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Posts by malhamed [Suspended]
Joined: Mar 7, 2013
Last Post: May 15, 2013
Threads: 9
Posts: 19  
From: Saudi Arabia

Displayed posts: 28
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malhamed   
Mar 7, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Home schooling Vs Learning at schools - Which is better? [4]

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school.

Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.
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Learning pradies for children

One of the most important tasks for parents, is to provide good education for their children, to ensure stable future and respected creere. But what is the best place to help development of children? This is what I will address through this essay.

Most people say that it is best to send their childs to school in order to get knowladge in a profisional way. The schools can provide up-to-date information about diferant fields, that kind of knowladge might be deficalt for parents to provide. Moreover, participating in class room with other children and sharing ideas among them that has diferant poit of viwe, will have a strong positive effect on the way of thinking for children.

On the other hand, there are some people who still think that the old fashon way is the best. That is by taking care of your children by yourself and teach them at home. They say that help them to focus on the kind of knowladge their cheldren must have and that they can follow up and monitor their progres closly. Inaddition, they have this fier that their children might catch bat habits from their class-ments. Also they give an example for the most famus sientes of the world like Neoten and Tomson, and how these people made it with out going to schools.

Both ideas has good points. However, nowadays it is hard to prove that you are will educated with out having a certificate from any profisional orgnaization to support it. And so, it will be harder to have a prfisional career an your life. Personaly, I will send my children to school.

please comment and give me approximate band i could get with this
malhamed   
Mar 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Home schooling Vs Learning at schools - Which is better? [4]

sorry,you article full of grammer mistakes , afterwards , i do not even know what are you talking about ,i think you need to repeat this topic again, and i think you need more practices.

thank you so much for the comments, your comments will help me improve

First, you should post your IELTS essays under "writing feedback" forum if you expect more comments :)

sorry ;) my mistake

you need to pay lots of attention to spelling!

yes i know :( i am trying a lot and if you have any suggestions that can help me improve my spelling please hit me with it...

+ if we left the spelling mistakes away ... how would you rank the essay??
malhamed   
Mar 16, 2013
Writing Feedback / Execution of criminals; Capital punishment is necessary to control violence [4]

hi,
please give what you think about my essay:

Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Execution of criminals



One of the most important concerns of any government in the world is how to increase the security level in their countries. Applying strong punishment on criminals (such as death penalty) and making example of them to others is one of the most powerful ways to decrease the crime levels.

A research by King Saud university took place last year showed that countries which applys capital punishment on criminals, has less crime rate than countries that does not apply such punishment. Though it is a powerful tool against crime, but it is not right that all criminals get executed for any crime. In my opinion, only murderers and drug dealers must have such punishment. Moreover, having the criminals executed in public will have the strongest affect on people, and raise the fear inside them from committing such crime.

Some people may say that no one has the right to take the life of a human, even if he committed murder. They say that throwing those criminals in jail for a long time is enough. Then our society will be safe. I can ensure that those people usually change their opinion when someone kills their kids or brother. Also, why should we pay money to keep those criminals alive.

In the nutshell, I can confidently say that the increment of crime level is attributed to not having strong punishment rules such as capital punishment.
malhamed   
Mar 18, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Break before collage is good for students! [5]

please check my essay and give what you think of it. and if any one can tell me what bands its worth for it will be very nice

Break before collage



Is it good for student to have a break before continuing further education after high school? Well, there have been many argument apropos to the previous question, and all of them have strong points. I personally believe that student must have a break to rest and take some breathe before getting back in the education battle.

Some people say that a student had spent a lot of time in school, and it is better to have real life experience. Working can allow them to have a better understanding to the market needs, and that can allow them to plan for further education accordingly. Furthermore, having a little experience in the field that the student is planning to have higher education in, can make the course pass easily. We cannot neglect the fact that when student will have a break after high school, either by working or traveling, then they will feel ready for getting back to study, and will look to that break as a refreshment stage in their lives.

