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Posts by Peaches07
Name: Patience Patrick
Joined: Feb 23, 2017
Last Post: Mar 8, 2017
Threads: 5
Posts: 20  
From: Nigeria
School: ACCA

Displayed posts: 25
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Peaches07   
Feb 24, 2017
Scholarship / Course of life, view of life, study background, hopes and wishes, education and work experience [6]

I get basic knowledge about management, finance and accounting ...

How about writing the above as;
From my parents, I acquired basic knowledge on management, accounting, and finance and wished to one day become a finance manager.

And this paragraph this
To make my dream come true, I have completed Bachelor ...
This way
I took a step to achieve my dream having graduated in 2014, with a Bachelor degree in Business Administration. This great achievement has given me a clearer view of my skills, weaknesses, being able to understand, analyze and solve problems. My skills and enthusiasm is now an intrigue. My wish is to major in accounting, and become a professional auditor who can contribute to the development of Bangladesh economic.

@Silver92, I am also applying for a program via the KGSP and so would like to wish you luck. Who knows hopefully we will see in Korea
Peaches07   
Feb 25, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1 - describe the changes of an island before and after it turned to a resort [6]

@thien_my
I love the topic for discussion sounds good and your write up good but also brief.
There are some essay write up on IELTS in the thread. Type IELTS and threads on the topic would come up for you to look through that will aid your own write up. Important summary I have been told should point back to the topic of discussion and recapture the reader's mind. Hopefully this helps!
Peaches07   
Feb 25, 2017
Poetry / Corruption, Corruption, and more Corruption or Injustice [4]

Hi,
This is a state of a nation poem!
I have had a go at it knowing I am a learner still.
I appreciate and thank the house in advance for its opinion and voice
Many thanks!!

Corruption, Corruption, and more Corruption or Injustice



My current state began as I chose to become a leader for my nation!
The anticipation, excitement, and anxiety visible
The voters determined yet asking
A deprived populace in need
Instigated by mortification
The youths clamoring for new beginnings
Demanded a political leader
So change beckoned;

To write wrought of the nation and its citizens
The leader made promises
The lyrics plausible the nation glaring;
In this dry and thirsty land, the song was like a water so he yielded
Forgetting that a person who gives in to evil is like a polluted spring
These empty promises he has since denied, she cries 'oh more corruption'

A year on, the nation's story is akin to a bird;
A political leader who plugged and still plugs at the feathers of live birds,
He made a point thus;
They birds once released was in pain, who would not!?
Still, they followed
Because their thought process was saying he feeds me.
Does she not have a choice??
A shout can be heard even from a far
Yet she fears her injustice cry may not be heard

Does this state really reflect the injustice she faces today!?
She now have these facts to chew on
Or the irony which says "the previous administration blossomed like never seen".

If only he becomes a leader who reframes from blaming past events he can not now control.
For only legitimacy problems have arisen,
Interpreted as having no power,
In a crisis, she is weak!
She can not back down on a crisis,
but rather see the crisis as a challenge as opposed to failures,
It would push the nation and her people to strive harder she hopes!

For now, her citizens are silent,
Still, they are heard thinking; the previous administration was more corrupt and wasteful.
She knows tomorrow is pregnant
She becoming adamant to her pain,
In groans"no country leader, is right 100 percent of the time,"
Ohh how rooms are furnished with valuable, beautiful things where there is knowledge,
For in the quietness of her heart, the unspoken is heard,
The unsearchable knowable

For a great leader is one who responds to issues, and situations quickly.
In the leader she elected she for yearns for;
Executives to execute great plans for her
Solution provider, not complainant
She says before the change mantra If she saw corruption she still sees today

She admires her nation so much she overlooks the corruptions however dreamily
She appreciates and would have yesterday
To some extent, she lived simply
It was a nation she knew, believed in and felt she could dream in!!!

