campaigns about what makes a healthy lifestyle and importance of it. In addition, a government can levy high taxes on fast foods which are having an adverse effect on humans' health. Alongside, a government can arrange for free physical activity classes which are indeed essential to everyone. In western countries, the sessions pertaining to physical activity are organised by the government for free of cost.

Healthy lifestyle is the key to successful life which has to be achieved by everyone. In conclusion, I assert that both government and individuals should thrive to create a healthy environment which in turn promotes healthy lifestyle.
sinchana2017   
Feb 13, 2017
Writing Feedback / Today's kids ailments same like among adults. The example - obesity. [12]

Some bad habits and new lifestyle cause this problem. I have some suggestions about this problem.
I think it is better to combine above sentence and make one compound sentence.
One such example for problem and solution essay would be : I would discuss several precursors to this issue, before some viable measures are drawn.
sinchana2017   
Feb 14, 2017
Writing Feedback / Minimizing the traffic issue - proposed ways [7]

Please find few grammatical errors

Firstly, the government should
many small and unaccessible inaccessible
Then, the way to limit their needs are seem seemedimpossible to be done.

Hope it helps
sinchana2017   
Feb 14, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: The choice of subject between girls and boys [3]

In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subject ( such as literature ), and boys tends to choose science subjects ( i.e. physics) . Why do you think this is so ? Should this tendency be changed.

disparity between both genders with choosing a school subject



Many universities have witnessed a difference in choice of suject preference between girls and boys. The observation is, girls are keen on choosing arts subjects such as literature, whereas boys tend to choose science subject like physics. This trend could be ascribed to the gender-specific differences, which does not require any assistance or change in its pattern.

On one hand, the top-tier institutions have shown the differences in subject preference between two genders. This can be attributed to the behaviour, attitude, and choice of individuals while selecting the major subject in universities. Girls tend to have a great deal of interest in learning logical reasoning, analytical skills, collecting information and writing clearly and coherently. Whereas, guys have shown enthusiasm in competitive exams, medicine, research and engineering courses. This is clearly a matter of choice and preference between two genders.

In my view, I do not think the tendency of choosing what inspires student should be altered. This is because, if chosen a subject of others choice or due to parents pressure, Juveniles will not enjoy their studies. In this 21st century, each and every person should be given the chance to select what they like and allow students to pursue what motivates them. A good illustration is the biography of M S Dhoni, who claims his parents helped him to identify his hidden talent and nurtured his abilities, which in turn molded Dhoni and he could succeed in adding his name to the list of top 10 cricketers.

In conclusion, the great disparity between choosing a subject in universities can be a matter of pure choice between girls and boys. However, it is advisable to allow and promote individuals to select a subject which is in accordance with their choice, which in turn helps them to enjoy their professional career.
sinchana2017   
Feb 14, 2017
Writing Feedback / E books versus paper books. Cause and effects. [7]

@akbarmappiare
Thanks for your detailed explanation on making me understand about my mistakes.
Will work on these things and try to produce a better piece of essay.

Thanks & Regards,
Sinchana
sinchana2017   
Feb 14, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Progress of mankind in recent years [4]

100 years ago people thought that the human race was steadily making progress in all areas of life. Nowadays, there is less certainity that it is so. In what areas do you think the most important progress have been made so far ? In what areas are more things needed to be done ?

Human's growth in all fields related to life



Over the last ten decades, humans have shown a steady growth in all fields related to life. However, it is observed that nowadays the invention by mankind in areas of life has reached a stagnant stage. The most intriguing inventions of this era are in the field of healthcare and technology. However, we need to take special measures and work on deriving methods to reduce global warming and pollution which are pressing issues.

To begin with, there are numerous innovations in all areas of life which contribute to a better life expectancy of mankind. First and foremost, medical inventions have shown extraordinary results in addressing the epidemic diseases suffered by humanbeings from ages. Malaria is the prime example which has been treated from grass root level. In addition, the research in the field of technology is highly valuable. With the technological improvements, the communication between people around the world is at the touch of a button and these improvements device some real benefits to the whole world. For example, with the introduction of the internet, skype and facebook people who are miles apart can communicate within a fraction of a second.

