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Posts by DrS
Joined: Dec 9, 2012		 Last Post: Jan 1, 2013
Threads: 1
Posts: 24  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 25
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DrS   
Dec 9, 2012
Undergraduate / I've always desired of venturing off into the large cities: NYU Supplement [6]

Tell us why you have chosen the above campus (using a maximum of 700 characters-spaces and punctuation included). (NYU-NY CAMPUS)

Living in the quiet, suburban town of xxxxx, I've always desired of venturing off into the large cities. I wanted to experience the bustling city-life. After exploring New York and walking through NYU for the first time, I was awed by the myriad of skyscrapers that spanned the horizon. I knew I found my future home. NYU, located in the heart of NYC, is a place perfect for me. Its urban setting will allow me to attain a true taste of diversity as I partake in the cultural melting-pot. The limitless opportunities available in the international pub NYC, will give me knowledge that reading textbooks will not, and foster my personal growth as I interact with people from all over the world.

How is this? Do you feel I efficiently respond to the given prompt?

Thanks for all your help,
DrS
DrS   
Dec 9, 2012
Undergraduate / Amherst Supplement - Overcoming difficult hardships [5]

I'll be frank with you.

Just by the fact that this is for Harvard, your essay will not work. It's very trite and over-used. Almost any immigrant (Asian) can tell a decent experience of being teased due to ethnic factors.

Uniqueness. Originality. Particular for Harvard.
DrS   
Dec 10, 2012
Undergraduate / "To be or not to be" ;UPenn Supplement Essay [3]

Didgeridoo hit the spot.

College essays are not like English papers. We understand you have eloquent command of language, but it sucks out all emotion out of your paper. It's so dry.

To be honest, I read the first paragraph and just wanted to stop.

Sorry for being too frank.
DrS   
Dec 12, 2012
Undergraduate / Harvard commonapp supplement essays- about use of education [8]

When I visited my local hospital to get treated for a cold, I was floored by seeing hundreds of people waiting in line for hours to see one of the two doctors present. I found myself thinking of applying what I had learned about neural networks in an online class to develop a system for automatic recognition of diseases based on symptoms. But due to lack of adequate research facilities, and 'professional' programming skills, I failed to create such type of programs.

Sometimes I even think why not we have programs which do not require any human interaction. In my high school every day I observe teachers signing in a registrar's booklet to mark their presence in the school, and further another person uploading the attendances' data in a computer. Why we do not have programs which just by reading teachers' faces put up their attendances. Then we will save a lot of time and indeed, a lot of paper. Programs are potentially very powerful, as I said when we will save paper, and then we will definitely save trees.

~~
Change these two paragraphs. You sound extremely pretentious by mentioning these hypothetical examples. "A system of automatic recognition of disease based on symptoms." If we were to have that, we wouldn't have doctors anymore.

"programs just by reading teachers' faces put up their attendances"

You're not a genius. Don't try to sound like one. It makes YOU sound pompous and fake.

Sorry for being harsh.
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