Undergraduate / Stanford/Common App Short Answer; 'I started playing soccer at the age of six' [3]

These are my responses to some of the short answer questions. Last week my counselor told me that I should try and apply EA to Stanford, so I have been rushing to get all of the writing assignments done and I am sure they are not as good as they could be if I had more time. Any help I can get with regard to my essays would be wonderful.

***In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities. (< 150 words)

From the time I started playing soccer at the age of six, it has been a big part of my life-- especially in high school. My high school soccer career began on JV, but as a freshman I was promoted to Varsity goalkeeper just before the start of league play. Adding to the apprehension I already felt about playing my first Varsity game was the fact that the school we were up against had been league champions for the past several years and had demolished our team every time we had played them. After going into four overtimes, our match against them ended scoreless. Though it finished in a tie, that game is one of my proudest moments. I, the little freshman goalie, had shutout the best team in the league. At the end of that season, after much hard work and perseverance, we won our first ever league championship.

***Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you. (> 250 words)

This past summer I was fortunate enough to participate in the Discover Stanford program. While I was walking around the campus, I realized that it felt very natural to me. I did not feel like I was walking around some nameless, generic college-- I felt like I was walking around my own home. Stanford just felt right to me. I could see myself strolling through the Main Quad, attending services at the Memorial Church, playing soccer for Stanford in the stadium (I can dream can't I?). Though I had only been at Stanford for a few hours, it felt like I had lived there my entire life! As if Stanford's beautiful campus was not reason enough for me to want to attend, learning about the academic opportunities offered at Stanford just sweetened the deal.

I was very impressed when I heard about the dedication Stanford has to making sure their students are successful. It was very comforting to me to know that Stanford would offer me all the help I needed to ensure my academic success. Upon further inquiry, I found that apart from being one of the best schools around, Stanford is very highly regarded in my intended major of political science. The diversity found on the campus and Stanford's dedication to promoting different cultures and beliefs as well as the plethora of clubs and activities were other qualities that I also found very appealing. After learning so much about Stanford and all it has to offer, I am left with only one question: if I want the best educational experience I can receive, why would I not go to Stanford?

Undergraduate / "My mother's drug use" - determination and knowledge [9]

This is addressing the "Describe the world you come from and how it has affected your life" prompt that many colleges use. I need this essay done by Nov. 1st so I can apply early action. It is my first draft so it is still very rough. Any suggestions that anyone has to clean it up or make it make it better would be greatly appreciated. It is also fairly long and I wouldn't mind shortening it a bit so any tips on how I can do that would be great also. Thank you very much.

When I was younger, I had to deal with a very serious addiction. The addiction was not my own, but rather my mother's. My mom had struggled with her addiction to various drugs and alcohol since before I was born. Her struggle finally came to an end on November 10, 2004 when she died of a heroin overdose. Despite the immense sadness her addiction has caused in my life, having to deal with it from a very young age has given me the strength I need to overcome any obstacles that I face and wisdom beyond that of many of my peers. Her compassion and love for everything around her serve as lessons for my own life. I was forced to grow up very fast due to my mother's drug use. Often it seemed as if my mother and I had switched roles. I was the one questioning where she had been all night and reprimanding her after I found hidden alcohol stashes. She would come into my bed when she had had a bad dream and I was the one who would wake her up and tell her to get ready because it was time for school. Because of this, I gained a strong sense of responsibility at an early age. That strong sense of responsibility has continued with me all these years and is evident in all aspects of my life. I am grateful for the maturity that I have gained because it has helped me succeed in school, sports, and life in general. My mother was a very smart and talented person. She could have been very successful had she never gotten caught up with drugs and alcohol. Knowing the mistakes she made that led her astray provides me with the knowledge, strength, and courage needed to make the right decisions. I will not let anything deter me from being the best that I can be. I realize that I am blessed with many of my mom's strengths and I am determined to make sure I do not fall victim to any of her weaknesses. Not everything I learned from my mother was a result of the consequences of her drug use. In fact, most of the things I learned from her were not things that she taught me, but rather qualities that I had observed about her character. My mother was an extremely compassionate person. She cared deeply about all people, more so than any other person that I have met. She deeply regretted the fact that her drug use had hurt many people, but she did not realize how much more of a profound effect her overflowing kindness had on them. I believe that seeing my mother's compassion has in turn made me a more compassionate person. Now I can only hope that I will be able to have as profound of an effect on people's lives as she did. My mother loved life. She often danced like nobody was watching, even if everybody was watching. She did not care what people thought about her as long as she was having a good time. During the wonderful periods of time when she was drug free, she was the best mom that anyone could ask for. She would take me to the park, the beach, or wherever we wanted to go. She was never one of those parents that sat around and watched their kids play; she was always out there playing with me. She taught me to live life to the fullest and not let anyone stand in my way. Both the good and bad experiences that I had with her have made me a better, stronger, smarter, and more compassionate person. I would not trade the life I have lived for a "normal" one at any cost because I know that I would be a completely different person than I am now. I am proud of the person that my mother has helped me become, and I can only hope that she would be proud of it also. I try to carry on her zest for life by being involved in everything I can, by not letting anything weigh me down, by pursuing what I love, and most importantly by finding enjoyment in everything that I do.

Undergraduate / Princeton Quote Essay- If not us, who? If not now, when? [4]

I have started writing an introduction for this essay but now I am stuck... any suggestions that anyone has that might get me unstuck would be great as well as any comments on what I have written so far. Thanks!

Prompt (about 500 words): Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a jumping off point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation at the beginning of your essay.

If not us, who? If not now, when?

