Writing Feedback / Is sport nothing more than a leisure activity? [5]

Hi guys, I'm working on IELTS writing for the test next year. I hope you can give me your thoughts on this. Much appreciated!

Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, it is nothing more than a leisure activity.

Discuss both views and give your opinion

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When it comes to sport, some people advocate that it does wonders for society while others argue that sport only plays a recreational part. Subjectively, I am far in agreement with the former statement. In this essay, I am going to give my opinion on both views and give reasons why I agree that sport offers more things than being just a leisure activity.

It is undeniable that sport has entertainment value. There is always a wide range of people around the world who develop high interest in sport since playing or following it helps satisfy their passion and demand to release stress or simply to lift up their mood. Thus, this contributes to greater mental health and satisfaction.

However, I believe that sport is something more than just the above-mentioned benefit. There are three key upsides that sport brings people. Firstly, taking up sport benefits the community's fitness level. For instance, playing basketball may increase people's height and flexibility or engaging in chess enhances their logical thinking. Consequently, this leads to a healthier and more sustainable life. Secondly, because a bunch of sport lovers are willing to support their idols and companies are ready to pay millions of dollars for a deal, sport can even turn into a career. Those who work in the sport industry not only make a living with fairly high income but also are able to bring the public recreation and motivation to participate in sport activities. Messi, for example, who is a worldwide known soccer player, earns enough money to live the entire life comfortably after a season and strongly passes on the inspiration for boys who want to pursue a soccer path. Finally, as playing sports means exposure to various situations, people are able to develop and sharpen certain skills. Chief among them is cooperation skill which trains people how to collaborate more effectively and produce higher results. This results in big pluses added to a curriculum vitae for a brighter future and more easy life.

In conclusion, regardless of the fact that there are two opposing views about sport, one supposing that sport is nothing more than an entertaining tool and one claiming that sport does bring value to society, I far agree with the later idea for reasons presented above.

Writing Feedback / Spending a lot of time at work - positive or negative? [4]

In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? And is it positive or negative development?

*note: Since the question is about reasons and whether it is positive or negative, can I batch the requirement and seperate into 2 paragraphs (positive, negative with the reasons included in it)?

In this modern day and age, it is undeniable that an increasing number of people are devoting more time at work than ever before. This trend happens for a number of reasons and it is considered partially positive and negative.

On the one hand, there are two main factors explained for why spending longer hours at work is positive. Firstly, society is becoming increasingly developed which leads to the increase in people's demand and costs. Since working longer hours at work earns people higher income, they will be able to make enough of a living to satisfy their requirements. Secondly, working overtime means people can approach opportunities to get promotions and rewards. This is because with more time set aside to work, workers may be able to learn more skills, acquire more experience and achievements which give them a big plus over other colleagues. My uncle, for example, who is working as a Chinese interpreter besides doing clerical work in the morning, is promoted to head of department after only one year which is fairly early compared to those working nine to five.

On the other hand, having more time at work also brings a number of negative sides. First thing first, since people want to earn a salary as high as possible, they are willing to work overtime with heavy workload. This would cause them to become exhausted, stressed out or even depressed. In the long term, they would suffer from serious health risks which dramatically affect life quality. Another drawback of this is that people may be prevented from accomplishing outside-work duties. Those who are working are mostly among the age of having a family. As a result, this means they are likely to neglect their family if they devote a huge amount of time to work. Vietnamese parents, for example, whose kids usually have to fend for themselves without any confidence with their parents or clear orientation from them as they have to get involved in laborious jobs that take them most of the day. Consequently, their children would not be provided with sustainable up-bringing which results in further struggles in life.

In conclusion, the tendency of spending more time at work has both advantages and disadvantages and it is caused by several culprits which are demonstrated above.

Writing Feedback / Adverts all around us. Opinion on whether advertising is positive to our lives. [3]

Hi guys, this is my essay. Thanks for taking a look at it. Much appreciated!

Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In this modern day and age, it is undoubted that advertising is dominant and becoming an everyday thing. Some people consider this as an upside of life. I totally agree with this for the reason that it is advantageous to both consumers and producers.

In terms of consumers, they are likely to have detailed information about products, which allows them to make comparisons between products they are wondering about. Thus they would be able to find the best deals. Beside that, advertising also acts as a form of entertainment. Since there is a growing competitiveness between brands, companies are trying to boost their attractiveness by applying entertaining effects on ads to catch consumers' attention. Thus, viewers are more likely to enjoy advertisements to unwind and lift their mood up. For example, while getting stressed from online study, I am often able to release my stress by running into adverts with engaging songs and singing along.

In terms of producers, advertising does bring them a couple of benefits. Firstly, advertising means closer approaches to buyers which in turn increases sales and profits. Consequently, this not only does good to companies but also helps shape a stronger economy. Secondly, as the process of promoting products requires a lot of labor, it would lead to higher recruitment for jobs. For instance, because the advertising industry, these days, is on a dramatic development to meet demands for products than ever before, various job positions such as copywriter or illustrator are overflowing on the job market with lucrative salaries. As a result, job seekers can hunt for jobs that comfortably suit them and earn an excessive amount of money.

Looking back, it is my firm belief and agreement with those who say that owing to advertising, our lives can benefit much greater.

(297 words)

Writing Feedback / GOING OVERSEAS TO LEARN LANGUAGE AND CULTURE - AGREE OR DISAGREE? [4]

learning the language and culture of another country by visiting it

As a part of education, students should spend a period of time living in another country to learn its language and culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In order to underpin the process of learning, it is suggested that students should learn the language and culture of another country by visiting it. Subjectively, though I do not deny that going overseas in exchange for linguistic and cultural gain is beneficial, I completely disagree with this idea.