For the uncertainty she faces today,
Every second, minute, hour and day she asks one last question
Where was I before?
Where I'm I now??
And where I'm I headed???
Peaches07   
Feb 25, 2017
Poetry / Corruption, Corruption, and more Corruption or Injustice [4]

@Holt
Thanks once again,
hehehe @ rushed worked. Yes I did
I have since edited. I would welcome areas or paragraphs I could cut down as the word limit is at 800word and I feel its too long

Corruption, Corruption, and more Corruption or Injustice

Their lives were corrupted by lies,
Their hearts are torn by the hand of corruption
My people determined yet asking
Of whom should they put their trust!?
Certainly, not the previous corrupt minds
For they were corrupt and wasteful

A deprived populace in need
Instigated by mortification
The youths clamoring for new beginnings
Of my people I asked
Why must you marry?
A marriage of convenience in the absence of true love it ended
Adieu to corruption, though far from the truth
They demanded a new political leader
So change the name I called myself beckoned;

As a leader, I asked, why are you so corrupt?
Write wrought of the nation
A painful cry I heard
So I became my people's leader
I also made promises
For the lyrics was plausible the nation glaring;
In this dry and thirsty land, the song was like a water so I yielded
Forgetting that a person who gives in to evil is like a polluted spring
In my defense, the kept complaining
My people's undoing
If my actions were based on good intentions then I have no regret

Though they should have known I was weak,
Weak in old age and now sick I must take care of myself first before my people's affairs
Does this justify me a great leader??
Certainly not, because still torn my people cry 'oh more corruption'
For I have since denied the empty promises I made

By so doing I became corruption by name
My people humming
Now my people's current state is akin to a bird;

A political leader who plugged and still plugs at the feathers of his people,
I must now make my point to my people thus;
The previous leader allowed you freedom
Yet my you cried you were in pain ~ democracy their response
Now without intending, or who knows
My thoughts only I have access to
A featherless bird I released you but in pain, who would not!?
Still, you follow me
What thou seeketh??
You say you have no choice???
The shout can be heard even from a far
Yet you fear your injustice cry may not be heard

Thinking out loud my people asks themselves;
Do we really have only this injustice to reflect in our current state!?

In my leadership, the nation overlooks the corruption
My people's admiration for her nation impeccable however dreamily
My people appreciates and would have yesterday
For in the quietness of their heart,
The unspoken is heard,
The unsearchable knowable

They did not need to say it for as their leader to some extent, knew my people lived simply before I came
No matter the corruption, my people dreamt and lived their dreams!!!
I know the nation, I, myself corrupt!!!
I know my people and my people know me
Now they dare say to me her leader, the change mantra,
True they respond before you came we saw corruption still today we see it
They tell me where they saw corruption before they still see and begs
The irony which says "the previous LEADER blossomed like never seen"

For would I question myself???
Only the have these facts to chew on
As a leader, I can not be seen backing down in a crisis
Then they would of me "a weak man in a crisis, is weak indeed!
I must stay to fight the corruption I was chosen to fight against for my people

Even when old and sickness would not leave me alone
For the uncertainty, my people face today, myself corrupt
Every second, minute, hour and day they look and ask one last question
Where is the leader of yesterday?
Where is the leader of today??
'Here I am' a leader's answer!

For a pregnant tomorrow, my people have locked their hearts away to,
I am a leader
The Remnant of my lies
For my people who yearn for a great leader say I am corruption
They keep complaining
Corruption, corruption, and more corruption or injustice
Oh how, I stand tall, loud and proud in this open land of corruption
I heard their thinking; the previous administration was more corrupt and wasteful so I came.
Adamant in pain,
In groans"no country leader, is right 100 percent of the time,"
How rooms are furnished with valuable, beautiful things where there is knowledge.

For my people who see their current corrupt state as a challenge as opposed to failures should I become a great leader?
Reframing from blaming past events I can not now control
For only legitimacy problems have arisen,
My people interpreting that I have no power,
At the top of their voice, they have screamed a leader weak in a crisis, is weak indeed!
Harder and harder, my people push to strive against corruption!
I am that step of strive
Yet, voices crying corruption, corruption, and more corruption or injustice unceasing
Peaches07   
Feb 26, 2017
Scholarship / A renewable energy - essay for study plan KGSP, department of energy engineering [11]

My bachelor degree in Chemistry has prepared me ...

