Ekaputri17
Mar 20, 2019
Writing Feedback / Two sides of debate - CBEST: Technology contribution to the modern life [2]
hi @jakepkdt
This is my suggestion for your writing:
1.The technology serves to ... society and economy (I think productivity will be similar with productivity, so chose one of them. as well as protectio and and , so it ... of life a and well-being.
2. it is a negative (too short)
3. However, when it is created to ... Essentially, technology can be ... ( you need to succine the sentences with simply to mention what a negative and positive impact)
4. The rise advance of ... society and the economy to achieve efficiency and productivity better in ... also contributes to human's knowledge about the world and scientific research it is far more different with thesis statement.
5. Thus, people's dependence on technology to ... (circle opinion as you have already used in the previous sentence)
6. that can autopilot do. They would be deskilled lose a skill that is very crucial in this era and lose ...
7.technology appears ... nor positive circle opinion
8.However, without realizing it, ... of our actions.
circle opinion
hi @jakepkdt
This is my suggestion for your writing:
1.The technology serves to ... society and
2. it is a negative (too short)
3. However, when it is created to ... Essentially, technology can be ... ( you need to succine the sentences with simply to mention what a negative and positive impact)
4. The
5. Thus, people's dependence on technology to ... (circle opinion as you have already used in the previous sentence)
6. that
7.
8.
circle opinion