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Posts by ththao_99
Name: Nguyen Thu Thao
Joined: Jul 28, 2019
Last Post: Jul 8, 2020
Threads: 5
Posts: 9  
From: Viet Nam
School: Languages School

Displayed posts: 14
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ththao_99   
Jul 28, 2019
Writing Feedback / Group learning or individual learning is better? [3]

choice of learning method



Essay topics: Some people believe that students in schools learn better when they study in groups. Others say school students learn better when they study on their own. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, many believe that group learning will be more effective than individual learning for students, whereas, there is a contradictory notion about the superiority of individual learning. In this essay, will explore both sides of the debate and give my opinion.

To begin with, individual learning enhances the concentration of students. This is because learning alone will prevent pupils from distraction from their teammate's discussion. Especially, to a lot of students who are introverts, it is onerous for them to come up with an idea when they are in crowd. Furthermore, studying by their own will improve the ability of working independently. A group include a lot of students in different levels and some are more talented than others will increase the possibility of develop the habit of just relying on these talented students. When they work alone without support from other, they learn by themselves; hence, their other soft skills like researching, seeking, also improve.

On the other hand, group learning has is own benefits. Several students with different strengths and weaknesses can make up for each other. Specifically, if one person gives an idea and other will develop and nourish it, make it to become the best version of this group by giving their perspectives. Human being usually finds hard to realize their own mistakes so working together is a good way to take improve myself by objective and friendly judgment from teammates. Besides, it will improve teamwork skills of students. Even if you detest working with others but in our modern society, it is unavoidable. Therefore, it will give the students the best preparation for the working environment in the future.

To sum up, two types of learning method have their own pros and cons. In educational environment we can combine these and use them flexibly in particular period of learning as well as in specific students.
ththao_99   
Jul 30, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Should students be taught skills such as cooking or dressing? [2]

Hi @gracie2002,
This is my feedback in terms of coherence. I hope that it will be helpful.
I think your essay isn't clear enough. Specifically, in the second and the third paragraph, you mentioned 2 reasons why soft skills should be taught but they are quite similar. In fact, I think, they are one which is the importance of soft skills in real life. The only difference between 2 paragraphs is in the second one, you took get dressed skill as an example and the third, you took cooking.

Besides, I think skills mentioned here is not just get dressed and cooking, it also can be communication skill or self-study skill, and so on. You also can take them as examples.

This is just my opinion, you can take it or leave it.
ththao_99   
Jul 31, 2019
Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 2: Factors affect children's development [2]

Essay topic: Many people say that family is the most powerful influence on a child's development. However, some people suppose that other factor (such as music, friends,) have a great influence on children. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

family plays the most overriding role



Essay:
Many people think that children's development predominantly depends on family, whereas others suppose it depends on other factors like music, friend. This essay will examine the debate and give my opinion.

To begin with, family is the very first and primary environment in which a child grows up. They spend their majority of time at home, this amount of time even much more for children who under 5 years old. In this environment, children's personality, habit and lifestyle will be created and nourished. It is conspicuous that kids usually imitate exactly adults' behavior and manner. Therefore, parents will have the most essential effect on children's growth. Specifically, if a child matures in a family which has a drunk and violent father, he would likely to follow the father's footstep and become a father's copy version.

On the other hand, other factors like music and friend also contribute to kid's growth. When children get older and go to school, they will have exposure to their friends and teachers, which can improve and maybe change their perception. Besides, something like music or sports also can help children develop both mental and physical health. According to a study, if a mom listens to music on a regular basis in her pregnancy term, her child possibly is a genius.

Personally, I think, although, there are a lot of things affect children's development, family effect still plays the most overriding role. It will build the foundation; this foundation in association with other factors like music and friend will stimulate significantly children's growth. Therefore, parents should have a suitable method of teaching kids.
ththao_99   
Jun 23, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 WRITING: SHOULD THE GOVERNMENT PAY FOR THE CLEANING UP POLLUTION OF INDIVIDUALS? [4]

In your essay, you mentioned about corporations and companies but the requirement of the task just focuses on individuals, so I not so sure that you are off topic or not unless you can proved that the effects of cleaning up pollution payment of individuals do affect the corps and companies. similarly, your ex given in the pra 1 not really matches with your previous statement.
ththao_99   
Jun 23, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: ARE INVESTMENTS ON WILD ANIMALS PROTECTION WORTHY? [3]

Task 2:
Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population.


To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?



Some people argue that time and money investments on wild animals are too large and these investments should be spent on humans. I completely disagree with this point of view.

Firstly, in my opinion it is absurd to argue the investment on wild animal protection is redundant. It is true that in recent years, we have been organized numerous campaigns to raise people 'awareness about the importance of wild animal protection and erected parks and animal conservation sites to protect animals, which can cost a fortune. However, it appears that there are several other areas which are burning money of human such as nuclear energy and space exploration. Take space exploration as an example, the budget of a rocket production is far higher than that of a zoo. Similarly, the training fee for a zoo keeper is nowhere near as expensive as that of an astronaut. Hence, the financial investment on wild animal protection is nothing comparing with that of other fields.

