Writing Feedback / Writing task 2 : Some people say it is OK to use animals for our benefit, others say it is not good [5]

Some people say it is OK to use animals for our benefit, others say it is not good to exploit them. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

how people treat animals

Several persons believe that something is not wise to exploit animal, opposite that some human society trusts, we can take benefit from the animal. This writing will discuss both of statements. I totally agree if human take advantage from an animal because one of utilizing animal is created for help human being to survive.

On the one hand, the animal could be utilized for aid sustainability of human life. Some animals are created to assist human such as horse, chicken, cow, and others. Taking an example in my village, local who has a horse, he will be easy to do his daily activity. Go to market, garden, and another place could be reached by a horse. So the animal has an essential position in human life.

On the other hand, mostly people who keep animals even tortured him. They think keeping animal is help their life with giving drink, eat and nursing them. Actually, people keep animal has a good intention but they do with the wrong way. For example, they keep a bird and they were thinking, they help to find food and drinks. The impact the bird will be stressful spend the time merely in the cage.

I agree if we could take benefit from an animal but we have to keep their freedom. In this case, we have to regard and think a good way to treat them. So, their life could be saved and they can get a happiness.

To sum up, keep the animal is good if you can treat with the right way. This article tells us about 2 mindsets human about the the animal. I suggest for government to make a new rule to manage this issue.

Please give me a rational score :)

Writing Feedback / IELTS2 - it is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring their children up [6]

It is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring their children up.
Do you agree or disagree?

parenting and nourishing kids

As parents, knowledge about nourishing kids is very important. Especially, currently, many people get married in the young age. Hence, I totally agree if fossils taking course about be good parents.

Firstly, look the number of young people get married early, it will be worry with their relation by the time. With their age, is not easy to manage and organized their household. Therefore, the number of divorce often increase, following the number of young person get married early. For a example, mostly my friends who fast married have broken home. This happened, because their knowledge about parenting is less. So, training course about the issue is nice for them especially for both of young father and mother.

Secondly, through this training we can reduce the number of promiscuity, because several oldsters are amateur become father and mother actually. It means, too fast become graybeard, in the deep explanation, they have not ready with their knowledge, their experience, their mental and others. All of it have to prepared early, the one way is through this training course. As is there this course, we hope can tackle this issue or minimalist the number of it. so that, attending the training course is pivotal to do.

To conclude, become parents are not easy, so we have to prepare all things about household. I suggest to government to make new rule about this problem and collaborate with oldster to parenting and nourishing their kids. The last, I hope except to handle this problem, the number of broken home will happen reduction.

Please give me score ^_^

Writing Feedback / writing task 2 : some people think universities should make sport a compulsory module on all degree [6]

With an increasing overweight population some people think universities should make sport a compulsory module on all degree courses.
To what extent do you agree?.

The Importance of Exercise

At the time, the number of overweight has increased every year. Some people believe that universities have to make new module about sport to tackle number of overweight population. Furthermore, this essay will discuss about how about if college have sport module for all degree and what the impact from it.

Actually I agree if university has sport module for all degree courses, because the student will be healthier. Some researcher have researched about cause of disease, one of cause is inactivate. Inactivate is very dangerous for our health, even inactivate more hazard than smoking and drinking alcohol. Especially for student who always spend their time for sit on the chair to study, their blood circulate will be chaotic and in the long-term will impact with our body. Henceforth, be active or exercise is pivotal to our healthy.

To distinguish living things and non-living beings, simply we just need to see whether the thing is moving, and exercise is aspect that for increase quality of move, similar to increase our life. Healthy is very essential to have each person especially student. With good health we can do anything and can always focus with our lesson in the class, it so difficult to concentrate if you are getting sick although you are clever. So that, sport module is very needed for all degree not merely for sport student because all of students need health body to study. evidently, exercise not only life style but right now has become a necessity.

In conclude, this essay tell us about how are important exercise for our health and the university need sport module for all degree. I suggest to government and lecturer to make new module about sport and be applicated in all of degree. I hope the issue of inactivate does not happen again in the next time.

