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Posts by AK354
Name: Alfin Kurnia
Joined: Nov 29, 2016
Last Post: Dec 2, 2016
Threads: 7
Posts: 8  
Likes: 1
From: Indonesia

Displayed posts: 15
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AK354   
Dec 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / (TED Summary) We are worried about local warming in your laptop [3]

Yossi Vardi as a investor and prankster who has presentation about local warming from laptop can disrupt human's fertility particularly very dangerous for male. He initial give information that nowadays most of people only concern about global warming problem and ignore about local warming. Therefore, that problem become essential because numerous people don't know that when they put laptop on leg is harmfull to sexual healthy.
AK354   
Dec 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / (Summary Article) This Is the World's Most Expensive City for Expatriates [3]

Recently, The company named Mercer which usually survey about the most expensive city in the world, launched new rank regarding that. They announced that Hongkong as the most expensive city for tourist and immigrant. The living cost in there was tremendous expensive including housing, food and entertainment. The company found that price of coffee in Hongkong approximately $8 twice as much as London ($4.40) and Tokyo ($4.00).
AK354   
Dec 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / Eight Easy Ways Lead to Success [6]

Hello Yurike,
Here my advice for you

... to Freeman Thomas who talks about passion

Secondly, Rupert Murdoach said that the success must do with hard working because nothing comes easily (You must understand position noun and adverb, using appropiat words in right place)

The i deas come from creativity skills ... >>please attention your capital letters
AK354   
Dec 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary article (v) face recognition tech used to 'identify' criminals [3]

Hello Dioba,
This is my correction for you, feel free to correction me too.

... a device in which can recognize age >> certain researchers discover a device which can recognize age

gender and mood while several experts argue that it raises ... >> your sentence is very long, using coma (,) to separate your sentence, I very confused to understand your sentence if you write like that.

he unsure about the methodology about the system although ... >> please don't use same words closely like ( unsureabout the methodology about )
AK354   
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / (TED Summary) Robot that "show emotion" [6]

David Hanson as a robotic designer who has opportunity to shows his invention. He present a video to introduced a robot which has truly emotion like human. It can give various expression like smile, angry, and sad. It also can responded and recognized people surrounding. Although, there are many developed to make robot like that. He believe in the future, robot will has ability to understand your speech and feeling, and even can make relationship with human.
AK354   
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / The feature of wind plants and where they are applied [3]

Hallo Lincon, This is my advice for you, hope it can help you. feel free to correction me too.

The pictures illustrate ... >> I think your introduce is better like this (The pictures show a wind turbine and it is optimal location to generate electricity from wind )

The wind plant consists of ... >> The wind turbine consist of high steel tower where all another parts are installed on it. Another parts are blades which made by fibre glass, and even wood.

When you write don't forget to write at least 150 words..
please you must reduce your error grammatical
AK354   
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / (Summary Article) Only Rich Kids Should Go to College [3]

What is only wealthy kids can continue their study to college? It's like an weird question. Many evidence increase about that, if you must borrow money to pay for college choose to work than take a higher education. Perhaps that only the rich (or those who get full-scholarships and grants). So it seem that only rich kids who can continue their study.
AK354   
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / A company should hire an employee who has a brilliant idea and is able to work individually [3]

Hello mardian,

this is my advice for you, hope it can help you and feel free to correction me too.

If you want to get higher score write at least 250 words >> TASK ACHIEVEMENT you must cover all the requirements of the task, select and highlight the appropriate information, and present an overview

THEN
COHERENCE AND COHESION >> please you must connected your answer with question, don't go out off topic
GRAMMATICAL RANGE & ACCURACY >> using good words and reduce error grammatical
AK354   
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / The criminality is continuously growing and threaten societies. [4]

Dear, Fauzi

This is my advice for you, hope it can help you. feel free to correction me too.