Hi Nana,
On the above, you could say;

My completed degree predicate, me highly satisfactory. And I believe I am well equipped to perform well in this program.
(This affirms squarely on the Scholarship you are applying for )

Many best of luck!
Peaches07   
Feb 26, 2017
Poetry / Nepotism - A football match/game [6]

@Holt,

This may come as a surprise to you but I did this so easily. Just like you said it would be if what one does align with one's passion

Though not an expert yet I am sure

Thanks

Please, I would love opinions on my footy Nepotism Poem. Words is 395

Nepotism - A football match
One team to another



Why am I likened to a football match!?

Because that is your only shot on target
Nepotism
Spot on, if the cap fits
But today's shot is tame
It went out wide and did the team no good

It is said all the time 'What a great work rate nepotism has'
Always gives the game everything his tank has

A step nepotism took before
But can not find a way so
Today another step
Nepotism to the other team
It should be to you an important lesson for the tomorrow that is unknown

For nepotism is now called merely
Hear this today
Our team is called nepotism
Sometimes one can not defend against it

Stats warned them
But nepotism says equalize we go on to win the game
And we are free of nepotism
The neighboring team thinking 'Success can barely stand out there
It did not stop nepotism

Because nepotism had already been given the free - kick
Appealing for a penalty, the referee awards the free - kick the other way
The free - kick came to nothing/a right mess

Still lamenting? emerge from the other end and team
That was the team's best opportunity
Maybe they might have won
But it is not just going their way today
The decisions even for their best players!
Still sad??
Okay, let us see what you have got

Second half and still no sign of a winning goal
For the waited and waited then
What thou are waiting for???

The reply a murmur but audible
A chance to be rid of nepotism
ahh the wait has been long
Has it been?????

For the football match that is never ending
'Never say never'
To nepotism

And the table?
The neighbor way in front
As it stands, nepotism on top of the world!
The footballing and sporting world waiting for nepotism
Players also waiting and their managers

Baked, victory will ensue soon
For the other team
The aim is to lift the trophy
The table showing it to nepotism

Some teams can not mathematically retain its title of yesterday!!
For nepotism do not care that the losing team was on top of the world
Highly qualified too

You call me nepotism and I oblige and
Would hold my victory cup high for you to see
Crying 'Ohh nepotism'!!!
Peaches07   
Feb 26, 2017
Scholarship / Born and raised in Banjarmasin, Indonesia. My dream for KGSP [20]

@Rayoung
Hwaiting as the Koreans would say!
Be encouraged taking on board the suggestions given.
Having not written any essay as you pointed out is notable through your work but redo-able. If I can suggest. there are some free grammars apps you can serach and use so your work can be improved!
Peaches07   
Feb 27, 2017
Poetry / Nepotism - A football match/game [6]

@Holt
Hi

Sorry for making the same mistakes when you have been a good teacher. Actually, I do not write on Grammarly. I just copy and paste my work for grammar checks and correction. But I get a did not do a good job chosen nepotism as a game and then again missing my voice. I will keep trying to improve myself. For your advice is encouraging me and many others. Thank you!

Nepotism - A football match/game

Divided we fall, United we stand


Nepotism and favoring is the status quo
The time for one side to enjoy the rain
Nepotism favoring one side means I sit at the other side
Cursing and envious in pain

By so my heart on my sleeves I wear nepotism
The cry of injustice for all to see
Should I get a chance too?
If it were about skills and experience I have it
But it is about who you know

You too were given a chance to ascend
My glares says it all but
Not surprised nepotism is adamant
Hatred is now my skills and I must be careful so
I would not fall

For nepotism is a fertilizer for evil and
If I am not careful I may flat on my face to the ground

For humanity sake,
I wish for One nation, one people
But if this family can together see
Then let us be

Now enemies of each other
Can we really not mend our difference?
For our children and the tomorrow unknown
We may have a need for each other, too

Unity and Faith, Peace and Progress
Our nation's coat of arms
A grassy field proper, the yellow flowers at the base (incorrectly shown as red in the image) are Costus Spectabilis
National flower included
Found all over the and also stand for the beauty of the nation
Peaches07   
Feb 27, 2017
Poetry / Nepotism - A football match/game [6]

@Holt

All I can say is that I am grateful, for you taking the time and effort to help us through our work. I appreciate, Thank you

I will do take heed of your advice.

