Undergraduate / The Blue Crew & Counterpoint - Additional Essay to Wellesley College [3]

Can you give me some feedback?

WELLESLEY 100 ESSAY

A picture of 12 women in bodysuits with toned arms and athlete bodies cheering after receiving awards has made me fall in love with Wellesley. Walking along the Sai Gon Riverbank, I imagine the fierceness and unison that the boat-mates in Blue Crew would bring to me in every practice before the NCCA National Championship. For me, waking up every morning at 4:18 AM to learn how to row in Lake Waban would be a gift to see the beauty of the lake and immerse in the winning-spirit at Wellesley. But I don't see the rowing in the lake is only the way to build up my muscle or feel belongs to a community, my heart has found the syntonization when founding the emphasis in "mindfulness and trying to find the flow" in every row lessons which were delivered by Coach Tessa. From this view, I see that rowing at Wellesley is more like art than sports. Maria Iannotti '20 - a member of the crew has said that "strive not for "success" but for excellence". Participating in Blue Crew would push me to go further my limits, sharpen my mind and body to be ready to spark in the future.

While searching for the information about Wellesley, I've come up with fear when imagining the first time living alone in a foreign country. But I relieved after finding Counterpoint - the monthly journal of campus life and also is what I called Wellesley 101. Being an international student at Wellesley, what would I do to save one of the most meaningful memories in my life? Truly captivated by each story shared by each Wendy, I imagine one day I will submit a post about a day of myself which will make people feel astonished and understand more about the feelings and perspectives of a Vietnamese international student. I want to send these posts to my family and friends in Vietnam and other countries, to keep in touch and let them not be worried about my decisions. Writing is the way I choose to record my days in the US, to find hope to move on and overcome challenges. In some ways, when I could write then I could feel my confidence gets back. Writing is a big challenge for a foreigner and when I overcome it, there would be no reasons to be scared of it anymore.

Undergraduate / The practical values of Liberal Arts - WESLEYAN ADDITIONAL ESSAY [4]

Can you feedback on my short essay? Thanks a lot!

Wesleyan President Michael Roth believes a liberal arts education is a pragmatic choice in these times.

In what way do you see a liberal arts education having practical value?

Working in the business environment right after high school brought to me a different perspective of college education. Being in between the colleagues who are older than me, I always wonder: "How can I still be equal to them although I've not attended college?", "What is the difference between me and people who all have a college degree?". Later I realized that the difference doesn't exist so much because I could catch up with their information and procedures in a short time. It is impractical to spend the next 4 years in college to learn the available procedures and then return to what I've already done. What I truly expect from a college education includes the opportunities to explore my choices and criticize knowledge. Liberal Art Education encourages me to do different things, and Wesleyan has stimulated me to combine Theater and Neuroscience majors. How to make people interested in my plays? How to trigger the emotions of audiences? What is happening in their brains when seeing the performance? Those questions lead me to two different majors, one in art and the other in science, to solve the biggest human inquiry: Who are we? What is called human?

My time at college should be a journey of exploring, building my fullest characteristics, and sharpening my worldviews through thousands of experiences. The practical values of Liberal Education lied in the freedom of choices and the ability it cultivates in me to utilize that freedom.

Undergraduate / Culture Shows & Campus-wide brain parties - WELLESLEY SUPPLEMENT ESSAYS [2]

WELLESLEY 100: PICK TWO ITEMS MOST ATTRACT, INSPIRE, OR ENERGIZE YOU.

Vietnamese Literature class... I was tired of copying the lecture from the board to my notebook without any discussions about the script or characters. Today some Japanese students would visit my school, so why did I still stuck to this desk and didn't come to see them? Looking at the grief and boredom of my classmates, an idea runs throughout my mind. A little post note, some secret ciphers, in only 10 minutes, I "organized" a team to escape the room. Utilizing the playtime, we sneaked out to the hall, pretended that we were going to buy breakfast. We entered the hall, looked at the stage, and in one second, my mind was blown. It was the first time I saw over 100 foreigners in their traditional costumes, their school uniforms, and enjoyed the Japanese sword show, the Japanese music in-the-real-life. I was amazed by their stories about their daily lives in Japan, their integrity in playing games, their calm manner when listening to my stories. Only 3 hours spent with them sparked in me a desire to explore the cultures in the world rather than any international relations lessons. The Culture Shows at Wellesley has been attracted me naturally. There would be the day I attend a multicultural organization to represent cultures on the stage no matter where I come from. It might be a week when all the culture shows occur respectively, and I would never blink one time at these shows.