SeveralNumerous reasons are engaged to this problem. >> is better
- Please you must write 250 words or more.
- using more less common vocabulary (idioms is better)
- keep on topic, >> not out off topic
AK354   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / (Summary Article) Study: The Rich Really Are More Selfish [3]

Pundits said inhabitants who has less money or low education prove from research that they have more compassion and empathy than their wealthy counterparts, according from psychological studies. In social scientist speak, "self-oriented behavior" is more likely to be exhibited by people with higher educations, excelent jobs, high incomes, and overall higher-ranking social status.The paper also claims that people with less education and less money tend to be more generous with what money they do have
AK354   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Truth of Turkey and Tryptophan [9]

Dear Yurike,

This is my advice for you, hope It can help you.
Honestly, you write very short sentence. I confuse to correction your writting.

The turkey'scountry must capital in first letter meat has a bad reputation ...

Remember when you make summary should show source which you write, it can help corrector to know even understand your summary.
AK354   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing test 2 (media prefer to make news about famous people such as actors, singers, etc) [3]

WRITING TASK 2

Nowadays, most of media prefer to make news about famous people such as actors,singers, and sports player. They decide to choose them because more attract viewers and readers. On other hand, numerous people who have best achievement and involve in many activity are seldom to show, they prefer to show calebrity's life. Honestly, in my view news about popular people is essential, but show unknown poeple who has good achievement is better.

In my opinion, calebrities became trending topics because their popularity, so media will show their life or relationship and it can cause media probably get more much money. Nevertheless, sometimes it can bad affect to audience particularly children. It can be happen, because media often make a bad news about scandals or cases which have calebrity, so when people even children see that will influence and follow that bad activity, it's very dangerous. Therefore, I think media should make other good news regarding unknown people.

As we know, numerous people who don't have popularity like actor or singer but they have many achievements. It can inspire many poeple, and edia should report about them. For example, Siti from bekasi she got scholarship to Germany because her achievements. She graduated from best university in Indonesia with best score, and because that she got scholarship to continued her study. She is very smart and dilligent, but if you know, his father's jobs is driver's motorcyle or we usually called ojek. It's very inspire many people. I think many people in this country like Siti and every people must know about them.

In conclusion, famous people and ordinary people are equal important. Media will get more profit because calebrity and audience will get advantages about good story from ordinary people. From all of them I think media better to make more news about inspiration people but still show about calebrity news because is important to their business.
AK354   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / The media should bring more attention to commoners people news than the celebrities news. [4]

Dear Yurike,

This is my advice for you, I hope it can help you and feel free to correction me too

If you want to get band 7 or more your essays need this:

Using more complex sentence structure, using more complex vocabulary, using more complex grammatical use and variation, don't forget you must write at least 250 words. to rise your ability I suggest you to read more essay topics, sample essays.

when you writing you must focus on your topic, don't go out off topic, you probably don't have score of task achivements.

AK354   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / The proportion of boy and girl learners in schools in relation to the difference of subject demands. [4]

Dear, honguyen

This my advice for you, I hope it can help you.

First, remember you must write at least 250 till 265 words. and ensure you using uncommon words or vocabulary. second, caution your grammatical error. and don't write repetitive words, and last if you know idioms you can using it, it can increased your band rapidly.

and this is my correction for you:
..., the amounts of boy and girl learners have been reaching the peak. >> when you introduce your sentence you must show your explanation, I mean you must decide if you agree or no

AK354   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing task 1 ( numerous teachers who acceptance in ontario over 7-year period) [6]

WRITING TASK 1

The graph illustrates about numerous teachers who acceptance in ontario over 7-year period from 2001 to 2007. Overall, Frence-language teachers were more acceptance than English-language teachers. After that, there was a upward trend of Frence-language teachers. In contrast, English-language teachers was fell gradually between 2001 and 2007.

As can be clearly seen, English-language teachers were decreased extremely from approximately 72 percent in 2001 to 40 percent in 2003. After that, there was a slighty rose in 2005 by 3 percent. Furthermore, there was decreased moderately to 28 percent in 2007.

The graph also shows French-language teachers was fell sharply from 70 percent in 2001 to around 52 percent in 2002. Then, rose again in 2003 by 10 percent. After that, there was a fluctuated between 2003 and 2007. Finally, there was a peak in 2007 at 73 percent.