Nevertheless, there are fields which has been neglected by humans from quite sometime, which require immediate attention now. The most prominent issues that threaten human race are Global warming and pollution. Humans are indulged in deforestation and polluting the environment by burning fossil fuels which have a devastating effect on the whole world. In order to make the world livable, we need plant more trees and come up with action plans for reducing the pollution which in turn results in reducing the global warming.

All in all, human beings have shown exceeding improvements in all areas of life which helps us to stay healthy and explore more around the world. Despite this, the improvements in addressing the problems such as population and global warming are not considerable to the great extent.
sinchana2017   
Feb 14, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Parenting course program for young parents [5]

New parents should attend a parenting course to learn how to bring up their children well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

One more useless 'correction' from you = account suspension

preparation for motherhood/fatherhood



Parenthood is the most beautiful phase of life which requires a lot of patience. In order to help new parents to nurture their toddlers, it is advisable to join a parenting course to get the know-how on raising kids. I am of the mixed opinion that enrolling oneself into parenting course will be helpful, whereas it is unrealistic to make sure everyone will join these courses.

On one hand, these type of courses is required for couples who are staying away from their parents and doesn't have experience of handling kids. Despite this, parenting courses also offer practical reasoning of some trivial methods which are used by our ancestors. For example, when a toddler is having running nose, elders prefer to give a soup of black pepper, ginger et cetera. We might not know the exact purpose behind these things which will get clarified and addressed in the parenting courses. In addition, attending parenting course bring an extraordinary confidence in seeing ourself in foreseeable future as successive parents.

On the flip side, parenting course is not worth for group families. This is because group family normally consists of elders who have immense experience in handling kids and taking care of them right from their birth. Furthermore, expecting all parents to attend these type of course is impractical as everyone might not have the budget to spend money on these courses. A good illustration is people who are living in below poverty line suffer to get basic needs for their livelihood who will be least bothered about these courses.

All in all, parenting is the most critical phase where parents should take utmost care of kids and guide them in right direction and mold them to become better citizens. In my view, though parenting course brings a lot of support and confidence to young parents, it is not required by few people who are gifted with join family and people who are running on tight budgets.
sinchana2017   
Feb 15, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Presentation skills. Do you think public speaking skill is really important? [3]

People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skill is really important? Give reasons.

the qualities of oration



It has been observed that few people face difficulties to deliver a speech or to give a demo in public. In my view, it is very much essential to master the qualities of oration. This is because enhancing these skills provide a great deal of confidence to an individual.

To begin with, there are plenty of reasons to illustrate the benefits of giving a presentation in public. First and foremost, individuals who can face the world without shy and hindrance are good at handling things with confidence. In other words, people who can clearly express their ideas and make others understand are bound to achieve success. A good illustration is the life history of Dr. Mukesh Batra, who is the founder of Dr. Batra's Group of Medicine. He started off his journey into the field of medicine and brought his company to the international level in a couple of 20 years. In his biography people have shared his qualities of leadership which were the key to his great success, this reveals that having a quality of addressing audience can act as the key to success.

In addition, university education includes pursuing internship and projects in the final year of the course. As a part of this, students are supposed to prepare a presentation to brief their project work in front of lecturers and students. Even though, a student has prepared an excellent presentation, without proper narration skills it is indeed difficult to get a higher band. Universities are giving a lot of stress on these skills and some universities are arranging weekend classes on soft skills which are highly beneficial for students. Thus presentation skills give more exposure for Juveniles and help them to express their ideas clearly.

All in all, communication skill is one of the main soft skills which add flavors to one's professional career. People pursuing these skills are in high demand, who can be appraised and appreciated with some perks.
sinchana2017   
Feb 15, 2017
Undergraduate / Personal insight questions for applying schools. [4]

Please find few grammatical errors.

Every students here have sad stories
punish them probably because she feels her hard work didn't pay off.

Hope it helps
sinchana2017   
Feb 15, 2017
Writing Feedback / To purchase either a house or a business is the question [8]

Hi Norah,

Even I am in the same boat. This forum is really good, we can definitely improve our English.
In the formal essay, we are not supposed to use contractions.

My daughter don't do not have much space for playing

Thanks,
Sinchana
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