Scholarship / Out of the Crowd [4]

sharmin,

this is well written but u should make it so long, just get to the direct point. i think u r bengali by ur name. what institution are u trying to get into?

Poetry / "Stepping out into the world" - NYU SUPPLEMENT POEM [5]

its really not that good. have u read what some others are using. its really terrible. please make it better.

Undergraduate / UPenn supplement essay -what I can contribute to community [6]

1st, don't lie on there, they will check if u are a chess champion and if ur name doesn't show up on a google search they will think u r lying (i know someone with experience)

also, dont put that your values will be spread, it's like saying u are out there to change the world when really all u want is to get the best degree to make more money.

and the ending paragragh needs severe help, its like what 99% will write on there. that's not the qualities of a chess champion.

Research Papers / Environmental issue research: my ideas about Global Warming? [8]

pick something no one else is going to pick. go specific, specialize on an idea, its easy to blame all and its boring to read.

Undergraduate / 'My sister has had eczema' - My Influences for Pursuing Medicine Essay [3]

one class such as biology isn't enough to persuade them when there is little to no energy. everyone thinks they are better than everyone else or they are different, show that, with energy and passion about why u really want to be a doctor, not for some class where u learned a bunch of vocab and then went home read 20 pgs and got an A. they dont care about that, be different. talk about passion, such as the lives of a friend, experience with patients, and be someone who becomes a doctor not for money but as a way to express the patient's best interests. it's not that hard if u love it.

Scholarship / Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. Your success? [5]

this is the worst essay i have read thus far. really? where's the energy? is that how u talk to people/ ?

Undergraduate / NYU (summer in Italy, new yorker - Alicia Keys, poem, movie, program of interest [6]

musicislife3128
chelsea,

i think u are on the right route but i am sure i read something similar to ur poem for nyu. u might want to make it shorter and provide more details that just getting back up. it's what everyone is writing.

Undergraduate / "I am Chinese. I am Filipino. I am Canadian." - Stanford Roommate Supplement [10]

THIS is perhaps the worst thing u can do on an essay. Please PLEASE pLEASE change the way you wrote this. talk to ur roommate as if he/she was here like a normal human being.

Undergraduate / Why Penn Supplemental Essay-------Merging Medicine and Finance at Wharton [6]

this shit is not going to work for them. that's how one person i know started their essay. its telling them u are interested in making a lot of money 1st and nothing else and have little practacilaty. this is as general as any other essay. wow, they are going to read the first 2 paragraphs and throw this shit away.

Undergraduate / Spend a day, Poem, 2050 Movie, The program - nyu supplement [11]

is this for transfer or freshman admissions?

Undergraduate / NYU: movie 2050, anticipated academic program, short poem, New Yorker, summer [9]

I know someone else who picked calvin klein, pick someone interesting like yoko ono. also, all ur thing new yorker, poem, reason shows the same reason learn from your past. i got bored as **** reading it. you might want to change it. sorry make it 3 others picking calvin klein from a diff. site.

is this for freshman or transfer?

Undergraduate / "A song with a prolonged "Aaaahh" - Personal Essay [12]

what is the topic? it doesnt matter how beautiful your essay and REALLY long it is if we dont know the topic...

Scholarship / scholarship: saving poverty housing [8]

i like it but cut it down a bit more use (; to combine some). also, u might want to show passion directly and not just saying it in words based on how u would talk to paper (talk to a human in the essay) but i like the idea. thanks for ur service. don't lie . tell how the others with u felt and all about the setting &* energy!

Undergraduate / NYU: movie 2050, anticipated academic program, short poem, New Yorker, summer [9]

Mr. Lee, my friend is an admissions essay reader at nyu. here's what he suggested and my input as well. i hope this helps.

1. I would advise you to not pick Calvin Klein (there are many others who are picking him) that are interested in Gallatin.

2. "you are eager to throw yourself into the maze". buddy, u are already in the maze, u just feel a college education will help u further ur pursuits and make more money. just be honest. SAY "I want to make MORE MONEY" and show passion not a quote that doesnt justify your reasoning.

3. ur poem is too long and not very precise in represeting you. its a bunch of jumble mixed up.

Writing Feedback / " GRE essay: Laws should not be rigid or fixed. .. [4]

i like it what is it for there are some unnecessary sentences, reread it and take out the excess and use better words (look up synonyms at such words as: refining_).

Undergraduate / "A song with a prolonged "Aaaahh" - Personal Essay [12]

i like it (the style) but its too long. i dont really believe it directly or in fact, indirectly answers the prompt effectively, i would focus more on the singing aspect and how that would contribute to the campus. i don't think it does that very well, but i may be wrong.

where is this for? if its for a ivy league i would change dramatically it if not for a top school i would improve it slightly.

Graduate / Personal Statement for Law School Admissions-Why I want to go to law school [10]

where is this going to? if its an ivy it will not work but otherwise i would keep it.

Undergraduate / Common Application Essay (Sticks and Stones) [9]

bro u think its easier being a jew or a muslim in america? focus on substance of status by act not by what u are given. you could just as easily say nigger but that would be someone else's use.

Undergraduate / NYU SUPP- 2050 MOVIE(Indian School)// SYRACUSE SUPP- Diversity of Options [5]

you are asking for bad things to happen to the school in the future? what does that say about u as a person, u like to be in the center of things?

Essays / Whats My New Years Resolution and Why? [6]

i am so confused.

Graduate / I just started my law school personal statment. is this a good start? [3]

i like it but where is ur brother?

Undergraduate / stanford intellectually engaging thought essay -- healing powers [4]

don't think u are all that.

Undergraduate / "Living in Pakistan" - Why Emory supplement essay [8]

dont lie on ur application. it doesnt blend.

Undergraduate / cousin diagnosed with Autism, reasons for transferring, objects hoped to achieve [5]

improve structuring. if u want to go into medicine truly, do the best u can not for money but for the heart.

Undergraduate / UChicago "In chinese, crisis is composed of two characters, danger/opportunity" [9]

whatever u do, dont lie to get in.

suspended for giving useless feedback

Undergraduate / How has your heritage affected you? [4]

u should clarify and write more. how long can it be?

suspended for giving useless feedback