On the other hand there are a group of people who strongly support the idea of not having any kind of "refreshment break" for student. In their opinion, when someone stops study and get to work and starts collecting money, it will be really hard for him to get back to school chairs. Well, that really happened to me personally, but I think that is attributed to my laziness, and not everyone like me.

In conclusion, I can confidently say that having a break before moving further in your undergraduate education is good, but only when it is not so long.
malhamed   
Apr 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Why people go to college? Reasons and examples [13]

please help me improve my writing with your comments. thank you in advance>>>

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, or to increase knowledge).

Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, more people are interested in getting higher education. We can think of many reasons that make people spend many years of their life in college or university. However, the most common reason is the need to have a good career in further life. And that is mostly attributed to two points, have a better income and better position in society.

When we ask parents why they send their children to college? Most of the answers will be: so they can have a better life and good pay. A research took place lately in India showed that 97% of students want to have a good degree to able to find a job with good salary. This is a clear indication that people look at the college degree as a life security.

Other people have a concern of having a respected position in society. One of my friends for instance, whose father is a big business man, went to medical college. Obviously, he did not need to work, but he wanted the title "Dr." before his name in order to get respected position in the society. Hence, I believe that there are many other people who care about making their career through higher education, but not for the money.

In the nutshell, I can confidently say that people are caring more about getting into college or university to build a better career in their life, because either to have better income or better title before their names.
malhamed   
Apr 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Why people go to college? Reasons and examples [13]

It looks like your essay is pretty short. There is a minimum requirement for the number of words and make sure you meet it.

:) yes it is 246 words i missed 4 words in the 40 minutes
malhamed   
Apr 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Why people go to college? Reasons and examples [13]

. I'm sorry if I'm too harsh and maybe I'm too nit-picky! I am a perfectionist! :)

no its ok this what will help me to improve>>>
I was trying to make a good structure of the essay in this stage :)

PS- tell your friend's dad that he didn't have to go to medical school to become a doctor if he's in business! He should have just got his doctorate in college! In my opinion, that's a stupid reason to go to medical school.. what a waste of brain space and money! He could still be called "doctor" with a doctorate in business, which is probably information he'd use! haha :)

maybe I wasnt clear... I wanted to say that my friend went to medical school and his father is rich... although he didnt have to work, he is studying MBBS to have a tilte...

can you please check again if it wasnt clear???
malhamed   
Apr 6, 2013
Writing Feedback / The Traffic Jam In Egypt; Rubbish and Traffic issues [3]

I imagine if I am moving in a normal street in Egypt. Of course I won't like it. I'll see some awful things. Something that nobody likes but most people is taking place in doing it. That problem you can see it in every street in Egypt.

I am not the best person to correct things but I suggest writing this part like this:
when i drive my car through the streets of egypt, I get so desperate as many people because of the biggest problem that we suffer over the streets...

some thing like this :)
and i think that you should state the problem clearly in the introduction ... i had to read so much to understand the problem
malhamed   
Apr 6, 2013
Writing Feedback / Fathers influence BOYs and Mothers influence GIRLs ; IELTS [3]

The boys are most influenced by their fathers and girls are most influenced by their mothers. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and details to support your opinion.

Effect of parents on children
The children's personality is affected mostly by their parents. But there are many arguments whether they are more influenced by their mother or the boys are influenced by the father and girls are influenced by the mother through this essay I will address the points that support the latter statement. And how it is attributed to the human nature and parents being the closest and trusted example to follow by their children.

Firstly, it is the nature of human children to copy and act like their parents, especially following the same gender. For example, in many families we can see a4yers? Girl wearing her mothers jewelry and high hill shoes. Where her 5 years old brother may wear his father's hat, shoes and cigar. This behavior of the children shows us how they follow their parents and how each one of them is trying to become like the biggest sexual match in the family thus, as this example results, it is clear that boys are influenced by their father and girls are influenced by their mother naturally ,and no one has told them to do so.