And for my KGSP essay coming I hope, pray it will show through.
Peaches07   
Feb 28, 2017
Writing Feedback / Problem/Solution essay Causes of crime - social inequality and low-wages are provoking this [4]

@SalZappa
Hello,

In Paragraph two you have included all three causes. I think this should be broken down into three separate paragraphs. When I first read it I thought the second point of salary was part of that of robbery.

Also, giving some examples may make your essay more practical e.g. You could say....I recently read in so so newline or paper of a robber who when caught blamed unemployment as the sole reason for his act of crime!

And finally I noticed some simple grammatical errors.
E.g. Where you wrote " in several developing countries - I think it should be Country not countries as per the sentence and

On the last line Albeit, this is not a excuse,

It should be writes as "albeit not an excuse"
Peaches07   
Feb 28, 2017
Graduate / I am applying for KGSP so kindly view my self introduction letter [3]

@khan5885880

Hello,

The essay covers the key points for a self - introduction essay!

But some words or sentences are unclear i.e not following to make the point powerful.

Did you rush through the writing?. Take the time needed and read your essay out loud to yourself. By doing so you will find out where words have not be used probably.
Peaches07   
Feb 28, 2017
Scholarship / Born and raised in Banjarmasin, Indonesia. My dream for KGSP [20]

@Rayoung
Hi!
I'm sorry I saw your message late as I had to take care of my poems which took all of my time. I hope that you don't give up and take into account what those who reviewed your work suggested. I see the points that have being made and are right and given the level of application for KGSP is high, the advice is all given for you to improve your chance to win or get the scholarship. Look at other people's work and see how they have fared then use it as a basis for your work.

I wish you luck and hope you accomplish your dreams👍
Peaches07   
Mar 1, 2017
Graduate / I've been told that women can not have a career in surgery. SOP for a British university [5]

@Sal70000
Hello,

Your essay sounds so sure to me👍 I think it is well structured too. How many pages of writing are you allowed?! Just so you know and don't exceed the limit required.

In Paragraph 8. After you have said when so so scholarship began in my country, you could add a flare to it by writing -- I felt a sign a relief. I would be a able to fulfill my dream at last! Finally i have an opportunity to gain skills or knowledge to progress further in my career. Just saying, you said it's an opportunity of a life time so it may help to show you want it more than anything or anyone else.

Good luck
Peaches07   
Mar 2, 2017
Scholarship / I come from a home full of love, morals, and education. Self Introduction - KGSP Scholarship [5]

Hello House,

Please I would like help with my Scholarship Self Intro letter. I think that I have written too much as only a page is required so I would like help or suggestion on where I could delete or make adjustment.

Thanks in advance for taking the time out for this.

Finding oneself



I come from a home full and time of love, morals, and education held in high regards. My father being a lecturer pushed us to empower ourselves with knowledge because of he, like many sayings, believes 'Knowledge is strength'. My mother, a graduatant of accounting is a humble, honest, hard working, and a responsible woman. My root as I call my home now secured me firmly.

As a boarding college student, I worked hard and always took home a good result from my time in boarding school. To have followed my parent's footsteps is such a blessing. Looking back now I have fond memories of being called a responsible child. Putting others first before myself was/is when I am the happiest. One of many occasions, I would ensure my siblings had snacks/ or food to eat before myself even preparing such food with the money I saved from my pocket money without being told to. I owe it all to my parent's, and loved ones who pushed me harder and encouraged me to be the better person I am today. They gave me all I needed to achieve my dream to become an accountant. Greenwich University in London, England was among top universities in accounting at the time of my studies and graduating with Second Class Lower in June 2011 I got a reward for my efforts though I was sad to know that I missed out on attaining Second class Upper by 20% or 2 points.

Everything was different for me when I was given the opportunity to study in the UK. My big ambiguous dream was and still is to be a useful person, however little to my family and parents whose supports is to a very large family.