Those eight simple words combine to ask two very simple questions, but the message behind those words makes the questions very profound. They are an outright call to action, an impetus to do something great, to become a part of something bigger than yourself, to change the world. Those words have become my credo; they have inspired me to become more proactive and think not only about what I can accomplish, but what we as people can accomplish, together, if we just try.

Undergraduate / Princeton Summer Essay- "I like being busy" [3]

This is my first draft so I want to know what people think about it. Thank you.

Prompt: Please tell us how you have spent the last two summers (or vacations between school years), including any jobs you have held, if not already detailed on the Common Application.

Considering my hectic schedule during the school year, some people might believe that I would use my summers to take a break and rest before plunging back into another busy year of high school. I would consider that to be a waste. To me, summer is a time that I can do all of the things that I could not fit into the school year.

The summer after my sophomore year in high school was horrible. I was without a license which meant that I, living on a ranch outside of town, was basically stuck at home. I tried to make the best of it by keeping the house clean and earning some brownie points with my parents. Half way through the summer I got a job with the local Parks and Recreation department, which earned me a bit of money and forced my dad to give me rides into town. Still, as a person who is not satisfied unless I have absolutely no free time, I felt the need to be doing so much more and I vowed to never let a summer be wasted like that again.

This past summer, I stuck to my promise. I had my driver's license, I had my car, and I felt free as a bird. Being a firm believer in the phrase "work hard, play hard", I took two public speaking classes at the local community college and I continued to work with the Parks and Recreation department, but I made sure I was still able to go to the beach and hang out with my friends. I drove all over California, from Los Angeles to visit family, to Kernville to visit friends, to Tehachapi where I washed dishes at Woodward West skateboard camp in order to earn my stay. I even got out of California for the first time in eight years and visited my sister in Austin, Texas where I went to museums and famous dance halls and learned a lot more about what this country has to offer. I made sure that my summer "break" was extremely well spent. I visited colleges, saved up money and bought a bike, floated down rivers, played volleyball, met new people, saw new places, and created many great memories that I will not soon forget. Next summer my goal is to do even more.

Speeches / Graduation Speech: "Congratulations everyone - very much appreciated" [7]

I have to give a speech at my graduation next week, and I was wondering if I could get some thoughts on my speech. If anyone has any ideas to make it smoother or anything, that would be great! Thanks!

Four years ago, when I walked on this campus, there were three things that I was certain of. I wasn't going to wear any dresses, I wasn't going to go to any dances, and I was definitely not going to speak at graduation. Well, six dresses, three dances, one spot on prom court, and four years later, here I am giving a speech at graduation.

Maybe it is because this was my senior year and the thought of going to college and moving away made me get sentimental, but over this past year, I have really grown to appreciate this town. Now, I know what you all are thinking: "How can anyone like Lompoc? We don't even have a bowling alley!" And I know that since all of you were avid bowlers, the closing of that bowling alley really hurt you, but there is so much more to Lompoc than having or not having a bowling alley, you just have to open your eyes and look around. Our town may not be perfect, but if you are only looking for bad things, then you will only find bad things, so I challenge all of you to start looking for the positive aspects of this town and I guarantee that eventually you will be able to find something good about Lompoc. Then, once you have found something, maybe you can also learn to appreciate this town as much as I do and when someone asks you where you are from, you can proudly say "I am from Lompoc, CA" and you will take the time to explain where exactly that is, even if that means you have to carry around a small map of California in your pocket. But the main thing is that we should stop thinking of Lompoc as a place we need to get away from as soon as possible and start thinking of it, instead, as a good place to start from.

The same goes for our high school. Lompoc High doesn't always get the best rap, but our school is not as bad as some make it out to be. And I have to say it is definitely the best high school in town. The students here can be just as great, or even better, than the students anywhere else. But the task of achieving greatness lies in the hands of the students and so it is up to us to show everyone just what can come out of Lompoc High School. I feel that this graduating class has already started to live up to this task and will continue to show the world what we can do as photographers, physical trainers, sports marketers, musicians, and, who knows, maybe even a future president. But we couldn't have done it all on our own so now I would like to take the time to thank the people who have helped me out along the way.

I would first like to thank my mom for giving me the strength to overcome anything, and I only wish she could be here today to see this. To the rest of my family, my dad and Joanne, my brother Jojo, who is also graduating today, as well as my grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins and the rest of my family, I cannot thank you guys enough for all of your love and support. I would also like to thank all of my friends; I am assuming you know who you are. And I would like to thank their families because I have eaten a lot of their food over the past four years. I would like to thank the cast of "Scrubs" for frequently distracting me from my studies and for always putting a smile on my face and I would also like to thank Geena Davis and Betty White for being awesome. I would, of course, like to thank all of my teachers going all the way back to pre-school because you can only learn so much on your own and because you guys created an environment that made me excited to come to school. You guys are amazing and I cannot put into words how grateful I am for what you have done for me and for what you guys do every day for all of your students. After all of the craziness of this year, I would especially like to thank Ms. Michel and Mrs. Rios for helping me with college and scholarship applications and for assuring me that writing all those essays was going to be worth it in the end. Well, now that the end is here, I would definitely have to say that it was all worth it.

To the underclassmen, I would like to tell you to get involved in as many activities as you can while in high school and to stick with everything, even when it gets extremely stressful, because when you are standing on this stage receiving your diploma, you will not regret any of it. And to my fellow graduating seniors, I would like to wish you all the best of luck and leave you with my twist on a famous Dr. Seuss quote. It goes something like this, "I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I am"- Wait, that's the wrong quote. What I meant to say was this, "Don't cry because it's over, Smile because high school is finally over!!!" Congratulations everyone and thank you very much.