Representing my school to those people from Japan would never be a fear to me. I love presenting on the stage because I love inspiring people with my stories. My voice became silvery and forceful when talking and drew people to be around me. Stories had powerful impacts. At the Tanner Conference where the stories come together, I want to show my own. Due to my own interest in managing and business, I skipped the parties with my friends many times and didn't get along with them much. However, our relationships have improved since I walked onto the stage and started talking. Rather than saying what is obvious and available on the Internet, I found the intimate relations between myself and others to reach out to their hearts. Storytelling has connected me with my people. Any moment that allows me to connect is priceless, and I really treasure your Campus-wide brain parties.

Undergraduate / Neuroscience major - WELLESLEY SUPPLEMENT ESSAY [2]

Can you give me some suggestions to make this essay better? Thanks a lot! One more useless thread title = ban

Wellesley 100 - which items most attract, inspire, or energize you and why

- Neuroscience major:

I fall in love with Neuroscience after finding the connection between chemical interactions and the function of neurons in regard to the way of my brain thinking. In Chemistry, I love to think about it in form of a historical timeline, like a journey of chemicals in their "lives". With Neuroscience, the study of the structure and function of neurons appears the same way in my mind. I found a research opportunity in Wellesley offered by Ms. Barbara S. Beltz who passionate about serotonin and adult neurogenesis, which has immediately captivate me by the description "to understand the sequence of events leading to the production of new nerve cells and the regulatory processes that influence these events." I'm naturally attracted to this structural and process-centric thinking. Looking back to the past, in the time of choosing a science subject to apply for competitive high schools, I chose Chemistry because I wanted to attend STEM fields as a girl to prove my ability in front of boys. I used to choose that major in high school because of them, but now I will choose Neuroscience this time for myself.

- Campus-wide brain parties

I love presenting and exchanging ideas because I love telling stories. In each of my presentations, I don't think of each like the delivery of information, I think of each like a story that I'm telling my audiences. A story needs to be related to their lives, contained surprising ideas, and ended meaningfully. When I was telling those stories and excitement and enthusiasm emerged in my voice, I saw that people became fascinated. Sometimes they laughed, cried, proud, or dived into deep reflection. Stories had powerful impacts. At the Tanner Conference where the stories come together, I want to show my own. Not only telling my stories, but I could also see the possibilities of connecting two or more ideas to invent a new solution. I've spent hours and hours roaming through many study fields and life experiences and I'd love to listen to their stories too.

Undergraduate / AN ADVENTURER - PS TO VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY [3]

Could you help me to revise this essay? Thanks a lot

LIFE OF AN ADVENTURER

When I was 4 years old, I lived two lives. In one life I lived with my parents, teachers, and friends. Another life was a secret place where I was blending in the most amazing adventure with my soulmates. I was thrilled in my first time flying up to the blue sky with Sakura the CardCaptor and exploring the black hole in the universe with Optimus Prime. They led me to a brand new world that surpassed the detention of school and family, agitating the excitement of exploring this wonderful planet inside an inquisitive kid. My father used to be frightened when he saw me always sat at the corner of the room, and... didn't do anything. Don't like other kids in kindergarten who love to run out in the playground and make their parents angry by their crying sound, I was so silent.

It was hard to tell people that you are in your own world when they can't listen to you. I used to reveal that secret world to my kindergarten teacher by saying: "I want to be an Explorer when I grow up". Unfortunately, "Explorer" was not a career in my teacher's booklet. She said no. "It's not right, your friends are drivers, teachers, now you will be a doctor". "No, teacher, I want to be....". Dazed but very conscious, I kept insisting on my intention. The inspector from the Department of Education would come that day, so she didn't want me to mess up in her model lecture. She glanced at me, speaking in a gruff voice that made all of us in terror. I kept silent.