Moreover, children are also being affected by their sexual matching parent because he/she is the closest and the most trusted role model to follow. One of my friends for instance has both son and daughter. His son always shares with him his ideas and his activities at school. When his daughter does the same but with her mother. The son knew that his father understand those ideas from the men view point, and so, the father is the best source of consultation for him. This example shows how children have more trust on their sexual matching parent and how does that parent is becoming as a trusted example to follow.

In a nutshell, it is clear that parents have big effect on children personality and that children are more influenced by their sexual matching parent than anyone else. Hence, I hope that all parents be a good example for their children.
malhamed   
Apr 6, 2013
Writing Feedback / 'bigger market'; Live in small town or live in a big city? ; IELTS [7]

hi there, i know this one is short but i was trying to make good sentences in a shorter time >>> i rewrote the introduction because i thought more to enhance it so please tel me which one is better and the there any comments..

Some people prefer to live in small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

One of the most important decisions that human have to take is to choose his living place, where he can feel more comfortable. It is argued that people opt to live in big cities rather that small town or villages. Personally, I think settling down in a modern big city is more beneficial. Through my essay I will analyze one of the most important reasons which is chance of having a better career.

Big cities have a bigger market, wider commercial area and thus better work opportunities. For example, one of my friends who was living in a village in Saudi Arabia, had a good voice and was singing in wedding parties. But when he moved to the capital Riyadh he published his first song album in only 1.5 years. From this example we can see that there are more activities in cities that help people to expose their gifts. It is clear from the example that we can have better opportunities in big cities.

In a nutshell, I am positive that living in a big city will allow me to have a better work chances. And I believe that many people will move to big cities for the same reason.

this is another introduction tell me if it is better??
Selecting a comfortable living place is one of the most crucial decisions in one's life. It is argued that people opt to live in big cities rather that small town or villages. Personally, I prefer to settle down in a modern city as it is more beneficial. Through this essay it will be proven that living in big cities is more desirable by analyzing how it can help building a successful career.
malhamed   
Apr 7, 2013
Writing Feedback / 'bigger market'; Live in small town or live in a big city? ; IELTS [7]

yes dumi i understood the meaning but i tryed to say by this (It is argued that people opt to live in big cities rather that small town or villages.) is that :

the fact is that people like living in big cities not the other way around
so i was trying to state my opinion about what people choice is and the i spoke about what i would like

so was it clear from what i wrote ???
malhamed   
Apr 14, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; How should schools select their students? [3]

Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic abilities, while others believe that it is better to have students with different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

The academic abilities vary from one student to another. Equally varied the opinions of people about whether or not having student with different abilities study together is more beneficial. Through this essay I will analyze both points of view.

Some people say that selecting student who have better abilities and are fast learners can be more beneficial for them as it will give them a chance to study advanced levels of the education program and complete them faster. In India for instance, a student can be moved from one grade to the next in the midterm, if he found to be smarter than his colleagues. If these kinds of students have a special classes and study program, it would be more helpful for them. Hence, the people who support this point of view recommend that schools must have a special arrangement for student with special abilities.

On the other hand, there are some people who think that students with different abilities must study and interact with each other in order to have verity of ideas in the class room and that can both groups of students to develop their way of thinking. Moreover, this kind of arrangement will develop the sense of respect to each other among students as they will understand the difference between one human and another and that everyone is gifted in different ways.

In conclusion, I can confidently say that the idea of having students with different abilities participate in the same class room posses more positive points. Thus, I recommend that schools consider this strategy of education.
malhamed   
Apr 15, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Can price hikes on fuel solve environmental problems? [8]

well, I said i feel but I am not sure its wrong... plus am not the best to do this but if I was writing it I would write it like this:

on the other hand, many people think that increasing fuel ...
malhamed   
Apr 30, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: class attendance and vacation length [2]

hi, today i posted 2 essays that i worked on... hope you can help me with it
and if any one could score it for me to get an idea about how am i doing it will be great

1- should attendence to university classes be optional??