I am reminded of the Korean drama Cheongdang - dom Alice. Achieving one's success and dream is likened to "Effort is my Strength", thus;

"Life is like a recipe book". If you follow the recipe and faithfully follow the instructions for combining ingredients, you would surely succeed".
My friends and aunt would ask me how it was that I was able to work and study at the same time. The fact was that I would work and have a few hours sleep before going to school. It was hard workbe, I worked hard. In fact, I considered it such an opportunity I didn't think of the tiredness I felt after many long shifts. This way, I got to know my strength.

Aside from my university career, I participated in extracurricular activities. I was not only part of the administration staff welcoming new students to the university, I was also on the Award Ceremony every day including representing the university as an Ambassador. I was able to broaden my communication, organizational, and presentation skills while attaining the ability to relate to people from different multicultural background. The experiences I now consider irreplaceable. I had work outside the University too, including my work for popular Football clubs such as Arsenal amongst working for Chelsea, Fulham, Wembley - the national football stadium, and the Oval Cricket ground. I can not stress how excited and happy I still feel the memories around me like trophies and a smile that says it all. The best times of my life, it peaked my love for Sports and a curiosity to want to explore more about all things beautiful in life.

After my degree, I furthered my career in MSC banking and finance and later enrolling to have in the professional ACCA. I was opportuned to work as an Education Administrator at Bellerbys college, also as an accountant in a newly established but yet sophisticated organization that works in line with the Nigeria Immigration Service in the UK. In the two years before my National Youth Service Corps - a service carried out by all citizens, I was able to put into practice the theoretical aspect of my education to good use; balancing outflow and inflow, invoicing, bills and salary payment including general administrative work. Call center assistance, front desk inquiries, clerk, and overtime if needed to achieve the organization's set goal.

I heard of change of university and Exchange programs too late, not because I was not provided with many experiences in the UK but because I wanted a change of environment, new experiences, and challenges hence my Ph.D. and it could not come at a time when my interest in Korea and her culture has a place in my heart.

Korea candid culture, her people, and her beauty captured my heart while I was in London. I can safely say I am one of those Hallyu fans that appreciate the lifestyle of Koreans as depicted in Dramas, news and from events hosted and attended through the Korean Cultural Center, Abuja, Nigeria. My interest in exploring & expanding the culture is shown in my current intermediate level of learning the Korean language at the Study Center in Abuja. I was also a member of the Korean Cultural center in the UK and members of my family have come to also have an interest in the Korean language. Better yet at the beginner's level last year August, I won the Korean Speech contest held. Having seen her popularity in technology, architectural and business industries, I believe South Korea is the perfect destination for my further studies. The universities have chosen preludes history, international recognition and its welcoming aura inviting and my expectation and dream will no doubt be fulfilled to become the person I dream to be. For me, my Ph.D. study in Korea would be like a recipe book as mentioned above. Korea will guide me to the better person I desire to become tomorrow having the support and kindness and love of my family/home. My Ph.D. will fill a gap being already established in accounting.

It gives me great pleasure to serve my nation. I showed I am committed as I recently served my country through the service - National Youth Service Corp (NYSC). A bespoke service I enjoyed it thoroughly. Waking up as early as three am as summed by the soldiers, eating whatever was given, obeying rules and regulation set out and participating in activities and the fun part of socializing. I am a shy or quiet one but did I let it all go serving my country. I participated and represented my group in Volleyball, cultural dance, cooking competition and wherever else as it was needed. An encouragement to myself and team too, for the many who did not want to partake.

The Czech Proverb 'Learn a new language and get a new soul', is the very essence and reason I want to do my Ph.D. in Korea. Exposed and after I have learned and developed well, a true beauty I will share my beauty with Korea and the world. I am diligent and able to do this. Finding oneself is a good way to live. Bertha Gonzalez Nieves is a Mexican entrepreneur and she said 'I see [work travel] as a lifestyle' and I akin myself to this way of life.

I have gone places, and each time I visit a new place I feel my home is anywhere I make it to be. And as such, the freedom of these roots helps me to branch into new territories.
Peaches07   
Mar 2, 2017
Scholarship / Applying for a Ph.D. in International relations leading to diplomacy or an expatriate; KGSP SOP [4]

Please Please Please help me out here!
This is my statement of purpose for the KGSP Scholarship.