Writing Feedback / City - for the young / Rural - for the old? Living in small community or not? [4]

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else.
Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area.
What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in small community?

city or rural area to live?

At the time mostly residents merely know a little people in their location. Contrary with human who live in the rural area especially in the past, they had good relation with their neighbor and knew many people over there. This writing will discuss about merits and demerits society who live in small area.

Many benefit we can get if we are living in the village such as Relax and Avoid from Stress. It means, if we are in the small town we can get good feel because over there has nice-air better than in the city and could help you to avoid stressful. As example, mostly citizen go to hutment in the weekend after they are getting stress because their activity in the city center. The impact, their mood will be good after spend the time over there. So that, decide to live in the small town is nice choice and good consider with several advantages we can get it.

On the other hand, living in the small area has disadvantage such as difficult to getting more information, as result the local experience lack of information. Taking example, in the my home town the name wonomulyo, still hard to get more information over there. The impact, the local is difficult to improve their life , and the government is hard to build well public facilities and remake the nice rule because they don't get new information about it from other place or other country. So, if you want to live in the rural area you have to consider it because stay there have benefit and demerit.

To sum up, this essay try to tell us about advantages and disadvantages to live in the village. I suggest you to think twice if you want to spend your time merely in the village. It mean you have try to live in the city when you are young and you can back and stay in the rural area when you have retirement, and you could enjoy with your remaining time.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 2: Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result. [4]

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products.
What problems does this cause?
What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

Local products are being displaced

Local products have been surpassed by foreign products that have large budgets for advertising and promotion. This clause discuss about how come the citizen prefer to buys some things from other place than buys some things from local, and how to develop local product more familiar previously.

First of all, in fact according to economic theory that whose have many budget and can manage well it, as result attracting many buyers. For example, in Mamasa city there are several company especially gading corp, the company has big budget for advertising and promotion, the impact its familiar and has many buyers than other company. Even tough, if we are trying to compare the quality of their product, there are companies have good product than gading corp, yet residents sometimes only buy product that well-known for them. So, one way to make goods sold more salable, I suggest to make nice advertising and often promotion on other social media.

On the other hand, we shall think how to make local company more develop, because if it develops may increase the income of local residents. Taking example in Bali city, Bali has developed and become one of the most developed cities across the world. Even tough, in the past to be exact in 1945s, Bali build some tourist facilities while Indonesian was struggling for independence. At the moment, why could Bali develop because the authorities conscious that they have to maximizing the wealth of its natural resources. The impact some tourists only know Bali than Indonesian. So that, the government has to support the local company such as give aid, building facilities and others.

To conclude, this essay tell us about how to local company become more famous with less budget and why the big company who has many budget to making advertisement and promotion more exist than local company. Therefore, the writer hopefully the authorities able to help locals.

Please give me score.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the country side [3]

In recent years some countries have experienced very rapid economic development. this has resulted in much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the country side. this situation may bring some problems for the country as a whole.

what are these problems?
how might they be reduced?

the gap between city dwellers and villagers

In recent years, several countries across the world have economic stage that more and more increase. this essay discuss about the impact of economic growth that causes the gap between citizens and villagers and how to reduce it.

nowadays, economic growth in several cities center are happening so fast. as a result many investors decide to invest their share , so the construction of public facilities are more and more developing. contrary in the rural area, because of the absence their shares in the village so that the construction of public facilities is not like in the city. in addition,the number of immigration more and more increase because they are thinking it easy to get job in the city, yet will be over populous in urban area. taking example in Jakarta, because of high standards so that the number of immigration increases and makes it more crowded. the impact, this will cause congestion everywhere and making some work does not go smoothly. actually this growth is excellent if balanced between in the city and in the village.

even though the growth is good for our country but also have disadvantages, therefore we have to solve it. for the first stage, the authorities should allocate funds like tax to build some public facilities in the village. if the construction of public facilities in the village continues, more job will be available. consequently, the problem like over populous because immigration can be handled. government awareness becomes very important.

to sum up, this article try to portrait the one way to solve the issue and effect from it. the author suggest to people who have responsible for this thing to change the law about growth of economic, and still give attention to people who live in the rural area, in order to avoid a gap between urban and rural people.