Secondly, wild animals play a crucial role in humans' lives. Protecting animals means protecting their habitats which are instrumental in balancing the ecosystem. If wild animals die out, the ecosystem is destroyed. As a result, humans are likely to face with extreme weather such as climate changes and other disasters. Besides, wild animals is a rich source of science research. Scientists usually do some observe and analyze the manners and behaviors of those species and their exploration after that can broaden the knowledge of human about nature even some of them are considered as foundation for human research.

In conclusion, in my opinion the investment we spent on animals is money-worthy and wild animals protection is always a matter of importance.
ththao_99   
Jun 24, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: ARE INVESTMENTS ON WILD ANIMALS PROTECTION WORTHY? [3]

@Holt
Thanks so much, your very detailed feedback is really helpful. But can you show me some of my profound sentence formation and grammartical mistakes that I made and how it can be fixed to be more natural? Just some because after reading my essay over and over again, I am still unable to improve it :((
ththao_99   
Jun 25, 2020
Writing Feedback / Write an essay of about 300 words about the causes of trend students take standardized English exams [5]

I think your last idea should be clarified more, taking a standardized test do not help you in your career but it is having a high score in those tests that does help you.

Besides, in my opinion, some parts of your essay are wordy as if you wanted to showcase your vocab so you added as many fancy words and phrases as possible.

There are some grammatical mistakes in your essay:
- school students who decide
- such as Harvard, Oxford and Stanford.
- those English examinations
ththao_99   
Jun 25, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - LINE GRAPH - VEGETARIAN DIET IN UK FROM 1960 TO 2020 [4]

I cannot see the image clearly but i think that in the overview part, you should not mention figures. Those figures is for the below paragraphs.

You use 2 linking words which are moreover and however in the second sentence of the second paragraph, which, I think, is grammatical wrong.
ththao_99   
Jun 25, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Whether all or just some wild animals should be protected? [4]

Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that only a few wild animals should be protected.

DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.



It is true that people hold different opinions to the extent to which wild animals should be protected. While some argue that the protection should be for only few wild animals, I firmly believe that all wild animals ought to be preserved.

One the one hand, it is said that some animals do not bring any benefits to humans at all such as rats and some kinds of insects. These animals are not important to ecosystem and they are even harmful to humans 'lives. For example, rats eat food that human produced and spread viruses on their bodies and make humans infectious to some disease. Besides, some also indicated that we are overspend money on wild animals by building a lot of zoos and conservation sites to protect them and organizing numerous campaigns to raise people' s awareness about the importance of wild animal protection. This amount of money should be spent on solving issues of human beings such as hunger and property.

One the other hand, I strongly agree with the viewpoint that all wildlife should be under protection. Firstly, each animal in nature plays certain role in the ecosystem, which benefits to us in one way or another. For example, in highland areas, thanks to worms, after heavy rains, soil is kept on the lands, whereby, alleviate floods and protect humans' lives. Secondly, wild animals are a rich resource for research. Scientists usually analyze wild animals and their exploration can acknowledge humans about nature and some show that some parts of a number of wild animals can be potential medicines.

In conclusion, the debate of whether all or just few wild animals should be under protection is still constant. In my opinion, it is necessary to conserve all wild animal.
ththao_99   
Jul 8, 2020
Writing Feedback / Reading newspapers and books online - CAM 15 | Test 2 | Writing Task 2 [5]

Hi! I have some suggestions for you. Hope that they're helpful:
- I don't think that you should you the word "ability to read" because ability refers to something intrinsic rather than a choice (in this case it is choice between paper books and digital books)

- I think your example in paragraph 2 is irrational. Carrying a books or newspaper doesn't related to time-consuming reason. It is just heavy to carry and take more space and or not portable like smartphones

- The second main idea is supposed to be " Reading books and newspaper online averts environmental pollution" not "the internet"
ththao_99   
Jul 8, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: SHOULD THE GOVERNMENT CARRY AND CONTROLL SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH? [2]

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments
rather than private companies.

DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?


There is a constant debate on the roles of governments and private companies in carrying and controlling scientific research. While some argue that governments should conduct and control it, I strongly believe that government and private businesses should cooperate to gain the best results.

On the other hand, it is said that the fact that private companies conduct scientific research is posing a threat to society. If there is no regulation of governments, some companies are willing to use the results of scientific research to profiteer regardless to its serious consequences. For example, in 2015, a company in China secretly changed the gene of new-born babies, breaking the laws of human rights. This experiment begged a question about the morality of science and even the future of humans. However, if governments carry on scientific research, research can be supported and regulated to guarantee its legitimacy.

On the other hand, I tend to agree with the viewpoint that the investment on scientific research is extremely huge and with a limited budget, governments are unable to do it. Conducting a research needs a tremendous financial support to build laboratory, recruit talent scientists and pay for all the equipment in the research. They can cost a fortune and it would be more practical if this amount of money of government is spent to solve numerous current problems of humans such as poverty and hunger. Besides, the lack of budget from government can limit scientific research, which hinders the development of science.

Personally, I think that it would be more effective to allow private companies to conduct research and governments will be the ones regulating it.

To sum up, while the advantages of the control of government in scientific research are obvious, I firmly believe that the best solution is the cooperation of governments and private companies.

* Please let me know what score my essay deserves. Thanks so much.
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