I am grateful for the help!!

Goal of study & Study Plan
o Goal of study, title or subject of research, and detailed study plan


recipe for my education



I am pleased to apply for a Ph.D. in International relations leading to diplomacy or an expatriate. My degree was gotten from Greenwich university, one of the top five universities in accounting at the time of my studies and graduation hence the experience invaluable. There was to be no thesis but at Kingston university where I did Banking and Finance as a master's student, I carried a thesis on 'Basel III and its impact'. At the time, Basel III was just be implemented and the fears and speculation of how it might affect the industry rose a curiosity in me so I took it up and it became my thesis topic. Though not easy to gather information because of the fact it was just being implemented, it didn't stop me. I am always ready to put in effort in whatever I set my mind to do and I achieved my goal completing my thesis. The same efforts can be seen at the undergraduate level. I believed that my efforts gave me strength as I worked hard outside of my academic to support myself during my studies. Though this affected my grades, I saw it as a motivation. For missing out on achieving a second class upper by two percentage point I was sad. Even when I was sick at a point I studied through it and wrote exams like everyone else. I see this as a skill being able to push myself hard to remain focus - the goal in front of me greater than my weakness. Because in the end, I attained my degree.

Though my degree and master is in the accountancy field I have reasons to want to study international relations in Korea.
I once heard my dad said even when he was not a great position to help, a group of university students had approached him to solve their problems regarding my state not being represented at the federal level of government. I could see he was stressed having said he could not get in contact with others who he had organized to solve the issue with. Seeing him trying hard but to no avail to contact the others and to get the matter solved I suggested to my dad to do what he can and leave the rest and his response has been my motivation in life and this Ph.D. subject. He said ' the look up to me to help them and I can not leave them when the need me the most'. It is the same for me, I too, who do not like to see or hear injustice being done to anyone I would like to use my course and work in the future to serve whomever I come across. For living for others is living indeed.

I also have sisters, and uncles who work for the Immigration Service, customs, and their work motivates me and would like to become like them.

Their work entails looking, solving issues related to immigrants or as it is otherwise known citizens in diaspora. The issues ranging from getting a residence permit, studies, deportation amongst other responsibilities. I have heard and seen so many diasporas suffer because of lack of information or guide that could make them otherwise enjoy life abroad. So many whose search for a safe haven would get stranded, suffer and in worst cases get deported (recently the number of those being deported have risen a great deal) having not made any plans they suffer as a result. While I can relate to this, I feel they could be better equipped. So I intend to focus my study plan on these areas. To pursue this course, I am of the view that I can work with the Korea Centre or embassy or any Korean multinational corporations having acquired the skills of working in a multicultural environment. I have recently joined InterNation, a great community for international people. I will use this medium to network with great minds and use my experience to better guide others. I would look to advise through conferences or guide book encourage the importance to think and plan just like the study plan is letting me. The conferences or share of information to universities platforms will target the empowerment of people who wish to travel abroad. Universities would give information to aspirants looking to go but not limited to those looking to go abroad but also those abroad to retrace their steps, change the thought of 'I am right to doing what is right'. I will explain the statement thus;

I was talking with some friends and the discussion was on how some charities that are meant to attain a goal helping the poor or needy, less privilege give themselves (Staff or executives) so a bulk paycheck. A friend said with this, there is no reason to donate to any charity. Another said, not everything has to have a reason 'for not every penny you put into a project or risk taken pays off' and I said in 'the end, it is not about being right but doing the right'. We are all right most of the time and when that happens what then? The thought should focus on doing the right thing at the right time. If one loves to or would like to travel abroad, does she or he have the necessary fund, capabilities, and support to do this? For these and other facts being considered would ensure they become better prepared, are able to withstand and go through studies, work and living abroad meaningful and worthwhile. By not equipping oneself so many have lost their way and this is still present.

No one should be denied the right to an education so to educate, excite, and empower the beauty nerds, workaholics, and worthy living in all of us I will look to learn new or refresh the current ways.