There are some explanations why students travel to a foreign country in turn for culture and language. Firstly, since every country is encountering globalisation which means an increase in competitiveness, it is necessary that students possess not only academic knowledge but also life skills to gain an edge over others. As a result, when visiting another country, they will be able to widen their perspectives by being exposed to various ways of people's lives. Secondly, interacting with native speakers in their own countries is far more effective to learn a language than in other ones. This allows students to discover more unique and attractive languages, or enhance what they are learning.

However, I would present two main reasons why I am in disagreement with this idea. The first one is that students may face serious difficulties since they first go to an abroad country with inexperience. For example, those who get used to Eastern customs are likely to have cultural shock when coming to countries in the West. This, in the long term, may result in disappointment, helplessness or even depression. Besides that, because it would cost an arm and a leg to pay for expenses when studying abroad, students may severely suffer from financial burden which lowers their focus and efficiency on studying.

In conclusion, regardless of the fact that devoting a period of time to learn culture and language in foreign countries brings several advantages, I am opposed to this idea for the reasons above.

(296 words)

Writing Feedback / LIVING ALONE OR IN SMALLY FAMILY UNITS - POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE ? [3]

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups.

Is this a positive or negative trend?

These days, living alone or in small family units, compared to in large or extended groups, is more enjoyed by people. Personally, this is a negative tendency to me for three key reasons.

Firstly, while a standard family containing two or more generations is more likely to bring the sense of family spirit, living in small families or alone may decrease this. The reason is that it prevents people from having strong connections with other members. As a result, they will lack an invaluable part of life, leading to unfulfillment. For example, people who work away from their families could lead a less happy life, as they do not have a chance to meet their beloved ones frequently whom they can share and express themselves comfortably.

Second, people living with few members in their family may suffer from financial pressure. This is because they are less likely to share the bills and expenses with other ones, especially those living alone. This, in the long term, would result in more serious effects, such as bad debt or even crime involvement. For instance, youngsters who do not have financial share within their family may commit robbing, when they have to deal with stacks of expenditure lists waiting for them.

Thirdly, the more people live separately, the higher the need for shelters is. Consequently, there would be land and space shortages, as constructing houses or apartments require a lot of resources. If this continues to happen at a rapid pace, the government would run out of land to construct social architectures such as hospitals or schools to benefit the public.

To sum up, even though there is an increasing number of people who prefer to live on their own or in small family capacity, it seems to me that this is nothing but a negative trend.

(303 words)

Writing Feedback / Many criminals commit crimes after they are set free. Opinion and solutions. [2]

Essay about recidivism

Report research suggests that the majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when they are set free. What do you think of this case? What to be done to solve this problem?

It is suggested that ex-criminals are likely to reoffend after they are released. Personally, though I think this is a negative case, I believe there are several solutions to this issue.

On the hand, there are two factors that I suppose would detrimentally affect both criminals and the public. In terms of offenders, as they continue to commit crimes, they would be more severely punished. These punishments may include years of being put behind bars, or even death sentence. This means to put an end to their lives. As for society, when these people disobey the law, they may cause serious injuries to not only properties but also humans. For example, some people often have their devices stolen, in which they store secret and important files, or there are those who get killed only because of hooliganism in the pub.

On the other hand, some effective solutions can be implemented to reduce this. Firstly, instead of imposing harsh punishments on law breakers, which is only a temporary solution, the government should teach them rights from wrongs. As a result, they can themselves change their mindset and rehabilitate, which is considered a far more permanent method. Secondly, people and the government should be more open to ex-offenders. This is because if those set free find everyone discriminate against them, they are more likely to be back to their previous path. For instance, the government can encourage companies to provide more chances for after-prison people to find jobs. Thus, they are less likely to feel dispensable and can contribute more values to the public.

To sum up, it is my belief that returning to the criminal path after being released is fairly a negative case. Regardless of it, there are two ways suggested above to alleviate this problem.

(296 words)

Writing Feedback / Nowadays, there are a number of people who are unable to read or write. Causes and solutions. [2]

Nowadays, many people cannot read or write

What problems does this cause? What measures can governments take to solve these problems?

In today's world, there are a number of people who are unable to read or write. Though this case has some problems, it could be alleviated by many effective remedies.

On the one hand, a number of problems are resulted from the inability to read or write. First, when in important situations, people who have difficulty over reading and writing may not fully comprehend the information. As a result, they are more likely to be misled and do harm to themselves. Laborers, for example, who are incapable of reading, may be exploited physically as they do not deeply understand what is written in the contract. Second, since a person cannot write, he may run into a wide range of troubles, especially when it comes to dealing with the government and verifying legislative documents. For instance, those who are unable to write may not be able to finish required papers, such as making a petition to send their local authority, or giving signature.

On the other hand, there are two solutions that can be implemented to tackle this issue. Chief among them is that the government should invest more money in education. For example, they should build more schools, especially those in the remote areas, or launch campaigns to raise people's awareness about education. Thus, people are likely to change their mindset about the importance of learning, and be able to approach it more easily. Secondly, there should also be well-trained staff who take responsibility for supporting these people. As a result, even if someone does not possess complete writing and reading skills, they would be able to get through administrative formalities.

To sum up, regardless of the fact that there are some people who can neither read nor write, this situation could be effectively avoided by some ways suggested above.

(270 words)