From that very young age, I went through sadness and puzzlement, yet I didn't surrender, just like Copernicus when he whispered "And yet it moves" after being forced to proclaim what was against his belief. My thinking was full of possibilities. Why do these things happen? Why not? How can we combine those ideas? Life is an amazing adventure when you question and test out the possibilities. The leaf is green because it is young; Doraemon could rewrite history because he has a time machine; however, it seemed irrational with this "impossibility".

The day I walked alone into my high school which was isolated from my familiar surroundings, I knew it was the moment that called my name to live a life as stated in my belief since I was 4 years old. When I spoke in a confident manner to my classmates: "I want to be your monitor", I was excited yet terrified. It gave me goosebumps, while my breath became rushed and my mind went blank. I had never been a monitor before! How can we know what we can do if we never take action? No one knew that I grew from the deepest terror in my heart: the fear of being limited. While other students were sleeping freely after a long-hour lecture in the early morning, I was running from stair to stair, trying to contact the graphic designer of my club after I had missed ten calls from her. While others were passing their time in extra classes at night, I was laying in the bed, turning my back to the outside world, and crying after receiving the resignation letter from a member I loved. Every time I drew closer to the perfect me, I got more scars on my heart, and some of them would take a lifetime to forget. However, I was glad to have them in my life.

An Explorer is willing to penetrate into the strange land in spite of being injured in seek of a solution to solve the obstacles for the following people. In her eyes, everything is new and she volunteers to be the pioneer to see what will happen. Nothing can stop me from adventuring. And that is who I am.

Undergraduate / Why I wanted to be an Explorer - Personal Statement WELLESLEY UNDERGRAD [4]

Hi everyone. I consider applying to Wellesley this ED2 and am really nervous about my Personal Statement. My previous PS is about the Dream of becoming an Explorer (is this theme popular? :) However I didn't show the reason why I wanted to be an Explorer in that one so it was not as insightful as I want. I try to demonstrate the reason and it comes to be this new outline. Can you review it for me? Are there any parts that I need to remove or dig in?

Thanks a lot!

the Dream of becoming an Explorer

When I was 5 years old, I was a timid girl who usually sat in the corner and kept silent. However, I was hiding a big secret in my head. I wanted to be a female Pope. Becoming a female leader was my dream although sometimes it was considered bossy and ambitious. But nobody can deny that those women were very free in their choices and could live outside the bias. I admired Catherine the Great of the Russian Empire and other women in power. When I watched Chinese movies with my grandma, I loved the women characters who were good at martial art and could protect themselves and fought for what they love and believe. In reality, I could not see the women in my family tried to go against the dependent lives and live independently. My family, like other Vietnamese families, lower the value of women under the value of men. In all family gatherings, women are always the ones who cook and prepare food, while men are sitting in the living room and chatting with each other. I wonder "why". My mother tried to convince me that they are the traditions that show the beauty and gracefulness of women. However, all the things I can see was just that they let what called traditions confined them and their choices. Maybe among my aunts, my sisters, there was a woman who longed for a chat with other women or even just a relaxed time. It's not right or wrong when they chose to become housewives, but it's really wrong that they've never tried to question What is happening and explored their choices.

I tried to protest for my right to choices from 5 years old through learning and activities. I wanted to live a purposeful life and never let people make a choice for me. I was very conscious of every decision and always ask: "Why do I do this?" I hate the feeling of becoming inactive, I chose to raise my voice and ask questions instead.

When I face a challenge, I don't want to choose the easy part like girls around me, so I set my fear aside. I love challenges in a totally new environment. I even study in the bathroom when my roommates partied or spoke too loud, or went to the cyber coffee and finished my assignments between the gamers. No one knew that I grew from the deepest terror in my heart: the fear of being limited. When I spoke in a confident manner to my classmates: "I want to be your monitor", I was excited yet terrified. It gave me goosebumps, while my breath became rushed and my mind went blank. I had never been a monitor before! I chose to be a monitor, a team leader in high school and took a gap year to follow my passion for business.

All the things I did in the past is to show the value of a girl that she is independent, ambitious, and talented like any boy. The journey I've gone through was hard and I was almost defeated sometimes when I saw that I was so lonely. Every time I drew closure to the perfect me, I got more scars on my heart. However, I was glad to have them in my life. Those scars, not like any ordinary bruises, have made me who I am.