Future Plan after Study
o Future plan in Korea or another country after study in Korea


In Korea, I would be a pleasure to work for the JJJ corporation as a diplomat but not limited to diplomacy work for as long I am able to give back what it is I have learnt and I am able to grow as a person and as the work allows me.

The corporation would no doubt equip me with more skills, experience and so that even outside Korea it would be seen and benefit the other organizations and or countries I would work for in the future.

I hope to travel to Canada as my sister who resides there have been inviting. Working with the United Nations in Canada would make me happy as well I know that I can achieve this fate (United nation's worker) outside Canada - around the globe. The opportunity and view of this mean anywhere possible is my aim. My country, and where ever the need for my profession and me is wanted.
Peaches07   
Mar 2, 2017
Scholarship / I come from a home full of love, morals, and education. Self Introduction - KGSP Scholarship [5]

@Holt

Thanks for the help. I have revised and have this new version although I feel it is too long.

I appreciate your help!

Finding oneself

I come from a home full of love, morals, and education held in high regards. My father a former lecturer and farmer studied political science is a hard working and caring person while my mom also a hard worker, humble and responsible farmer and a graduate holder of an accounting degree pushed me and my siblings to empower ourselves with knowledge because they would say 'Knowledge is strength'.

To have followed my parent's footsteps is such a blessing. They gave me all I needed to achieve my dream to become an accountant. (...)
Peaches07   
Mar 3, 2017
Scholarship / My love for motion pictures started from a tender age. SOP FOR THE KGSP [9]

@debby89
Hi Debby,

I can see you are feeling the way most have been doing with regards to the KGSP scholarship. But like I have been advised do take a breath and do not panic. Your work is on the right path given you know what to write down. Your work needs grammatical correction and but that would be for later.

I do not think you have used the two page suggested for the SOP and so you may be giving them little to read about you here. Try and give a detailed plan of your study when you arrive Korea.

best of luck
Peaches07   
Mar 3, 2017
Scholarship / Korean games. My self-introduction for KGSP it will make my dream into reality [14]

@nanenoiii
Hi Nanenoii,

Your essay is very interesting, your passion and interest coming through in the essay. But like you said it is way too long and you will have to follow the guideline or details provided to you to do this. I understand your wanting to say it but in a one page this is not possible.

Also, one of the requirements of a self - introduction is to talk about your family background. How their influence shaped your views about life and how this influence impacted your education. That should be the first paragraph of your essay. You haven't mentioned this and you will have too because it forms a part of what is required - self - introduction!

Best of luck
Peaches07   
Mar 4, 2017
Writing Feedback / Choosing other jobs, changing occupations frequently - IELTS TASK 2 [4]

@reptile5566
Hi,

It is an interesting subject. Nowadays, this trend has really become visible for many to see.

In the second paragraph where you wrote;
If other positions or occupations offer a better salary;
You could continue like this;
They may or become easily swayed and change jobs!
Peaches07   
Mar 5, 2017
Writing Feedback / Briefly describe the work of this (My current job) organisation (max. 250 words) [3]

Hi,
Take a look at this version and change however you like it;

Pusat Kesehatan (...) is called or is also known as Puskesmas Ngronggot. It is a non-profit functional organization and under the Ministry of Health give public health service and primary health care services with the emphasis more on promoting and preventing of health problem to the Ngronggot community, it aims to achieve high improvement in the public health area. The cost for operating this organization is provided for by two parastatal; regional government and social security administrator (Health insurance system of Indonesia) called Badan Penyelenggara Jaminan Sosial. I don't really understand the line I was highlighted in blue but I am sure you do.

The second paragraph is too long for a sentence or what do you think? You could find where you can put a full stop then continue (for example you could put a full stop after empowering the community in health care.) Then continue with remaining as; It also engages in mobilizing.....

