Writing Feedback / Gifted by nature women plays a significant role in bringing a new child [2]

Gifted by nature women plays a significant role in bringing a new child (life) into the world but unfortunately there are some aspects that she need to consider before becoming a wonderful mother.

Majority of men think it's women's job to decide and weather she want a baby or not. But if you see the amount of stress and competition she experiences both at home and workplace it's not fair on men if they walk away by simply saying "it's not my responsibility".These sort of non supporting statements not only makes the women insecure but she may also feel insecure and disrespectful, resulting in emotional breakdown which can not only cause an extreme decisions like early termination or in some cases chances of ending the marital relationship as well.

However in recent times as both the genders are getting equally recognized by each other we can see there is some change in this trend.Now a days both the men and women are understanding each other and respecting each other views at least in important decisions like this.

Concisely in my opinion men should also share the responsibility by supporting their partner in every possible way they can, which can allow women not only cherish those moments (during pregnancy) but also allows to understand the unconditional love of their husband.

My questions:-

Is it alright to have a short second paragraph?

I've used a word "Concisely " which I believe a good word. Please comment on this.

can I use parenthesis statements in between?

Writing Feedback / IELTSl; Refugee programs/process should be allowed? [2]

First of all, this idea popped up in my mind whilst I was watching TV.Thought I should try to take as task 2 question.

Question:- With the increasing number of refugees ever before most countries debating on the refugee programs/process. Does this whole process should be allowed? Discuss and give your opinion.

One of the major challenges that most of the countries facing is the increase in number of refugees.If we observe the prime cause, it's nothing but growing number of conflicts across the world. Resulting, the growth in the people who abandoning their motherland in order to save their lives and their loved ones, which I believe we have to understand being humans.

However, asylum seekers are more vulnerable to the situations starting from the journey from their home to the new country.They had to deal with trauma, criticism and moreover they even don't know the systems and procedures of the new country.

Furthermore, the tax payers are also not happy if the government continuously accepting these people as this could eventually lead to increase the tax and effect the countries economy one day.There is always a scale of uncertainty with in the people that refugees may take over their jobs.

Needless to say these asylum seekers add numbers to the census and in cases to the potential skilled employment levels.The governments could use these resources to back fill the skills short fall.

In conclusion, governments should thoroughly investigate and restrict people smuggling where evidences are deliberately damaged.How often we witness the political blame game on these topics.In my opinion, every country should accept, restrict the number of refugee intake and constantly monitor the process to accommodate to the changing scenarios. After all, at the end of the day we are humans and should understand the word "humanity".

Please comment on the structure as well. Sincere thanks for your time.
Cheers.

Writing Feedback / IELTS; How to stay healthy in your country? Reasons & Answeres [3]

Question:- A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet,gets plenty of exercise and avoid stress.What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Nowadays very few people are unknown to the word "stress".The current cyber age is demanding more than what one can deliver and eventually causing them more stressed than ever before.This could lead to potential long term ailments like diabetes,obesity and blood pressure etc.In order to avoid this people are getting educated through various channels and promoting healthy eating, exercising to stay fit and active.

Earlier people tend to eat the food without worrying about the contents of the products.The better science world around us made people smart in choosing the diet and cutting down unwanted salts,sugars,saturated,unwanted cheese and fats.Recently various health departments around the world made it mandatory to display the contents and the energy levels on various fast foods.Undoubtedly there is more demand for nutritionist ever before to give proper guidance in this area.More and more people realizing the health benefits of vegetables,fresh fruits and started making them as part of their regular meal.

On the other hand apart from healthy eating a well structured physical activity also required .Good exercise helps to function all parts of human body and also allows new cell growth with in human body.These days most of the corporate offices encouraging and promoting by providing a free fitness membership at the local fitness centers and yoga classes. Youngsters keep themselves busy in various sporting events in order to stay on top of stress.

In my opinion to stay healthy and fit it's not necessary to eat less and lift the weights,running on treadmills for hours and hours, but a simple change in our daily routine could make a big difference such as a simple walk in the park could keep the stress at a bay.

Writing Feedback / IETLS; Do you agree that it's worth spending money on space exploration? [2]

Question:
With all the troubles in the world today, money spend on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other things.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

more funds for advanced space technologies

Though the dynamics of the world changing so rapidly in all aspects, it is very sad that people even now living below the poverty line. This has lead to a heated debate among various communities of the world, to justify the money spent on these advanced space technologies are worth investing or not.

Unfortunately, in some parts of the world people are still struggling to acquire the necessary commodities like food and water. Especially people of Africa were the worst hit by this. If you see the prime cause for these troubles it could be low literacy levels, challenging geographic conditions or an ongoing war which lasted for decades. These factors immensely affects the given country's economy.

On the other hand, if we observe the space exploration from its starting age, the usage of satellites are well known to humans. As the world population and curiosity of the human are growing continuously, scientists are exploring other planets and try to find out the possible living conditions on them. This could even unfold potential threats to the mankind in future.

The advancement in technology is inevitable and more natural. If we can't accept this then the journey of the human from Stone Age to the present day should be scrapped. In my opinion, all this transformation happened because of exploring various technologies and strategies which has raised the living standards.Furthermore, the money spent on these programs are necessary to make our earth a better living place.