Most of students study harder in high school to be accepted in good universities. But once they are accepted they start asking whether it is optional to attend all classes or not, and the arguments about that start. However, I believe that universities should have strict rules to make students attend classes regularly. Through my essay I will present two reasons that support my opinion, which are creating competition among students and allowing them to share ideas with each other.

When we make students study together it will give them the passion to be the best and make them try to be better that their peers. A research took place in 2007 at Osmania University in India showed that regular students were able to score better than distance students. The researchers attributed this to the competition factor more than anything else. Thus, the benefits of regular attendance to classes can be seen.

Another important benefit that students can receive by attending classes regularly is to learn how to solve problems in different ways by sharing their ideas with each other. For example, one of my friends who was studying computer science in a university, learned one way of formatting a system from the books, and learned two other ways by discussing these matters with his classmates. Sharing his knowledge made him understand that there are many ways to solve a single problem. As the example shows, attending classes in university can develop student thinking.

In a nutshell, I can confidently say that students could lose a lot of benefits if the attendance to university classes is optional. Hence, I hope that all universities apply rules to make students attend their classes.

2-how long should the paid vacation be ?
Yearly vacation length
Nowadays, there are strict rules to protect the rights of the workers, and one of these rights is the paid annual leave. The length of this vacation varies from one country to another. In my opinion, the lows about paid vacation should not give the employee more than two weeks. Through this essay I will present two positive impacts of applying such rules, which are faster development of both countries and workers skills.

Countries are being developed by their hard working citizens, and when they have less vacation they will participate in the development better. To clear this point I will present an example, when Japan was hit by tsunami lately, the Japanese spend 3 more hours of daily work for free, and the country recovered from this disaster in less than one year. This shows how working more can be good for the development of countries.

Moreover, having short vacation can develop the skills of the employees better and makes them more productive. A research took place in 2005 at king Saud University showed that when the employee is being away from the working environment for more than two weeks, he/she will take two more weeks after starting the work to be able to product as he was before the vacation, thus he/she will be developing skills slower. The research made it clear that not being in touch with your work can affect your skills negatively.

In a nutshell, I can confidently say that the fast development of countries is attributed to having hard workers who are more in touch with their work, and I hope that all counties allow employees to have no more than two weeks of paid vacation.
malhamed   
May 15, 2013
Writing Feedback / How to select your career ? Status/ Salary or Satisfaction? [3]

"some people choose a career according to the social status and salary it will give them. Others choose a career according to whether they will enjoy the work."

Which do you think is best way to choose a career? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The Best Ways of Selecting a Professional Career



Selecting a career path is one of the most critical choices in one's life. However, the reasons of which people are selecting their careers upon are varied from one person to another. Although contested by many, it is argued that selecting a career that you enjoy working with is more beneficial. This can be proven by analyzing how it can help improve both productivity and happiness among people.

When people do something because they like it, they usually product better by bringing new ideas and working harder to produce the perfect product. A research took place at Osmania University in India three years ago, showed that people who like their jobs are never late and never leave early. Moreover, they take a minimum time for lunch break. In fact most of them have lunch while working. As this example shows, better productivity is attributed to selecting a career that you enjoy.

In addition, people feel happier in their life when they like their work. For instance, one of my friends who works as a doctor and is picking up a huge salary, complains all the time about his work and the pressure that he is facing. While his brother who is a painter is very happy with his work, even when his income is much smaller than his brother's. it is clear that people get happy when they work in a field that they enjoy.

In a nutshell, I can confidently say that choosing a career that you enjoy working with makes you both a better worker in the society and happier. Hence, I hope that people consider what work they like to do more than anything else.
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