Hope it helps you out
Best of luck
Peaches07   
Mar 5, 2017
Scholarship / STUDY PLAN ESSAY TO GAIN CHINESE GOVERNMENT SCHOLARSHIP. [5]

@Mwabi
Hi,

I am sure you will pretty much nail it given what you have written! I am sure of the requirement but from the KGSP scholarship I am interested in, we are to write a page of self - introduction letter and two pages of 10 size times new roman. Your essay has covered much of this but very short indeed. If this is not the case with your Chinese Scholarship then ignore my thoughts on these. More highlights on how your work would be carried out may be helpful.

Good Luck!!!
Peaches07   
Mar 7, 2017
Scholarship / International Development and Cooperation KGSP Letter of Self Introduction [10]

@JoyK
Hi Joy!

I am really glad or rather happily interested in your views about life and wanting to do something to help. Coming from a developing country I can relate with this subject. Your essay almost covered all the requirements for a self introduction letter, however you will need to highlight and write on your family background i.e. What your parents do and how their influence in your life have shaped you academically to become what you are today.

I wish and hope you get the chance to live your dream - it's a worthy cause👍
Peaches07   
Mar 8, 2017
Scholarship / My Korean Future - KGSP Post Study Plans [2]

Hello guys,

How does this look or sound for a statement of purpose post-study plans?
Would welcome any feedback on this, please!
Thanks in advance

Future Plan after Study


o Future plan in Korea or another country after study in Korea


The predominant state of my country as an oil and gas force is yet to been seen particularly in the unbalancing power supply shortage/failure to its people, business, and certainly the investments and increased relationship she so much needs.

Having gained the opportunity to work with the great KEPCO in line with the Nigeria embassy, I would have established my work as a successful candidate ( I believe my schooling, research work would make me a desirable asset to KEPCO) assisting and a first hand link between the two nations relative to the electricity/power sector. My positive participation breaching borders, barriers and the likes. With language no longer a barrier but a strength, I will be equipped personally, and academically to perform exceedingly.

There is much to come from Korea - Nigeria relations, a world of opportunities already in motion and given success stories in the education (KGSP), sports (in taekwondo), cultural diplomacy and the power industry, the more awaiting discovery would be brought to life. Ideas, new inventions, inspirations would pave way for aspirations, curiosity perspectives will give birth, empower and energize Korea - Nigeria relations, a better world between Africa and the world at large. In furtherance, an expertise of experience can be gotten from other multi- national corporation outside KEPCO, access to pools of experience and tools to better strengthen the two nation's relationship, strengths exchanged, weaknesses lessons learned in the ever evolving world. Hence Korea - Nigeria not limiting I will work for as long I am able to give back what it is I have learned and I am able to grow as a person and as the work allows me. The corporation would no doubt equip me with more skills, experience and so that even outside Korea it would be seen and benefit the other organizations and or countries I would work for in the future.

The United Nation is another place I would love to work in in Korea and outside Korea in Canada. Still, my country, and where ever the need for my profession and me is wanted. Bertha Gonzalez Nieves is a Mexican entrepreneur and she said 'I see [work travel] as a lifestyle' and I akin myself to this way of life. Having studied subjects such as geography, agriculture, law, economics in the cause of my previous education, I believe with these skills and experiences from these areas I am in a better position to follow, educate, and learn different country's culture, history and news to aid my work in Korea, and the globe. The use of platforms such as Internation, Zain Verjee Group (CNN), blogs, volunteering would also come in handing.

I know the Korean way of life may not be the same given their economy advancement, culture, and history that have shaped them. Still, I would like to explore this area in relation to my country's and these outcomes would help my country to live better given the presence or relationship that exist between the two countries. I believe I will learn from the best, Korea.

In terms of participation language wise, a friend has recently started a bilingual academy and I hope to spread my wings and join her to tackle the above issues having learned the Korean language I would be able to teach the young of our generation to affect their way of living. Further, from my sisters who are presently working in immigration and customs in my country, I would have valuable expertise to learn from as well my work experience in Korea and access to other institutions like the British council where I have worked previously. And it would please me to give back to native Korean who would like to learn English volunteering where ever and when it is needed.

Conclusion
Sure no one should be denied the right to an education so to educate, excite, and empower the beauty nerds, workaholics, and honest living in all of us I will look to learn new or refresh the current ways. For a person's value of information is wisdom manifest by understanding.
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